The Deal
Chapter 3 of 19
morgaine_dulacAfter Snape has been told that Lily’s son has only been kept alive so that he can die at the right moment, he leaves Hogwarts for a little Muggle town where he once spent a happy weekend with his father. Walking down memory lane he finds a shabby little pub, a memory and hope. (Sequel to His First)
ReviewedChapter 3: The Deal
It was a cold night, and despite it being the middle of March, the cold winds blowing in from the North carried with them the smell of snow and ice. Yet Snape still lingered at the edge of the Black Lake, staring into its depths without really being aware of them. Instead, he imagined the icy green water of the lake by the Muggle village. Green like her eyes and just as cold.
He should go back and make sure that she was alright, Snape thought a couple of times but each time shook his head at himself almost before he had finished the thought. Edmunds would take care of her, just as he had for the last fourteen years. There was nothing he could contribute, Snape told himself. And besides, Hope losing her composure that evening was most probably his fault anyway. He could not tell when their conversation had turned sour or which of his questions he shouldn't have asked, but he was quite convinced that the evening would have turned out different if he had held his tongue.
Maybe he shouldn't have returned to the pub in the first place, he thought now. Certainly, upon their first meeting, Hope had invited him back. But had she anticipated what was going to happen? Had she been prepared for a ghost of her past to come barging into her life once more? Had she been prepared for the memories that would awaken? Or had she been taken by surprise, been caught unawares and been scared by what she'd seen, so much that she once more decided to run?
Snape breathed in the cold night air, exhaled and kicked at a stone with frustration. All of a sudden, he was not sure anymore why he had gone back to the pub and wondered if it were for the best if he stayed away from now on. Hope was not the girl he had once known, and the girl he had known Nadezhda was long since gone. There was no room for him in Hope's life, and she certainly had no need of him. If anything, he was a cold reminder of a past she had no desire to be reminded of. He should let it go. He should leave her alone. But when Snape laid himself down to rest in his quarters that night, he could not help but see her eyes in front of him in the dark: cold and desolate but just as precious as the emeralds that filled the Slytherin hourglass in the Entrance Hall.
It shouldn't be like this, Snape mused, once more sitting up, acutely aware that he would not receive the gift of sleep that night. After all those years away from the Wizarding world, Hope should have found peace. She should have been able to leave behind everything she had witnessed, everything she had been through. The suffering, the darkness, the deceit. But for some reason, everything was still there, festering in her heart and soul.
'There is a shadow,' Edmunds had said. 'Something from her past that keeps her from smiling.'
Snape sighed. Maybe running away had not been the right decision after all, he mused. Maybe the very magic Nadezhda had run away from was the reason why Hope didn't know how to smile. Magic was not simply a gift, a tool to employ whenever one had use of it. Magic was part of one's soul, and denying it could have dire consequences. Maybe Hope was lacking the one thing she tried so hard to forget. Maybe she felt it, too, and had therefore invited him back in, him, her old teacher, the one who had once shown her white magic, good magic. Maybe she wanted him to show her again. Just maybe...
With a groan, Snape climbed out of bed, shaking his head at himself. There were too many maybes and too many questions, questions to which he would not find any answers in the confinement of his quarters. The questions might not be his to answer, but he did not care. He had once promised that girl to look out for her and had failed her, a mistake he intended to rectify now no matter how high the cost. He owed her that much at least, and the next morning, he promised himself, he would return to the Muggle village in order to look straight into Hope's green eyes and demand to talk to Nadezhda. For Nadezhda McKibben was the only one who could answer the questions neither of them yet knew how to ask.
~~~
The look on landlord Edmunds' face was one of utter surprise when he unlocked the door of his pub the next morning and caught sight of the dark clad man outside, who seemed to have been waiting for the pub to open for quite some time.
'I do hope you went home to sleep,' he exclaimed. 'Judging by the dark circles under your eyes, I'd say you didn't, though. Where do you live, anyway?'
'Close enough to have made it there for some hours of sleep,' Snape replied.
Edmunds was right, however. He had not slept. Instead he had tried to come up with the right things to say to Hope, the same questions he had prepared so carefully over the last weeks but not had the opportunity to ask the night before. Now he would ask them. Now he would demand answers. But when he entered the pub, he found that Hope wasn't there.
'How is your daughter?' he enquired, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. Why he was even trying to hide his concern, he didn't know. His returning obviously meant that he did care.
'Didn't sleep either, the poor thing,' Edmunds replied. 'She's still upstairs in her room. I'm not sure she'll come at all down today. Coffee?'
Snape nodded.
'Milk and sugar?'
'Black.'
'You'll regret this,' Edmunds warned, and sure enough, Snape winced slightly when he swallowed the first mouthful of the black brew.
'I'm rubbish at making coffee,' Edmunds apologised and pushed the sugar bowl towards Snape. 'Hope's coffee, however, is a gift from heaven. I don't know how she does it, but she seems to have a knack for it. Whoever taught her how to brew deserves a medal.'
