Insight from Harry

Two weeks later, Hermione sat in a café waiting for her best friend. She spotted him as he entered.

"Hermione!" Harry greeted his friend with excitement.

"Harry, I've missed you. How are Ginny and the children?"

"They're good. James' magic is starting to manifest. It's exciting to see, but I think he's driving Ginny a little mad with his mischief. He has a bad habit of hiding Albus' toys and then saying it was an accident."

Hermione laughed, "He always has been a handful. How is Albus handling that?"

"You know Albus, always pensive. He asked Ginny to ward his room."

"Seriously, at four, he understands what wards are?"

"I know. It's really not fun to realize your four-year-old is smarter than you are."

"Oh, Harry, knock it off. And I assume Lily is doing well, too?"

"Yeah, she's talking more and more."

"And undoubtedly continues to wrap you around her finger. Does Ginny like her new job?"

"Yes, though she misses playing. This job will keep her close to the sport without having to travel as much. But, enough about me; how have you been, Hermione? I understand you caused a bit of a stir with Percy a few weeks ago."

"Percy doesn't see past the end of his own nose. He thought bringing the Malfoys down would further his career. It is my job to make sure that the Wizengamot looks at the whole picture." She continued more quietly, "Did you know about Severus?"

Harry nodded cautiously. "I found out he survived when I took over the department about three years ago. I sent him an owl asking to meet. Ironically, it was not long after Albus Severus was born. He politely declined."

"He values his privacy, Harry. Being seen with you, even now, would cause a stir."

"I doubt that's the real reason, Hermione. But he is entitled to see who he wishes to see. I'm probably a reminder of many bad memories. I have to ask, what's this with calling him Severus? You usually refer to your clients by their proper titles." Harry's face was questioning.

"I call Draco and Lyra by their first names as well." Hermione was clearly defensive.

Harry was shocked at her reaction. He filed that information away for later. "Yeah, that was a shock to read about Lyra Malfoy. I guess every family has their secrets. I hope she didn't suffer too much at the hands of her parents."

"Harry, I have to be careful here. These are my clients, and many of our conversations are confidential. I will share that Lyra is very much loved, and her family did their best with her. It wasn't like your aunt and uncle. Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were certainly ill prepared for Lyra, and I won't deny that they made mistakes. But they didn't shun her or mistreat her; in fact, they worked very hard to protect her."

"Well, that's good to hear. So, you've made peace with the ferret?"

"Yes, Harry. He actually apologized to me. I've decided that I've held a grudge for too long regarding the actions of a spoiled adolescent. Astoria is my friend. If she says he's changed, that's enough to start over."

"Well, Draco and I will never be best friends, but he does seem different. How is Snape? Is he still as grumpy as ever?"

Hermione smiled dreamily. "No, he's really not. He's still snarky and sarcastic, but it's not mean-spirited anymore. He's protective of Lyra and Draco, and you should see him with Scorpius. It was actually a little hard to believe the first time I saw them together."

"Merlin, Hermione," Harry said to Hermione, agog. "You fancy him, don't you?"

"Harry! He's a client. Don't be absurd. Just because I can recognize that his personality is different doesn't mean I'm in love with the man." She clapped her hand over her mouth. She'd said far more than Harry had implied.

"Does he know?"

She shook her head fiercely. Hermione was a little surprised at the emotion that was taking over her voice. She was working very hard to keep herself calm. "He's involved with Lyra Malfoy. She denies it, but it's clear that he cares for her. You should see this woman, Harry. I remember thinking that Narcissa was striking when we were kids. Well, add in Lucius' commanding presence, and you've got Lyra. Draco is a good looking man, but Lyra is just ridiculous. I feel like a troll in her company."

"Hermione, don't do that. You know you are an attractive woman. Men notice you. They may not trip over themselves, but that's because you scare them senseless. But someone like Severus isn't going to scare easily. If you care for him, talk to him. Don't make assumptions. If he's not with her, there's a reason."

"She thinks her parents won't approve."

"That doesn't make sense, Hermione. Severus is Lucius' oldest friend."

"I don't know, maybe it's the half-blood thing. Maybe she's just wrong, but I heard her say that to Draco. Draco told her to stop turning him down before he moved on."

