Sectumsempra
Chapter 6 of 19
morgaine_dulacAfter Snape has been told that Lily’s son has only been kept alive so that he can die at the right moment, he leaves Hogwarts for a little Muggle town where he once spent a happy weekend with his father. Walking down memory lane he finds a shabby little pub, a memory and hope. (Sequel to His First)
ReviewedChapter 6: Sectumsempra
'How could this have happened, Severus?'
There was not the faintest tone of accusation in Narcissa's voice. Instead it was feeble, barely more than a whisper, the voice of a desperate woman who feared that the last thing she held dear, her beloved son, was slipping away from her.
'Draco will be fine,' Snape tried to calm her. 'There will barely be any scarring. Madam Pomfrey was quick to apply dittany.'
'It's Professor Snape who saved your son, Madam Malfoy,' the matron pointed out. 'Had he not known the counter-curse...'
She fell quiet as Narcissa once more pressed her hand to her mouth as if to suppress a sob, and Snape turned towards the window, sneering. If any of the two women knew that he was not only acquainted with the counter-curse but had been the one to invent the actual curse that had almost cost Draco his life, they would be much less grateful.
'Your son is in good hands, Narcissa,' he said, his face still turned away. 'Go home. Rest. Madam Pomfrey will contact you as soon as Draco wakes up.'
'Of course, I will. Right away, Madam Malfoy,' the matron promised, and in the end, Narcissa was persuaded to return to her manor. But it was not for her sake that Snape had sent her home. He was well aware that she would not find any rest but hover in front of the fireplace, waiting for the flames to turn green. But he did not want her at Hogwarts. If she stayed by her son's side, she'd expect Snape to keep her company. She'd want him to be there, to reassure her that no more harm would come to her precious boy. But Snape did not think himself to be in a position where he could give comfort or make promises. After all, this incident was partly his fault. If he hadn't invented that blasted curse...
Sectumsempra.
Snape shuddered. He had been proud of this curse once, had thought it would give him power and that it would even bring him glory. Of course, it had done neither, and by the time he had understood what kind of evil he had created, he had sunken too deep into the darkness to care. It had not been until later, many years later, that he had worked out the counter-curse. He had wanted to create something pure and bright in order to redeem himself, but by this time, his soul had been beyond salvation.
'I will send up an elf with another phial of Essence of Dittany,' he promised the matron before he turned to head towards the door.
'Do you want me to inform you when Mr Malfoy regains consciousness?' Madam Pomfrey asked.
'There will be no need for that,' Snape replied. 'I am confident that you will do everything that needs to be done.'
It was not that he didn't care about Draco. He had known the boy since the day he had been born and had always hoped that he would listen more to his mother than his father when it came to political beliefs. He cared deeply for Draco, and it had been a hard blow when Snape had learnt that the Dark Lord had chosen the boy to pay for his father's shortcomings. Of course, Snape would do anything in his power to keep Draco from harm. He would have done so even without the Unbreakable Vow. But tonight, he did not have the peace of mind to stay by the boy's side. He needed to get away, far away, to a place that had never seen magic, neither dark nor white. A place where old sins did not matter and sorrows could be drowned in a glass of Scotch or two.
The pub was quiet, as it so often was in the middle of the week. Edmunds sat with the three fishermen at their usual table, discussing politics and playing cards. An elderly man sat by the window, slurping his soup, and Hope stood behind the bar, sorting out chipped glasses and giving Snape a puzzled look as he sat down opposite her.
'It's not Sunday yet, is it?' she asked jokingly and reached for a beer glass, thinking her dark-clad patron would want a pint. But the look in his eyes and the growl in his voice made her pull back her hand.
'Scotch,' Snape ordered unceremoniously. He didn't say please, and he didn't say thank you, and it wasn't until he had drained the glass that he glanced at Hope, who was looking quite concerned.
'I'd offer you a refill,' she said, 'but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.'
'I'll be the judge of that,' Snape snapped, holding out his glass, regretting his harsh tone already when Hope picked up the bottle to pour him another drink.
'I apologise,' he said, his voice considerably softer. Of all the people in the world, Hope was the last one he had meant to snap at. In fact, he had hoped that his mood would lighten up in her presence.
'No need to apologise,' she replied. 'I've heard worse in here.'
She filled up his glass once more, tilting her head as she did so, her green eyes fixed upon her former Head of House.
'Drink it slowly,' she advised. 'It might do you good after all.'
'Will you keep me company?' Snape asked.
'Soon,' Hope promised. 'I'll just...'
She nodded towards her patrons. The fishermen were about to leave and so was the elderly man. There were empty glasses to be collected and friendly words to be spoken to ensure the men would return another night. Hope would have to wipe the tables and mop the floor, and Snape reminded himself that he was but another lonely soul frequenting this pub. Hope could not just drop everything for him. But still he followed her with his eyes, hoping she would look at him once or twice and that she would soon return to the bar. But instead, it was landlord Edmunds who settled beside him.
'Fancy seeing you here in the middle of the week. Life being rough on you then?' he inquired, pointing at the glass Snape was holding.
'On me and everyone else,' the dark wizard replied.
Edmunds shrugged.