I'm sure her old Potions master would be delighted to hear that, Snape thought, hiding a smirk behind his cup and wondering if Slughorn would even remember Nadezhda McKibben. Certainly, the daughter of a simple Ministry employee had not been material for the Slug Club. Most probably, Slughorn had forgotten all about her.
'How is Hope?' he now enquired for the second time that morning, this time intentionally using the name Nadezhda had chosen. He wanted to make sure that Edmunds knew that he was not simply making small talk. He did care about Hope. He cared a lot.
Edmunds put down his cup, leaned back in his chair and gave Snape a scrutinising look.
'You seem to care quite a bit about her considering that you've only met her twice,' he pointed out. 'Are you sure you don't know her?'
'Would it matter?' Snape asked, putting down his cup as well, unblinkingly meeting the landlord's gaze.
'No. I assume it wouldn't,' Edmunds replied and then buried his face in his hands.
'I would give my very soul to see a smile in her eyes,' he continued quietly. 'Just once. God knows she deserves it.'
Then he once more lifted his head, once more looking Snape straight in the eyes.
'Do you know what it takes?' he wondered. 'Do you know how to make her smile?'
'I am afraid I don't,' Snape replied, but to his surprise, the landlord still straightened up.
'You'll try your best, though, won't you?' he asked and Snape nodded. Try was all he could do. But when he climbed the stairs that led to the flat above the pub about half an hour later, he wondered what he had gotten himself into. He was representing everything Nadezhda had fled, the world she had left behind, dark magic as well as light. How would he of all people ever be able to chase her shadows away? Would she even let him try? But despite his doubts, he walked along the corridor at the top of the stairs and knocked on the second door to the right.
No answer.
Snape wasn't even surprised. Edmunds had prepared him, telling him about the days when Hope refused to leave her room, when she turned down both food and drink and would do nothing else than stand by the window for days at a time, blankly staring into nothingness, until lack of sleep and nourishment would make her collapse on the floor.
'I'm scared for her on those days,' Edmunds had told Snape. 'She has never tried to hurt herself, but I can't stop myself from thinking that one day, she will open that window and jump to her death. She has promised me a hundred times that she won't, but it's still my greatest fear.'
Snape swallowed drily. He had no idea what he would find on the other side of the door when he opened it. In the best of cases, Hope was up, getting ready to go downstairs and face the world. In the worst of cases, she had broken the promise she had given to the man who was more of a father to her than Duncan McKibben ever had been. Nobody would ever know her reasons, and Snape would spend the rest of his life wondering whether he and his sudden appearance in her life had been the cause for her breakdown. And once again, a pair of green eyes would come to haunt his darkest dreams.
He pushed open the door ever so carefully, preparing himself for the worst. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could not stop himself from giving a sigh of relief when he saw Hope standing by the window which was firmly closed. She was wearing a dark green dress, and it was hard to tell where her black hair ended and the black shawl around her shoulders started.
'What are you doing here?' she asked as Snape stepped into the room. She had not turned around, and he had to assume that she was seeing his reflection in the window.
'I wanted to make sure that you are alright,' he answered. 'I will leave again if you want me to.'
He'd leave her room, her life, anything she'd ask him to. But to Snape's surprise, her answer was another.
'I'd like you to stay.'
She turned around ever so slowly, feet first, then hips and torso. She seemed reluctant to look at him, and when she finally turned her head, she kept her gaze lowered for quite some time. Snape saw her chest and shoulders rise and heard her take a couple of deep breaths, almost as if she were gathering the strength and courage to look at him. When she finally did look up, he almost wished she hadn't.
She was a pitiful sight. The dark shadows under her eyes clashed violently with her pale cheeks, and together with her red-rimmed eyes, they bore witness of far too many sleepless nights. But there were no traces of dried tears on her cheeks, and Snape wondered if she even knew how to cry.
'Please,' she said almost inaudibly. 'Stay.'
Snape nodded and wordlessly closed the door. Who was he to refuse her? How would he be able to live with himself if he walked away now? Yet so far, he had no idea why Hope wanted him to stay.
He sat down on the chair that she offered him by the vanity table and watched her extinguish a candle on her nightstand, only now realising that the frame behind it contained a painting of a burning candle and not a mirror. He could have sworn that he had seen both candles flicker as he had entered the room, but as one was now extinguished and the other quite still, he figured that he must have been imagining things.
'I have lit a candle every evening for the last fifteen years. It burns through the night and keeps me company. Silly, isn't it? A grown woman being afraid of the dark.'
'Not silly at all,' Snape pointed out, not daring to even start counting the nights when he heard the shadows of the past moving around his bed and didn't dare open his eyes to face them. He knew very well what it meant to be afraid of the dark.
'Some days, I am even afraid of the light,' Hope continued, her eyes still on the extinguished candle. 'In the bright light of day, there is nowhere to hide.'
