Contemplation

Disclaimer: All characters are for J.K.R. of course. Plot thought of by Betz (kind of). The other stuff belongs to me!

As always, a big thanks to the brilliant Charmed Nay for being my beta!

A frazzled Hermione sat in the chair before her fire. Libertine had made her feel things she'd never felt! That voice, those lips, those hands! She would never forget the feel of his lips on hers or the way his tongue glided lazily into her mouth, savoring her taste, cherishing her. A conflict welled up within her. She wanted to be with Severus and Libertine.

In a fantasy world, she could almost imagine that Libertine really was her Severus. When he'd changed his voice to a deeper one, it took on the sexy quality that had her heart fluttering wildly when talking with Severus. He had told her to close her eyes and to pretend that he was her lover. Good Lord! Pretend, she had. That last kiss, she had pulled his hair free of its binding, and her fingers had twined with his locks. It had been a fantasy come true. She had often dreamt of sliding her fingers through Severus' hair.

Actually, for the evening meal before she'd gone to meet Libertine, he had been so attentive and caring. Offering to help in her research, if he only knew it was about him, wanting to give her a Calming Draught, if he only knew how much she truly needed it, and that lingering caress. She'd nearly melted. He, apparently, could read her so well that he'd known instinctively that she was 'up' to something. This could only mean that he had taken such an interest in her he'd learnt her moods. This meant that he cared more than he let on.

Confused. This word could definitely describe the way she felt. She'd contacted Libertine to learn how to attract Severus. Severus seemed interested, and they had made plans to go to a conference together. If she hadn't been misreading things, something would likely happen between them. Meeting with Libertine had left her feeling alive and confident. He had reached inside her body and pulled out her worst fears, making them disappear. Was he just saying those things because he was trying to get into her knickers? Was he just saying those things because she was paying him? Couldn't be! He knew her knickers wouldn't be coming off, and she was paying for honest answers. It almost seemed as if... as if he truly wanted her. But how could that be? He didn't actually know her. Hermione wasn't one who believed in love at first sight either. What was it about Libertine that had her feeling this way?

Morals or not, if she hadn't been interested in Severus when she met'd Libertine, she would have allowed him to touch her in every way that he wanted to. His hands and mouth and words were just too great and had a way of seeping into her subconscious. He was very good at what he did. Hermione frowned. He probably told his other five hundred clients the same things. She sighed. Not sleeping with him had been the right choice. She needed to save herself for Severus. "Damn!" she screeched suddenly. "I didn't pay him! We didn't even talk about money. I just Disapparated!" Bloody hell! What if he showed up at the school demanding his money? Severus, Harry, and Ron would have individual fits. Not to mention, Minerva and Albus might want to sack her for lewd conduct.

Hermione quickly scribbled a note to the gigolo.

Sev Libertine,

Hermione Granger

She sealed the parchment, scribbled Sev on the outside, and ran for the owlery. With any luck, he would get it this night, and there would be no visits or Howlers from him the next day. "Hedwig! Pig!" Hermione squinted in the darkness, trying to see the two owls that normally handled her mail. They must be out hunting. "I need an owl to deliver something," she said. A large tan owl swooped down to her arm. "Hello, friend. I need this to be delivered to Sev. It's important that he gets this right away." The owl hooted and flew off into the night.

Feeling pretty dumb, she made her way back towards her chambers. What had she been thinking to leave a loose end like that? That would give him a reason to confront her. However, he seemed to worry about hiding his identity, so she honestly doubted that he would embarrass her publicly. Just in case, though, she felt better about thinking quickly and sending the owl.

A hand reached out and pulled her against the wall. "Ahhh!" she screamed before a hand closed over her mouth.

"Shhh, it's Severus, Hermione. Calm down," he said silkily. He removed his hand from her mouth but kept her pinned against the wall with his other hand and his body. "What are you doing out this late? Are you not feeling better? I thought you had plans?"

