Eight: I Cover My Ears, I Close My Eyes...
Chapter 9 of 39
TeddyRadiatorYou don't know what a chance is until you have to seize one; you don't know what a man is until you have to please one.
Anti-Litigation Charm: None of the characters belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling, who let my entire reason for reading the Harry Potter series bleed to death on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. I'm building a better world.
For Sempra and Mimi and TalesofSnape, all of whom make me a better writer
You don't know what a chance is, until you have to seize one; you don't know what a man is until you have to please one,
Don't put your life in the hands of a man with a face for every season, don't waste your time in the arms of a man who's no stranger to treason...
Hermione looked from Harry to Dumbledore, shock choking utterance. She glanced at Professor Snape, who was literally about to explode. He hissed, "How DARE you accuse me of such a thing, Potter?"
Enraged, he took a step towards Harry, until Professor Dumbledore thundered, "Severus, NO!"
Panting, Professor Snape froze in place and looked at his employer, his expression incredulous. "Don't tell me you actually believe this... this whelp?"
"Stop it, all of you!" Hermione shouted, terrified for her professor, frightened for Harry. "Please, listen to me!"
The three males in the room froze and turned to her. She shook her head. "Harry, I don't know what Sirius told you, but he's lying! Professor Snape was protecting me from him!"
Harry was adamant. "No! Hermione, he's cast Imperio on you, or something! Sirius told me he saw Professor Snape " Harry looked at the Potions master with all the disgust he could muster. "Sirius saw him undressing you! He said you were trying to make him stop but he was too strong!"
To Severus' surprise, Hermione laughed. "Harry, if I was being Imperused, why would I be fighting him?" Her laughter died, and her anger and indignation rose in its place. "SIRIUS IS LYING, HARRY!"
Harry shook his head, confident of his words. "I don't believe you! He's got you Confounded, then!"
Severus pounded his hand against the table in frustration. "Merlin's sake, Potter, clean the rubbish from your ears! The girl's trying to tell you something and you're not listening!"
"Shut UP, Snape!" Harry shouted in retaliation, "I've seen how you look at her when you think no one's watching "
"And have you seen your perfect godfather slobbering over her as well, boy?" Professor Snape roared, and the two squared off, with Hermione between them.
"You dirty pervert! I'll kill you if you've hurt my friend!" Harry screamed, near tears, and drew his wand. He was no match for a full grown wizard like Severus, and Hermione cried for the two of them to stop.
"Stop this NOW!" Dumbledore's magically enhanced voice shook and reverberated through the study, and the three of them whirled to see the older wizard standing, his eyes blazing, his magic swirling around them. "I will not have you fighting in this school! Calm yourselves, all of you! I will hear each of you, in turn, and I will have quiet from the other two if I have to place a Silencing Charm on you."
Harry, Hermione and Professor Snape stood still, resentment and antipathy emanating from the two younger men. Hermione looked between them, frightened for them both. Harry was angry, and when his temper got the best of him he could be unpredictable. Professor Snape, on the other hand, was a master duelist, a spy and a Death Eater, and a dangerous wizard in the calmest of times. His black eyes were flashing fire now, and Hermione realised she'd been holding her breath, waiting for the hexing to begin.
Dumbledore waited until the three of them quieted somewhat, and said, "Harry, it is a very serious allegation to accuse a Hogwarts teacher of an impropriety with a student. I would like for you to start at the beginning. Harry, would you please tell Miss Granger and Professor Snape what you told me earlier?"
Somewhat mollified, Harry gave Hermione a furtive glance, and began, "When Ron and I reached the Shrieking Shack, Sirius was there and he was very agitated. He asked me if I had seen Hermione and Professor Snape, and I told him that Ron and I had passed them on our way." He glanced at Professor Snape.
"I told him they both seemed angry about something, and Sirius said, 'Well, I know why Severus is angry! He didn't get to finish what he started. I walked in here and caught him with his hand down Hermione's knickers."
"That is not true!" Hermione cried, and Dumbledore held out his hand.
"You will have an opportunity to speak, Miss Granger. Go ahead, Harry."
Looking more uncomfortable, Harry said, "Sirius said he confronted Professor Snape, and Snape said "
"Professor Snape, please, Harry."
"Sorry, sir. Professor Snape said he was going to to..." Harry's face turned bright red, and he stumbled through the words, "Pophermionescherry."