He heard her take a shuddering breath and saw her bring her hand to her face for a moment, but when she turned to look at him once more, Snape was taken by surprise. She was still pale and her eyes still red, but the look in them was one of determination.
'It's quite easy to walk through the front door of the Leaking Cauldron and step right into Muggle London, you know,' she started. 'After two blocks you're used to the noise and after a couple of hours you have learnt how to avoid getting hit by cars and busses. Another couple of hours and you realise that Muggles aren't all that different from Wizarding folks.'
'If I recall correctly, you did well in Muggle studies,' Snape commented. 'Some of your peers were Muggles. Their world could not have been all new to you.'
Hope nodded.
'Who knew that I would have use for a school subject that earned me more beatings than praise at home,' she said with a slightly bitter tone. 'But I was grateful for my Muggle friends, especially for Charles. I couldn't have made it without him.'
'Charles Herrington?'
Snape frowned, and a miniscule smile tugged at the corners of Hope's mouth as she sat down opposite him on the edge of the bed.
'You never wondered why Charles changed his mind about spending the Christmas holidays at Hogwarts, did you? We very much hoped you wouldn't.'
Snape raised an eyebrow in surprise. Charles Herrington? The stuttering boy who had been so afraid of his Head of House that he had spilled the beans on his best friend on Christmas morning, revealing that she had sneaked out of the castle the night before?
'Mr Herrington never sought my permission to leave the castle that Christmas,' Snape explained. 'It was Headmaster Dumbledore who arranged for him to Floo directly to...'
He broke off and his left eyebrow joined his right.
'...the Leaky Cauldron,' he finished slowly, trying to wrap his mind around the scheme that was unfolding before him.
'It wasn't the best of places to wait for him,' Hope admitted. 'But it was Christmas, and the pub was busy, and a couple of extra Galleons can turn people into blind bats. No one saw me. No one knew I was there. And the name Nadezhda McKibben never made it into the ledger. She had already ceased to exist.'
'So Mr Herrington met you there and...'
'...and took me to his great-aunt's cottage, right there, on the other side of the lake.'
She nodded towards the window, and Snape followed her gaze, even though he knew that he wouldn't be able to see the lake from where he was sitting, never mind the opposite shore.
'He stayed with me until term recommenced, teaching me how to work the lights, the heating and the stove,' Hope recounted.
'What about Mr Herrington's great-aunt?' Snape enquired.
'She had moved to a retirement home half a year earlier,' Hope explained. 'The cottage was to rent but in too bad a state for anyone wanting to live there. But Charles had always been one of Professor McGonagall's best Transfiguration students.'
She didn't take her eyes off the window while she described in detail how Charles had transformed the rundown cottage into a palace for her or how he had put up Muggle Repelling-Charms around the property to ensure that no one would bother her. It was almost as if she were travelling back in time in her mind, back to the cottage where her Charles had taken such good care of her. Her features softened, and Snape imagined how she had been happy there. Hopefully, Charles had been able to magic the smile into her eyes which she now so sorely lacked.
'By the time Charles had to return to Hogwarts, he had taken care of everything,' Hope continued. 'He even made sure that his great-aunt received a monthly payment, so she would believe that someone was renting her cottage. He had thought of everything and had been kinder to me than anyone ever had. And to this day, I am ashamed of what I did to him.'
She bent her head and took a deep breath, and as she looked up at Snape again, he could see tears glittering in her eyes.
'I erased his memory,' she confessed. 'On the last night we spent together, after he had fallen asleep in my arms, I made sure he would never remember Nadezhda McKibben. It broke my heart, but I could not take the risk of him letting slip one day that he knew where she was. She had to disappear for good.'
'You didn't have your wand at the time,' Snape pointed out, but Hope simply shrugged.
'Charles had a wand. I had borrowed it a couple of times during the holidays in order to perform some simple spells on the house. It was obedient enough. And since Charles never returned to the cottage or even went looking for me in the morning, I assume the charm worked. It didn't do any damage, did it?
'None that I have seen,' Snape assured her.
'Good. Good,' Hope whispered, hastily wiping away the tears of relief that were running down her cheeks, and Snape could only imagine how many sleepless nights she had spent, wondering whether she had unintentionally hurt her best friend.
'If I remember correctly, Mr Herrington has become a Healer,' he told her. 'I could make some enquires, if you'd like me to.'
'No! No. No, please, don't. I don't want to... I can't...'
She broke off, covering her mouth with her hands. They were once again shaking, and Snape had the good grace to look away, giving Hope time to regain her composure.
'I do not want to know anything about the Wizarding world,' she said in the end. 'I can't know. I mustn't. Do you understand?'
Snape nodded.
'I do understand, Miss Edmunds,' he said gravely and rose from his chair. 'And because I understand, I will now bid you goodbye.'
