Chapter 1

These characters are the property of JKR

Chapter 1

Hermione smiled and shook hands with her well-wishers, appearing to be every inch the proud graduate – but only she knew how hopeless she felt and how empty the days ahead of her loomed.

Her parents were so pleased when she agreed to the party they had planned for her homecoming from the University of Bulgaria. Now here she was, surrounded by all of her old school friends and many of her old professors, and all she could notice was the one person who was not present.

She stood and pressed Professor McGonagall's hand before moving on to speak with Professor Dumbledore. Professor Flitwick, deep in conversation with Arthur Weasley and Alastor Moody, waved to her from his perch on one of her parents' bar stools. Harry and Ginny were at the table, laughing with Fred and Angelina over a game of cards. George and Charlie were deep in a Quidditch debate with Seamus and Oliver Wood. Katie Bell sat with Parvati and Lavender, shaking their heads over the sports talk. Ron had a possessive hand on Luna Lovegood, who was earnestly speaking to Remus Lupin. Remus caught Hermione's eye and gave her an imperceptible smile. She smiled back, remembering his one-time avowal that she was the cleverest witch of her age. How would her cleverness help her now?

"A Sickle for your thoughts..."

His whimsical tone always touched her heart. Hermione looked up into the twinkling eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

"I imagine a Knut would be more on mark," she demurred.

"It appears that everyone is having a lovely time – except for the guest of honor," Dumbledore mused, his eyes narrowing as he cast a sidelong look at her.

"Oh, Headmaster, I am so happy to see you all!" Hermione protested.

"As we are happy to see you, my dear. An advanced degree in Charms, as well as Potions, from the University of Bulgaria? Graduation with the highest honors? These are accomplishments of which you may be justifiably proud. Why, then, do I sense melancholy?"

"Just ... indecision, sir. I don't know what I want to do now."

"Your next step – yes, let us discuss that, shall we? What are your options?" Dumbledore tilted his teacup to his lips and quirked an inquisitive eyebrow as he took a sip.

Hermione found herself nervously pleating her robe with her fingers. "Durmstrang offered me an assistant teaching position in Potions. Beauxbatons offered me the Charms mistress position for years one through three, and the Ministry of Magic wants to interview me...."

"...and these choices are not satisfactory?" Dumbledore posed his question in a soft, musing voice.

"All of them are wonderful. I never expected to receive so much recognition." She met his gaze then, momentarily amazed at her own good fortune. "Everyone has been so complimentary. I'm certainly not the only person to ever complete a course of study in two subjects!"

The doorbell rang, and they were momentarily distracted, as Neville Longbottom and his very pregnant wife, the former Hannah Abbott, came into the room. Harry jumped up to clap Neville on the shoulder while Ginny and Alicia ran to embrace Hannah and to ask after the baby. Hermione waved to them, hoping her face did not show the sharp disappointment she felt.

"But you have not been congratulated by everyone, have you, Hermione?"

Feeling momentarily naked to his penetrating gaze, she looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but complete understanding. Abruptly, she decided not to lie.

"No, Headmaster, not by everyone." Horrified, she felt tears fill her eyes.

Surreptitiously, Dumbledore slipped her a snowy handkerchief from the pocket of his midnight blue robes.

"He is a difficult man, my dear. Are you certain there is not another future you would rather pursue?"

Hermione used the handkerchief to blot the damnable tears, careful not to smear her make-up. "I'm not certain that I have any choice in the matter, sir. He doesn't respond to my owls, and he's not here. He has no interest in my future. Obviously."

Dumbledore regarded her for a moment, then said, "Desirable results are worthy of careful planning and hard work; haven't you always found that to be true?"

Hermione bit her lip and looked away. They stood together in silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Hermione ached as she watched Harry pull Ginny into his lap and place his hands on her belly where their baby grew. Ron led Luna over to the card table, and Hannah Longbottom smiled as she looked at Luna's engagement ring. Hermione knew that Ron had spent his entire first month's paycheck after Auror training on the moonstone ring on Luna's finger. Their wedding was set for Christmas. She was happy, so very happy, for all of the ones she loved.

But she felt so left out, so outside of their happiness.

Dumbledore touched her shoulder, and she looked up at him, only to find his gaze on Minerva McGonagall, who was now looking at baby pictures with Molly Weasley.

Minerva said, "Molly, the baby looks just like Fleur, only with Bill's hair!" And both of the ladies laughed, watching the red-haired baby girl in the moving photo wave her fists.