"Draco said that Severus had approached her and she turned him down?"

"Basically."

"Well, if she turned him down..."

"Harry, I don't want to be a consolation prize."

"Hermione, stop it. Really, stop it. He pined after my mother for what, twenty years? This isn't a man who seeks a rebound. I know you well enough to know you aren't going to throw yourself at him, but if you fancy him and you think he has feelings for you, don't be a martyr. Either they are together, or they aren't. Find out, and stop torturing yourself."

"You aren't horrified that I have feelings for him?"

"Let's see. You're both smart, wicked sarcastic, hardworking and fiercely loyal. I think you could do worse. Now, that being said, I do NOT want to hear anything about your physical attraction to him; that's just beyond strange." He shuddered, and Hermione giggled. He continued earnestly, "But you deserve to be happy, and so does he."

"Your reaction to the 'physical' was exactly the same as Draco's. Although he was talking about his sister, not about me, so that may have been a factor too." Hermione couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh, shit. I sound like the ferret. Seriously, Hermione, just don't limit yourself. I haven't seen you this reactive about a man in a long time. Really, I haven't seen that light in your face since before Viktor died in the explosion."

"Harry, don't be silly."

"No, Hermione, I mean it. It was cruel that you lost Viktor. You deserve someone that makes you light up like that again."

"But Oliver and I..."

"No, Hermione. I know you and Oliver were good for each other, but it wasn't like what I'm seeing here."

Hermione looked insulted at his comment.

"It's okay, Hermione, it really is. He lost Katie; you lost Viktor. You were both just trying to survive."

Hermione winced. It hurt to think about losing Viktor, even now. But what she really resented was the implication that she had somehow used Oliver. "That's not true, Harry. I cared for Oliver."

"Of course you did. And he cared for you. You didn't do anything wrong. But you turned down his proposal for a reason, Hermione. You were together five years. And when you decided not to get married, you just went your separate ways. That's not the way love works, Hermione. It's not that tidy when it ends. You know it as well as anyone."

She frowned. She hadn't really considered how easy her break-up had been with Oliver. She thought it was because it had been a mutual decision, but Harry had a point. How many couples break up after that length of time without someone being devastated?

"I do hope he's happy now."

"He is, Hermione. Ginny is still in touch with him. He's met someone."

Hermione smiled at his words.

"Ginny has met her. She's a Muggle, and Oliver seems completely enamored with her." Harry searched her face for any sign that this news pained her. He was pleased to see nothing but joy in her face for her former lover. "You deserve the same, Hermione."

"Harry, I know you mean well, but I really don't want to get in the middle of whatever is going on with Severus and Lyra. Time will tell if they are going to be a couple or not. I don't need to create drama."

"Hermione, just make sure you are basing your actions on facts and not impressions."

She nodded and changed the subject. Harry was happy to talk more about the children.

*********************

Two days later, she entered the lab and greeted Severus brightly, "What are you working on today?"

"Well, I'm trying to develop an improvement to Blood-Replenishing Potion. But it isn't going well."

"Ah, I'm sorry. Do you have time for some questions regarding the case?"

"Yes. Let me get this cleaned up."

Hermione nodded.

"You can go ahead and ask your questions."

"I'm just going over the list of products you've developed for Muggles that haven't been marketed broadly. Can we go over why?"

"Of course, but I'm not sure why it would be relevant."

"Severus, we want to show that your decisions of which products to market were well thought out. It may be helpful to show which ones didn't make the cut. So let's go over them:

"Formula 4 – Pain relief potion; preliminary tests show it was incredibly effective."

"It was too effective. Patients reported that it worked 'like magic'. We decided that was a danger all its own. That was actually the problem with several of the formulas. We found we were more successful treating ailments that manifested themselves slowly. People tend to question it less when a medication helps them over the course of weeks or months."

"Formula 8 – Prevention of premature births; this was also very effective."

"We haven't ruled that one out yet. The first test subjects are approximately five years old. I have concerns that this medication may inadvertently increase the incidence of Muggle-born witches or wizards. In the wrong hands, that could be dangerous. When the Muggle children born as part of the clinical trials hit ten or eleven, we'll be able to see if there's any uptick in magical births."