"I just came back and remembered that I needed to owl something to someone. I feel much better, and what are you doing out so late, Severus?" she asked, looking around to see if anyone was about. The corridors were dark and only a bleak candle was lit every so often to give light.

"I decided to make my rounds, and I saw someone walking from the owlery. I thought you to be a student. I was trying to scare you a bit when I realized that it was you, not a child," he said, trying to look into her eyes. He'd just come back on the grounds after spending time contemplating their meeting. He wanted to kiss her again, but he feared that she would realize his kiss was the same as the ones she had experienced just before. He released her abruptly and moved away. He still reeked of Libertine's oils. He didn't want her to place his scent. "I bid you a good night, Hermione."

Suddenly an owl came out of the darkness and swooped down on him. "What the hell? Who would send an owl to me in the middle of the night?" he asked in an annoyed voice before freezing. She would. But it would be addressed to Libertine! Damn! She would know the truth. He took the parchment and turned to face her. He was nearly knocked to the ground as she pulled the letter out of his hands.

"Er... it's me," she said nervously, stuffing the parchment into her robes. "I wanted to tell you something, but I have just realized that I need to add a little something. I'll just slip it to you at breakfast tomorrow. It concerns the... er... research that I am doing."

He narrowed his eyes. Did she know? Why was she looking guilty? He was the one who had just been busted. Hadn't he?

"I saw the name Sev on there. Why would you call me that?" he asked, feigning puzzlement.

"I thought it would be funny," she said with a nervous giggle. "I'll see you." Hermione bolted away, leaving a stunned Potions master in her wake. Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! She slammed into her chambers and ran to her bed, plopping down shakily. Then, realizing she still had her clothes on, she jumped up and pulled off everything except her underclothes. She pulled out the parchment.

What an idiotic owl! She should have waited for Hedwig! The stupid, school owl that she'd used had tried to deliver her letter to the wrong man! What if she hadn't been there to intercept the letter? He would have known that she owed a man money for his services. A man named Sev Libertine, according to her parchment. If he would have mulled over the name, surely he would have come to the conclusion that it was the same Libertine who was a man for hire as seen in the Evening Prophet's ads section.

Their weekend would have been ruined! He would never see her as a respectable woman if she paid men to bed her, which she hadn't, but he would have assumed she had. The letter would have been condemning. As he'd held her against the wall, she'd nearly leaned in for a kiss. What was wrong with her? She couldn't be forward like this with Severus. Not yet. She had realized that the smell of Libertine was in the air. The man's scent had been on her clothing still. What if Severus had noted another man's scent about her person? Surely, he would be disgusted or believe her to be a right little harlot!

She went to sit at her desk to fix the parchment. On top of Sev, she scribbled the name Romeo Libertine. She supposed she shouldn't have told the owl to bring the note to Sev. The poor creature had probably delivered letters for Severus already and simply assumed that was whom she had meant! It had been a close one. Hermione pulled on a fresh set of clothes and crept back to the owlery. This time, she instructed the owl to send the letter to Romeo Libertine.

A tired Hermione sat down at her desk to pull out the notes from her bag. She needed to go over everything that Libertine had told her. He had said that some men were afraid of rejection and would never openly admit to having feelings about someone, fearing the person would ridicule him or turn him down. That could possibly be the case with Severus. It was apparent that Libertine felt that way. Instead of making a move, the man hid behind a mask to feel confident. If he were wounded by words, the person doing the wounding would never know, thanks to his disguise. Severus masked his feelings as well.

Libertine had said she needed to tell him. She had done that. Mostly. She had hinted at wanting a kinship of sorts with him. Surely, he'd caught on to what she'd meant. Also, it wasn't exactly a conference anymore. It was a real trip. They were staying an extra night to see the sights while waiting for some ingredients to be gathered. He did want to spend time with her. He hadn't said as much, but she could tell. Tomorrow when she gave Severus a fake parchment, she would be sure to let her fingers linger upon his. She would also compliment him. Maybe that would lead to a bit of conversation... or something else.

