Chapter Five: The Window on the West

Disclaimer: JKR, Scholastic and Warner Brothers own the words and images belonging to the Harry Potter universe. The Tolkien estate, its various publishers and New Line Cinema own the words and images belonging to The Lord of the Rings universe.

Thanks, as always, to my alpha/beta team of morethansirius and sshg316.

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They're gone! Hermione thought when the students left for the Hogwarts Express on Saturday, December 20. Oh, she had found her first few months of teaching rewarding, but they had also been quite demanding. Some holiday time was very welcome. As Gryffindor Head of House, she was responsible to stay while she had any students at the school. There were five Gryffindor students still at Hogwarts for one reason or another, but by Monday they would be going to stay with relatives or friends. With so few students to supervise, she would have some free time. Maybe I can arrange some time with Severus. We haven't had any time to talk since the dance, really. It might make Christmas Eve less awkward.

With these thoughts, she went to lunch. Lunch in the Great Hall was a much less formal event during the holidays than during the school year. The students were allowed to sit at any of the house tables they wished. Hermione was happy to see that all of the students were sitting together at the Hufflepuff table. It was nice to see a small example of the inter-house unity the staff was trying to promote.

Just as lunch was about to start, Severus slipped into the seat next to hers. That... awareness she'd noticed ever since the dance was evident with him sitting nearby. She took a deep breath. Lunch time in the Great Hall is no time to be exploring this mutual attraction. Instead, they exchanged small talk as the meal progressed, keeping their eyes mostly on their plates.

The meal was nearly completed, and people were lingering to finish up conversations. Hermione finally took a good look at Severus who happened to choose that moment to look at her as well. Their eyes met for the first time that meal. Hermione felt her stomach give a little flip. I can't believe that I'm attracted to Severus Snape...and not just a little bit!

"What are you planning to do with your afternoon?" Severus asked.

"I thought I would grade some essays. The sooner I get my grading done, the sooner I can enjoy my holiday."

"That's my thought as well." Again, their gazes locked briefly as the promise of spending time together on Christmas Eve loomed large for a moment.

Hermione looked away, fiddling with her glass before asking, "I suppose you're planning to grade in your office?"

"That's what I had intended. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking about grading in the staff room this afternoon. I could use a change of scenery."

Severus looked at her for a moment. "Perhaps it is time for a change of scenery." The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile, and his eyes were warm as he looked at her.

He's flirting with me! Hermione couldn't resist giving him a glowing smile, no matter who might be looking. "Well then, maybe I'll see you there later."

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

They had sat at different tables in the staff room so they could spread out their grading, mindful of the fact that any of their colleagues could walk in at any time. They had, by unspoken agreement, sat on opposite sides of their tables and managed to exchange little glances during the afternoon. For the most part, they had shown admirable concentration and perseverance, in Hermione's opinion, considering what she'd rather be doing. The thought of being able to enjoy her holiday with no guilt about work left undone was a strong motivator.

With a long sigh, Severus clasped his hands in front of him, stretching the knots out of his arms and shoulders. He carefully capped his ink bottle and stacked his essays neatly in front of him. "Are you close to a stopping point?" he asked.

"I'm... nearly... done. There!" Hermione said as she finished the last of her comments on a student's essay. Following Severus's lead, she gathered her materials together.

"Good, because it's almost tea time, and the staff generally takes tea together on this first day of holiday before those who are travelling take their leave."

"Really? I wasn't aware of that."

"Minerva likely forgot to mention it. It's not anything formal. I never used to attend unless Albus demanded it, but as I'm already here, I may as well stay for tea."

Minerva, Pomona and Septima entered the staff room chatting. Minerva called the house-elves to help her set up the tea. "Severus," she said with surprise, "you're here for tea."

"As you can see," he responded. "Someone forgot to mention the holiday tea to Professor Granger, so I decided to introduce her to the dubious pleasures of the annual tradition."

Hermione covered her mouth to hide her smile, and Minerva's lips twitched as though she was trying to keep a straight face. Pomona sighed, looked at Septima and pressed her lips tightly together.

Minerva said, "How generous of you, Severus. You're getting positively mellow."

Septima gave a little snort of laughter. A look of uncertainty flickered in Severus's eyes for a moment before being shuttered behind a blank expression. He really doesn't know how to handle being teased. Hermione felt a sudden urge to protect Severus. I can't be too obvious about it, though. "Not too mellow, Minerva. He made it clear that he thought you should have been the one to tell me about the tea."

Glancing at Severus, she noticed a glint of humour in his eyes. Minerva gave a mock huff of annoyance, and Pomona and Septima tried to stifle giggles. Relieved, Hermione settled in to enjoy tea with her colleagues.

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

The next days passed quickly with times spent preparing for the next term and times spent with others. Hermione met the "mother hens" for tea and an exchange of Christmas gifts. For Septima, who always caught the romantic nuances in The Lord of the Rings, she had purchased a couple of good romances. Minerva received an assortment of chocolate biscuits since she was so generous in sharing hers. Hermione gave Pomona a Muggle gardening catalogue and gift certificate because the Herbology professor wanted to try some experiments with crossing new Muggle hybrids and magical plants. Hermione was surprised at how much she had come to care for these women. They weren't in her age group, but they were still her friends.