"Interesting, but it is used on witches."

"Correct. We are less concerned about reducing Squib births than we are about increasing magical births among unsuspecting Muggle families. That seems to be a risk of exposure."

"Formula 12 – Another pain relief potion."

"It was proven to be mildly addictive in Muggles. Testing was terminated, and the subjects were assisted in breaking any habits that may have formed."

"There are two or three others that have been distributed to Wizarding hospitals, but with the express purpose that they can be used on Muggles. Can you explain that to me?"

"Those are for trauma situations. If a Muggle is involved in a magical mishap, they are occasionally taken to St. Mungo's. Those patients are hit with an Obliviate anyway, so risk of exposure is eliminated that way. We aren't comfortable with Muggle doctors administering these medications, but the Healers understand the issues. There are several Muggle hospitals internationally that have Wizarding wings. We supply the Wizarding hospital with medications like Formula 4. They occasionally consult on Muggle cases, so they are well equipped."

"That seems like a reasonable compromise. Under a Healer's supervision, that is perfectly legal. Why not do that with all of the products?"

"Volume, Hermione. We want to help the most people with the products that we feel are truly safe. So, rather than have them administered to a handful of Muggles by Healers, we have made them available through Muggle channels and have jumped through the Muggle hoops. The ones that are more concerning on an exposure basis are restricted to Healers."

"Yet another protection against exposure. Excellent, Severus." Hermione's stomach chose that moment to growl.

Severus looked at her questioningly.

"I was distracted and skipped lunch."

"I actually haven't eaten either. Would you like me to have one of the elves bring something to eat? I need some air. We could eat on the patio. Today's work has been frustrating."

Severus motioned to the doors that led out to the gardens. There was a small garden table just beyond the doors.

"That would be nice. Today has been a bit maddening for me as well."

"Coco," Severus called out. Coco appeared immediately. Severus asked for sandwiches to be brought to the patio. Coco disappeared with a pop. "Shall we?" Severus voice betrayed nothing, but he felt oddly nervous. It was perfectly normal for him to have lunch with Hermione while they were working, but for some reason, it felt a bit like he was asking her for more.

She smiled modestly and followed him out onto the patio. "I don't think I've ever seen the gardens," Hermione stated, clearly impressed by her surroundings. "Astoria and I generally visit away from the Manor, given my history here."

"They have made a number of changes to the house since the war. Astoria has turned the drawing room, which holds so many painful memories for everyone, into an art studio. She doesn't have any negative associations with it, so she paints in there frequently. Recently, Draco has started to venture back in to it. Truthfully, it's completely unrecognizable."

"Good. It's nice to see people move forward. Sometimes it's easy to get trapped in the past."

Severus narrowed his eyes. Hermione gasped at the look on the face of her former professor. It seemed that her comment had reignited his former ire.

"Do be careful, Miss Granger." His voice was cold and hard.

"Severus, I hope you don't think I was insinuating anything about you." She reached out and touched his hand involuntarily. "It's a problem I have experienced. Harry brought it to my attention a few days ago."

Severus hadn't pulled his hand back. He was looking at her intently. His expression had softened, but she could tell he was waiting for an explanation.

"I lost someone very dear to me, someone on whom I had pinned all of my hopes and dreams of the future. Viktor Krum and I rekindled our romance after Ron and I parted. We were engaged when he was killed."

Severus' eyes grew wider. "Hermione, I had no idea. I heard about Krum's death, but I didn't know you were involved with him."

She wiped her eyes. "We kept it out of the media deliberately. But at any rate, please don't think I was attacking you."

"I am sorry for jumping to that conclusion. And I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. I apologize for bringing up such a heavy topic."

"Hermione, don't. I am curious why Harry brought this up to you now."

Hermione looked at Severus, terrified. She wanted to sink into the floor. She did not want to tell him that she'd been discussing her attraction to him with Harry. She thought quickly. "Oliver Wood is in love." There, she thought, maybe that will throw him off the trail.

"Now I'm thoroughly confused. What does he have to do with anything?"

"Oliver was my safe haven after Viktor's death, and I was his."