Contraceptives. It didn't seem right for the wizard to have sole responsibility for this. What if things progressed quickly? It seemed like something easily forgotten. In fact, after Libertine had begun to kiss her earlier, she'd not thought a thing about contraceptives or, honestly, anything but the kiss. She would see Madam Pomfrey for a potion in the morning. There had to be different types. Some that lasted more than a few weeks. Hermione smirked. Severus would never forget a contraceptive potion! He didn't seem to like children very much as it was, so she knew that would be a top priority on his list.

How did she feel about that? She'd always dreamt of having at least two children. She had been an only child, and she'd always longed for a sibling. She'd vowed that she would one day be a mother of two. If things worked out with Severus, could she deal with never being a mum? That would be some soul searching she would have to do when the time came.

Libertine had made great sense when he'd told her about sex and relationships. The man said that if he cared for a woman and had known her for a long time, sex on the first date wouldn't be amiss. She and Severus had actually known each other for over nine years now. She was his former student, fellow Order member, and a colleague. Those were grounds for sexual relations if anything. In her seventh year, she'd shamelessly had a crush on him, but she'd never thought it would amount to anything.

When she'd accepted the position at Hogwarts, she had pushed aside any feelings, wanting to make a fresh start and devote herself to her work, but eventually, the feelings had come back. The little debates they'd had during meetings had sparked the interest again. She really thought about him after he'd begun to snub her when the others had come back to work at the school. He'd explained why, and she understood. He didn't like Harry or Ron. They were a bit overzealous at times, so she couldn't fault him for choosing to not stick around after the meetings were finished.

Back to subject, if she and Severus made love when they took their trip, it would not be immoral or disgusting. They would be two adults engaging in pleasurable activities by choice. Lavender was right. Ron was right. Why wait for marriage? If a person cared for someone enough to have sex with him, she should do it. It wasn't like she would owl her mum and dad with details. They'd never know about it. She had feelings for Severus, and she could think of no better way to show him than to give her body and heart to him. She hoped that he would readily accept her heart along with her body. It was a package deal after all.

What had he said about there not needing to be any penetration for an orgasm? How the hell was that possible? Perhaps she should go to the library. There were bound to be books about orgasms and how to self-inflict one. Would Severus be as good as this Libertine? Something in her gut told her yes...he was every bit as good. Severus exuded sexuality. His voice, his hands, his arrogant confidence in himself, his movements. She would find pleasure with him, and if she didn't, she really didn't care. This wasn't really about having an orgasm. This was about being with the man she loved. Loved? Well, maybe. She certainly felt strongly about him. She could love him. She could envision a future with him, complete with the two kids she'd always wanted. She cared enough to give herself to him, so, yes, love it was then.

The most worrisome thing had been to kiss him. She had been afraid that she would do something appalling, like slobber on him or bite him. Libertine had given her an excellent bit of practice. From the way he'd moaned, the gruffness in his voice, and the hardness of his penis, she knew she had done something right. She only prayed she would have the same effect on Severus. Perhaps she should meet with Libertine once more. She would make sure that he would keep his hands and those lovely kisses to himself, but she would listen to his stories of the perfect seduction. It would be intriguing, and it would give her an idea on how to go about seducing Severus if he wouldn't make the first move on their trip. She would see from his reply if he was still interested in meeting with her as he'd requested, pleaded.

She grinned, remembering her hand pressing over his penis. He had been hard, and the impressive mass seemed to overflow under her hand. She had seen the pride shimmering in his dark blue eyes when she'd commented on it. He'd even had the arrogance to say that it could get bigger. Part of her hoped that Severus wouldn't be so large. No matter what he said, it seemed unlikely that something such as the size of that would fit inside of her without tearing her apart. However, his words and actions had her resolve weakening and thinking about trying it.

