Pearls

Banner by Nottonyharrison

In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to JK Rowling, this work of fiction is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work.

Pearls

Fluffy, delicate, intricately ornamented snowflakes circled in the air, as if decidedly aiming at Severus Snape's prominent nose. Some of them were landing right on target. Some missed, landing instead on his eyelashes, brows and cheeks. All of them, however, regardless of where they landed, shared the same unfortunate fate. Once landed they melted, leaving small wet patches on his skin.

Severus huffed and wiped his face – the weather was positively and utterly miserab... (aaagh, wrong word) perfect. Severus Snape was walking briskly down festively decorated Diagon Alley. The street was packed with busy, cheerful wizards, witches and children. Carol singers sang their hymns standing right in front of Gringotts. The shops sparkled and shimmered with Christmas lights and decorations, and peals of little bells reverberated along the street continuously, mingling with the happy laughter and chatter in the air.

Oh, how he loathed these festivities and Christmas spirit. For almost his entire life, he had hated this time of the year with every fibre of his being. Luckily, this was no longer the case. For decades, misery had been his typical companion during Christmas and had remained so until the previous December, when one rather brilliant witch had walked into Severus' life. Unexpectedly and irrevocably, she had changed everything in it, even his perception of Christmas. This wicked witch had managed to turn his loneliness and misery into rubbish and throw it away, filling the void left behind with her rapid heel tapping, her vibrant laughter, tantalizing scents and buttons, lots and lots of pearl buttons.

Now, a year later, the Potions master was surprised by how bearable, even tolerable, the joyful atmosphere around him felt. It was December 15, ten days before Christmas. A hardly noticeable but nevertheless soft and, dare I say, happy smile played on Severus' lips. His every step had a distinct spring to it, and his every move was animated by the absolute contentment of a man who has just found the perfect Christmas gift for his precious wife.

With a satisfied grunt, and not quite succeeding in disguising his smile, Severus patted his slightly protruding pocket. The small box lay right there, warming his heart with hot waves of anticipation. Indeed, he had found the best possible Christmas present. He could already almost see how delectable and irresistible the champagne pearls would look around Hermione's delicate neck, how perfectly they would accentuate her peach-hued skin. Besides, the necklace would be a fitting companion to her engagement ring, which had a champagne pearl set in it, as well.

Severus chuckled softly at himself as his apparent infatuation with pearls was pretty obvious.

An appetizing smell of chocolate and vanilla caught Severus' attention and drew him to the window of the candy shop, at which point the daring idea was born in the Potions master's mind. For a minute, he looked at the bright display in indecision. His hesitation was almost palpable. Then he huffed, jerked his enormous nose up and bravely stepped inside.

The bell on the shop's door announced Severus' entrance, inevitably arousing the attention of inhabitants of the shop. Here he stood – the dark, evil outcast, dressed completely black – in the middle of this absurdly neon paradise filled with sugar, chocolate and confectionaries. For mere seconds, the only thought flashing through the Professor's mind was – run, now!

"Shit," growled Severus under his breath. However, he wasn't ready to give up just yet. A year spent in the proximity of Gryffindor had rubbed off on him. He straightened his shoulders and courageously walked to the counter, almost scaring the unsuspecting shop assistant to death in the process. Apparently they weren't used to such stormy clouds of black looming over their counters.

"What would you like, sir?" asked the assistant, his voice trembling.

"Some chocolate truffles, perhaps. What would you recommend?" asked Severus in his most civil possible voice. Miraculously, it worked. After this question, the boy at the counter visibly relaxed and obviously got a second wind.

"Ah, sir, we have absolutely the best chocolate truffles in England." He began to fuss around Severus. "Maybe you will find these two interesting," said the boy as he excitedly pushed two identical chocolate truffles to Severus. "This one is the darkest chocolate we have, filled with black cherry flavoured chocolate mousse," he pointed at one of them, "and this one is the same dark chocolate, sir, but with black currant flavoured mousse inside." The shop assistant continued to chatter, especially emphasizing the words 'darkest', 'dark' and 'black' while describing each truffle.

"You have to try them sir, they are truly exquisite."

"Thank you, I am sure they are," muttered Severus. "I shall take a dozen of each." The whole affair had begun to annoy the hell out of him. Old habits die hard.

Suddenly, someone behind him tugged his robe. He turned around, not finding anyone. However, from somewhere well below the counter, near the ground, he heard a high voice whispering loudly, "Sir, sir."

Severus looked down and met a pair of bright, blue eyes that were watching him intently.

"You've got to buy a lollipop, sir. They are the best here – take blue, they are bloody fantastic, sir. Or red – they explode right in your mouth, freaking wicked, sir. Honestly," enthused the young adviser as he batted his eyelashes innocently.

Severus arched his eyebrows sceptically. He surveyed the child's covered with chocolate and various coloured sugar syrup plump cheeks, and said to the shop assistant. "Perhaps one lollipop as well."

"Splendid, what colour would you like, sir?"

The insistent whisper from under the counter continued, "Blue sir, take blue sir or red, red are wicked sir."

Severus drew an exhausted breath, thought for another moment and said, "This green would certainly do."

"Sour apple?" the shop assistant and small lad exclaimed in unison.

A short while later, equipped with two dozen of the darkest, blackest, chocolate truffles and one recklessly green lollipop, Severus continued on his walk. He had only taken a few steps when he heard Hermione's voice calling him.