'No. Please, don't go,' Hope exclaimed and rose as well, and for the tiniest of moments, Snape thought that she was about to grab his arm. But she stopped in mid-movement, drew back her hand and hid it in the folds of her dress.
'How can you want me to stay?' Snape asked, truly confused. 'I am part of what you left behind. The Wizarding world, magic. I will always remind you of it, no matter how carefully we try to avoid the subject.'
'I never had anything to fear when you were by my side,' Hope replied quietly. 'The magic you showed me is not the one I fled from. And besides, you came to this village for a reason, just as I did. I have no right to ask you to leave.'
Snape swallowed. Upon finding his former student here, he had almost forgotten why he had come to the Muggle village in the first place a fortnight ago. It was a place with no magic, neither dark nor light. It was a place where none of his masters existed, neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort. It was a place where Severus Snape did not exist. Here he was neither spy nor Death Eater. Here he was simply the boy he had once been, grown into a man that no one knew.
'I have no right to ask you to leave,' Hope repeated. 'And when I told you that it had been a pleasure seeing you again, I meant it. I really did. So, please, the next time you come here, let us forget who we once were. Let us forget what we know about each other and where we come from. Let's just be... two acquaintances who share a drink every now and then in a shabby little pub. Do you think we can do this?'
'I do not know, Miss Edmunds,' Snape answered truthfully and looked deeply into her green eyes. 'But I do think we should give it a try.'
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Latest 25 Reviews for There Will Always Be Hope
64 Reviews | 7.31/10 Average
What a lovely final twist. The way you maintained canon was perfect. The fact that you still manage to give us a happy ending was absolutely brilliant. You're a very talented Author and I wish you the very best on your original works. The story earns a 10+
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I just could not kill him off again. Just. Could. Not. (I'm getting soft, haha.) The Muse is lurking around with a part three to Severus and Hope's story, but we will have to work out some details before I even consider sitting down to write it. Thank you VERY MUCH for reading! I''m thrilled that you ejoy my stories. :)
That was truly heartbreaking. How devastating it must've been for Severus to learn about the elder wand and the dark Lord's need to master it. Reading this discovery as well as his journey leading up to and including his death of the shrieking shack was absolutely heart wrenching.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*hands over hankie*
As I have cried often and long when reading your stories I waited until this one was finished before I read it. The wait has been worth, it is simply a heartbreaking tale, thank you!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I need to stop making people cry. :P The ending of this story was nothing like I had imagined it in the beginning. Actually, both Hope and Severus stopped following the original plot around chapter three. As an author, I sat back and let them play. It is THEIR story, afterall, not mine. I think they did well. Thank you very much for reading and leaving a review. Both are very much appreciated!
When I first began reading this epilogue I wasn't completely clear about where all these students were and why they were there, but then it dawned on me that it was a group from Hogwarts and that they had to be at Hope's pub. But where was Severus? Had she managed to save him or not?
I really like the way the charmed key had brought Severus back to the pub. It was a brilliant bit of magic by a witch who hadn't routinely plied her craft for decades. But the Apparition to St. Mungo's with Severus was even more impressive! I don't know if "doing magic was indeed like riding a broom" or if it was an indication of just how powerful a witch Hope really is, but save him she did, and she erased the memory from the healer who had so skillfully applied the Phoenix tears, the bezoar, and the potions he had found in Severus' robes. Hope is damned good at memory charms, isn't she? She's very clever that way– no one is mortally damaged, and yet her purpose is accomplished.
When she went for her walk down to the lake, I was champing at the bit. Surely Severus would be there... YES!!! When a voice said, ‘Swans mate for life. Did you know that?’ I finally breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath. I have come to associate Hope and Severus with the mated swans so much, and it was especially sweet to see that the lovely birds had their place in this epilogue, too. I sometimes think of Severus as a black swan, so when she looked toward the willow and saw him– "Black clothes, black eyes and black hair streaked with strands of silver"– it seemed perfect to me.
I love knowing that Hope and Severus are together. I love that they can tame each other's demons and wraiths with a gentle touch. And I love that both know that There Will Always Be Hope.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift for story telling with us. I have completely enjoyed this journey together, and "hope" to see more of these two sometime in the future. Likewise, I'm thrilled to know your first novel will soon be out and that you're working on a second one. Go, You!!! Of course I'm interested in finding out more about them, so be on the lookout for a PM from yours truly.
*sending loads of hugs and bouquets*Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, First, I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies for taking so long to reply. The last couple of weeks have been filled with editing and re-writing and sitting at the computer almost felt like a punihsment. I am ever so thankful to be able to count you among my most loyal readers. Your reviews and your willingness to share your thoughts with me have been ever so appreciated. I am quite sure that I will never be able to leave the Harry Potter fandom completely. Also, writing for me is like breathing, and sometimes writing in someone else's universe is easier than creating one of your own, so I am pretty sure I will return to fanfic sooner or later. When I do, Hope and Severus will be high up on my priority list. Their story certaintly isn't finished yet.Once more: many, many thanks for being there through the years! Hope to see you again!