'Oh, I don't know about that. Spring's well under way, flowers are blooming. And some people are blossoming as well.'
He turned his head to tentatively look over his shoulder, leading Snape's gaze towards once more.
'I haven't seen her this balanced in years,' Edmunds explained.
Then he turned to look at Snape again.
'Thank you!'
Snape raised an eyebrow.
'I hardly think there is anything you need to thank me for.'
'Codswallop!' Edmunds interrupted him. 'I have seen the way Hope looks at you. If I didn't know her so well, I'd say she has a crush on you.'
Snape's left eyebrow joined his right, and Edmunds grinned.
'If I didn't know her so well,' he repeated. 'Hope isn't the kind of girl who develops a crush. But I can tell that she likes you. I know she counts the days until Sunday comes around and that she takes extra care with filling your lunch plate. And I know that talking to you is good for her. My bedroom is next to hers, you know. I haven't heard her crying at night for weeks now.'
Snape swallowed. He knew that Hope was doing much better. She still lit her candle when she retired to her room at night and stood by the window, sometimes only for a couple of minutes and sometimes for several hours, but she would go to bed eventually, and when she did, she frequently extinguished the candle nowadays. She wouldn't do that if she were still afraid of the shadows of the night, Snape was quite certain of that, and he had been very pleased with this development. He had, however, not spent a single thought on the fact that he might be the reason for Hope feeling safer nowadays. Edmunds pointing it out so bluntly now almost made him blush. Almost. He was, after all, Severus Snape.
'Hope, love, do lock up,' Edmunds now called towards his foster daughter. 'I doubt we'll be getting any more patrons tonight.'
'I shall be going then,' Snape said, but Edmunds shook his head.
'You're not moving a muscle,' he commanded. 'Talking to you is good for Hope. But judging by you showing up here in the middle of the week and downing a glass of Scotch without even wincing, I think it's you who needs to talk tonight. She'll listen, trust me. She'll listen gladly.'
He went over to Hope to bid her good night and asked her to count up the till, and Snape stayed seated at the bar, feeling slightly uneasy. What if Hope really was infatuated with him? She was dear to him, very dear, but romantic feelings were far from his mind. How could he let her know without destroying the trust they had built over the last couple of months, the friendship that was blossoming between them? But to his utter relief, Hope had more practical things on her mind when she returned to the bar.
'I haven't eaten anything all day. I think I need a sandwich. Can I interest you in one as well?'
'Are you afraid that I will drink myself into a stupor?' Snape asked, lifting up his second glass of Scotch which he so far had not touched.
Hope smiled shyly.
'I think I could handle you even if you were drunk,' she pointed out. 'I've worked here for quite some time, you know. Would roast beef be alright with you?'
Snape nodded.
'I'll be right back then.'
Once more, Snape followed her with his eyes as she headed towards the kitchen and found it hard to tear his eyes away from the door after it had fallen shut behind her. His head was buzzing with thoughts, thoughts about Draco and Narcissa, Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, Hope and Nadezhda, curses, charms, friendship, love, and many, many other things, and he found himself unable to focus on any of them. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate and failing miserably, and by the time Hope returned, he had pushed his whisky as far away from him as possible.
'You look horrible,' Hope pointed out, once more looking at him with concern. 'Are you alright?'
Snape sighed.
'It has been a rough day,' he simply replied, and Hope didn't dig around for more. She never did, and neither did Snape. Ever since the fateful Sunday when Albus Dumbledore had appeared out of the mists, they were strictly keeping to the deal they had agreed on earlier that year: none of them asked any questions, and the world beyond the pub's walls did not exist.
'How about we have a seat over there?' Hope suggested. 'In your booth? Much more comfortable, don't you think?'
Snape couldn't help but agree, and Hope sent him ahead, giving him time to take off his coat and stretch out his legs before she joined him, carrying a tray with sandwiches and two cups of tea.
'I figured you didn't want your Scotch anymore.'
She sat down opposite him and produced a box of matches from her apron, lit the tea lights in the table and prompted Snape to eat. But when he brought the sandwich to his mouth, she gasped.
'Is that blood on your hand?' she asked.
Slowly, Snape put down his sandwich and examined the back of his left hand in the faint candle light. There were indeed a couple of crimson stains, clashing violently against his pale skin.
'Not yours, I hope.'
Snape shook his head.
'No. Draco's, Draco Malfoy's,' he said slowly, wondering if he had made a mistake by mentioning the boy's name before the last syllable had left his lips. But Hope didn't flinch, and so he carried on.
'One of his peers cast a dark curse on him.'
'Is he alright?' Hope demanded to know.
'He will be,' Snape replied, absentmindedly rubbing the back of his hand with a paper napkin in order to get the blood off.
'He was lucky,' he continued. 'If I had arrived only minutes later, he would have bled to death. Now there might not even be any scarring.'
'What will happen to the other student?' Hope inquired.
'He will serve detention with me every Saturday until the end of term.'
'Make sure he never uses a dark curse again. Do whatever it takes, I'm begging you.'
Surprised at the pleading tone in her voice, Snape looked up, finding Hope with her fingers tightly wrapped around her tea cup. She had lowered her head, and her hair was obscuring her face.