Professor Snape made a sound of profound disgust. "Really, Mr. Potter? Do I look like the type of wizard who would say something so grossly crude about a student? Especially," he flicked a rather disdainful glance toward Hermione, "Miss Granger?" He looked so disgusted, that for a moment, Hermione felt a bit offended.
"Severus, please," said the headmaster, holding up a hand to silence him. "I have stated I will hear both sides of the story, and I must ask you to cease until Harry has explained his side."
Suddenly, white hot anger coursed through Hermione. Over a week ago, she and Professor Snape had spent an hour trying to convince Professor Dumbledore that Sirius was acting inappropriately toward her. The Headmaster knew this was all shite. Why was he humouring Harry, instead of telling him the truth?
Hermione stepped up to Harry. "Harry, I'm only going to say this once, and you had better listen."
"Miss Granger "
She whirled on him, and Severus remembered just how intimidating the little witch could be when angered. "No! Professor Dumbledore, you know the truth, yet you are acting as if Professor Snape and I have been lying all along, and I won't put up with this anymore!"
Hermione, furious, turned to Harry. "Harry, the reason Sirius said that to you is because HE is the one who has attempted to molest me! Professor Snape has been protecting me!
"I am not Imperused, and I'm not Confounded, as Professor Dumbledore can no doubt attest. Sirius was bragging to Professor Snape that he could convince you that he was the one telling the truth, and it looks like he was right!"
Hermione turned to Professor Snape. "I'm sorry you've been dragged into this entire sordid mess, Professor Snape. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would come to this!"
"Indeed, Miss Granger," Severus said, rather enjoying himself. Intimidating, yes; alluring, most definitely. It was almost entertaining to watch her, providing her anger wasn't directed at him.
He turned to the son of his old enemy. "Think, Potter! Why would I wish to engage Miss Granger, AND in a place where she knew Black would be?" He curled his lip. "I have dozens of secret places in this castle at my disposal. Why would I attempt to molest a student in a public place, knowing that Black was expected there any moment?"
"You know why," Harry retorted, his eyes narrowed. "Sirius embarrassed you all those years ago and you wanted to show him - "
"Harry, ENOUGH!" Hermione said. She began to weep. "How could you think such a thing about a professor about me? I'm one of your best friends, and you'd rather believe Sirius than me? Harry, Sirius is the one lying to you. He's the one I'm afraid to be alone with!"
Harry paused. The raw honesty in her voice was unmistakable; as he had stated before, he knew her too well. He saw the body language between Snape and Hermione, and he realised not only did she not appear afraid of him, but that she was obviously neither Confounded nor Imperused. For the first time, his conviction faltered.
"Hermione, why would Sirius tell such a lie?" His shoulders dropped, and Severus smiled inwardly. The silly young fool was starting to see sense, no matter how much it troubled him.
"Because he knows how hard it is for you to believe anything good about Professor Snape! And yet, it's so easy to believe the only the best about Sirius! They don't like each other, and both of them use every opportunity to discredit the other!"
Harry looked at Severus coolly. "But why would Sirius lie to me? He has nothing to prove to me! And why were you there, anyway, Professor? No one knew Sirius would be there except " Harry stuttered to a halt, and looked over at Hermione.
"You told Snape "
"Professor Snape, Harry! He's our teacher!"
Harry almost snarled at Severus. "PROFESSOR Snape, then, that Sirius was coming to meet us? Why would you do that?"
"Because I didn't want to be alone in the same room with Sirius!" she all but screamed into the room. "I was going to confront Sirius and tell him to leave me alone, and I asked Professor Snape to come with me because he is the only one who believed me he was there in Grimmauld Place - he saw Sirius try to -" She buried her face in her hands in humiliation and cried, and Severus knew that if Sirius Black were in this room, he would kill him right now.
As he unwillingly found himself longing to hold and comfort her, Severus' palm suddenly grew warm, and a slight stinging sensation grew out of the invisible line Hermione had cut in his palm. His blood oath was calling to him. Hermione also looked down at her palm, and began to rub it absently with her thumb. She felt it, too.
Severus reluctantly turned away. "This is enough, Headmaster! Can't you see the girl is obviously distressed?" He turned to Potter, his voice venomous. "You disgust me, Potter. You accuse your best friend of lying, you hurt and degrade her in front of the Headmaster and myself, you insult me, and all you can do is berate the girl for being brave enough to tell you the truth." He gestured to Hermione, who was blotting her face with the handkerchief he had given her a lifetime ago. "This is why she wouldn't tell you she knew you wouldn't be intelligent enough to believe her!"