She and Severus found time to spend together, too. Not wanting to generate gossip, they were careful not to be closeted away in private but to meet in public places, such as the library or the staff room...places where casual friends might meet. One day, Severus took her to a little-used meeting room in the North Tower that had a lovely view of the expanse of grounds to the west of the castle and some very comfortable chairs.

"I've never seen this room before," Hermione said in surprise.

"You gave up Divination rather early...before you had time to scout out the good study places in the North Tower. This one was always one of my favourites. Even when school is in session, it gets relatively little use." With a hand on her back, he guided her to the west window. "Look at the grounds from here."

"Oh, Severus, the West Gardens are beautiful from up here! With the grounds sloping down, there is really a good view of the Quidditch Pitch."

"If you have a pair of omnioculars, you can watch the game from here, which would be a nice change on some cold Saturday."

"True, but I don't think the Gryffindor team would be too happy if their Head of House wasn't attending the game in the stands."

"As long as it was on a day when they play Slytherin, I think it would be perfectly suitable."

She laughed and playfully shook her finger at him. "Aha, I see your strategy. I will, but only if you spend it here with me."

He chuckled as he grabbed her finger. "Ah, now that is a temptation."

Her breath caught as he touched her. How could even a casual touch affect me like this? She saw the change in his eyes as he reacted to the energy that was generated by the simple touch. The strength of her reaction to Severus when they danced at the Christmas party had been unexpected. As always when confronted with the unexpected, she wanted to research carefully before committing herself to a course of action. She was beginning to see that Severus seemed to react the same way. Hermione reflected that ever since the party, it felt like they were still dancing...dancing around their feelings, careful not to make a misstep.

Severus sighed and gave her finger a quick squeeze before letting go and stepping back. "Maybe we ought to head back for dinner, but I wanted to talk about Christmas Eve. I thought I would meet you at The Leaky Cauldron and either Floo or Apparate to my house from there. Is that acceptable to you?"

"That would be fine. What time would you like to meet?"

"How about noon? We could return to Prince House in time for lunch, all right?"

"Sounds good. I'm looking forward to it."

"As am I."

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

The weather was sunny on Christmas Eve when Severus and Hermione Apparated to the gates of the Prince Estate. With a wave of Severus's wand, the gates opened, and they proceeded up the lane. Wrapping her cloak more tightly around her to fend off the breeze, Hermione wondered why they had not Apparated closer to the house. Then they rounded a bend in the lane, and she caught her first good view of the estate.

A wide expanse of parkland appeared before them, covered in a thin layer of snow. She could make out more formal gardens which led to a hill upon which the hall sat. "Oh my," she breathed. The hall was made of stone that gleamed golden in the sunlight at that distance. A large, square tower rose in the centre of the hall, flanked by several sections, each of which looked like a large house that reached its own peaked roof. Several gables and chimneys rose from the roof, imposing and yet somehow inviting.

The angle of the lane changed again, giving yet another view of the hall. It had clearly been built at different times and in different sections, and yet the whole seemed to fit together as though the design had been uppermost in the minds of the builders. As they walked, Hermione could see more of the formal grounds. She saw that each of the gardens was separate and yet harmonious. "Severus, your home is beautiful, and we haven't even seen the inside. I admit, I had no idea you were from somewhere like this."

"I'm not from here, Hermione, although this has become my home. I grew up in a little house in a mill town not far from here." They walked in silence for a moment. "My mother grew up in this house. When she married Tobias Snape, my grandfather disowned her. I never came here until six years ago. By that time, my grandfather had passed away, and since I was the only member of the family left, the house passed to me. I made preparations to come here in the event I needed a place to escape. None of the Death Eaters would be likely to associate this house with me. When I was bitten by Nagini, I was Portkeyed here."

Hermione filed away these bits of Severus's history, eager to learn more about him. By that time, they had reached the steps that took them from the lawn to the house. This close, Hermione could see that the hall was built around a square tower which was at the centre of the house. "What an interesting history this hall must have!" said Hermione.

"There is a book in the library," Severus said, smiling.

"Now you're just taunting me. You must have some idea of how much I love to read histories."

"I believe I've heard it mentioned a time or two." He gave a little smirk before continuing. "To give you a little history, this tower was the first part of the hall built. It was built in the 13th century as a lookout post for the local castle. Ironically, the hall is still here, but the castle is now a ruin on the eastern border of the park."

They had arrived at the tower and the front entrance to the hall. Taking her hand, Severus looked into her face intently as he said, "Welcome to my home, Hermione." Looking into his eyes, she realised this was somehow an important moment for him. He offered her his arm, and she placed her hand on it. Opening the door, he escorted her inside.