'Dark curses rip one's soul apart, and the scars never heal,' he heard her whisper. 'You know that. And I know it too.'
Snape frowned. As far as he knew, the woman in front of him had never cast a dark spell. He had told her not to, and she had done everything in her power to obey him. But when Hope finally looked up at him, he could see in her eyes that she knew what she was talking about. She knew the same pain and guilt Snape himself met in the mirror every time he looked into it. She had not only seen the Dark but created it herself.
'I assume you have talked to Dumbledore since he... since he visited,' Hope wondered, and Snape nodded silently.
'Has he told you how Elisabeth Edmunds died?'
To this question, Snape shook his head, and Hope took a deep breath.
'According to the police, Elisabeth was on her way home from the hospital one night when she was attacked by two men. Men from the village. She knew them, so that's probably why she didn't run. They pulled a knife and demanded her purse. If she wasn't quick enough or if they were disappointed with their bounty, no one knows, but one of them rammed the knife into her stomach. Then they turned on each other, they argued, one slit the other's throat and ran off. The police never found him, and Elisabeth bled to death right there on the pavement.'
'I am sorry,' Snape offered his condolences, not knowing what else to say. But to his surprise, Hope wasn't done with her story.
'According to the police,' she repeated. 'The Muggle police. You see, they didn't get everything right. Elisabeth was not alone that night, her attackers did not turn on each other, and the one who survived was found, curled up at the nearest street corner, babbling about the horrible things he had seen.'
Hope paused, picking up her cup to drink, but her hands were shaking, and the tea spilled onto the table. Snape dried it up with his napkin and braced himself for a tale he was not sure he wanted to hear.
'I picked up Elisabeth at the hospital that night,' Hope continued, drying her hands at her apron. 'I did that quite often. It was back then when I couldn't sleep, so I went to pick her up after her nightshift quite frequently. I liked walking with her. She was kind to me. And the two men... We did know them. One of them lived down the street and often came to the pub. His name was Robert, I think. They walked with us for a bit, chatted, wondered if the pub was still open and if they could get a drink. Then all of a sudden, Robert pulled a knife and asked for money. They hadn't planned to this, I'm quite sure, because his companion asked him what the hell he was doing. But he was persistent, and Elisabeth handed over her purse, her watch, even her wedding ring. Why he stabbed her, I don't know. He probably didn't either. I remember he looked shocked, terrified. His companion started to panic, called him a murderer, said they'd go to jail... And then they figured they needed to get rid of me, the only witness.'
Once again, Hope paused. Her hands now lay on the table, quite still, and her eyes were fixed on the tips of her fingers.
'I don't know how I did it,' she went on, her voice quiet but steady. 'I didn't know I could do it. But when Robert came closer, when he drew his knife... All I did was raise my hands. A red line appeared on his neck. He fell to his knees, wheezing and spluttering... I killed him. I killed him with magic, without even a wand.'
'This isn't unheard of,' Snape pointed out, trying to keep a professional tone in his voice. 'Most witches and wizards are able to perform wandless magic when they are in danger. It is a natural reaction, an instinct. We have the means to save our lives, and we use it if the need arises.'
'Of all the spells I could have used... Of all the spells I knew, I chose a dark one. I did not save one single life. I took one.'
She spoke so quietly that Snape could barely make out her words, and when she gazed up at him, he didn't need to see tears in her eyes to imagine how many nights she had spent crying. For Elisabeth, for Robert, for her very soul. And he understood now why she had been pleading for him to make sure that Draco's attacker would never use a dark spell again. She knew how it felt to kill. She knew how it felt to have one's soul ripped apart.
'Hope, please,' he started carefully. 'You cannot blame yourself for this. You mustn't. You were scared. You feared for your life. There was no time to think...'
'I've been trying to convince myself of my innocence for thirteen years,' Hope interrupted him, sadly shaking her head. 'I haven't succeeded yet. And no matter what you say now, the facts remain. I killed a man using a dark spell. All I can do is try to make amends and console the man who lost his wife that night, the wife I did not save.'
Snape swallowed.
'So that is what you meant when you said that you needed to do something good in this world?' he asked.
Hope nodded, and Snape sighed. He knew that there was nothing he could say to convince Hope that she didn't owe Edmunds anything, that she didn't owe herself anything. She would not listen. She would not allow herself to.
'How did you get away with this? Weren't the Aurors alerted by your use of magic?' he asked instead, partly because he was genuinely curious and partly because he desperately wanted to steer their conversation away from guilt and self-blame.
'I ran,' Hope told him. 'At least I think I did. I could just as well have Disapparated. Nothing about that night would surprise me. I was far gone by the time the Aurors arrived. They found two corpses, one of them carrying evidence that magic had been used. But they had no means of tracing it. At one point they even considered that Elisabeth somehow managed to cast a spell. Quite ridiculous, really. She was Squib, after all. But then they found Robert's companion, and he told them that there had been another woman, one that cut his friend's throat without even being close to him.'
'How can you know about this?' Snape asked, bewildered.
'Dumbledore.'
Of course, Snape thought. If he were honest with himself, he'd admit that he was not even surprised.