"I think that will do, Professor Snape," Dumbledore interjected, and both Hermione and Severus looked at him in shock. Ignoring them, the Headmaster turned to Harry and placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder.
"Harry, Sirius is not here to defend himself "
Hermione felt her blood run cold. The Headmaster continued, "But Miss Granger is quite adamant, and so is Professor Snape, that these allegations are unfounded. I think possibly Sirius saw the two of them conversing, and came to an incorrect conclusion."
Hermione shook her head in wonderment. She risked a glance at her professor, who stood like a statue, anger and resentment radiating from him.
"I'll question Sirius myself, but until then, I expect this matter to go no further than these walls. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," Harry said, his tone respectful, and he looked pleased that his concerns had been validated. Professor Snape gave the Headmaster a swift nod in reply. Hermione merely looked at the old man, her expression carefully neutral.
Severus glanced at her approvingly. She had dried her tears; she had not challenged Dumbledore further. She had, in fact, done rather much the same thing as he. She had erased all emotions from her face, and was waiting until she was given leave to go.
"Good," Dumbledore said, pleasantly, as if the subject had been dropped. "Harry, why don't you and Hermione run along? I'd like you to stay for a moment, Professor."
Harry left immediately, and Hermione turned to follow. She gave her professor a quick glance, and he returned it. To anyone else, their glance would have looked indifferent, accidental. But it was a look of approval, and Hermione accepted it as such.
After the young man and woman had departed, Albus turned to his Potions master. "Severus?"
He merely turned and looked at the Headmaster, an eyebrow raised in query.
Albus was unhappy. "If there is any truth at all to what Sirius said, I will find out. This is not the time to be distracted by something so insubstantial and fickle as physical desire. Especially for a student."
Severus remained still, then turned and looked at Dumbledore. He regarded the old man for several moments, his expression thoughtful and pensive.
Finally, Severus spoke. "I seem to recall that just under a month ago, I came to you, begging for help, because of what I revealed to the Dark Lord while under torture. I told you then that the girl was repulsed by me, that it would never work. And, what was it you said? Oh yes, 'you must find hidden depths with which to change that. Allow her to get to know you'."
His smile was wolfish. "Well, I have, Albus. She's gotten to know me very well in the last few days, and we like what we've discovered. I'd say we've come to a very mutually beneficial arrangement, thanks in part to your advice, and I'm disinclined to change that right now.
"It's been a long time since I gave you my life for ransom, Albus." Severus' smiled faded. "I was a foolish boy then, and I've been given no chance to grow up into anything other than a foolish man. I've reneged, but so did you, old man. I gave you the best years of my life in servitude here at this damned school. I made you a vow, to protect your precious Harry Potter, and I have kept my end of the pact very well."
Severus' eyes blazed with resentment and fury. "When the Dark Lord returned, I sat in my office and cried with pain from the Mark FOR DAYS. All because you wanted me to wait before I presented myself to him. You told me it would show him my loyalty to you, so that I could be a better spy. Do you remember what you said? 'Think of it as a way to atone, Severus'. Well, I've atoned. I'm absolved.
"You made promises to keep Lily safe, and you failed. You have polished my guilt every day since, and forced me to live a life which has been unmitigated hell every moment of every day, as your indentured slave." Severus leaned over, his face arrogant and cruel. "But you forgot that time passed, Albus, and Lily's memory has returned to its proper place. You can no longer bully or extort me into spying for you. I do it now because I choose to, and I will cease to do it when I so choose. You have no further power over me beyond what I sanction to myself."
Severus stood to his full height, and looked at his Headmaster. "And I will tell you this, old man. If you try to do anything, say anything, cause anything that will turn her against me, I'll leave. If your actions bring harm to one mad curl on her head, I'll take her, and we'll go so far underground neither you nor the Dark Lord will ever find us. We. Will. Disappear." His voice trailed into a hissing whisper, venomous and deadly.
He gestured to his forearm. "This can be removed. Now, I have told you what I will do. Now, this is what you will do. You will let us move forward in our plans to work together, and you will call Potter and Weasley AND Black off the girl. I've never performed the Killing Curse, but I would for her."
Severus glared at the Headmaster. "Miss Granger and I are working together now, on how to defeat the Dark Lord, and keep Potter alive long enough to do it. We are not lovers, but we will be. I'm not your toy for the Greater Good anymore, Albus. I'll help you, as long as it is gainful for me to do so."