When you told me there would only be two chapters left, I expected something like this, of course. But you write it so emotionally, eloquently and elegantly that it didn't matter the least. I absolutely adore your empathy with your heroes and how you keep the plot focussed on them and yet tell a whole story also on side characters. Even the village came to life before my inner eye.Would love to bestow a dozen or three more stars on your story!Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us and all the best for a career as a pro!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
, Thank you for making it through yet another story with me. Your continued support means the world to me!Hopefully I'll will be able to visit Severus and Hope one day and hope you'll come along. Maybe Hope will make her famous Shepard Pie for us?
Wonderful story! Thank you. I hope your imminent novel is successful
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Thank YOU for reading, for leaving a lovely review and for your best wishes.
Severus' conversation with Dumbledore' portrait and his return to his private study afterwords was heartbreaking. I cannot begin to imagine the soul-withering emptiness that must have claimed him as he sat before his cold hearth and watched the small candle flame in the wooden frame.
Reading his thoughts during his brief meeting with Lucius and Narcissa put tears in my eyes. And when he was finally able to cast his Patronus to guide them to Draco, I latched onto that beautiful Swan with all my mental might. I hope that the symbolism of the Swan, that they mate for life, would mean that Severus might somehow get lucky and find his way back to Hope. But then he was in the Shrieking Shack, and Nagini's attack was swift and vicious.
I hope it was a fortunate happenstance that led him to use his right hand to try to staunch the bleeding so that he found the key in his left pocket. "A spasm went through his body, made him convulse and involuntarily close his hands to fists, and in his left pocket, his fingers closed around a little piece of metal."
Oh, dear god, please let those emerald eyes he saw at the end have been Hope's eyes. Please let the key she had charmed have brought her to him. Please let her save his life. Please, even as Severus falls into nothingness, please let him awake to find himself alive and his love there with him.
Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*hands over hankie and big girl panties and sends Beth to read the epilogue* Come on girl, be brave. You can do it!
When I'd finished reading this chapter I thought back to what Severus had noticed about the preparations Hope had made for the New Year's Eve feast. The simple fact that she couldn't make herself sit down, and the fact that "She had cleaned the tables so thoroughly that the wood shone with polish and had decorated them with white roses and tiny silver stars," spoke volumes about how tense she was. By the end of the chapter it was very clear that she was dreading the moment when Severus would have to leave, worried about him because of the things he'd told her about the light fading, and afraid she would never see him again.
I'm very happy that she used her magic to charm the key to the pub that he always carried with him. I hope she turned it into a Portkey that it will bring him back to her if he should be injured or unable to Apparate on his own.
George tickled me when he started giving Severus the third degree: ‘When are you going to take our darling Hope out for a date?’ Yes, I imagine many of the village folk have noticed a change in our Hope– she smiles when her friend is around.
I totally understood that Severus not staying another night was the right decision, but it broke my heart when he Disapparated. I had read this chapter the day it posted, but I just had to live with it a while to let my feelings sort themselves out. As always you have so entangled my emotions with those of Hope and Severus that at this moment my heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest.
When I came back to this chapter to reread it, I saw that the final chapter and the epilogue had already posted. So I'm going to put my big girl panties on and go find out what happened. Whatever it is, I know I'll love it because the way you write your stories it all makes sense. ~Lots of hugs~Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Oh, this was a tough chapter to write. I really wanted Severus to stay. I really wanted him and Hope to have a sweet night togethe. But nope, no sir, no way Jose. The Muse wouldn't have it. She really kills me at times!
It's good that they have at least addressed their feelings. And I hope her charmed key will somehow be essential in his survival.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*sits back and waits for you to read the two last chapters* :-)
Oh, she's reconnecting with magic and shows an interest in the wizarding world! I guess it will be a while until we know what spell she used on the key. So good for Severus to know there's a place he's welcome to visit any time, even if he cannot risk it. Once again a great chapter!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*sits back and waits for you to read the two last chapters* :-)
My gracious, so much has happened in such a short time. Edmunds' death came as a complete shock! I felt so sad for Hope and for Severus. It seems that how ever long it's been, things will happen that remind each of them of the sorrow, loss, and sadness they've known... separately and together.
Thank goodness they both had gotten a goodnight's sleep the night before because the day would be a difficult one to navigate. Laying Edmunds to rest seemed to open the lid on all those closely held memories for both of them, and I'm amazed that Hope was able to stay strong for all the friends who had come back to the pub to have a drink in his honor. These loving neighbors were people that Edmunds cherished and looked after just as he had looked after Hope.
I completely understand why Hope would want to be alone for a while to gather her thoughts. And even though she had asked Severus to be there when she returned, I became just as worried as Severus when she hadn't come back by ten. When he saw the crack in the ice on the lake my heart jumped to my throat. Whew! I'm very happy she was just standing on the shore looking out over the water.