'He came back here that Sunday evening,' Hope explained. 'You had been gone for hours, but I had not yet left my room. I had lost track of time, and when there a knock on my door, I thought... I kind of hoped that you had come back. Had I known that it was Dumbledore knocking, I might not have opened up. But I did, and once the door was open, I couldn't just slam it in his face.'
Wouldn't have done any harm, Snape thought to himself. Maybe it would have taught the old meddler to keep his nose out of other people's business. But Dumbledore's behaviour was not important for the time being, and so Snape held his peace.
'The Aurors who found Robert and Elisabeth had no leads to go on, and arranging the crime scene so the Muggle police would draw the right conclusions was their first priority. They made sure that there were two sets of fingerprints on the knife and threw it in a nearby litterbin. Then they took care of Robert's friend, erased his memory and sent him somewhere else to live. It wasn't until the next day that they handed in their report, and luckily, the only one who read it was a friend of Dumbledore's, the same Auror that had brought me to the hospital some years earlier. He knew me, he knew Elisabeth, and he knew Dumbledore's plan. He contacted him, and together they decided to hush everything up. So this unexplained piece of magic was never investigated. Once more, Dumbledore enabled me to stay hidden.'
She picked up her cup with a now steady hand and brought it to her lips but then quickly put it down again, wrinkling her nose.
'The tea turned cold the night Dumbledore visited as well,' she mused. 'He stayed for hours, telling me about all the things I couldn't remember and those I had chosen to forget. He told me about Elisabeth and the way he kept an eye on me for all these years. He's a clever man, Dumbledore. You know the painting up in my room, the one with the candle?'
Snape nodded.
'It has a twin, in Dumbledore's office. Whenever I light my candle, he can see it. Can you imagine how many nights he stayed up, watching over me?'
'Albus Dumbledore is no saint,' Snape pointed out, unable to restrain himself. 'He does not do anything from the goodness of his heart. He always has an ulterior motive.'
'Let him have as many as he wants,' Hope replied calmly. 'I don't care. I really don't. I am just immensely grateful that he gave me this opportunity. I need to be here. Here, in this pub, under Edmunds' roof. For his sake and my own.'
Slowly, Snape nodded. He understood. He truly did. For he, too, was living his life only to redeem his sins. Nothing else mattered. Nothing at all. Or at least, nothing else had mattered for many years. He had done what he had sworn to do. He had stayed alive in order to protect Lily's son. But now there was someone else to protect: the dark-haired woman who was sitting opposite him, the woman with those cold green eyes. Dumbledore had done a fine job so far, but the old man knew that his time had come and that he would not be able to safeguard his former student for much longer. Thus, he had given the task to Snape, who had gladly accepted it, not because he had to or felt obligated but because he wanted to. Hope deserved having someone watching over her. But Snape knew that with Dumbledore's death, his life would change too. How he would manage to look after Hope then, he had no idea.
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Latest 25 Reviews for There Will Always Be Hope
64 Reviews | 7.31/10 Average
What a lovely final twist. The way you maintained canon was perfect. The fact that you still manage to give us a happy ending was absolutely brilliant. You're a very talented Author and I wish you the very best on your original works. The story earns a 10+
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I just could not kill him off again. Just. Could. Not. (I'm getting soft, haha.) The Muse is lurking around with a part three to Severus and Hope's story, but we will have to work out some details before I even consider sitting down to write it. Thank you VERY MUCH for reading! I''m thrilled that you ejoy my stories. :)
That was truly heartbreaking. How devastating it must've been for Severus to learn about the elder wand and the dark Lord's need to master it. Reading this discovery as well as his journey leading up to and including his death of the shrieking shack was absolutely heart wrenching.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*hands over hankie*
As I have cried often and long when reading your stories I waited until this one was finished before I read it. The wait has been worth, it is simply a heartbreaking tale, thank you!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I need to stop making people cry. :P The ending of this story was nothing like I had imagined it in the beginning. Actually, both Hope and Severus stopped following the original plot around chapter three. As an author, I sat back and let them play. It is THEIR story, afterall, not mine. I think they did well. Thank you very much for reading and leaving a review. Both are very much appreciated!
When I first began reading this epilogue I wasn't completely clear about where all these students were and why they were there, but then it dawned on me that it was a group from Hogwarts and that they had to be at Hope's pub. But where was Severus? Had she managed to save him or not?
I really like the way the charmed key had brought Severus back to the pub. It was a brilliant bit of magic by a witch who hadn't routinely plied her craft for decades. But the Apparition to St. Mungo's with Severus was even more impressive! I don't know if "doing magic was indeed like riding a broom" or if it was an indication of just how powerful a witch Hope really is, but save him she did, and she erased the memory from the healer who had so skillfully applied the Phoenix tears, the bezoar, and the potions he had found in Severus' robes. Hope is damned good at memory charms, isn't she? She's very clever that way– no one is mortally damaged, and yet her purpose is accomplished.
When she went for her walk down to the lake, I was champing at the bit. Surely Severus would be there... YES!!! When a voice said, ‘Swans mate for life. Did you know that?’ I finally breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath. I have come to associate Hope and Severus with the mated swans so much, and it was especially sweet to see that the lovely birds had their place in this epilogue, too. I sometimes think of Severus as a black swan, so when she looked toward the willow and saw him– "Black clothes, black eyes and black hair streaked with strands of silver"– it seemed perfect to me.