Severus leaned over the older man. In a voice so liquidly wanton, it almost made the Headmaster shiver, Severus purred, "And if I wish to fuck her on the Head Table of the Great Hall, you'll allow it. You'll give me everything I need to continue this despicable job. And though it all, you will leave me, leave us, alone."
He turned to leave. "Do we have an understanding, Headmaster? You have your spy, you have your precious Potter, and I'll have a reason to live after this thrice-damned war is over. Do we have an accord?"
Dumbledore sagged for a moment, looking every one of his hundred and fifty-plus years. "Yes, Severus. Yes, damn you. We do."
Once Harry and Hermione descended the steps from the Headmaster's office, he turned to face his friend. "Hermione, I don't know what to think, or believe." His troubled eyes met hers, and Hermione reluctantly felt sorry for her friend.
"Harry, I am telling the truth. Ever since last summer, Sirius has been harassing me every time we went to Grimmauld Place."
Harry shook his head disbelievingly. "Why would he do that?" At her rather stunned expression, Harry hastily added, "I don't mean, why would he find you attractive! I mean," he hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Why would he, you know, if he knew you didn't feel the same?"
Hermione sighed. "From what I know of him, Sirius was a bit of a player in school. I think he still thinks of himself as one." She smiled ruefully. "I don't think he likes rejection much."
"But why wouldn't you tell me?"
Hermione took pity on him. "Harry, I just felt it would be one more negative thing in your life right now. With all that's going on, between Dumbledore ignoring you, Umbridge torturing you, the Prophet vilifying you..." Hermione looked at her friend sadly. "I thought I could handle it on my own. But I couldn't. And then, one day at Grimmauld Place, Professor Snape arrived and saw Sirius..." Hermione's voice trailed off, too tired and embarrassed to continue.
Harry watched her worriedly. "And Snape really, well, sort of saved you?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's Professor Snape, Harry and yes! Think, Harry! He's always tried to protect us. I know you don't like him, and I sort of understand it all, but think about all the times when we were in trouble! Professor Snape was there, trying to make sure we were guarded!"
Seeing Harry's face still clouded with doubt, Hermione huffed. "Professor Snape isn't the enemy, Harry! He may not be the nicest man on earth, but he isn't the enemy. Sirius is playing you for a fool."
She gave Harry an impulsive little hug. "You know in your heart I'm right, Harry. If Professor Snape is guilty of anything, it's goading Sirius into making up this lie. Sirius hates Professor Snape, but you don't have to. We need him. We need to trust him."
Harry shook his head. "I'm never going to trust him, Hermione. You just want to see the good in everyone too much." Reluctantly, he added, "I'm going to see Sirius during Easter holidays. I'll talk to him then."
Harry walked away, leaving Hermione to her thoughts. "It didn't do any good."
Hermione whirled around, and saw her professor leaning against the wall, almost insolently. "Your little speech, no matter how persuasive, won't help. Potter and I will go on despising each other."
Hermione nodded. "I wish it could be different." She shrugged. "If the Headmaster had shown any support to you, it might have been. I don't understand him, either."
Severus frowned. "He's angry at me for daring to hope." His voice softened. "He's convinced you are a bad influence on me."
Hermione felt her heart flutter at his softly enunciated words. How was it possible for a voice to breathe so many insinuations into so few words? She looked up at Severus with a little knowing smile. "I'll try to be on my best behaviour, sir."
He nodded sagely. "See that you do, Miss Granger." He unfolded his arms and pushed himself from the wall. "I'll walk you back to your Common Room."
As they walked, they spoke briefly of the conversation with Dumbledore. Hermione's eyes widened as he told her of his ultimatum to the Headmaster. "But, Professor "
He stopped and turned to her. For a moment, he seemed to wage a brief battle with himself. "I'm your professor in the classroom, and in the company of others." He glanced around briefly, and took her hand. "I am Severus to you." He said the words with a faint scowl, as if not entirely pleased by it.
"This, whatever it is, between us..." His finely shaped brows knitted together. He glanced up at her through his curtain of dark hair. "I am a possessive man, Hermione. If you pledge yourself to me, I take it seriously."
She looked up at him, her scowl matching his. "You should. I made it in all seriousness."
"I consider that you belong to me now." Again, a faint anger in his voice, as if he expected a challenge.
Hermione smiled. "You're missing the point, Severus."
"And that is?"