Hermione felt as though she had stepped back into the 13th century when she walked into the front hall. The walls were the original native limestone of the tower. Tapestries and coats of arms decorated the walls. A fire burned in the enormous fireplace, taking the chill out of the room. The Prince family crest hung above the fireplace, while a group of chairs sat nearby in a formal arrangement. A large, carved wooden chair dominated the seating and reminded Hermione very much of a throne. Severus noticed the direction of her gaze and said in an ironic tone, "My grandfather was apparently anxious to display the strength and dignity of the Prince family."

A soft pop sounded in the hall, and three elderly house-elves appeared. Together, they bowed and then said in unison, "Welcome to Prince House, Miss Hermione Granger."

"Thank you," Hermione replied. "What are your names?"

"I am Winkin," said the first.

"I am Blinkin," said the second.

"I am Nodd," said the third.

Someone had a sense of humour. "I'm very pleased to meet you," Hermione answered. Remembering her house-elf etiquette she inquired, "Which one of you is the Senior Elf?"

Immediately, Nodd stepped forward. "Miss Granger may be addressing Nodd as Senior. May Nodd take your cloak?"

Blinkin quickly followed Nodd, swatting his hand impatiently. "Miss Granger may be addressing Blinkin as Senior. Would you be liking something to drink?"

Importantly, Winkin stepped in front of both Blinkin and Nodd who were nearly hopping with impatience to be of service. "Winkin is actually eldest here. Would Miss Granger like...?" He apparently had to think of something different to offer than what had already been offered her. Seeing Winkin's hesitation, the other two began jostling for position. Winkin's face lit up. "Would Miss Granger like a place to be sitting?"

Hermione looked in bewilderment at Severus. She had never seen house-elves behave this way. The hierarchy of a house's elves was generally extremely formal and carefully followed.

Severus rolled his eyes and said sternly, "Enough! What sort of impression do you think you are making on Miss Granger?" Seeing the elves' forlorn expressions, he softened his voice somewhat. "Winkin, you may go make sure that Miss Granger's seat at the lunch table is ready and then that the lunch is properly prepared. Blinkin, you may get the lunch drinks ready and make sure the table is properly set. Nodd, you may take Miss Granger's cloak and show her where she can freshen up after our long walk. No punishing yourselves. Now, go!"

Winkin and Blinkin popped out of sight to go attend their duties. Nodd held out his hand to Apparate Hermione to one of the bedrooms. Instead of the medieval furnishings that she was expecting, this room was decorated in the style of a modern country manor and looked like it had come out of the pages of a magazine.

"Has this room been redecorated recently, Nodd?"

"Yes, Miss. We was told to be making it nice for Professor McGonagall when she comes to stay."

"Has she been often?"

"She was helping nurse Master when he was sick, and she comes to stay during holidays sometimes. May I take your cloak, Miss?"

Hermione removed her cloak and gave it to Nodd, who whisked it away to the wardrobe with a snap of his fingers. Looking in the mirror above the vanity table, Hermione fixed the damage that the breeze had done to her hair. She brushed a bit of lint from her burgundy dress robes and Transfigured her outdoor boots into a pair of shoes. When she was satisfied, she told Nodd, "I'm ready." Nodd took her hand, and with a snap of his fingers, he transported them to a pretty room where lunch had been set up.

"You have survived the enthusiasm of my house-elves," Severus noted. With a thank you to Nodd, he dismissed the little elf.

"I'm curious about their behaviour," Hermione said with a little laugh.

"The three of them are the oldest elves on the estate. They were born triplets, which is extremely rare amongst house-elves. My grandfather had named Winkin the Senior Elf because he is the oldest of the three, but that was causing a great deal of bad feeling from Blinkin and Nodd. I eventually named them all Senior Elf but gave them each their own area to be responsible for. Winkin is in charge of the kitchen, Blinkin is in charge of the rest of the house, and Nodd is in charge of the grounds. Usually, that works, but they all wanted to have the honour of greeting a guest."

"Apparently, you don't entertain much," Hermione noted with a smile.

"Well, up until last June, I was in hiding," Severus reminded her. "I didn't plan to regale you with my housekeeping problems." In a tone that said, Let's change the subject, he continued. "May I say that colour suits you?"

"Why, thank you, Severus," Hermione replied playfully. "May I say that you look quite dashing as well?" She recognised the dress robes that he had worn to the Remembrance Banquet.

"I hope you won't mind having lunch somewhere besides the formal dining room," he said as he seated her at one end of a little table. It was set up in a small alcove that had windows on three sides and a beautiful view of the lawns outside. I wonder what they look like when the flowers are blooming. It must be breathtaking. Severus continued. "There are a few rooms that have been redecorated since I came here, but the dining room isn't one of them. It can be a little daunting in all its medieval grandeur."

"You've redecorated this room then? It's lovely!"

"No, this was my grandmother's writing room, and my grandfather allowed her to decorate it to suit her. She had her desk set here in this alcove. I have set it up as a breakfast room and eat most of my meals here."

"Do you not use a desk when you are here? I find it hard to believe that you don't engage in study at home."

"I have my desk in the library." Hermione perked up when she heard one of her favourite words, and Severus laughed. "Yes, I'll give you a tour when we are through eating."