I love knowing that Hope and Severus are together. I love that they can tame each other's demons and wraiths with a gentle touch. And I love that both know that There Will Always Be Hope.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift for story telling with us. I have completely enjoyed this journey together, and "hope" to see more of these two sometime in the future. Likewise, I'm thrilled to know your first novel will soon be out and that you're working on a second one. Go, You!!! Of course I'm interested in finding out more about them, so be on the lookout for a PM from yours truly.
*sending loads of hugs and bouquets*Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, First, I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies for taking so long to reply. The last couple of weeks have been filled with editing and re-writing and sitting at the computer almost felt like a punihsment. I am ever so thankful to be able to count you among my most loyal readers. Your reviews and your willingness to share your thoughts with me have been ever so appreciated. I am quite sure that I will never be able to leave the Harry Potter fandom completely. Also, writing for me is like breathing, and sometimes writing in someone else's universe is easier than creating one of your own, so I am pretty sure I will return to fanfic sooner or later. When I do, Hope and Severus will be high up on my priority list. Their story certaintly isn't finished yet.Once more: many, many thanks for being there through the years! Hope to see you again!
When you told me there would only be two chapters left, I expected something like this, of course. But you write it so emotionally, eloquently and elegantly that it didn't matter the least. I absolutely adore your empathy with your heroes and how you keep the plot focussed on them and yet tell a whole story also on side characters. Even the village came to life before my inner eye.Would love to bestow a dozen or three more stars on your story!Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us and all the best for a career as a pro!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
, Thank you for making it through yet another story with me. Your continued support means the world to me!Hopefully I'll will be able to visit Severus and Hope one day and hope you'll come along. Maybe Hope will make her famous Shepard Pie for us?
Wonderful story! Thank you. I hope your imminent novel is successful
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Thank YOU for reading, for leaving a lovely review and for your best wishes.
Severus' conversation with Dumbledore' portrait and his return to his private study afterwords was heartbreaking. I cannot begin to imagine the soul-withering emptiness that must have claimed him as he sat before his cold hearth and watched the small candle flame in the wooden frame.
Reading his thoughts during his brief meeting with Lucius and Narcissa put tears in my eyes. And when he was finally able to cast his Patronus to guide them to Draco, I latched onto that beautiful Swan with all my mental might. I hope that the symbolism of the Swan, that they mate for life, would mean that Severus might somehow get lucky and find his way back to Hope. But then he was in the Shrieking Shack, and Nagini's attack was swift and vicious.
I hope it was a fortunate happenstance that led him to use his right hand to try to staunch the bleeding so that he found the key in his left pocket. "A spasm went through his body, made him convulse and involuntarily close his hands to fists, and in his left pocket, his fingers closed around a little piece of metal."
Oh, dear god, please let those emerald eyes he saw at the end have been Hope's eyes. Please let the key she had charmed have brought her to him. Please let her save his life. Please, even as Severus falls into nothingness, please let him awake to find himself alive and his love there with him.
Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*hands over hankie and big girl panties and sends Beth to read the epilogue* Come on girl, be brave. You can do it!
When I'd finished reading this chapter I thought back to what Severus had noticed about the preparations Hope had made for the New Year's Eve feast. The simple fact that she couldn't make herself sit down, and the fact that "She had cleaned the tables so thoroughly that the wood shone with polish and had decorated them with white roses and tiny silver stars," spoke volumes about how tense she was. By the end of the chapter it was very clear that she was dreading the moment when Severus would have to leave, worried about him because of the things he'd told her about the light fading, and afraid she would never see him again.
I'm very happy that she used her magic to charm the key to the pub that he always carried with him. I hope she turned it into a Portkey that it will bring him back to her if he should be injured or unable to Apparate on his own.
George tickled me when he started giving Severus the third degree: ‘When are you going to take our darling Hope out for a date?’ Yes, I imagine many of the village folk have noticed a change in our Hope– she smiles when her friend is around.
I totally understood that Severus not staying another night was the right decision, but it broke my heart when he Disapparated. I had read this chapter the day it posted, but I just had to live with it a while to let my feelings sort themselves out. As always you have so entangled my emotions with those of Hope and Severus that at this moment my heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest.
When I came back to this chapter to reread it, I saw that the final chapter and the epilogue had already posted. So I'm going to put my big girl panties on and go find out what happened. Whatever it is, I know I'll love it because the way you write your stories it all makes sense. ~Lots of hugs~Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Oh, this was a tough chapter to write. I really wanted Severus to stay. I really wanted him and Hope to have a sweet night togethe. But nope, no sir, no way Jose. The Muse wouldn't have it. She really kills me at times!
It's good that they have at least addressed their feelings. And I hope her charmed key will somehow be essential in his survival.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*sits back and waits for you to read the two last chapters* :-)
Oh, she's reconnecting with magic and shows an interest in the wizarding world! I guess it will be a while until we know what spell she used on the key. So good for Severus to know there's a place he's welcome to visit any time, even if he cannot risk it. Once again a great chapter!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*sits back and waits for you to read the two last chapters* :-)
My gracious, so much has happened in such a short time. Edmunds' death came as a complete shock! I felt so sad for Hope and for Severus. It seems that how ever long it's been, things will happen that remind each of them of the sorrow, loss, and sadness they've known... separately and together.