Hermione hesitated a moment, gathering her thoughts. "I've considered that I belonged to you the moment I found you on the floor in Grimmauld Place. I knew then you were worth protecting. You were worth fighting for. And since no one else was there to do it, I could fill that space without having to worry about competing with anyone else for the position." She gave him a wry smile. "Then I could boss you around to my heart's content."
If she hoped he would smile, or react in any other way opposite to his dour nature, she would have been disappointed. Instead, he nodded. Then, he did something that surprised her, after all.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, then pressed it against his cheek. His skin was cool, like fine marble, and he closed his eyes for a moment, as if savouring the feel of her flesh against his own.
"Tomorrow, we begin Occlumency lessons. Seven o'clock, my study."
"Of course," Hermione replied, her voice quavering a little. His large hand enveloped hers, and she gave his cheek a little stroking caress with her fingertips.
His reply was to turn his face and press his lips against her palm. He opened his eyes, and glanced sideways at her face. His warm mouth parted, and he touched the tip of his tongue to her palm, causing a jolt of electricity to race down into her loins, and her breathing quickened. When he saw the dark heat in her expression, the obvious arousal in her eyes, he smirked, and tilted his head, almost flirtatiously.
"So, not entirely the 'boss' of this relationship, hmm?" he purred, his voice rumbling against her hand. When she swallowed with an audible clicking noise, he chuckled darkly, and lowered her hand to her side. He smirked inwardly to see her tremble, knowing he was the cause.
Hermione looked down at her palm. She could see the faintest trace of moisture in the centre, from his warm, mischievous tongue. It triggered a memory. "Tonight, in the Headmaster's study "
"I know. I felt it, too."
Hermione looked at her palm again. While there was no visible mark to commemorate the Blood Oath they'd taken, she'd felt a sting of sensation there. "Was it because we both felt the other was being threatened?"
He pondered. "Perhaps. Blood oaths are magical, and when they are made in earnest, can often warn the oath bearer of peril."
Hermione considered. "I could see where that could be advantageous."
He shook his head. She really could be such an infant sometimes. "Why do you think I made it in the first place, child?"
Before she could answer, he looked down at her, and his eyes flickered briefly over her lush, parted mouth, and he shook his head. "That does it. Off to bed with you, then. There's a good lass," he said, nodding toward the hall leading to Gryffindor Tower. "Goodnight, Hermione."
She watched him walk away, hoping he would turn around, but, rather perversely, told herself he wouldn't, and, of course, he didn't. It just wouldn't have been a very 'Professor Snape' thing to do.
She paused. Severus. He was Professor Snape in the school, in public, to the world. He was Severus in her heart.
In the weeks following their long talk, she and Severus had drawn closer, and each day she spent with him taught her more about him to admire, to love and care for. He was still Severus Snape, however; companionship had not changed his tendency to pout, or lose patience, or grumble about the tiniest of things, or to exhibit fits of temper.
Hermione learned to deal with him, and she found that, when all was said and done, dealing with Severus Snape was not all that different from dealing with every boy she'd ever met. He could be ridiculously stubborn and bloody minded, and completely inflexible.
At times it was so tempting to hex the bollocks off the man who was presently berating her for cutting her daisy roots in three-eights inch pieces instead of seven-sixteenths inches. Especially when the same wizard had kissed her into insensibility for almost two solid hours the night before.
It was sometimes all Hermione could do not to walk up behind him after class and magically bind him to his chair and force him to make love to her. She rather thought she would, if she stood a chance of success. When it came to iron control, Severus Snape was a solid rock. And she would know, having felt it against her hip as he kissed her into a swooning state of desire on a nightly basis.
The Sunday they began Occlumency lessons went absurdly better than Hermione had hoped. In reality, she had approached it with pants-wetting dread. Harry had told them all horror stories of Professor Snape's ruthless rape of his mind over and over, while taunting him to concentrate and control his emotions.
Hermione thought Severus might be going rather easy on her, because the first thing he did was to give her a Mind-Clarifying Potion, which helped her to concentrate better. "I'm only going to do this the first time, but it should give you an idea of how to accomplish the skill on your own."
As he walked away from her, he spoke, "I've used Legilimency on you before, and you recognised it, but the Dark Lord is very skilled. He can slip into your mind unawares. We'll be practicing both types of... penetration."
In spite of herself, Hermione blushed. He turned and stood for a few moments, allowing the potion to work, biting back laughter at her flushed face. Allowing his voice to drop in timbre, he asked quietly, "How do you feel?