Lunch was a very enjoyable meal. Not only was the food delicious, but they found all sorts of things to talk about: the house and gardens, their childhood homes, their love of history and research, projects that each of them was contemplating or working on. After lunch, Severus gave Hermione a tour of the house, and the conversation continued. Ever since the dance at the Christmas party, Hermione had been wishing for a time when she could talk to Severus and get to know him as a person, not just her former Potions master. Severus must have been feeling the same way because he was far more forthcoming than Hermione ever expected he would be.

They had settled in the drawing room for tea. The drawing room was beautifully panelled in dark wood squares. A white marble fireplace dominated one wall. Rugs and seating arrangements were scattered throughout the room. This room had been decorated for Christmas with a tree, evergreen boughs, candles and the like.

Hermione and Severus were sitting on a sofa in front of the fireplace, the tea service sitting on a table in front of them. Severus served her tea, and they leaned back on the sofa, sipping tea, quiet for the moment. Hermione stared at the fire and chose her words with care, remembering how he had reacted to this question at the Remembrance Banquet. "You've been so open with me today, but will you tell me about how you survived that last attack in the Shrieking Shack and what you did after that?"

Severus sighed and took her hand in his. "Yes, you deserve to know because... I'm not the same person now as the man I was before... and I hope that will mean something to you."

Hermione clasped his hand tightly. Yes! It means something to me.

Severus took a sip of tea and began. "That last year at Hogwarts was... difficult. I didn't expect to live through the war. It was only a question of whether the Order or the Dark Lord would kill me. And, to be honest, a large part of me wanted to be dead, but I still had tasks that only I could complete. After all those years of spying, the added stress was making it hard to get through each day."

He was quiet for a moment, and Hermione tried to imagine what he might be leaving unsaid. She could imagine it must have been difficult to try to do what was best for the students and staff when he was so hated by them. He continued, "So I gave myself a project, a good Slytherin puzzle. I decided to see if I could trick my way into survival and escape. It gave me something to focus on besides my immediate situation.

"I reasoned that if the Order tried to kill me, I couldn't fight back without hurting or killing an ally. If the Dark Lord used the Killing Curse, there wouldn't be much defence against that. But if he used Nagini to kill me, then I might have a chance. I made an antivenin potion and kept a time-delay Portkey pinned to my robes at all times. So when I was bitten, I was Portkeyed here."

"A time-delay Portkey?"

"My thought was that the Dark Lord or whoever attacked me would have time to leave me for dead before I disappeared."

"That makes sense, but who took care of you, Severus?" Hermione asked with concern in her voice.

"I had instructed Winkin to go to Kingsley Shacklebolt with a letter I had prepared. Fortunately, Kingsley was willing to consider what I had to say, and when he talked to Harry Potter and saw the memories in the Pensieve, he was convinced. He contacted Minerva, and they oversaw my healing with the help of the house-elves."

"Did it take you long to heal? The antivenin must have cut down on the time you were ill."

"Not really. You see, I couldn't actually test the antivenin before I used it. It did keep me alive, but barely, and my recovery was long and painful. I couldn't get out of bed for weeks. I couldn't speak for longer than that. I was terrified."

"Because you thought you might never speak again."

Severus stared into the fire before continuing. "In my worst nightmares, I wouldn't be able to speak. My father would threaten my mother, and I wouldn't be able to tell him to stop. The Marauders would insult or curse me, and I couldn't respond. I would be in front of a classroom and not able to give my lecture. I would be standing in front of the Dark Lord trying to convince him of something, unable to speak."

He looked at Hermione then. "My voice, my words, saying the right things had been my main line of defence for so long that I wasn't sure if I could survive without it. I couldn't encounter anyone or stand trial. I swore Kingsley and Minerva to secrecy and bound the house-elves not to tell anyone of my survival or location."

"And you just stayed here?"

"I went into hiding. When I was allowed to get out of bed, I would sit either at my desk or at the table where we lunched. I didn't do anything, or think anything, or even see anything, not really. I didn't have anything to do or to live for. No direction."

"No thoughts of, 'If I live through this, I'd like to...'" Hermione left the thought hanging.

Severus shook his head. "My plan for 15 years was to avenge Lily to redeem the mistake I made that had led to her death. Joining Dumbledore, spying for the Order, teaching at Hogwarts, protecting Harry Potter, all of it had been for that goal. When it was done, I had nothing left to do, and neither of my masters could give me advice because they were both dead."

"What happened?"

"Kingsley and Minerva were desperate to figure out what to do. I believe they eventually talked to a Muggle counsellor who suggested that they give me projects to do. Kingsley would come for a visit and ask me to think about ways to find and capture a Death Eater still on the loose. Minerva would ask me to puzzle out ways to help the castle heal. Pretty soon, Minerva said the new Potions teacher couldn't keep up with her teaching duties and make the potions for the Infirmary. Could I make a few batches of some of the more common potions?"

"They made you feel needed again."

"Yes, and that helped, especially after I started to be able to talk again. What finally brought me out of it, however... Come with me, and I'll show you."