Thank goodness they both had gotten a goodnight's sleep the night before because the day would be a difficult one to navigate. Laying Edmunds to rest seemed to open the lid on all those closely held memories for both of them, and I'm amazed that Hope was able to stay strong for all the friends who had come back to the pub to have a drink in his honor. These loving neighbors were people that Edmunds cherished and looked after just as he had looked after Hope.
I completely understand why Hope would want to be alone for a while to gather her thoughts. And even though she had asked Severus to be there when she returned, I became just as worried as Severus when she hadn't come back by ten. When he saw the crack in the ice on the lake my heart jumped to my throat. Whew! I'm very happy she was just standing on the shore looking out over the water.
I wondered what she was thinking when she asked him about what was happening in the Wizarding world, and it made me breathe a sigh of relief that she said she needed to know 'whether or not there is a chance that you will come back to me once you’ve left. I need to know if there is hope.’
‘There will always be hope,’ he said quietly, and for the duration of a heartbeat, he managed to believe it himself.
I think sharing Hope's bed that night lead to a wonderfully redemptive moment that I'm sure scared the pants off Severus when it began... 'How do you know? What did you lose?' By choosing to answer her question, I believe Severus finally allowed a deep festering wound to finally open so it could then heal. Even though it was painful, I think being able to talk about Lily to someone who obviously cares about him and to be able to shed the tears and say 'I loved her more than life itself' was immensely healing. The most beautiful thing about this scene was Hope's response: ‘I know,’ Hope whispered, bringing his hand to her chest and cradling it like a little child. ‘I know you’ve loved. And I pray that you haven’t forgotten how to.’
Thank you for such a lovely, sad, tear-filled, heart rending, and loving chapter!!!
Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, Imagine my surprise when the Muse looked at me with her head tilted to the side and an ever so innocent smile on her face, saying: "We're gonna kill someone today." My Muse is bat-shit crazy, I tell you. Needless to say, the crack in the ice made me wet my pants a little as well. :P They have a lot to work through, Severus and Hope, and none of it will be easy. But they'll manage... I hope. To more chapters and the epilogue to go. All written and beta'd. Should all be posted soon. Thank you, as always, for reading and your lovely words. Have a great weekend.
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Imagine my surprise when the Muse looked at me with her head tilted to the side and an ever so innocent smile on her face, saying: "We're gonna kill someone today."While she may be bat-shit crazy, she clearly takes her job seriously. The proof is in the pudding, m'dear! I'm excited to know the story is complete, but I'm beginning to suffer from separation anxiety myself. I can't find the words to tell you how much I look forward to each new chapter!!! ~hugs you lots~Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I know all about separation anxiety. Spent the whole day yesterday feeling "hung over". The day after finishing a story is always totally weird.
This is a beautiful chapter. I suspect the next time Severus casts his patronus, it will have changed--released to Harry, on some level. And the spoken and unspoken in their discussion about sharing a bed was beautifully done. Except the imperative of the verb lie is "lie down." The past tense is "lay," as you correctly have it in your last sentence ("he lies down," "he lay quietly," and "he has lain still for hours.") The verb is intransitive. "Lay down" is the transitive verb and expects a direct object: "I lay the book down on the table at this moment," "I laid it there yesterday," and "I have laid it there every evening for weeks." The difference is the same as that between sit (intransitive) and set (transitive). Sorry to be pedantic, but from your writing you obviously care about such things, and a slip in this lovely story is unusual and distracting.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Thank you for finding and pointing out my typo. Lie and lay confuse me. Alway have, always will. Which annoys me because if I think about it, it's actually pretty easy to understand. So again, thank you for being "pedantic". And thank you for reading, of course.
I am so damned glad that Severus has never found himself in the land of the of the fairies. I couldn't have borne it. And as painful as it was for him to send his Patronus to call Harry, I'm so glad he was able to call forth his Doe to guide the young wizard to the Sword of Gryffindor. He's going to need it...But the thing in this chapter that totally blew my socks off was the exchange between Severus and Hope. Thank goodness he was able to return to the village because I don't know what would have happened to him if he hadn't. The minute I read the last part of this chapter I realized how much it reminded me of Chapter Nine in His First!!! Except his and Hope's roles were reversed... he was the one whose lips had turned blue, he was the one who was shaking uncontrollably, and he was the one who was afraid that he would freeze to death. When I read this part I was so glad I had read the first story. It is a great feeling when an author ties part of a sequel to something so vitally important as this in the original story. Although there was no love making here in Hope's bedroom, I can't help wondering what the morning will bring. I have no idea what these two will tell you write in the coming chapters, but I guarantee I'll be here waiting with bated breath.Brava! Well done! Here is a lovely bouquet to show you my appreciation for all your hard work, my friend. Ten stars, not even twenty stars would be enough.Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Allow me to give a lovely bouquet to you too. Or how about some nice chocolate? You are spoiling me, dearest Beth. With flowers, your wonderful reviews and rec'ing my stories. Thank you SO MUCH!! Bit speechless right now, really. Chapter 16 should be up withing the next few days, and I just sent chapter 18 off to my beta. Now there is only the epilogue left to write. Need to buy chocolate tomorrow. And tissues. Seperation anxiety, here I come. Smooches!
