Chapter Five: Fine Food and Too Much Wine

Disclaimer: They all belong to JKR, although she might not want them back once she finds out what they've been up to.

Chapter Five: Fine Food and Too Much Wine

The sharp knock startled Hermione, despite her incessant clockwatching over the past half an hour and perfect punctuality of their guest.

"I'll get it!" called Harry as he crossed the hall to open the front door.

Casting a quick glance over the table set with a snowy white cloth and the best dishes, Hermione quickly checked the risotto for the fifth time in as many minutes and set a Warming Charm. Removing her apron, she turned in time to find Harry ushering Severus in through the kitchen door.

"Come in, sir. Hermione is just finishing up, aren't you, Herm?"

"Yes. Everything's ready." She reached up to kiss Severus's cheek as her own flamed with the knowledge that Harry was watching, a knowing smirk on his face. "Hi. Good to see you here, Severus."

Harry, having noted the older wizard's stiff nod and forced smile, excused himself to fetch some wine.

"Let's go through into the sitting room. The food will keep until we've made ourselves more comfortable." Taking Severus's hand in hers, Hermione led him to the couch where she sat and patted the seat beside her. "Sit down. You're making the place look untidy."

He sat, back straight and uncompromising, feet neatly together, and eyes watchful. Hermione smiled her reassurance and ran a hand lightly down his tense arm.

"We're not going to bite, you know, Severus. You can relax. You're among friends here."

His tension visibly diminished under the soothing influence of her touch. "I'm sorry, Hermione. Bad habits. This place... I always had to be aware. I was never particularly welcome here."

"Well, you are now," declared Harry as he entered the room, bearing a good bottle of red wine from the Grimmauld Place cellar. "I suggest we all have a glass of this and then some of whatever smells so delicious in the kitchen. I hope you realise, sir, Hermione has really outdone herself tonight. She must have really wanted to impress you."

"Harry!" Hermione slapped her friend's arm. "Don't listen to him, Severus; he's being a prat!"

Severus finally allowed a genuine smile to surface. "You mean you didn't want to impress me?"

"No. Don't be so daft. Of course I... You know what I mean." She glared at both the smirking males. "Ooooh! You two!"

The ice having been broken, Harry poured the wine and passed a glass to Snape. "Here, sir."

"Severus will do, Harry. You're no longer a student, and I am no-one's superior in this room."

"Thank you, Severus. Perhaps we should have a toast?" Harry suggested.

"What, to the future, friends, and so on?" Hermione asked, snorting at Severus' scowl.

"I was thinking more to no more school, for any of us!"

"For once, I find myself agreeing with Harry Potter." Severus quirked his lip as he raised his glass and added, "Of course, if you repeat that, remember I do have access to untraceable poisons."

"I could use some of those at work," muttered Hermione, emptying her glass in one large swallow.

"Please don't kill off your boss on my day on duty, Herm. It just creates a huge pile of paperwork," Harry whined. "You know how much I hate paperwork."

"I see the eloquence of the written word as yet escapes him," Severus drawled to Hermione, images of essays full of cross-outs and grammatical errors returning to torment him.

"Trust me; I tried for years to educate him, but the quill was never his friend." Hermione giggled at Harry's mock scowl.

"Does the Aurory not issue detentions for inadequate form-filling?" inquired Severus with a smirk.

"Now, that's an idea. I should send Head Auror Dawlish an owl. They could make Harry..."

"Oi! I'm still in the room, and I'll thank you to keep out of our department, Granger. If you want to sort anyone out, start with Reggie!" Harry suggested.

"And we're back to those untraceable poisons again," sighed Hermione.

Severus patted her hand, which had remained on his arm. "That bad?"

"Worse," she growled, then proceeded to explain exactly why.

After twenty minutes of mutual commiserations about lazy superiors, the trials of paperwork, and mediocre assistants, the three had cast aside any residual awkwardness and moved through into the kitchen to eat.

"Mmm. This is delicious, Hermione. Bacon, mushroom, and if I'm not wrong, a touch of avocado oil." Severus smiled contentedly as he pushed his empty plate away.

"Thank you. Of course, it would have been better if Harry had let me use the truffles and asparagus after an oyster starter." She almost kept a straight face as Harry glared in her direction.

"Oysters, hmm. A man could get the wrong message from that," Severus murmured.

"Oh, I don't think there would be any misunderstanding," she replied, meeting his eyes in a direct challenge.

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the charged silence lengthened and the unimagined became simply the unspoken. "Er... pass the salt please, Herm," he asked, smiling feebly as two heads turned at the interruption.

She shook her head and picked up the saltshaker, staring at it as if it was a two-headed flobberworm. "Oh... here. So, does anyone want any more wine?"

"I'll get it. We left it in the other room." Harry stood and immediately sat down again, his cheeks scarlet. "Perhaps I'll finish this first," he offered by way of explanation.