His hand still held Hermione's, so he helped her up from the sofa and led her into his grandmother's sitting room where they had eaten lunch. They walked up to the alcove where the table was. It faced west, and the sun was setting as they approached. It was a beautiful sight. Standing there, Severus put his arm around her shoulders. She put her arm around his waist and leaned against his shoulder. She spoke softly, "It's beautiful. How did this help you?"

"I was standing here, thinking about sunsets and the cycles of the days and the seasons. I started thinking that my life was at a sunset. The old part was over, and a new part could start now. I'd paid my debt to Lily, and I could leave her in my past. I'd done what Albus had asked, and I could leave him in my past."

Hermione nodded. "And that left you free to think about your future?"

"Yes," Severus responded. "So I decided to come out of hiding, to be around people again, and to see what happiness I could find. Getting back to what I said at the beginning, that's what I hope matters to you. That's what I've mulled over since that dance before inviting you here. Everyone knows that I was in love with Lily Evans. Lily Potter. Even my students, and especially the three of you, know that it made me bitter and miserable. But now I hope you know why I'm not that person anymore." He smiled a bit. "Still sarcastic and grumpy, I suppose, but not bitter."

Hermione raised her head from Severus's shoulder to look up into his face. He was smiling down at her with a look... I think my heart's just melted into a puddle of goo. One arm was still around his waist, but she gently brought her other hand to his face, cupping his cheek. "Severus, I can't believe you've told me all this. Thank you for trusting me so much."

That smile just lifted a bit more. "Why wouldn't I trust you, Hermione? You're one of the most caring, compassionate people I know, and I..." Suddenly, he brought his mouth to hers in a kiss of such sweetness, such tenderness that it nearly took her breath away. Her hand moved from his cheek to snake into his hair at the back of his head as she melted into his kiss. She felt his free arm go around her waist, pulling her even closer as his lips explored hers. Without thought, their mouths opened to experience this kiss more fully.

The light of the sunset gleamed through the windows onto the couple entwined in each other's arms, kissing each other as though they never wanted to stop. Slowly, Hermione became aware of whispering going on in the room. Her eyes opened to see Severus open his eyes. They both turned their heads towards the sound. Winkin, Blinkin and Nodd stood there, heads down, glancing fearfully up at them.

"Well?" Severus asked in a severe tone.

Winkin stepped forward with a squeak, as though he had been pushed by Blinkin. "Pardon me, Master, but you did be ordering supper to be served in a few minutes..."

"We came in to set the table, Master, and we is finding..." Blinkin clearly didn't know what he had found.

Nodd trembled. "Is we to be punishing ourselves, Master?"

Severus and Hermione just looked at each other and gave a little laugh. Severus responded, "No punishment is necessary. Professor Granger and I will just go into the drawing room while you finish the supper preparations. Thank you."

With dignity, he offered Hermione his arm, and they slowly walked into the drawing room where they burst out laughing. Severus walked her over by the Christmas tree and motioned her to a nearby chair. "I have a gift for you," he said, still smiling.

He reached under the tree to get a small box, beautifully wrapped. When Hermione opened it, she discovered two gift cards to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King at a theatre in London, along with a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. Hermione smiled. "Severus, what a great idea! Is this your way of asking me on a date?"

"Well, if you wanted me to be the other person to go to dinner and a movie with you, I certainly wouldn't object." He gave a little smirk.

"All right. That will be fun. Here's your gift."

Hermione handed him a long, narrow box wrapped in green and gold paper. When he opened it, Severus discovered a self-writing quill. "Thank you, Hermione. It's the deluxe model, isn't it? I've always wanted one of these, but it's just something I'd never purchase for myself."

"I figured it could come in handy when you want to take notes during a potions experiment. "Besides..." She giggled a little. "Now that I've had some experience grading essays, I've come to realise that your hand must be extremely fatigued after writing all those comments." She grinned at him.

"Cheeky witch," he growled in mock anger.

Winkin came in to announce that supper was ready. Hermione and Severus went back to the room they had so recently vacated. Severus held Hermione's chair as she was seated before seating himself. Time passed swiftly as they partook of a delicious meal and delicious conversation. As they ate their dessert, Severus asked, "You have to leave soon, don't you, so that you can attend Christmas Eve service with your parents?"

"Not right away, but pretty soon," Hermione responded.

"Would you like to go to dinner and the movie next week?" Severus asked. "I had thought maybe New Year's Eve."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Severus. I can't on New Year's Eve. Harry and Ginny have invited me to a party at their house."

"That's all right."

"Do you want to come with me to Harry and Ginny's?" Hermione asked.

"Do you think that's wise?" Severus asked. "Do you want to have to endure the reactions you're likely to get from Potter and Weasley?"

Hermione smiled. "Harry and Ron. Hmm, maybe not quite yet. Would you like to go to the movie on Saturday or Sunday?"

"How about Saturday? Why don't I pick you up at your parents' house?" Severus asked.

Hermione hesitated. "Well, I don't know..."

"You think it's too soon for me to meet your parents?" Severus questioned.

"Oh no, it's not that. It's just... well, my parents don't really know what I did during the war. Meeting you would bring the subject up, and it could be... awkward for me."

"What do they think you were doing during the war?"

