Chapter 2: Touched by Darkness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.

--

The white walls of the infirmary appeared even brighter than ever.

She blinked rapidly, clearing the sleep from her vision. Staring straight up at the ceiling, Hermione wondered for a moment why she was there. Everything in her head was still a little funny, and she had a niggling feeling her memories were temporarily being withheld from her. There was an all-too-apparent gap in her memories, making it clear something had been altered. She took a deep breath and used her arms to try and push up into a sitting position, her body falling forward awkwardly as she tried to push her pillows up with one arm behind her. When she was resting against the propped pillows, she breathed out and stared at the curtains around the bed she was occupying.

Questions were buzzing through her head. She couldn't for the life of her understand why she was in the Hogwarts infirmary. It had been seven years since she had graduated her seventh year, and the last thing she could recall before waking up was being in the library at Grimmauld Place, researching curses with Professor Snape and Luna Lovegood. She frowned deeply. It really was not polite of them, whoever they might be, to prevent her from knowing what she had done between that point and the point where she had ended up in the hospital wing.

Hermione thought about whether or not she should risk getting up from the bed for a few minutes before the sound of voices erupted somewhere up the other end of the infirmary. Deciding to stay put, she waited as the voices grew louder on their approach, and from what she caught of the conversation, they were most definitely talking about her. However, by the time the people reached the curtains surrounding her bed, their voices had dropped to whispers, and she could no longer tell what they were saying about her.

'You don't know what you are talking about, Snape!' said a male voice gruffly. 'I am a professional and have far more experience with Ministry dealings than you will ever have!'

The curtain suddenly flew open and revealed three men, including Snape, Mad Eye Moody and Arthur Weasley. She looked up at them in confusion and was about to ask why she was there but stopped when she saw Snape give her a strange look.

'Hermione, how are you feeling this morning?' Arthur asked gently.

Hermione stared at the man for a moment, taking in his slightly bedraggled appearance. He had dark smudges beneath his eyes, and his hair was not combed back neatly. His robes, too, were not exactly as wrinkle-free as they could have been. The man looked just like he had been put through the wringer recently.

'I feel tired and sore,' she croaked. Her hand immediately flew to her throat. It hurt as she had tried to speak. 'My magic feels drained.'

'Those symptoms are all very common considering what you have been through, Miss Granger,' Snape said, cutting across Moody who had opened his mouth as though he were about to speak.

'And just what have I been through, Professor?' she managed to rasp out before the need to have a drink of water became paramount.

'I'm not certain now is the appropriate time to discuss this,' Snape said before Moody could open his mouth to say something that would undoubtedly be rude or insensitive.

Hermione nodded, although she did not entirely understand why they were being so secretive. She imagined at least one of them had something to do with the reason for the missing part of her memory. One of them had either removed it or suppressed it, and when she was feeling a little less drowsy, she would demand to know why. Without saying a word, Snape walked to the set of drawers beside her bed and poured her a glass of water from the jug sitting atop it before handing it to her.

She looked up at him gratefully, taking a sip. 'Thank you, I needed that,' she whispered, attempting to save what little voice she had.

'I will send Madam Pomfrey in for a check up very shortly,' Snape said, shooting a look at Moody, as if daring him to make a comment.

That appeared to be the end of the visit, for all three men turned and made to leave the sectioned-off area that was hers for the time being. Before he left, Arthur Weasley looked at her once more with his sad, tortured eyes and followed the other two men back to the other end of the infirmary. No sooner did they leave before Poppy Pomfrey was bustling in with her wand in hand, fussing over Hermione every which way she was able.

'You were a right mess when they brought you in here,' Madam Pomfrey muttered under her breath as she went around the bed, waving her wand and checking Hermione's vitals as she did.

'How long have I been here?'

'Just two days,' the witch answered. 'But you'll be remaining in my care until I see fit to release you. After that, you will be Professor Snape's responsibility. Later this afternoon he will return to talk with you about the reasons why you are currently here.'

Hermione nodded and simply sat back, allowing the matron to do her job. The more easily she complied, the more likely it was she would get out of there sooner. After she had been declared physically stable, Madam Pomfrey finally left to order her some soup from the kitchens for her lunch. When it arrived a short while later, she ate it slowly, savouring the feeling of the thick, warm soup running down her throat and into her empty stomach. Apparently she had not eaten very much during her unconsciousness.

After her meal, she was drowsy once more and soon drifted off to sleep. When she awoke, she found she was not alone. Luna Lovegood was sitting in a chair beside her bed with a notebook in her lap and a pile of books sitting atop the set of drawers beside the jug of water. Hermione would have smiled if her muscles were not so tired.

'Hello,' Hermione said, gaining the attention of her companion.

'Ah, well, it's good to see you awake,' Luna said with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. 'I was afraid you might not wake up before I have to leave for the day.'

'You look tired, Luna,' Hermione said quietly.