"Severus, Severus!"

The wizard immediately turned towards his beloved wife's voice, and there she was, practically covered by the variety of brightly coloured bags and boxes she held in her hands. Severus closed the distance between them rapidly. He silently intertwined his fingers with hers, taking the weight of her purchases into his hands and impatiently pressing his lips to her in a desperate, searing kiss, completely forgetting his very firm former views about kissing and parading affection in public. Well, suffice it to say that the Potions master's views had shifted quite a bit. As a Slytherin, he simply changed them. And, truly, why not parade your happiness when you have it? And why on earth not give in to the urge to kiss the delicious lips when they are right here, waiting to be kissed?

"I missed you, witch," murmured Severus, covering her neck with little kisses and nibbles.

"It's only been two hours, Severus," she smiled at him, "and I missed you too." And Hermione pressed her lips to his again, arching and pressing her soft, curvy body into his with urgency and scattering the boxes and bags to the sides. Severus felt how the now familiar, and this time very welcome, wave of rigidness began to engulf him.

"Are you done with the shopping?" His hoarse whisper betrayed his own urgency.

"Yes, yes," was her breathy reply, and they disappeared into thin air with all their bags, boxes, truffles, pearls and one recklessly green lollipop.

A few seconds later, they landed in their small foyer in a tangled mass of cloaks, robes and Christmas ribbons. At this point, they were already lost in their frenzied arching and pushing into each other. Their hungry mouths sought each other franticly, obviously not getting enough – there were too many barriers between them.

It was apparent that the vertex they so urgently desired required skin on skin contact. So, they really needed to unbag, unbox and ... undress. In other words, they had to redirect their efforts.

Severus' low murmur interrupted the music of their ragged breathing.

"I have a little surprise for you," he said, and with that, untangled one of his hands and extracted from the depths of his robes the boxes with truffles. Then, after a second of hesitation and a nervous sigh, he freed his other hand and took the green lollipop out of his pocket. The pearls would go under the tree, of course.

The squeal of delight took Severus by surprise.

"Severus! You bought me chocolate!" Instantly, he was kissed again – deeply and lingeringly.

"I have a surprise for you too. First, I thought to wait until Christmas. But, now, since you brought me this," Hermione's eyes focused on the flamboyantly bright lollipop and mischievous amber sparkles began to twinkle in them, "I just can't wait that long."

Hermione took one bag from the colourful and motley pile. Then she smiled, and whispered into Severus' ear in a very sultry voice. "Would you and your friend," she traced the rather evident protuberance in his trousers with the tip of her finger, making Severus shudder, "be able to wait a couple of minutes for me? I'll be back in a bit."

Hermione vanished behind the door of their bedroom, and Severus had to wait. He removed his cloak and robes, which left him in his black trousers and white shirt. Next, he removed his cravat and then, moving awkwardly since his trousers still were uncomfortably tight, he walked to the bar and poured himself a few ounces of Firewhisky. All the while he was thinking about what exactly he had unknowingly unleashed on himself when he bought that freaking lollipop. The mischievous fire in his wife's eyes had intrigued and turned him on immensely.

Well, if nothing else, Severus Snape was an extremely patient man. So, he waited. Patiently.

At last, after exactly twenty-three minutes and fifty-seven seconds, Hermione reappeared at the threshold of their bedroom. She was wearing an emerald green silk corset, which was fastened with at least fifty tiny white pearl buttons. From under the corset peeked matching little knickers with frivolous ties on the sides. Hermione's untamed chocolate curls, crimson red heels (ever Gryffindor) and a green lollipop, which she was holding playfully in her dexterous fingers completed the ensemble.

As Severus took in the sight of her, the glass with the Firewhisky slipped from his suddenly trembling fingers. The glass hit the floor theatrically, dramatically filling the air with peals of its last farewell. For a long minute, Severus simply could not breathe. However, when his little, naughty witch leisurely unwrapped the lollipop and then slowly and deliberately moved her pink tongue around its green, glistening, round body, before taking it wholly into her mouth, all the wizard's organs seemed to halt their functions at once. All but one.

Only his friend, as Hermione lovingly called it, was very much alive and ready to act, and Severus gave in. Emitting a low, animalistic growl, he launched himself toward Hermione's lips, devouring her sour apple flavoured mouth with vigour. Their bodies readily intertwined again and the lovers disappeared in their bedroom.

Shortly thereafter, Severus' desperate cry, "Bollocks! How many are there?" was heard, along with Hermione's answering laughter.

Then, a second later, Hermione's rapturous moans and Severus' satisfied grunts reverberated throughout the rooms.

"Hey! It's... not... fair," she managed to utter.

"I'll... deal... with... the... buttons... later... "

Those were the last intelligible sounds for a long, long, long while.

Postscript

There were seven different coloured button-down shirts in Hermione's wardrobe, all with identical pearl buttons, of course. Needless to say, our ever-thorough wizard painstakingly charmed each and every one of them. He wanted them to be impossible to unbutton (or to look strained, for that matter) by anyone other than Hermione and himself. It wasn't that he didn't trust Hermione; he did, ultimately and unconditionally. It was these naughty pearl buttons that he did not trust at all.

Besides, one wizard absurdly infatuated with pearls was quite enough for England for the moment, don't you think?