"They think I was on the run with Harry and Ron, staying safe. They don't know about breaking into the Ministry or Gringotts, or going to Malfoy Manor... or Bellatrix..."

"What about Bellatrix?" Severus asked sharply.

Hermione bit her lip. "It's something I don't talk about. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Severus took her hand. Gently, he asked, "Hermione, what about Bellatrix?"

Hermione looked at him, remembering how open he had been with her earlier. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "When we were caught by Snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor, we had the Sword of Gryffindor with us. Bellatrix knew it was supposed to be in her vault, and she decided to question one of us to find out what else we had taken from her vault." Hermione couldn't look Severus in the eye without crying, so she turned away. "She chose me. She used a knife and the Cruciatus Curse. I'm sure you can imagine how it proceeded from there. Fortunately, before she got a chance to do too much damage, Dobby came and freed Harry and Ron. Then the three of them came for me. That's when Dobby was mortally wounded. If he hadn't had to save me, he wouldn't be dead."

Severus spoke, concern in his tone. "Hermione, you surely cannot blame yourself for Dobby's death. You didn't choose to be captured and questioned."

"Oh, but you see, we did choose to be captured. We had figured out that Harry needed to defeat Draco to get the allegiance of the Elder Wand. And our plan depended on Dobby's knowledge of Malfoy Manor. Of course," her tone grew sarcastic, "we didn't force Dobby to go, but I could see he was afraid. Harry had asked Dobby if he would help, and Dobby didn't want to refuse Harry Potter. Harry Potter had freed him. Asking Dobby for that favour was almost as bad as coercion. I'm such a hypocrite. Rights for the house-elves as long as it doesn't interfere with my plans."

"But Dobby did choose to fight," Severus said calmly, "just like Kreacher and the house-elves at Hogwarts. It was their choice. Just like you chose to fight, even when you were afraid. Isn't that why you've interceded for the house-elves...to give them the right to choose?"

Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but Severus interrupted her. "I don't think the main issue here is whether you disregarded Dobby's rights. Hermione, who knows that you were tortured during the war?"

"Harry and Ron know, of course." Her voice took on a hard edge as she continued. "The Malfoys know. They stood there while it happened and did nothing. I can't... I can't remember if anyone else was there. It's all a bit of a blur, except the pain and trying not to tell Bellatrix where we got the sword."

"Do you ever talk about that with Harry and Ron?"

"I did try at first, but it made Ron feel guilty that he hadn't been able to rescue me sooner. Then Harry would get depressed remembering Dobby. Eventually, it was just easier not to talk about it."

"Why haven't you told your parents about what you did in the war?"

"They'll know I lied to them! They're already having a hard time trusting me because of my altering their memories. If they know I lied to them besides..."

"I would guess they probably already suspect that you're not telling the whole truth. You can't really hide the effects of something like that. Believe me, I know. It might be better to tell them."

"Oh, I don't know, Severus..."

"You're a teacher. Who would you trust more: a student whom you suspected was lying to you or a student who came to you and admitted they had misled you?"

"I see your point, but we're not talking about a late essay. This is quite a bit bigger than that."

"Just think over what I've said."

Hermione nodded slowly.

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

She had to admit that Severus had given her a lot to think about. She thought during the Christmas Eve service she attended with her parents. She thought during the day she spent with her parents on Christmas, and during the dinner at her uncle and aunt's house on Boxing Day.

She didn't spend all that time thinking about whether or not to tell her parents about her war exploits. She spent quite a bit of time in fond remembrance of the kisses that she and Severus had shared before she left the Prince Estate on Christmas Eve. That man surely can kiss!

They had spent an enjoyable evening together on Saturday having dinner and seeing the movie. Hermione thought the movie was wonderful and wondered if Arthur Weasley could charm a DVD player and television to work at Hogwarts the way he had the CD player for the Christmas party. She filed that thought away to ask Arthur at Harry and Ginny's party.

After the movie, she invited him back to her apartment for a drink. Mostly, though, the invitation was an excuse to kiss him again. He had a way of almost worshipping her lips with his own that was terribly exciting. She didn't want to have to wait a whole week before seeing him again at Hogwarts.

"Severus," she said breathlessly when he took a break from her lips to nibble her neck and earlobe, "will you please come with me to Harry and Ginny's party on New Year's Eve?" She gasped as he grazed an especially tender spot just beneath her ear.

"Mmmm." His voice seemed to vibrate through her, causing her to squirm in his arms. He chuckled at her reaction. "I thought you weren't sure if you wanted to brave Potter's and Weasley's reactions just yet."

Hermione lifted her head from where it had been resting on the arm extended across the back of her sofa. "I thought that was how you felt. I certainly have no qualms about telling them that you and I are having a relationship."

"I don't have qualms about people knowing we're in a relationship. It will cause a great deal of gossip and speculation, two things that I hate. To be honest, I'm not sure if I wouldn't feel more comfortable making our relationship public the first time to our colleagues or your parents, not Potter and Weasley."