Hermione heard Dumbledore say softly, "Do not walk away from love, my dear. It is a rare bird and does not wait forever to be captured and adored. If you walk away from love, it may not be there when you return for it."

At that very moment, Minerva looked up at them and nodded a silent agreement. Molly, distracted from the pictures of her granddaughter, smiled at Hermione. "How is that nice Viktor Krum, dear?"

Hermione wished her final guests farewell, hugging and kissing Ron and Harry last of all. She knew they were puzzled at her reticence, but she didn't know how to explain her feelings to them. Thankfully, her parents had already gone to bed. Now she would have some blessed peace and silence. Slipping her shoes off, she curled up on the sofa, where she was soon joined by Crookshanks, and the minutes ticked by as she stroked his ginger fur and considered Dumbledore's offer. It was time to plot her next move. She had served through one war, for the good of all wizard-kind. Now she would wage her own war, for her heart's desire.

Hermione was nothing if not determined.

Hermione Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts and took a moment to get her bearings. The castle rose before her in the early summer dusk, and the beauty of it brought a lump to her throat. So much of her life, the best part of her life, had taken place behind those ancient walls. With her suitcase in one hand and Crookshanks' carrier in the other, she began to walk up the long drive. She heard a loud popping noise behind her, followed by a clatter and some muted cursing. Hermione pivoted and laughed with delight when she saw her old friend, Nymphadora Tonks, sprawled over a bright pink knapsack.

"I am such a klutz!" Tonks fumed, scrambling to her feet.

"You are perfectly Tonks-like!" Hermione said, and she put her luggage on the ground to hug her smaller friend. "I'm so glad to see you! When did you get back from Greenland?"

Tonks gaped at her. "Greenland? Who told you I was in.... no, let me guess..."

And together, the girls said, "Mad-Eye Moody!"

When Tonks finished laughing her hearty laugh, she said, "I was in Wales! For an investigation! Mad-Eye thinks there are plots everywhere. If anyone ever needed a nice Draught of Peace, he's the one."

Seeing Hermione's slight wince at the mention of a potion, Tonks picked up her rucksack and grabbed Crookshanks' carrier in her other hand.

"How are you? I'm sorry I missed the big welcome home party. Was everyone there? Did Ron make a big prat of himself?"

Relieved at the turn of conversation, Hermione picked up her suitcase and began to stroll up to the castle with Tonks.

"Ron is engaged to Luna Lovegood."

Tonks cocked her head to one side. "How do you feel about that?"

Hermione smiled. "Luna is the best person in the world for Ron. They never, ever fight, and she can calm him down and shut him up with one look. It's amazing."

"I didn't think he would ever get over you and Viktor. He was demented on the subject, the last time I saw him." Tonks shook her head in amazement. "What a mouth!"

Hermione grinned at her. "He's almost serene, now, Tonks. He and Luna are deeply in love. Ron never loved me; he just thought he owned me. I was the only female in his orbit that he wasn't related to." With a shrug, she added, "If it hadn't been for Luna, Ron would never have made it through Auror training. Harry and Ginny really believed he was going to bomb out of training, until they dragged him off to a party at Neville and Hannah Longbottom's house. Luna was at the party; she and Ron have been inseparable since that night. Luna always fancied Ron, in her own way. I really hope they'll be happy."

"Well, everybody knows I have the devil's own luck with the blokes," Tonks said mournfully. "I thought that Minerva had asked me to visit because she had some new professor to fix me up with." Tonks' brave little smile was painful to see. "But since you're here, maybe she's just having a pajama party!"

Hermione shook her head as she and Tonks gave the Whomping Willow a wide berth. "I'm here to help organize the Education Symposium. So maybe there is a mystery bloke." She giggled at Tonks' comical face. "You must be imagining things, Tonks. You are little and cute and funny – lots of men fancy you." She thought to herself, I know one who does, for certain!

Tonks stopped for a moment and lay a hand on Hermione's arm. "What happened with Viktor, Hermione? We all thought...."

Hermione smiled softly. "Viktor asked me to stay, Tonks. He wants to marry me. I just couldn't do it. I don't love Viktor that way."

Tonks shook her head. "You don't love Viktor, you don't love Ron – all of these perfectly cool men want you, and you won't have them. What's up with that?"

Hermione shrugged and began to walk again.