Telling herself that he was deliberately distracting her, Hermione concentrated hard. Finally, she said, "Like everything makes perfect sense in my head." She smiled. "It's as if everything is compartmentalized, and I can put every thought in its proper place."
He nodded, pleased. "Good. Now, I'm going to Legilimize you. Try very hard to block me away. I don't expect you to succeed the first, or even the second time." His mouth twitched. "However, by the third time, you should understand what is happening enough to block me."
He had been right, of course. She picked herself off the floor after the first attempt, with a bleeding nose and shaking from head to toe. He had been determined, but not too rough with her, and even as she dragged herself to her feet and he siphoned the blood from her face, she was thinking about how she might be able to block him.
The second time was no better or worse, but when he withdrew, she thought she might be having either an aneurism, or an epiphany. "Do it again! I want to try something!"
Severus regarded her for a moment, then shook his head. "I think twice is quite enough for one night, Hermione."
"Please? I think I have it really! If I don't, I promise I'll stop."
He sighed. "Very well. Legilimens!"
He strode into her mind, and she pictured him walking down a hall, with an infinite number of doors. Each time he tried to enter a door, she shut it firmly in his face. She could feel his surprise, and he turned immediately to the next door, but she managed to shut it as well. He sped up, and she could feel him pushing harder, moving from door to door with increasing speed. It became more difficult to concentrate on each door. Sometimes he would pretend to rush to one, only to dash through another.
For almost ten minutes, she was able to keep him out, but he finally managed to sneak through a door she'd left unprotected, and once he was there, her defenses weakened, and all the doors quietly unlocked themselves.
She wobbled, feeling all her strength draining from her body, even as her professor caught her in his arms. When her head cleared, she was astonished to find herself sitting in his lap, her head tucked against his shoulder, his arm around her waist. He was casually reading a book, and when she stirred, he put the book aside and faced her, frowning.
"Finally! I thought I was going to have to Rennervate you." He sounded irritated, but Hermione could hear the fear underneath. He had been afraid for her. She sat up, and a brief wave of dizziness passed over her quickly.
"Did I do it?" When he lowered his eyes and tilted his head, she grew excited. "I did, didn't I?"
He smirked. "You did, indeed." He grew serious. "But your method isn't very efficient, and as you discovered, can easily falter. You exhausted yourself trying to keep your 'doors' closed, but I could increase my pace in reaching each new one. But I will concede, it was an impressive start. Now, up you get." He patted her thigh. "My left leg is numb."
They discussed various ways to improve her performance, and Hermione left with the thrill of not only being able to prevent Severus from Legilimizing her, but the lovely feeling of nestling in the crook of his arm, sitting on his lap.
The second time she was able to block his invasion completely, she experienced a very different reaction from him. Flushed with success, she impulsively threw her arms around Severus' neck and gave him a massive hug. Almost the moment she did, she regretted it. She could feel his entire body stiffen; she could almost hear disapproval in his very breathing.
His hands, which had been locked by his sides, rose slowly, uncertainly, and lightly pressed against her waist. For a moment, she thought he would push her away, but she held on. She looked up into his unreadable dark eyes. There was a faint line between his silky brows, and Hermione steeled herself for rejection.
Gently, she said, "Severus, it's called a hug. People who fancy each other do it. It's a sign of affection." She drew back so she could see his face, but he was stubbornly avoiding eye contact. With an apologetic smile, she added, "It's usually reciprocated by the one fancied."
He looked at her strangely, and drew very still. Then his large hand pressed against the back of her head, and he plunged into her mouth in a devastating, demanding kiss. The world stopped turning, and Hermione felt the saddle between her thighs swell and pulse with each heartbeat. Her knees buckled; had he not been holding her in a sudden iron grip, she would have fallen.
His lips were warm and soft and hungry, and fit against hers perfectly, and when his tongue begged entrance and she opened herself to him, he gasped and swooped down on her with a startlingly deep, loud moan, like a man enjoying the most delectable dessert, and to Hermione, that was exactly what he was as well.
Hermione had been kissed before, but never like this. No one had ever made her body ache and shiver and burn like this. She was trembling as he teased her mouth with his tongue, and as she responded with a soft sweep of her own tongue against his, she realised he was trembling, too. Her hands were sliding though his silky hair, and when he cupped her bottom in his hands and pressed her against him, she whimpered into his mouth, and she felt his erection pulse against her pelvis.