I wondered what she was thinking when she asked him about what was happening in the Wizarding world, and it made me breathe a sigh of relief that she said she needed to know 'whether or not there is a chance that you will come back to me once you’ve left. I need to know if there is hope.’
‘There will always be hope,’ he said quietly, and for the duration of a heartbeat, he managed to believe it himself.
I think sharing Hope's bed that night lead to a wonderfully redemptive moment that I'm sure scared the pants off Severus when it began... 'How do you know? What did you lose?' By choosing to answer her question, I believe Severus finally allowed a deep festering wound to finally open so it could then heal. Even though it was painful, I think being able to talk about Lily to someone who obviously cares about him and to be able to shed the tears and say 'I loved her more than life itself' was immensely healing. The most beautiful thing about this scene was Hope's response: ‘I know,’ Hope whispered, bringing his hand to her chest and cradling it like a little child. ‘I know you’ve loved. And I pray that you haven’t forgotten how to.’
Thank you for such a lovely, sad, tear-filled, heart rending, and loving chapter!!!
Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, Imagine my surprise when the Muse looked at me with her head tilted to the side and an ever so innocent smile on her face, saying: "We're gonna kill someone today." My Muse is bat-shit crazy, I tell you. Needless to say, the crack in the ice made me wet my pants a little as well. :P They have a lot to work through, Severus and Hope, and none of it will be easy. But they'll manage... I hope. To more chapters and the epilogue to go. All written and beta'd. Should all be posted soon. Thank you, as always, for reading and your lovely words. Have a great weekend.
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Imagine my surprise when the Muse looked at me with her head tilted to the side and an ever so innocent smile on her face, saying: "We're gonna kill someone today."While she may be bat-shit crazy, she clearly takes her job seriously. The proof is in the pudding, m'dear! I'm excited to know the story is complete, but I'm beginning to suffer from separation anxiety myself. I can't find the words to tell you how much I look forward to each new chapter!!! ~hugs you lots~Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I know all about separation anxiety. Spent the whole day yesterday feeling "hung over". The day after finishing a story is always totally weird.
This is a beautiful chapter. I suspect the next time Severus casts his patronus, it will have changed--released to Harry, on some level. And the spoken and unspoken in their discussion about sharing a bed was beautifully done. Except the imperative of the verb lie is "lie down." The past tense is "lay," as you correctly have it in your last sentence ("he lies down," "he lay quietly," and "he has lain still for hours.") The verb is intransitive. "Lay down" is the transitive verb and expects a direct object: "I lay the book down on the table at this moment," "I laid it there yesterday," and "I have laid it there every evening for weeks." The difference is the same as that between sit (intransitive) and set (transitive). Sorry to be pedantic, but from your writing you obviously care about such things, and a slip in this lovely story is unusual and distracting.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Thank you for finding and pointing out my typo. Lie and lay confuse me. Alway have, always will. Which annoys me because if I think about it, it's actually pretty easy to understand. So again, thank you for being "pedantic". And thank you for reading, of course.
I am so damned glad that Severus has never found himself in the land of the of the fairies. I couldn't have borne it. And as painful as it was for him to send his Patronus to call Harry, I'm so glad he was able to call forth his Doe to guide the young wizard to the Sword of Gryffindor. He's going to need it...But the thing in this chapter that totally blew my socks off was the exchange between Severus and Hope. Thank goodness he was able to return to the village because I don't know what would have happened to him if he hadn't. The minute I read the last part of this chapter I realized how much it reminded me of Chapter Nine in His First!!! Except his and Hope's roles were reversed... he was the one whose lips had turned blue, he was the one who was shaking uncontrollably, and he was the one who was afraid that he would freeze to death. When I read this part I was so glad I had read the first story. It is a great feeling when an author ties part of a sequel to something so vitally important as this in the original story. Although there was no love making here in Hope's bedroom, I can't help wondering what the morning will bring. I have no idea what these two will tell you write in the coming chapters, but I guarantee I'll be here waiting with bated breath.Brava! Well done! Here is a lovely bouquet to show you my appreciation for all your hard work, my friend. Ten stars, not even twenty stars would be enough.Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Allow me to give a lovely bouquet to you too. Or how about some nice chocolate? You are spoiling me, dearest Beth. With flowers, your wonderful reviews and rec'ing my stories. Thank you SO MUCH!! Bit speechless right now, really. Chapter 16 should be up withing the next few days, and I just sent chapter 18 off to my beta. Now there is only the epilogue left to write. Need to buy chocolate tomorrow. And tissues. Seperation anxiety, here I come. Smooches!
As much of an interferer as Dumbledore can be, I was delighted that he interfered on Hallowe'en night so that Severus, his colleagues, and the students and ghosts can enjoy the evening without fear of the Carrows wreaking havoc far and wide. I don't know that the Carrows deserved to get a good night's sleep, but everyone else in the castle deserves that they have one... but that's not exactly how the evening turned out for Severus.