As much of an interferer as Dumbledore can be, I was delighted that he interfered on Hallowe'en night so that Severus, his colleagues, and the students and ghosts can enjoy the evening without fear of the Carrows wreaking havoc far and wide. I don't know that the Carrows deserved to get a good night's sleep, but everyone else in the castle deserves that they have one... but that's not exactly how the evening turned out for Severus.
I went back to "His First" and reread Chapter 9 (The First He Cried With) so I could refresh my memory about what happened that night, and I have to applaud your gift for so seamlessly merging the two in this chapter of "There Will Always Be Hope." Take a well-deserved bow, m'dear.
When Severus and Hope were talking in the pub everything about her spoke volumes about her frame of mind, but I had no idea of what was about to happen– until she told him to speak to Dumbledore and tell him that she had sent him and that he needed to use the Pensieve, and then I knew what was going to happen.
I'm very sorry that Severus couldn't watch the entire memory, but I damned well understand why he didn't. But if he had, he would have seen something of monumental importance: '... Nadezhda understood. She knew you would blame yourself for what had happened. She knew that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. So she did the only thing she could think of at that moment. She used a Memory Charm on you.’
My heart is breaking for both of them. In the review I left for Chapter 9 in "His First," I said "...it is the passion we feel that gets us through the impossible times. Their passion didn't have to follow this particular path, but in the aftermath, in thinking about what has happened in these last few chapters, it just seems like the right path."
And it still seems like the right path to me. I don't want either of them to needlessly suffer, but I hope that Severus will go back to the village. Tonight. And I hope the fact that Dumbledore smiled after him when he turned and left will mean that he won't go off half-cocked. I hope he remembers what Albus said about Nadezhda understanding and that he will remember that Hope had told him that she was sorry: ‘I am sorry, Severus. Unspeakably sorry. And I’ll understand if you decide to never come back here. But please know that I never meant to hurt you.’ I hope this means that Severus will remember that the underlying meaning of this last thing Hope said to him, at the pub, on this night, is that she will understand if he doesn't come back, but that she hopes with all her heart that he will.
And I'm wondering when Severus will remember that Hope gave birth to a son.
This is one of the best chapters I've ever read. You've answered some questions and posed more. Now that we've reached this point, I'm already trying to guess how the rest of the story will read. What will happen? Will they both survive? Is their son still alive? If so, where is he?
A Thousand Point to your House! Perhaps I should just say "to Our House" since both of us are Slytherins. Thank you for this story! Thank you for hanging in there when I know there might been times when you could have thrown up your hands and walked away... and that would break my heart... so thank you from the bottom of my heart for this amazing gift.
Hugs, Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, sorry you had to wait so long for a response. For being off work, I have been ridicullously busy this week. But hey, I wrote the next chapter which will be posted in a few days, so I'm forgiven, right? ;-) Hm, Dumbledore... You've read a few stories of mine, and you know that I don't like the old man. But he is a good plot device. And he does have his students' best at heart. His means, however... Anyway, while you're on the edge of your seat waiting for the next chapter, I promise you that Severus WILL go back to the pub. I can also tell you that the Muse has decided to NOT follow the original plans for this story and that I am considering to take away some of the warnings I posted in chapter one. Curious yet? Hopeful? ;-) "See" you in a couple of days. /M
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
*fist pump* I am totally curious and filled with hope!!! *big grin*
omg, I didn't expect her to let him know... and just now! Poor Severus!I wonder if she has used the wand by now.Loved also the fine notions like trading chocolate frog cards and feasts. It is a relief that Severus can remember simple habits like these!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
There is no gentle way to roll in a hand grenade, and Snape needed to be told at some point. I figured Haloween was as bad a night as any other. Buckle up for the next chapter. Thanks for reading and leaving a review!
I love the way you described life in the village in the opening paragraph. The townspeople "had no idea, of course, why the fog made them miserable, why it made them feel as if every ounce of happiness had been sucked from their hearts." But Severus and Hope "knew that the fog was the result of Dementors breeding and that the risk of the world plunging into eternal darkness was more imminent than any Muggle could imagine."Hope and Severus have so much in common. Both were treated horribly by their fathers, both of them had had to lie and pretend to be someone else under circumstances that no child should have to endure. It gives me a feeling of comfort knowing that each of them carries with them something that belongs to the other. In his pocket Severus keeps the key Hope pressed into his hand so many months ago. And Hope now has the larch wand that had belonged to Eileen Snape. I like knowing that the key can symbolize "safe haven," and that larch bestows courage and confidence to its owner. In folklore the wearing and burning of larch was said to protect against enchantment and evil spirits. I have a feeling that before everything is said and done both of them will have need of a safe haven and protection against evil. I think Severus' discovery that when Hope lights her comforting candle he can see her and watch over her was one of the most important things to happen in this chapter– other than Hope agreeing to accept the wand.Thank you for another wonderful chapter.*hugs you*Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, I am - as so often before - impressed and honoured by the way you write your reviews. So detalied, so deep. And I love that you understood the larch reference! Well done! 10 points to your house! As you can imagine, there are hard times ahead for Severus and Hope, and they will need each other more than they can imagine. I'm hoping to have a new chapter for you soon. It's my last workday today, so I should have time to write. Yay! Take care and see you soon!