Tonks stubbornly stood her ground. "Hermione, I'm remembering a conversation we had when you were just sixteen years old..."

Hermione doggedly continued toward the castle. "I don't know what you're talking about, Tonks," she said over her shoulder.

"...when you and Ginny were telling me your deep, dark love secrets..."

"I'm sure I don't remember a thing about it," she said, not looking back, walking faster.

"...and you said you had a crush on..."

"TONKS!"

Hermione whirled around, her face flushed a bright pink, to see Tonks laughing so hard she had to put down the cat carrier and her knapsack and lean over to catch her breath. Crookshanks, fed up with the slow progress to the castle, put a knowing paw through the bars and released the catch on the carrier so he could scamper off and stretch his legs.

Hermione stormed back to where Tonks was laughing and said in a lowered voice, "Please do NOT embarrass me, Tonks. That was silly school girl stuff. We're all grown up, now."

She had a moment of impatience, waiting for Tonks to promise to behave. Then Tonks's eyes grew wide in comical alarm, and Hermione felt the thrill run down her spine as a soft, sinister voice said, "I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear it."

Turning quickly, Hermione found Severus Snape standing right behind her. His trademark sneer was firmly in place, and his black, heavily lidded eyes bore an expression of benign boredom. Her hungry gaze consumed the inky black hair, now threaded with silver, his pale skin, the hawkish nose, and his unrelieved black attire.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, she said, "G-good evening, Professor Snape."

Snape inclined his head slightly, his eyes never leaving her face, and he said, "Miss Granger."

"Wotcher, Severus?" Tonks said, giving Snape a lopsided grin.

Still watching Hermione's face, Snape said, "Hello, Tonks."

Hermione found herself speechless and immobilized by the strength of his steady regard. She heard Tonks babbling on about how Crookshanks had escaped his carrier and asking after Snape's plans for the summer holiday, and still his black eyes bored into her own soft brown ones. She was unable to think, unable to speak, unable to move, so mesmerized was she by him.

Tonks was winding down to an embarrassed silence and Hermione was trying desperately to break her gaze away from Snape, when a very cheerful, "So, you found them, Severus! Welcome, ladies!" startled her into looking away from him, up the path, to Remus Lupin.

"Remus!" Tonks cried and ran to hug him. "You look smashing!"

"Nymphadora, my dear, you are looking quite wonderful yourself," Lupin replied in a perfectly serious tone. Giving her shoulder a final squeeze, he put her to one side and walked over to take Hermione's hand.

"Welcome, Hermione," he said, smiling down at her. Hermione found herself inspecting him more closely than she had at her parents' home the week before and was pleased to see that she agreed with Tonks' estimation of his condition. His color was good, his eyes were clear, and his robes were new and well-made. Save for the graying of his sandy hair and a few old scars, he looked better and younger than she had ever seen him.

Before she could answer Lupin, Snape spoke again, so close to her ear that she could feel her hair stir with his breath as he said, "Did you hear what he called her? And she didn't scream, protest, or hex him."

Tonks laughed out loud, as did Lupin. Hermione turned a fraction of an inch toward the velvet voice and found Snape's intent stare still focused on her face but with -- could it be? -- the ghost of a smile on his lips.

She felt herself flush to the roots of her hair and was very thankful for Lupin's gentle grip, which helped her remember where she was. She squeezed his hand and said, "You are looking remarkably well, Remus. I'm so glad."

A youthful grin broke across Lupin's face. "You girls need to stop with the compliments; I think I'm going to blush."

He bent over and retrieved the cat carrier and Hermione's suitcase and began to lead the way to the castle. "Minerva sent Severus out to find you two before dark; we're dining in her quarters this evening, and she told me we are not to be late!"

Tonks linked her arm through Lupin's and began to chat with him about their mutual friends in the Order as they headed for the castle entrance. Before Hermione could take a step in that direction, Snape moved into her path, standing very close to her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the power of his presence, then, with a determined lift of her proud chin, said, "We mustn't keep Minerva waiting."

In a voice full of soft menace, he replied, "But, Miss Granger -- anticipation is a dangerous elixir, is it not?"

Steeling herself to look straight into his eyes, she said, "Only if the anticipated event materializes, Professor Snape. Otherwise, pointless waiting is a tease, and a bore."

As she moved around him, hoping for a majestic sweep to the castle doors, she heard his amused, "Ten points to Gryffindor, Miss Granger," and she knew she was woefully out of her league.