In the Dungeons
Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart
Chapter 4 of 20
SquibstressIf war is hell, Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall are in the Ninth Circle. During Snape's awful year as Headmaster, he and Professor McGonagall draw closer as they are forced into a desperate arrangement.
ReviewedChapter Four: In the Dungeons
Snape closed and warded the door to the Potions classroom. He was fairly certain Slughorn wouldn't come down there that evening謡orking after hours was not a habit of Horace's傭ut he wanted to ensure he would not be discovered. Besides, he thought, every student and staff member (save for a few Slytherins) would welcome a chance to catch the Headmaster alone and unawares.
Even more now, he thought bitterly.
He tried desperately not to think of what he had just done to a woman who, while she had never exactly been a friend, was someone he greatly admired and who had never shown him anything but kindness蓉ntil he killed Dumbledore, that is.
His thoughts raced as he searched the potions storeroom洋uch less orderly than when he was in residence here, he noted庸or the correct container.
First murder, now rape. What more will you ask of me? he silently railed at the gods he no longer believed in.
Enough. He had no time for self-pity. When had he ever?
His eye seized on a label, and he took the bottle from the shelf.
He uncorked it and brought it to his lips, then paused. Maybe I should just let things take their natural course, he thought. I deserve it.
As if in answer, his swollen member throbbed painfully.
He knew the effects of allowing the Engorgio Charm to go unchecked; he had seen the Dark Lord use it as a form of torture often enough擁t was what had given him the idea. Without a Deflating Draught, the blood that filled the spongy tissue of his penis would eventually clot, cutting off circulation to the organ, which would begin to die after a few hours. Within several days gangrene would set in, then septicemia, and ultimately death.
It was a supremely ugly way to die. Snape shuddered and downed the potion.
He had taken a great risk in using the charm; if he had not found the right potion to counteract it, he could not have concocted one fast enough to save function in his penis (he wondered idly why he even cared). Engorgio was not intended for use on human tissue, but there was no way he could have gotten an erection any other way under the circumstances. Failure on that score would very likely have resulted in disaster for him, and worse for Minerva.
Worse than what I did to her? he asked himself savagely.
A prickling sensation told him that the Deflating Draught was working and that normal blood flow was being restored to his member.
He hoped that the numbing and lubricating charms he had quickly and silently performed on Minerva had worked, and that she would suffer no ill effects as they wore off, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
He stood silently for a few moments, willing himself not to think of her. Then he removed the wards he had placed on the classroom and walked quickly away from the dungeons and his thoughts.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart
59 Reviews | 6.08/10 Average
I hope they both got what they needed from this encounter. I'm glad, too, that she stayed.
The situation seems so hopeless, especially when you aren't seeing any of it from Harry's POV. And the end ... It's a lovely idea. I hope it turns out okay.
It's too bad she doesn't have a girlfriend who is safe to confide in. I hope they leave her be as she really is dealing with it in her own way.
I love the honesty that continues to occur. And, them sitting down to a game of chess almost seems as if they are leading normal lives. Almost.
Interesting how different Albus and Minerva view their situation. And these two having to play act at sex ... I hope they can persevere.
Very well written & engaging. Love your Minerva, stalwart, compassionate, unbelievably strong. Excellent characterisation.
This seemed an unusually brutal and depressing sort of story, when I read the first few chapters, so I haven't been following it. (I'm a rather unsophisticated reader and usually prefer there to be at least some fluff.) But today it was rainy and dark, and I started your again and read it straight through. It's really brilliant--full of all sorts of wonderful bits, including particularly Minerva's sermon to her Gryffindors about rape, her friendship with Rolanda and Pomona, her conversations with Severus, the fact that Severus's memories of her faked subjugation distracted Voldemort enough to thwart Nagini's capture of Harry and Hermione, and her testimony before the Wizangemot. Your final chapter from Harry's viewpoint, illustrating the effects of her and Severus's many sacrifices, was a wonderful way to wrap the story up, and Minerva's transfiguration of her Order of Merlin was the perfect final note. Very nicely done indeed--it was truly a bitter story, but full of the sweetness of comradeship and honor.
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
It's certainly a brutal story in many ways, so I quite understand your reluctance to continue with it. Thanks for giving it a chance. I'm glad you enjoyed the remainder of the story, and thanks for the kind words.
An amazing story! Great job!
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
This is the first time that I have read MM/SS pairing that didn't disgust me. Usually, it seems so improbable and contrived due to the age difference, personality and other factors. Your excellent writing has made it seem a possible story development that is more than readable--it was very well handled.
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks for the kind words.
Wow, this is really heavy stuff. You are doing a great job of dealing with the characterization.
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks. Heavy indeed.
OMG--this is SO INTENSE! I can hardly believe you packed so much emotion into each chapter! Very well written--especially since it is such difficult subject matter.
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks. The story ended up being longer than I anticipated, so there was a lot of ground to cover.Thanks for reading.
I used to read nothing but HG/SS Fanfiction. I finally started branching out to other pairings and (not that this was a typical pairing story) it was one of the best ones I've read. Thanks!
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks for the kind words.Thanks for giving this a try. I tend to read mostly Minerva-centric stories, and it's always fun to branch out and read something a bit out of my usual circle.
Awsome safe word. Absolute genuis!
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Why, thanks!
Love the fact that they are able to be reasonable...affectionate even, after. And that he stopped. And that he found out she defended him.
Sounds like he had a crush on her when he was younger. :)
Hmm. Dumbledore needs to learn a little tact. :)
Well done. What a visual in my minds eye.
Thank you again for sharing~Elou
Holy mother uh pearl! Go Minerva! Damn, she 's one tough broad. *giggle* I'm not sure I could be as accommodating without developing an attachement for someone she obviously has respect for.
Thank you again for sharing~Elou
Now she is in charge it will help both of them cope, I suspect. :)
Poor Severus is a bit out of his depth! :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Severus is young and hasn't had much in the way of opportunity to develop normal relationships. I really feel for the poor blighter! Hope that comes across.
I wasn't sure about reading this story, but I'm intrigued. And reading. It's a difficult theme, and I can't see where it is heading, but hope travels with me, and I do hope that Severus wins out in his battles in your universe.
She's tough, perhaps even tougher than he is. :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Minerva is very tough--veteran of two previous wars, don't forget. Also, she's older and has a far broader experience of the world than has Severus, at least in my Potterverse.Thanks for reading and commenting!
Great chapter. Keep it up! :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Thanks, and thanks for reading.
Just what she needed. :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
I think the students love her a lot more than they ususally let on.
Aha. Knew he'd done something clever. :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of Because it is Bitter, and Because it is my Heart)
Yes. Magic is very useful, isn't it? ;-)