They were clutching each other, mouths open, tongues battling, each drinking the moans from the other, twisting, trying to plumb every depth of each other. It was as if her entire being, heart and mind and body and soul were in her mouth, being licked and nipped and pleasured by Severus Snape.
Her nipples were rock hard; she was sure he could feel them through her robes, and he smelled divine, like new mown grass, and parchment and soap. He tasted like wine, and she understood now why books called desire a hunger. She bit at his lower lip, and he growled and thrust his hips against hers, his arms sliding over her body like ropes to bind her heart, and Hermione never wanted him to stop.
Slowly, he gradually eased the intensity of his kiss, until their lips parted with a soft, sucking pout, and Hermione almost cried out at the loss of his warm mouth, his soft fragrant breath. He was as breathless and flushed as she, and Severus closed his eyes and drew her against him. She could hear his strong, steady heart pounding in harmony with hers. His velvety voice slid over her like the most sensuous of garments. "I think that is enough reciprocation, lass. I'm a man before I'm a wizard, and you, witch, are a lennan si, if one ever existed."
Hermione was running, running down the hall, fear giving her feet the same wings as when she had spotted Severus and thought he was a Death Eater come to attack the school. She knew this outcome would be different, and she knew he was going to be furious if she survived.
Her heart was almost bursting, and she could still hear the wizard behind her, gaining ground. She almost sobbed, feeling terror and stupidity washing over her, tainting her sweat with a bitter, caustic edge, and she knew he would sense it, and use it against her.
She was so close to escaping, but, as before, her fear was making her panic, and she wasn't thinking straight...
Title and quote is from the song Telling Me Lies from the amazing Trio Album. Words by Dolly Parton
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Latest 25 Reviews for Lay Me Low
269 Reviews | 6.9/10 Average
This story is just as delightful the second time through *happy sigh*
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
BLESS YOU!
Oh, my. He wants so much to be the author of this tale, but his past still rides him like a dark rodeo cowboy. And Hermione steps up and steps in. I love the way this story is developing. It has depth, Teddy. Just lovely.
Frightening, Severus offering up seduction of Hermione to the Dark Lord as a distraction. But Hermione's caring for him is sweet, her musings on him surprisingly mature--and the comforter he tucked her in with before he left says more than all his unpleasant utterances.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you - this was a rough chapter to write, and misunderstood by more than a few. I'm always happy I can count on you to interpret my motives in the way I do myself <3
Oh, this representation of Sirius makes my blood run cold. He could have been such a predator--I can see it very clearly.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
How thrilling to see you here reading this! I will say that this story is a slow burn (at 39 chapters it should be LOL) and that this story truly was my teacher. It taught me to write, so you can (hopefully) see the progression!
What a heartbreaking and lovely story you gave Regulus. Thank you.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you. I have a real fondness for poor Reg; I was glad to get to include him in this story.
Okay, that was brilliantly done.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you! I have to credit Stgulik, my beta for this almost completely. I wrote a completely different chapter; she wrote back and said, "You can do better than this."
Response from Phyllidia (Reviewer)
Sounds like I need someone like Stgulik in my everyday life!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
I am blessed every single day that Stgulik is in my life <3
After the way Severus left Hermione, in the state she was in, I could easily imagine him coming home to find that she had committed suicide.Rough chapter. Going on to the next. Sure there is a ray of sunshine to poke between the clouds at some point.Great story.
Response from Phyllidia (Reviewer)
Coming back to say now that I've read the next chapter, I can see that Hermione is not in a state that would lead her to suicide simply because she was void of emotion as opposed to depressed.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you - sometimes writing the Muse's directions isn't as easy as others, and this was one of them.
Oh my. That was unexpected. Ooooh. First Harry then, and now Harry really won't. Oh my. Cannot seem to write a proper sentence after that.Brilliant.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you! ;)
Dumbledore is a bastard. Just saying.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
I know. I think he is sometimes, too.
Blood tipped the ends of his hair, like quills dipped in red ink.Pure poetry right there.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you!
Good thing this is finished or that would have been a heck of a cliffie!Enjoying!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you! I'm really glad you are.
That last bit, I sort of thought he might feel that way. Not that I can blame him. Or disagre.Lovely story (in case I haven't said so earlier).
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you for all your lovely comments!
his voice rolled through the room like incense in churchOooh what a great line.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you - I am a voice slut.
Response from Phyllidia (Reviewer)
Me too. And an eye slut. Eyes, sigh.
Interesting. Very interesting. Plans are afoot!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
They are indeed!
