Second and Third Thoughts

Second and Third Thoughts

Zelda woke alone this time; the table clock said 2:25 am. After making sure that Severus was warm and breathing steadily, she finally had time to think. It hadn’t been twenty-four hours yet, but everything was changed for her. She needed time to grasp what that meant. She realized that she didn’t even know his last name… If wizards even had last names. For all she knew of whatever world he lived in, he might as well be a space alien to her. Yet he was definitely a man, and vulnerable right now, no matter how much power and will she sensed in him.

He was also disturbingly attractive to her, although he didn’t seem aware of it. When he had said to her, “No one kisses me,” she’d realized that it was a terrible, sad truth, and she had responded instinctively to his honesty.

Aside from the obvious, she thought ironically, she wanted him to get well so they could talk together. It seemed they would have a great deal to talk about. Intelligence had always attracted her, and combined with the loving heart that he seemed unaware of, and the integrity that shone from him, she thought he was probably the most amazing person she’d ever met. She didn't understand how she could know about him, but she thought he was also screwed-up, unreasonable, obnoxious, hypersensitive, and probably cranky, too. And then there was the magic…

Of course, she was no prize herself, she thought wearily. She wondered if she should wake him, but she had no doubt that he would survive his concussion now. The sun would rise soon, so she decided to wait and see what the new day would bring. She smiled sadly, thinking that if his eyes ever re-focused and Severus realized he was sleeping with a haggard old woman, he’d run in horror. But she would wake up with him once, at least. She nestled her face into the fine, black hairs of his chest and inhaled the delicious scent of him, allowing herself drift off to sleep.

Severus woke suddenly from a dreamless sleep, more aware now than before of what had happened to him… and felt warm breath on his skin. His head hurt, and his mind was still rather foggy, but he thought he remembered most of it now. He didn’t know where he was, of course, but at the moment, that was fine. On the one hand, he thought sardonically, was an entire world of wizards who wanted to kill him, on the other a kind, quick-witted, happy Muggle woman whose bed he was sharing. Sliding cautiously out of the bed, he carefully tucked the comforter around Zelda.

Wrapped in a blanket, he found his way to the bathroom. From there, he explored the house. It was small with only two more bedrooms, one of which housed a massive desk covered with books, papers, and electronic devices. The kitchen faced east, and through the curtains he could see the brightening sky. He opened a door, saw her van in the garage, and closed it. He turned around and was startled to find that he was not alone. Three cats glared contemptuously at him. Noticing three empty bowls on the floor, he said resignedly, “I suppose you think it’s my fault that they’re empty?”

In a nearby cupboard, he found a bag of “Meow Mix” with which he filled the bowls. The creatures swarmed through his legs and began crunching busily. He realized he didn’t know when he’d last eaten and that he was ravenous. Then, nauseated, he realized it was dinner in the Great Hall on that last terrible day. He collapsed at the table and wept for Dumbledore, for himself, for Draco Malfoy, for all the people grieving now over what he had done. He remembered the devastated expression on Potter’s face when they had faced each other afterward…

A sound distracted him, and a young cat, white all over with golden eyes, leapt onto his lap. She pressed her head under his hand until he petted her. Her warm fur was comforting, so he held her lithe, purring body until she’d had enough attention, and jumped down.

He retraced his steps to the bedroom and sank back into the warm bed where Zelda still slept. The light was brighter now, and he looked curiously at this woman who, in an instant, had become so important to him. The lines he remembered were gone in sleep, but he knew she was not young. She was too wise and competent to be young, he thought, remembering the silly girls at Hogwarts. ‘This ugly git has gotten extremely lucky,’ he thought smugly, dropping a kiss on her tousled hair, pretending he didn’t want to wake her.

She woke up, of course, and she beamed up at him when she saw that he was awake and aware of where he was. He wasted no time, but pulled her close and began kissing her. The sun rose, but neither of them noticed.