"Damn it, Hermione! Get some sleep!" she chided herself, throwing the parchment down. She would get up in the morning to go for a run. That would help to put things in perspective.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I need a drink," Severus said, hoping to calm his nerves. Apparently, she hadn't figured out that he was actually Libertine. But how could she not have? The owl was addressed to the man she thought to be Libertine. The owl had done its job and found him straightaway. Unless... perhaps she'd thought that the owl had misunderstood her and brought the parchment to the wrong 'Sev'? That had to be it, and if so, he thanked any gods listening for allowing her to remain so naïve. It wasn't long before he heard a screeching coming from his classroom. He checked and found another owl waiting for him.

It was the same parchment. He could see where she had written his full name on top of the Sev name. So, it was true. She didn't realize that he was the man she seeked. He replied immediately, but only after sending the pesky bird away. There would be no more mistakes or mishaps when corresponding with her.

Hermione,

Romeo "Sev" Libertine

Severus smirked. "I can be such a gentleman when I choose to be, can't I?" Little Hermione wouldn't know what hit her if chose to seduce her this coming weekend. But could he? He now knew he had a chance to be with her as himself. She wanted him. Had wanted him, and only him, for at least the past year.

Guilt wrenched his soul. It wouldn't be right to take advantage of his beloved that way. If she would ever find out about his true identity, he would lose her forever, especially if he'd taken advantage of things. He'd just have to be sure that she never learned of his secret identity. Severus decided to owl his parchment before dawn. A few hours of sleep would clear his mind and lighten his heavy heart... hopefully.

The next morning brought a heavy fog upon the grounds, but Severus didn't mind. It was easier to leave the castle undetected by the watchful eyes of students. He had to make his way into Hogsmeade to pay one of the owls there to deliver his letters. It wouldn't do for a gigolo to send out a letter with a Hogwarts owl. As he made his way out of the owlery, something shocking caught his eye. Potter and Weasley... Ginevra Weasley, sneaking out of an alleyway. That was Draco's woman! What the bloody hell was Potter playing at? They each went separate ways without so much as bidding each other farewell.

Weasley walked down towards the shops while Potter made his way towards the castle. No wonder Potter had known the truth about Hermione not meeting her friend. Outraged on Draco's behalf, Severus stalked after the prat who lived. "Potter, odd meeting you here at a time such as this," he hissed as soon as the boy was within range.

He smirked as the boy jumped. "Sir, Professor Snape! I was just in town... er... shopping," Harry stammered.

"Is that so? Does Miss Weasley always accompany you on your overnight shopping flings? I'm sure that Draco wouldn't mind if she did," Severus said, glaring at the adversary before him. "I shall take great pleasure in asking him."

"Wait," Harry said quickly. "You don't understand, and if you do that, you'll just start trouble for no reason. It's not what you think."

"Not what I think? Really? I saw you two together. Seemed pretty suspicious if you ask me. I'm sure Draco will know exactly what you've been up to," Severus prodded and began walking towards the castle.

"Stop, Snape," Harry spat hatefully. "You're going to keep your mouth shut! It's not your business. When things aren't your business, then you just don't say anything."

"Why would I worry about keeping my mouth shut?" Severus said, narrowing his eyes, crossing his hands in front of him. "I think that you feel like you can just go about having your way with any woman you choose, even those belonging to someone you supposedly call friend, all because you are Harry Bloody Potter!"

"It's not sexual! She just needed me to do something that Draco couldn't, all right? If you say something, it will mess everything up. Just shut up!" Harry exploded. "You know, I never told anyone about your dirty little secret. Maybe I should, eh?"

"What? I have no secrets!" Severus' voice was barely a whisper. What did Potter know? Had he figured out his other job after all? Damn it! Hermione's angry and disappointed face passed through his mind. Potter would not mess things up for him.

"Oh, no? Don't you though?" Harry taunted. "I ought to go Floo Hermione right now to let her know all about it. Keep your mouth shut, and I'll do the same."

"What exactly would you be telling Miss Granger, Potter?" Severus stepped forward and caught himself reaching for his wand. He couldn't hex a fellow colleague without just cause. Albus would never understand.