I am assuming this chapter was a bit of a pleasure to write, at least the parts where Hermione lays into Albus. Something I think we all wanted to do after reading about this in the books.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
I enjoyed writing a lot of this, that's for sure! Sometimes I think I wrote the best of myself into this fic, and don't have anything left.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
:)
His entire countenance seemed to mock Severus, as if he were saying, "I share Hermione's bed every night; where do you hang your trousers, wizard?" “Jammy bastard,” Severus muttered, as the feline haughtily strutted past him.I loved this 'conversation' between Crooks and Severus.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you! I am human (and staff) to three cats myself, so I know these conversations well.
I almost shouted for joy when she told Harry about Sirius. YAY! I didn't think that would happen. Thank you.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
I'm so glad you are enjoying the story, and I really appreciate all your lovely comments.
Wow. What a chapter. Snape did quite a round-up on Dolohov. Too bad he didn't get to add Sirius to the mix.Well done.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you!
I'm sorry that Sirius died as he did in Canon. After his actions, he needed to live. And suffer. Sadly I feel that Hermione won't tell Harry what happened.Loved the bit about the saliva in the potion. Brilliant.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying the story!
Glad Hermione put her foot down with Severus.And shame on Sirius and Dumbles for manipulating Harry like that. Hasn't he lost enough?Well done.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you!
What Poppy told Severus about letting Hermione teach him and him teaching her in return was some very good advice. Each of them has a lot experience to share with the other, and I think Severus will make a wonderful father when he grows up. LOL! That cracked me up.
It's good that the memorial service and most of the business of settling her parents' estate is taken care of because I think Hermione needs some time to decompress and get used to the way things are today. Thank goodness she has Severus, and now he is right next door.
Hermione has so much to come to terms with: the loss of her parents, the scar she received from Dolohov, trying to figure out how to help Harry without wanting to choke the living hell out of him. Severus will be her rock, and being able to work with Poppy during the summer hols will be good therapy for her!
I adored the slow buildup to love making. It is as gentle as a soft breeze that caresses your skin on a spring night under the moonlight. And tonight she wants her wizard to show her the difference that only he can show her. (And I'm all for that.)
What a lovely chapter! Thank you, Teddy.
Beth
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you so much, Beffey! There were a lot of chapters here I really enjoyed writing, and this was one of them.
I hope it was worth it to Harry to come to the infirmary to talk to Hermione about how bad Snape is and how much he misses his effing' godfather. I'm glad he heard the truth from Hermione about both of them... I wouldn't have blamed Severus one bit if he'd hexed Harry... but that would havey only created more trouble for Severus.
YAY! for Time-Turners! Now Hermione is of legal age in the Muggle and Wizarding worlds. Does that mean what I hope it means?
Having to go to her parents home was a completely sad, but completely necessary thing. That visit was also one of my favorite parts of this chapter: “You know, you are a beautiful man, Severus Snape.” She placed her tiny hands on either side of his face. “I think you are most beautiful man I’ve ever known.”
Beth
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you sweetie. You keep me going. And right now, I need that.
"He pondered his own possible death, and found the idea much less palatable than it had been at the same time the year before." This clearly shows the difference that having someone in his life "who loves him just as he is" has made in Severus' life. How hard it must have been to put one foot in front of the other to answer the Dark Lord's summons knowing he might never survive.
After all was said and done, Severus had exacted a fitting retribution from Antonin Dolohov for all of the carnage he had caused– on this night and on previous occasions. It wasn't enough to have tried to kill Hermione herself, Dolohov had to make doubly certain that were she to survive, there would be nothing left of her Muggle family. I know Severus went a bit overboard with his vengeance, but if anyone deserved this death on this night it was Antonin Dolohov.
"Dumbledore patted his shoulder again. His touch was fatherly, and Severus unwillingly felt the tug of concern from the old man." You are such a talented writer, Teddy. Your description of Severus' meeting with Dumbledore just outside the infirmary almost made me think a kindly thought about the old man.
Poppy's supportive defense of Severus and Hermione to Minerva was well played (very-close-to-the-vest) and I trust that she has convinced her friend not to get her knickers in a twist over what she has seen... and surmised. Not only are Severus and Hermione the best for each other, they are the best hope the Light has of defeating the Dark.
Beth
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of Lay Me Low)
Thank you, Beth. I hope my characters act logically, and it always seemed to me that, if Severus did suffer from Voldemort's wrath from time to time, he would have to go to Poppy for help. She's nobody's fool, and I think they would get along well.