I am so glad Snape was able to change her self image and encouraged her to take back her strenght.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
And strength they will need, both of them! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Just sent chapter 12 off to my beta.
‘If I left you a wand,’ he started, deeming that there was no point in waiting any longer. ‘Would you use it to protect yourself?’When Severus offered her a wand, Hope reacted just like I thought she would. But what truly surprised me was the gentle argument, the purest illustration that he employed to break through Hope's fears. May I just say that was one of the most gifted bits of writing I've ever read. 
You done GOOD, my friend!Thank you for this beautiful chapter. I feel much better about Hope's future in these coming weeks and months. If push comes to shove, I do think she will fight like a tiger. Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear, dear Beth, your words make me blush and smile and believe that there is hope for my writing. Smooches to you! Just sent chapter 12 to my beta, so it should be up soon. Hope you'll enjoy it.
omg, there's a horrid year ahead of them. Your Snape is almost nice, and you've created such a uniqe and loveable own character. Now pulling them through this hell is sheer terror for us as well! Nevertheless, keep going with this excellent story!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*giggles at "Snape is almost nice"* He's about to get a whole lot nicer! Well, not ooey-gooey-nice, but Snape-nice. Bit, scary, I know, almost as scary as the year that lies ahead! Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.
I was afraid this would be what happened when Severus was Summoned. The nightmare has truly resumed, and all I can think about is what's to come:•How can Severus protect Hope and Edmunds while still playing his role as a spy for the Light? •How will they keep Edmunds from finding out that Hope is a witch and that Elisabeth was a Squib?•Will Hope be able to master her fear and depression to be able to aid Severus in his efforts to defeat the Dark?•What will Severus do if and when he finds out that he fathered Hope's child?•What about their son? Is there any chance that he is still alive?There is so much roiling beneath the surface, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story!Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Your review looks almost like my check-list for the next couple of chapters. Great minds think alike, they say. :-) I've answered two questions with no, have ignored one and put a maybe on the others. Haha! Oh, I do wish that my muse would follow the original plot line just once!
I was afraid this would be what happened when Severus was Summoned. The nightmare has truly resumed, and all I can think about is what's to come:•How can Severus protect Hope and Edmunds while still playing his role as a spy for the Light? •How will they keep Edmunds from finding out that Hope is a witch and that Elisabeth was a Squib?•Will Hope be able to master her fear and depression to be able to aid Severus in his efforts to defeat the Dark?•What will Severus do if and when he finds out that he fathered Hope's child?•What about their son? Is there any chance that he is still alive?There is so much roiling beneath the surface, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story!Beth
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Arrrggghhh! 
Please ignore this... I posted it to the wrong chapter.Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
And here I was, thinking that the story had become immensely popular. ;-)
I was so glad that Severus had been able to spend time in the Muggle village with Hope and Edmunds. Being able to feel rested, relaxed and utterly at peace would be a true blessing, one he probably hadn't known in any number of years, if ever. I also believe (with all my heart) that having Severus there was a blessing for Hope, too. Both of them have led such hectic and unpredictable lives that any peace and serenity would be gratefully received as the precious gift it was.When Severus felt himself being Summoned by the Dark Lord, my heart sank. Why couldn't he and Hope and Edmunds have had a little more time to enjoy each other's company. But one thing that stood out clearly was that Hope had felt his summons, too. That tickled some of my memory cells and I just had to go back to His First to recall that Voldemort had given Hope a silver bracelet on her seventeenth birthday... and this bracelet had turned into a silver snake with emerald eyes and had buried its fangs into the flesh at her wrist. It functioned the way Severus' Dark Mark did and she felt the summonds the same time he did. Thank goodness Severus didn't have any dangerous tasks being asked of him by th Dark Lord, and both Lucius and Narcissa should be grateful that he friend was there to help them. Bella is a right nasty piece of work. I hope she ultimately gets her just desserts.Will Severus go back to the village before going back to Hogwarts? I hope so because it would be nice if he and Hope could have a few minutes to be assured that the other hasn't come to any harm. I can't wait to see what happens next!Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I do believe that Hope and Snape are good for each other and that they are able to see things in each other that other people can't see. And I promise that I will give them some more time together. It will not be as carefree as before, but... Well, you'll see. Chapter 10 is posted. :-)
Oh, you're giving Narcissa a bit of spine here, although unwisely displayed. I'm very curious how you lead us through the seventh book!!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I'm quite curious about that, too. The muse hasn't been sticking to the original plot for quite a while. ;-)
I haven't been reading for quite a while and caught up a few chapters right now. This was a most touching and well-written chapter. You've given also the side characters a true story and their own backgrounds in so few words. Amazingly well done.Now I'll read on, although, considering, I should leave the story for a night to give Snape more rest.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Welcome back to reading,
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
!