"That you saw her undressed! I saw you watching her. About two months back," Harry said angrily. "Dirty, perverted spectator! Liked seeing her body without clothes, did you?"

"How dare you, Potter?" Severus drew his wand and leveled it at the boy's throat. "I happened upon her by accident! What did you want me to do? Make myself known and make her feel worse?"

"Well... I don't know," Potter admitted, not seemingly fazed that a wand was pointed at his throat. "But you still are no better than me. I may have been with Ginny this past night, but at least I didn't see her naked!"

Severus lowered his wand. "Then what happened?"

Harry looked around uneasily. "She's pregnant, all right? Draco doesn't know. When they split up a couple of months ago for that week, well, we... you know." Harry made a suggestive expression with his eyes and hands. "We went to another country last night to have a test done to be sure the child isn't mine before she tells Draco the truth."

Severus was shocked. "Another country? Pregnant?"

"Yes, where people wouldn't talk about the famous Harry Potter and put it in the papers. That was the last thing I needed," Harry admitted. "It would have destroyed Ginny and Draco, not to mention my friendship with him."

"Well, some friend," Severus bit out. "Couldn't wait for them to split so you could creep into her bed, eh, Potter?"

"Shut the fuck up, you arse! Why do I even bother?" Harry stalked away angrily.

"Hang on, Potter! If you saw me watching your young friend, then that means that you too were watching her. What exactly were you doing out for a walk?" Severus sneered at the insolent brat.

The boy's cheeks reddened. "I was in my Invisibility Cloak. Ginny and I had spent some time out near the Western cliff. I happened to see her, and I tried to avoid the entire thing. Then, I saw you squatting in the bushes to my far left. I couldn't move or you would have known I was there." Harry sighed. "I guess I didn't want my presence known either, to save further embarrassment."

Severus could have breathed a sigh of relief. Potter only thought it a chance happening, and he apparently hadn't seen Severus in a state of undress, if he had been on that particular morning. He nodded. "I can understand that as well." The two men stood there eyeing each other.

Harry finally spoke. "I know you like her, you know. I see you looking at her. You should just talk to her," Harry said.

"What? I am a grown man, Potter. I don't go about fancying several girls, as you apparently do. Watch your back where Draco is concerned. I'm sure he would hate to learn of your near miss with his intended," Severus said with a nasty smirk. He Apparated to the castle gates before Potter could respond. Was he so transparent that even Potter knew of his interest in Hermione? No, he guarded his secrets well. Potter was just perceptive... and nosey where his friend was concerned. Severus nodded. Right, then. Nobody else knew.

He made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast. Last night had been so beautiful, but after... Nearly being caught by Hermione with that ruddy owl and then having Potter point out the things he felt had Severus slightly annoyed. As he scooped some eggs onto his plate, Hermione sat next to him. Being very early on a Sunday, hardly any students or any staff were present yet.

She leaned over to whisper, "Good morning, Severus. Sorry about the mishap with the owl last night. I hope you didn't dwell on it for too long."

Severus replied, "Not at all. I had a nice sleep after I returned to my chambers. I even woke for a trek into town this morning."

"Here," she said, holding out a parchment. "Please read it later."

Severus reached for the parchment. As his fingers enclosed around it, her other hand came up to caress them briefly.

"Have a nice day."

Not knowing what to say, Severus blurted, "Aren't you eating any breakfast?"

"I have the need for a run this morning. There are some things that I need to think about. I'll nick something later from the kitchens if I can't wait until lunch." She smiled softly and quickly exited through the side entrance.

With nobody in the vicinity to spy on his note, he broke the seal upon the parchment. Severus smiled more brightly than he'd known possible.

Severus,

Hermione

Proof in hand that she wanted him. Him. Libertine's talk had done some good. She'd followed the advice about touching him and talking to him to express her feelings. Though she hadn't said it aloud, the declaration in her own handwriting was suitable. He would always treasure the letter.

A/N: Up next, Hermione talks to Ginny about things, Sev flirts, and the boys talk. Libertine has a little ex-client trouble.

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