Severus shifted his weight, his jealousy rising.

Hermione continued, "Katie Bell and Oliver married a year after the war ended. She also died in the explosion that killed Viktor."

Severus gasped. He remembered Katie from when she was a student. By all accounts, she was a likeable girl. She and Wood were probably an excellent match.

"Oliver and I grieved together; after a suitable amount of time, we found comfort in a relationship. It lasted a long time. We were content, happy even. He wanted children, so he proposed. I couldn't marry him; it just didn't feel right. I care for him, but I felt it wasn't enough for marriage and children. He was probably relieved when I said no. We said goodbye about a year and a half ago. When Harry shared the news of Oliver's new relationship, I felt nothing but happiness for him.

"I hadn't really considered it, but Harry made me realize that Oliver and I were together for safety and comfort. We were actually both hiding from our fear of loss in each other's arms. The fact that he has truly moved on gives me no pain, but it does make me realize that I haven't moved on, even though I thought that I had."

"It's interesting how different people respond to grief differently. " Severus had completely calmed down now. "Lily's death made me completely turn inward. You were able to maintain a successful relationship."

"I'm not sure it counts as successful when it's based on deception, Severus."

"You didn't lie to him."

"No, and he didn't lie to me. We both deceived ourselves."

"You both survived something horrible without it destroying you. You helped one another. You didn't lose yourselves the way I did. You may have even learned something about how to make a relationship work. That sounds like a success to me."

She laughed weakly. "But now I have to figure out how to move on."

"It's not easy," he said, looking at the ground. He looked up at her hand, which was still resting on his. He looked back up at her and leaned in a bit closer. "You will find someone, and he will be very lucky to have you."

She winced. She'd rather hoped she'd already found someone. However, it seemed that while he liked her, his feelings were platonic. He hadn't even considered that he was the one she was interested in.

Severus noted her discomfort. Had his compliment really made her that uncomfortable? Was the idea that he saw her value as a partner that revolting to her? He withdrew his hand carefully. If she didn't want more than friendship, he wouldn't allow himself to indulge that fantasy. That was a road he had traveled thoroughly, and it didn't lead to good places.

Lyra stood in the doorway to the garden. She knew that Severus took his meals out here when he needed to think, so she was not surprised to find him out there. She was, however, surprised to find Hermione with him. She watched as they talked. Whatever the topic was, it was clearly littered with emotion. Her hand was on his, and he had leaned in closer than typical for Severus. She looked wounded and unsure of her next step. He retreated gently, and he looked wounded as well. Lyra shook her head. These two are completely clueless.

"There you are, Severus. Hermione, how are you today?" Lyra's voice was cheerful.

Hermione jumped back from Severus a bit further, almost like a child misbehaving. If Hermione hadn't looked so sad, Lyra would have been amused by the action.

"I am doing fine, Lyra. Thank you. I have some questions about the testing process for you. If you have time to discuss, that would be helpful."

"Absolutely. Do you think we'll be ready?"

"Yes. I've got more good information than I can use. I have a little more organizing to do. We'll need to have a final strategy session tomorrow before the hearing on Friday."

The conversation continued about the upcoming hearing. Hermione was relieved. Her feelings and thoughts about Severus were all very confusing. She needed something to focus on that she could easily understand.

He was grateful for the distraction as well. Talking about the case was interesting and comfortable. And having Lyra at the table gave him somewhere to look instead of at Hermione's beautiful but sad face. How he wished he were the answer to her happiness.

He shook his head and turned back to Lyra. She had been his friend for a long time. He briefly let his mind wander to the time when they had both thought there was more between them. Years before, he had been flattered by the attentions of such a beautiful woman. She had appreciated that he saw more in her than just her looks. The romantic relationship had been short-lived and fiery. Ultimately, they realized that there was no compatibility as anything more than friends. As friends, her vanity and his reclusiveness were amusing quirks. As a couple, they were fatal flaws.

Once they realized this, the physical chemistry between them had morphed into something different. He was grateful for her companionship and respected her intelligence. Her bluntness kept him in check. She appreciated that he let her speak her mind and that he listened to her perspective on magical issues, even though she didn't possess the skills herself. No, they were much better as friends.