Hahahaha, oh my goodness. This was just hilarious. The perfect thing to cheer me up! Lovely job! Xx

A really funny story.  I especially loved the plushie.

A really funny story.  I especially loved the plushie.

(Chuckling)(A/N: You missed describing her gold halter dress, five inch heels and any spare priceless jewelry.) Thank you. Your story kick-started my day. JF

what a nice bit of crack to start the day with :)

That, that, that was almost painful to read.  A sort of Escheresque blend of Dr. Seuss meets Little Red Riding Hood meets a train wreck.  I think you successfully followed the rules.  I guess that's saying something.  I usually say 'thank you' at this point but instead I think I'll go find the brain bleach...

LOL I should say you definitely got #2 used to a very full extent. What a hilariously OOC little fic. I especially loved the commentary in the story. LOL Thanks for putting a smile on my face with something so wonderfully farsical.

I'm laughing and cringing at the same time! I've probably used every one of these cliches at one time or another - and not in parody!  But there were a couple of moments that made me laugh out loud too much!“I don’t care that her hips sway invitingly when she comes to class,” he hissed to himself as he lay in his big, four-poster bed with black velvet curtains and monogrammed black satin sheets (A/N: Squee!!).   Your squee aside made me giggle too much for comfort.~~~~ “Why?” she asked haughtily. “Because I can give detentions to students without serious justification whenever I want to – it’s in my job description,” he sneered, brushing hanks of black hair out of his eyes.~~~~~~Well  after all, he is a self-centered bastard! Thank you for the giggle!

I liked it very much, but it was also a little embarrassing. Fanfic is my guilty pleasure; reading your fic made me remember what's "guilty" about it! Oh, well, life is short. Thanks for the laugh!

I think you've done your job packing in fanfic cliches, lol.  And a happy ending, too!

Too many good lines to mention, but THIS tops the lot. "Because I can give detentions to students without serious justification whenever I want to – it’s in my job description,”I want that job description!  No, I'm not a teacher, but I'm sure I can make it work! :)

Is it wrong to adore this for it's utter tropey-ness? A perfect send up!

Hahaha!  That's too cute!Thanks for making me smile this morning.  :)

I notice you remembered to follow the rule that descriptions of Hermione Sue’s hair and/or eyes always must involve food or alcoholic beverages: chocolate or cinnamon or honey or cognac, and now molasses. I notice it’s always sweet food. We never read of her eyes being the color of warm roast beef gravy and her hair like a stream of dark ale. And absolutely never brown.