Seeing her disappointment, he asked, "Could you give me some time to think about it? I spent years trying to stay out of the public eye. Except for that little flurry last spring when I got the Order of Merlin, I've managed to do it. Potter and Weasley, on the other hand, seem to attract attention."

Hermione remembered that he had spent years virtually alone. "Of course, I understand. I don't want to pressure you. How about if you decide to come, you just show up at 12 Grimmauld Place anytime after 8:00 that night?"

He kissed her tenderly and said, "I don't deserve someone who is so patient with me. Are you sure you want to put up with this sour old man?"

Hermione snorted. "Oh, Severus, don't be silly. You've been so sweet to me. And I certainly don't think of you as old. Not when you kiss the way you do." They engaged in some heated snogging for a few more moments before saying good night. Severus promised again to consider her invitation for New Year's Eve.

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

Hermione had a little shopping to do for the book club before she went back to Hogwarts. There was a stationer's shop not far from Grimmauld Place which turned out to have exactly what she wanted. She had done her shopping so quickly that she had some extra time. She shrank her purchases and put them in the pocket of her coat before walking down the street to a coffee shop. She picked up a newspaper at the counter along with her coffee and sat down at one of the tables near the window of the store.

She was reading quite happily when she heard, "Hermione?"

Looking up, she saw Edward Beekman standing next to her table. "Edward! How nice to see you! Would you like to have a seat?"

"Gladly, thanks." They spent an enjoyable half hour talking about their holidays and their errands. Edward had her laughing out loud over his rendition of trying to find the perfect gift for his new girlfriend. Apparently, his gift had been wildly successful if his blushes were anything to go by.

"Can I walk you somewhere?" he asked when they had finished with their coffee and conversation.

"No thank you. I'm just headed a couple of streets away for a party. If you happen to see them, tell James and Jasmine that I said hello. And have a happy new year!" She shook his hand. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, wished her a happy new year and walked off.

Hermione walked to Harry and Ginny's house. It was wonderful to spend time with Harry, Ginny, Ron and Luna. Harry was no longer doing undercover work because Ginny would be having their first baby in just a few weeks. Ron and Luna were planning another trip, this time to Brazil. The Weasley family was there, along with Andromeda Tonks with Teddy Lupin. Hermione enjoyed herself and even remembered to ask Arthur about charming a telly and DVD player.

Her enjoyment was dampened by the fact that Severus never came to the party. She didn't let herself mope, but as the evening wore on, her disappointment grew. You told him there is no pressure, but naturally, he would feel pressured after so many years alone. The Weasleys can be a bit overwhelming.

As the night wore on, she couldn't ignore a growing feeling of uneasiness and insecurity. What if it's not him? What if it's me? What if he doesn't want to have a relationship with me? She hated when she did this to herself, but she could never quite get over those feelings of insecurity she had had as a child...feelings that caused her to try to answer all the questions and prove that she was just as good as anyone else, even if she hadn't been born into the wizarding world.

All in all, she was glad when the party ended. She was relieved that Christmas break was nearly over. Friday evening couldn't come soon enough for her. Then she could see Severus and reassure herself that everything was all right.

~~o~~0~~o~~0~~o~~

Members of the book club arrived fairly promptly, considering that some of them were just coming back to Hogwarts from their holidays that day. Hermione had presents for them. She had purchased a calendar for each of them with an artist's rendition of different characters and scenes from The Lord of the Rings. She had also purchased a variety of sizes and types of Post-It Notes. If there was anything that teachers would appreciate about the Muggle world, it should be Post-It Notes. Even Ivy seemed impressed by them and the ideas that Hermione had for using them.

She was just sitting everyone down to start the meeting when Severus walked in. He apologised for being late and took his seat. He had given her a brief nod but no more. He must really be worried about gossip. Well, she could respect his reticence. She continued the meeting with barely a pause.

"Book Four only has four main characters in it: Frodo, Sam, Gollum and Faramir. I thought we could play a little game. What if these four characters were being sorted into houses here at Hogwarts? Which house would each of them belong to?" That got everyone's attention, Hermione thought. "I tried to decide in what order to discuss the characters. I finally settled on alphabetical sorting, which means Faramir would be first."

Septima, as usual, was one of the first to respond. "I think he would be in Ravenclaw. He seems to love learning. He's spent a lot of time with Gandalf to learn more about the lore of Gondor, and he understands the wisdom of not using the One Ring."

From his usual corner of the room, Cuthbert Binns, a former Ravenclaw, stated his opinion. "Look at how well his attacks in the wilderness are carried out. That shows thoughtful planning."

"Very logical reasoning," Hermione responded with a smile. "Do any of the other houses want to make a case for Faramir?"

"The attacks are very cunning, a trait normally associated with Slytherin," Ivy countered.

Severus continued, "He's a younger son who needs to find a way to stand out in spite of his popular and successful older brother. He gets to know Gandalf and excels in learning, thus giving him a way to get ahead. Ambition is a trait typical of Slytherins. Not using the One Ring could be self-preservation instead of wisdom."

"Yes, and he was cunning enough to trick people into accusing themselves with their own words, another Slytherin tactic," Septima muttered.