"I'm finished. I can retrieve it from the sitting room." Severus placed his knife and fork neatly on his plate and left in search of the wine.

Hermione shot Harry a curious look and hissed, "What's wrong with you?"

He lifted the tablecloth to reveal a distinct bulge in his trousers. "It's all your fault. All that innuendo and heated looks. I can't help it if it turned me on."

Hermione giggled. "Well, perhaps it's better you didn't let Severus see that; it could scare him off completely."

"What would scare me off? Harry Potter with an erection?" Severus had returned just in time to overhear Hermione's last words, much to Harry's dismay. "Good grief, woman, I spent seventeen years prowling the corridors of Hogwarts, finding students in all states of undress and arousal. You don't think a little bulge like that would scare me?"

"Oh, thanks. So much for supporting your fellow male," Harry grumbled.

"You're the one with the dirty mind, Potter. Although, I must say, I cannot fault the path it travelled."

Hermione sighed. "Men. One track minds, the lot of you! And here I was worried you wouldn't get on. Are you sure I shouldn't just leave you two here to chat? Maybe Harry could show you the collection of "art magazines" hidden under his bed, Severus?"

"Hey! You're not supposed to know they are there."

"Well, perhaps if you made your bed occasionally, I wouldn't see them sticking out from under the bedspread when I put your clothes in your room."

"I think she has you there, Harry. Here, have another wine." Severus poured two generous glasses and handed them to his hosts. Filling a third, he sipped slowly as he watched his companions.

Three hours later, the dishes were done, several empty wine bottles had found their way onto the coffee table, and Hermione was comfortably ensconced on the couch between the two dark-haired men, nearly asleep. Severus appeared unable to stop his hand from playing with her springy curls, and Harry was slumped with his head on her shoulder and his nose perilously close to her left breast.

"Sh'beautiful. Hermy has such nice titsh. Feel them, Sev, they're sho shoft." Harry ran his hand along Hermione's shoulder, down her arm, and across to caress the object of his attention.

"I don't think you should do that, Potter. She'll hex you." Severus was more articulate, but no less intoxicated.

"She didn't before when she showed 'em to me," Harry protested.

"Unfair. You've seen them, and I haven't."

"Here, let me show you," Harry offered, lifting the hem of her jumper.

The cool air drifting over her chest alerted the witch between them to the hungry gaze of two inebriated wizards on her skimpily covered breasts. Arousing as it was, she retained enough mental function to know encouraging them in their current state would only lead to embarrassment and recrimination in the morning.

Pushing down her jumper, she stood suddenly, staggering only a little, and managed not to laugh as the men slid towards each other without her support.

"Oh, Hermy, why'd you do that. Sev and I were jusht looking," Harry whined.

"I think it's bed time," she answered, hands on hips. Before Harry's mind wandered down the wrong track again, she added, "In our own beds. Severus, you're in no fit state to Apparate or Floo; you can stay here in your old room. Harry, go and check the bed is made while I find him some pyjamas."

"Pyjamas? Who said I wear pyjamas?" Severus asked. "Maybe I don't wear anything to bed."

"As interesting as that idea is, Severus, I will find you some pyjamas. Whether you wear them or not is your prerog... pregor... choice."

Within fifteen minutes, Hermione had tucked Harry into bed and was knocking on Severus's door.

"Come in," he called.

"Just checking to see you were okay," she replied as she entered to find he was already under the covers, pyjamas and clothes piled on the chair beside the bed.

"Don't I get a good night kiss?" came the soft query.

Smiling, Hermione moved closer, then shrieked as two long arms reached out and pulled her onto the bed to lie beside him.

"Ah, that's better. Now, about that kiss." His face was two inches from hers, warm breath ghosting across her cheeks. Closer and closer he came until his lips met hers in a gentle, exploratory kiss, tasting of wine and something altogether unique. Hermione's mouth opened a little as his tongue demanded access to sample her sweetness. Long moments later, she surfaced from a fog of desire and heat to find the thin blanket between them was doing little to conceal his lack of clothing, especially the hard evidence of his reaction jutting into her thigh.

Dragging her head away from his, she sat up on the edge of the bed, all previous expectations shattered by the intensity of one kiss.

"Tomorrow's another day, Severus, and I think we need to be sober before we take this any further," she whispered, reluctant to break the spell he had woven.

With a rueful smile, Severus nodded. "As usual, I can't fault your reasoning. Good night, my angel."

"Good night, Severus." Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, Hermione closed the door and leaned against its cool support for a moment. Leaving had been the most sensible thing to do, despite the clamour of her body to stay in his arms.

Hopefully, there was enough Hangover Potion in the bathroom cabinet for the morning. She suspected they were all going to need it.

A/N: This was written as a gift for southern_witch_69 in the 2010 SSHG Exchange on LiveJournal.

Many thanks to my beta extraordinaire, Karelia.