'It was a very tiring past couple of days,' she answered with a soft sigh. 'I was told you don't remember what happened and that Professor Snape was going to see you to talk about it this afternoon.'

'I wish I knew what happened now,' Hermione whispered. 'I keep wracking my brain for the answers, but I come up blank every time.'

Luna nodded solemnly. Much of her dreaminess had faded away over the last few years, especially after the day Death Eaters had attacked her family home and murdered her father. Hermione found it sad to see someone who had been so content with her life become someone different in a single moment. Luna had always been smart, but now there was an element of sharpness to her that had been missing from the younger woman throughout their entire time at Hogwarts together.

'I wish I could tell you,' she said softly. 'It's not good, Hermione.'

Hermione nodded. 'I gathered as much when I figured out my memories were missing. Will you stay with me?'

Luna nodded and reached out to hold Hermione's hand sitting on the sheet covering her lap.

An hour later, they heard the doors to the infirmary open. The sounds of heavy boots accompanied by the clicking of heeled shoes made their way down the aisle toward Hermione's curtained space. Soon the curtain was drawn to allow both Snape and Madam Pomfrey to enter before it was closed again. Snape looked exactly as he had in the morning, his face was a mask of indifference, but his pitch-black eyes were alive with an unnumbered array of emotions.

'Miss Lovegood, you may want to leave for this,' Snape said quietly.

'Hermione has asked me to stay by her side,' she mumbled softly

'Very well,' Snape murmured, drawing his wand from where he kept it tucked up his sleeve. 'You may want to stand back momentarily, Miss Lovegood.'

Luna acquiesced and stood up, walking over to stand by Snape as he pointed his wand directly at Hermione. He stared into Hermione's brown eyes and saw nervousness, even a trace of fear, there.

'Are you afraid, Miss Granger?' he asked.

'I am a little scared,' she admitted. 'Will this hurt?'

Snape nodded minutely. 'It will hurt only slightly and will feel like someone is exerting a lot of pressure on your head. I bound your memories of the events two nights ago for a very good reason, so prepare yourself as best as you can for the shock.'

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. When she opened her eyes, she looked up at Snape and nodded. 'I'm ready.'

'Aufero Redimio,' Snape said in a clear voice.

A purple spark shot from the tip of his wand and headed directly towards Hermione's temple, where it entered. Hermione felt a terrible pressure in her skull, just as Snape had described. She grit her teeth hard, willing the pain to go away, but it was the least of her worries. For when the pain began to recede, the memories that were coming unbound were skittering through her head at an unbelievable pace. She could see the point where they were called away from Grimmauld Place to the forest where a battle had taken place. She saw the scene as she was sprinting as fast as she could through the forest towards her friends and fellow Order members. She could almost taste her fear and the adrenaline coursing through her.

Her fight with Bellatrix flitted to the forefront of her mind, the image of the witch being thrown hard against a tree filling her with pride for a moment.

But the next part of her memory was not a pleasant thing to remember. Her mouth was full of a bitter taste as she remembered being caught off-guard by Fenrir Greyback. He could have done anything to her: bit her, tortured her, raped her. Her disgust with herself was coursing through her as she remembered Greyback forcing his lips against hers and raping her mouth with his filthy tongue. It made her want to retch. The rest of her the scene began to unfold before her until finally the memory of him taking control of her via the Imperius Curse entered her mind.

She shivered when remembering the dagger he had slipped into her boot. The metal had been cold, but she had been unable to resist him. Her energy had been so low by that point that any attempts to fight him only drained her further. The moment in which Greyback delivered his instructions to her, however, was like a blow to her already-fragile psyche. She had killed Ron. She knew it even before the moment flashed; the shock and fear in his blue eyes made her eyes begin to water. She had killed her best friend, the young man she was certain she was falling in love with.

She began shivering and wrapped her arms around herself. Closing her eyes did nothing to ease the images or slow them down. A moment later, wracked with tears, she promptly leaned over the side of the bed and threw up the meagre contents of her stomach. She vomited until there was nothing left in her stomach to expel.

She barely noticed when Luna rushed over to sit behind her and rub her back, embracing her and holding her hair out of her face, which was covered in a mixture of saliva, tears, and mucus, a small dribble of vomit trailing down her chin.

'I killed him,' Hermione sobbed, her cries becoming louder and her breath coming rather frantically. 'I killed him.'

She sobbed until there were no tears in her body left to cry. She didn't want to open her eyes, but as she lay on the bed, sniffling and hiccoughing, someone passed a wet washcloth over her face to remove the mess. Hermione felt her heart clench hard within her. Her whole life had been turned upside down.

Even as she drifted back into unconsciousness, there were only two things on her mind: Ron's empty, blue eyes staring up at her, and the word 'murderer' imprinted into the very fibre of her being.

--

A/N – Introductory chapters are now done. On to the real story.