"You're just angry because we used the same points to make our case for Slytherin that you used to make a case for Ravenclaw," Ivy responded airily.

Before the debate could get stormy, Pomona chimed in. "He could be a Hufflepuff. He is very loyal to his family and his country. He chooses to be a friend to Frodo and let him continue his mission, in spite of what he thinks his father would want. To me, he's showing loyalty and friendship, even though the two things come into conflict."

"I think a case could be made for Gryffindor," Minerva countered. "There he is in the wilderness with a small band of soldiers making surprise attacks on the enemy. That takes a lot of courage."

"That's right, Minerva." Bathsheba Babbling, another former head of Gryffindor House, was ready to make a case for her house as well. "He went against his father's orders to allow Frodo to continue on his quest. I don't know how much of that was due to friendship, as Pomona suggests, or how much of that was trying to do what he thought was the right thing. That takes a great deal of bravery as well. He could get in a lot of trouble from his father...and did, in fact."

"Well, what do you think?" Hermione asked. Given the fact that many houses' answers had countered each other, it was a tough choice, but eventually, the consensus put Faramir in Gryffindor.

"Next up would be Frodo," Hermione prompted.

"I liked that he was kind to Gollum," Sybill said in her vague way, "and found a way for him to be useful. That seems very much like the kind of person Helga Hufflepuff was."

"Well said, Sybill," Pomona murmured her approval.

"He showed a great deal of bravery, going on despite being unsure and scared. A Gryffindor trait, to be sure."

"I thought it was a very Gryffindor moment when he ran off like a lunatic and got caught by orcs," Severus said to Ivy in an undertone. They chuckled together.

Minerva snorted her disapproval.

"Before you come to blows, I'll put in my two Knuts for Ravenclaw," said Septima loudly.

"By all means, Septima," said Severus smoothly.

Minerva gave another huff of annoyance at Severus's seeming cooperation.

Septima pretended to ignore the two of them and said, "He enjoys learning. He loves lore, and he speaks the Elvish language. He's clearly a well-educated Hobbit."

"Severus or Ivy, would either of you care to speak for Slytherin?" Hermione asked.

Severus and Ivy looked at each other. "He doesn't seem very Slytherin to me," Ivy commented. "He has no sense of self-preservation or ambition. He does make some good alliances, I guess."

With Slytherin basically out of the running, the majority of members voted for Frodo to be in Ravenclaw.

"Now let's move on to Sam," Hermione suggested.

"Wait a minute," Pomona said. "I thought you were going in alphabetical order. That would bring you to Gollum next."

"His real name is Smeagol, which puts him alphabetically after Samwise," Hermione responded. "Anyway, what house would Sam be in?"

Everyone looked around at each other. Finally, several of them answered, "Hufflepuff."

"Loyalty is his strongest trait," Pomona said rather proudly.

"Do you all agree?" Hermione asked. Everyone nodded. "Well, that was easy. And that just leaves... Smeagol."

Everyone looked at Severus and Ivy. Severus looked pained. "Don't. Say it."

"What?" Ivy asked. "Wait a minute, you're not trying to make Smeagol a Slytherin?!"

"Of course they are," Severus said. "They'll say that he was ambitious to get the Ring and that he made an alliance with Shelob to do it."

"Well, of all the insulting... As though Slytherin House would accept some sort of hybrid Hobbit! That would be like letting in a half-blood or a... a Muggle-born!"

"Professor Turner," Severus said in a very quiet tone that let everyone in the room know that he was quite angry, "I am a half-blood." Ivy closed her mouth with a snap.

"If you all will excuse me, I'll take my leave. Good night." Severus stalked from the room.

Ivy rose with a show of dignity which was somewhat mitigated by her stooping to collect her gifts from Hermione. "I believe I'll say good night as well," she said as she swept from the room.

Everyone looked at each other with shock.

After a few seconds, Minerva said quietly, "I was going to say that he shows some bravery by going into some very scary places and exploring frightening paths in Mordor. Of course, some of that was from necessity, but still..."

"I was going to point out that, although he's not well-educated, he seems to be good at retaining the lore that he learned as a child so many years ago," Septima responded.

They both looked at Pomona who said, "Well, I wasn't going to claim him for Hufflepuff." Minerva gave an inelegant snort of laughter, and Septima rolled her eyes. Pomona raised her eyebrows, "Well, if he'd been in Hufflepuff, he probably wouldn't have turned out so badly. Name one bad wizard to come out of Hufflepuff house."

Everyone but Pomona and Sybill said in unison, "Hildegard Bridgewater."

Pomona and Sybill stood. Pomona responded in icy tones, "There has never been any proof that she was evil. She could just as well have been placed under the Imperius Curse. Good night!" She and Sybill turned as one and left the room.

Minerva sighed. "Hmmm, well I suppose we might all just as well leave then. Good night, Hermione." Those who were left murmured their good nights to her.

Hermione sat alone in her room, a bit overwhelmed. What has just happened? Her fun idea for a game had offended some of the members of her book club. Even more troubling was the question of what had happened to Severus. He'd barely looked at her. Something must be wrong. But what?