I went back to "His First" and reread Chapter 9 (The First He Cried With) so I could refresh my memory about what happened that night, and I have to applaud your gift for so seamlessly merging the two in this chapter of "There Will Always Be Hope." Take a well-deserved bow, m'dear.
When Severus and Hope were talking in the pub everything about her spoke volumes about her frame of mind, but I had no idea of what was about to happen– until she told him to speak to Dumbledore and tell him that she had sent him and that he needed to use the Pensieve, and then I knew what was going to happen.
I'm very sorry that Severus couldn't watch the entire memory, but I damned well understand why he didn't. But if he had, he would have seen something of monumental importance: '... Nadezhda understood. She knew you would blame yourself for what had happened. She knew that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. So she did the only thing she could think of at that moment. She used a Memory Charm on you.’
My heart is breaking for both of them. In the review I left for Chapter 9 in "His First," I said "...it is the passion we feel that gets us through the impossible times. Their passion didn't have to follow this particular path, but in the aftermath, in thinking about what has happened in these last few chapters, it just seems like the right path."
And it still seems like the right path to me. I don't want either of them to needlessly suffer, but I hope that Severus will go back to the village. Tonight. And I hope the fact that Dumbledore smiled after him when he turned and left will mean that he won't go off half-cocked. I hope he remembers what Albus said about Nadezhda understanding and that he will remember that Hope had told him that she was sorry: ‘I am sorry, Severus. Unspeakably sorry. And I’ll understand if you decide to never come back here. But please know that I never meant to hurt you.’ I hope this means that Severus will remember that the underlying meaning of this last thing Hope said to him, at the pub, on this night, is that she will understand if he doesn't come back, but that she hopes with all her heart that he will.
And I'm wondering when Severus will remember that Hope gave birth to a son.
This is one of the best chapters I've ever read. You've answered some questions and posed more. Now that we've reached this point, I'm already trying to guess how the rest of the story will read. What will happen? Will they both survive? Is their son still alive? If so, where is he?
A Thousand Point to your House! Perhaps I should just say "to Our House" since both of us are Slytherins. Thank you for this story! Thank you for hanging in there when I know there might been times when you could have thrown up your hands and walked away... and that would break my heart... so thank you from the bottom of my heart for this amazing gift.
Hugs, Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, sorry you had to wait so long for a response. For being off work, I have been ridicullously busy this week. But hey, I wrote the next chapter which will be posted in a few days, so I'm forgiven, right? ;-) Hm, Dumbledore... You've read a few stories of mine, and you know that I don't like the old man. But he is a good plot device. And he does have his students' best at heart. His means, however... Anyway, while you're on the edge of your seat waiting for the next chapter, I promise you that Severus WILL go back to the pub. I can also tell you that the Muse has decided to NOT follow the original plans for this story and that I am considering to take away some of the warnings I posted in chapter one. Curious yet? Hopeful? ;-) "See" you in a couple of days. /M
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
*fist pump* I am totally curious and filled with hope!!! *big grin*
omg, I didn't expect her to let him know... and just now! Poor Severus!I wonder if she has used the wand by now.Loved also the fine notions like trading chocolate frog cards and feasts. It is a relief that Severus can remember simple habits like these!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
There is no gentle way to roll in a hand grenade, and Snape needed to be told at some point. I figured Haloween was as bad a night as any other. Buckle up for the next chapter. Thanks for reading and leaving a review!
I love the way you described life in the village in the opening paragraph. The townspeople "had no idea, of course, why the fog made them miserable, why it made them feel as if every ounce of happiness had been sucked from their hearts." But Severus and Hope "knew that the fog was the result of Dementors breeding and that the risk of the world plunging into eternal darkness was more imminent than any Muggle could imagine."Hope and Severus have so much in common. Both were treated horribly by their fathers, both of them had had to lie and pretend to be someone else under circumstances that no child should have to endure. It gives me a feeling of comfort knowing that each of them carries with them something that belongs to the other. In his pocket Severus keeps the key Hope pressed into his hand so many months ago. And Hope now has the larch wand that had belonged to Eileen Snape. I like knowing that the key can symbolize "safe haven," and that larch bestows courage and confidence to its owner. In folklore the wearing and burning of larch was said to protect against enchantment and evil spirits. I have a feeling that before everything is said and done both of them will have need of a safe haven and protection against evil. I think Severus' discovery that when Hope lights her comforting candle he can see her and watch over her was one of the most important things to happen in this chapter– other than Hope agreeing to accept the wand.Thank you for another wonderful chapter.*hugs you*Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear Beth, I am - as so often before - impressed and honoured by the way you write your reviews. So detalied, so deep. And I love that you understood the larch reference! Well done! 10 points to your house! As you can imagine, there are hard times ahead for Severus and Hope, and they will need each other more than they can imagine. I'm hoping to have a new chapter for you soon. It's my last workday today, so I should have time to write. Yay! Take care and see you soon!
I am so glad Snape was able to change her self image and encouraged her to take back her strenght.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
And strength they will need, both of them! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Just sent chapter 12 off to my beta.
‘If I left you a wand,’ he started, deeming that there was no point in waiting any longer. ‘Would you use it to protect yourself?’When Severus offered her a wand, Hope reacted just like I thought she would. But what truly surprised me was the gentle argument, the purest illustration that he employed to break through Hope's fears. May I just say that was one of the most gifted bits of writing I've ever read. 
You done GOOD, my friend!Thank you for this beautiful chapter. I feel much better about Hope's future in these coming weeks and months. If push comes to shove, I do think she will fight like a tiger. Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Dear, dear Beth, your words make me blush and smile and believe that there is hope for my writing. Smooches to you! Just sent chapter 12 to my beta, so it should be up soon. Hope you'll enjoy it.
omg, there's a horrid year ahead of them. Your Snape is almost nice, and you've created such a uniqe and loveable own character. Now pulling them through this hell is sheer terror for us as well! Nevertheless, keep going with this excellent story!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
*giggles at "Snape is almost nice"* He's about to get a whole lot nicer! Well, not ooey-gooey-nice, but Snape-nice. Bit, scary, I know, almost as scary as the year that lies ahead! Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.
I was afraid this would be what happened when Severus was Summoned. The nightmare has truly resumed, and all I can think about is what's to come:•How can Severus protect Hope and Edmunds while still playing his role as a spy for the Light? •How will they keep Edmunds from finding out that Hope is a witch and that Elisabeth was a Squib?•Will Hope be able to master her fear and depression to be able to aid Severus in his efforts to defeat the Dark?•What will Severus do if and when he finds out that he fathered Hope's child?•What about their son? Is there any chance that he is still alive?There is so much roiling beneath the surface, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story!Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Your review looks almost like my check-list for the next couple of chapters. Great minds think alike, they say. :-) I've answered two questions with no, have ignored one and put a maybe on the others. Haha! Oh, I do wish that my muse would follow the original plot line just once!
I was afraid this would be what happened when Severus was Summoned. The nightmare has truly resumed, and all I can think about is what's to come:•How can Severus protect Hope and Edmunds while still playing his role as a spy for the Light? •How will they keep Edmunds from finding out that Hope is a witch and that Elisabeth was a Squib?•Will Hope be able to master her fear and depression to be able to aid Severus in his efforts to defeat the Dark?•What will Severus do if and when he finds out that he fathered Hope's child?•What about their son? Is there any chance that he is still alive?There is so much roiling beneath the surface, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story!Beth
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Arrrggghhh! 
Please ignore this... I posted it to the wrong chapter.Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
And here I was, thinking that the story had become immensely popular. ;-)
I was so glad that Severus had been able to spend time in the Muggle village with Hope and Edmunds. Being able to feel rested, relaxed and utterly at peace would be a true blessing, one he probably hadn't known in any number of years, if ever. I also believe (with all my heart) that having Severus there was a blessing for Hope, too. Both of them have led such hectic and unpredictable lives that any peace and serenity would be gratefully received as the precious gift it was.When Severus felt himself being Summoned by the Dark Lord, my heart sank. Why couldn't he and Hope and Edmunds have had a little more time to enjoy each other's company. But one thing that stood out clearly was that Hope had felt his summons, too. That tickled some of my memory cells and I just had to go back to His First to recall that Voldemort had given Hope a silver bracelet on her seventeenth birthday... and this bracelet had turned into a silver snake with emerald eyes and had buried its fangs into the flesh at her wrist. It functioned the way Severus' Dark Mark did and she felt the summonds the same time he did. Thank goodness Severus didn't have any dangerous tasks being asked of him by th Dark Lord, and both Lucius and Narcissa should be grateful that he friend was there to help them. Bella is a right nasty piece of work. I hope she ultimately gets her just desserts.Will Severus go back to the village before going back to Hogwarts? I hope so because it would be nice if he and Hope could have a few minutes to be assured that the other hasn't come to any harm. I can't wait to see what happens next!Beth
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I do believe that Hope and Snape are good for each other and that they are able to see things in each other that other people can't see. And I promise that I will give them some more time together. It will not be as carefree as before, but... Well, you'll see. Chapter 10 is posted. :-)
Oh, you're giving Narcissa a bit of spine here, although unwisely displayed. I'm very curious how you lead us through the seventh book!!
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
I'm quite curious about that, too. The muse hasn't been sticking to the original plot for quite a while. ;-)
I haven't been reading for quite a while and caught up a few chapters right now. This was a most touching and well-written chapter. You've given also the side characters a true story and their own backgrounds in so few words. Amazingly well done.Now I'll read on, although, considering, I should leave the story for a night to give Snape more rest.
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
Welcome back to reading,
Response from morgaine_dulac (Author of There Will Always Be Hope)
!