From Madness to Darkness

A/N: I am so grateful and give a huge, deep thank you to the extraordinary, one and only gem of a writer and exceptional, generous reviewer Fairfield, whose feedback and questions have allowed me to experience further levels of writing and who has gently nudged me and inspired me to finish this tale, which I've been wrestling with since falling in love with the Harry Potter universe many years ago. Again, thank you for everything!

Disclaimer: The wonderful J.K. Rowling owns everything...the Harry Potter fandom/Potterverse fandom. I do not own the Harry Potter fandom, nor the characters in it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

* N & R *

Remus immediately loosened his clasp on Nagini.

Fuck... Oh, gods... She's injured... "Where does it hurt? Your back?"

"It doesn't matter," she said quietly, laying on her side, facing him.

He looked around and leapt to the en suite, looking around urgently. He could make out her robe and towels but no other accoutrements or toiletries were visible. Accio Dittany!

There was the sound of glass bumping against other glass and rustling from within a drawer in a cabinet before it opened, and a small brown bottle flew to his hand.

He crossed back to Nagini and instructed softly as he showed the bottle of brown liquid, "Essence of Dittany. Take off your top."

"No. He...they don't allow any wounds to be healed."

Knowing it was futile to ask who they specifically were, he swallowed hard. "Well, they are not here."

"I must be scarred... The scars must show... And the pain must last... be continued."

He crouched down beside her bed, his head level to hers, and whispered fiercely. "I need to find Dumbledore, but first," he gently touched her finger with the charmed family heirloom ring, "while you were unconscious at Alphard's, Dumbledore spelled this to be a Portkey. It must be placed in the palm of your hand, and then the phrase spoken, and then you'll be transported to his quarters at Hogwarts."

"The phrase?"

"Chocolate-Frog girl."

She gave him a weak smile and held his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It will take a Portkey stronger than this to help me escape away from him. Far, far away."

"Then, we'll get one, a more powerful one," he said grimly, "and we'll go far, far away. Over sea, over land..."

He watched her as she sat up and unbuttoned her top from the front. As she reached the stiff-necked, high-collared blouse and unclasped it, his jaw muscles clenched, seeing fresh bruising around her neck, as if she had been grabbed and strangled. He felt the blood burn in his veins as she fully took off her outer blouse, leaving her bustier that revealed her shoulders marked with cuts and burns. He could barely speak but managed to rasp out, "Lay down."

She complied, laying face down, and he sat down beside her and ever so slowly unclasped her bustier in the back. It was not a surprise that his fingers met damp flesh, wet with her blood from what appeared to be freshly lashed wounds reopened. He hissed as he carefully peeled back the undergarment as these fresher, open wounds were intermingled with older, welted ones.

He gave a glare at Voldemort's mark on her now bared left arm and took a deep breath to control himself as he opened the Essence of Dittany and started to apply drops, one by one, over the tears of flesh.

As he got to her lower back, he saw that the lash marks continued to her buttocks. "Nagini, I must..." He gently unclasped her skirt and tugged the cloth back and downwards. His mind was in a roaring whirlwind of thoughts and impulses to immediately find and strike out at any and all as he recapped the Dittany and non-verbally summoned her robe.

Hoarsely, he instructed her, "Here, put this loosely over your front. Your skin needs to breathe."

She slowly complied and asked him in a weak tone, "Could you give me a glass of elixir from that bottle? I'm so thirsty."

Remus followed her look towards the left and saw a bottle of dark liquid on top of a tall side table near the room's French doors. From the built-in shelves he took a small goblet and poured some of the content. His nostrils flared as he registered the sweet, aromatic fragrance filling the air.

"What is this?" he asked, sniffing the bouquet deeply. "I don't recognize the aroma."

"It's a special restorative elixir, much like a sweet Blood-Replenishing Potion blended with a Strengthening Solution. It revitalizes me." She raised herself to sit and drink from the goblet.

Remus couldn't help but notice her nudity, only her robe was crumpled and loosely covering her lap and legs. Nagini seemed oblivious as she drained the cup dry and asked for more, adding, "Its bouquet is a mixture of purple thorn blossom, snake fang, and a bit of salamander blood."

"Who brewed it?" Remus asked offhandedly, knowing the intricacy and skill involved for such potions.

"A friend," she replied quietly.

"Snape?" he blurted out before he could think.

She gave him a small smile, answering, "No."

Lupin's curiosity was keenly piqued. "Who then? Someone I know?"

Nagini cocked her head, her expression going blank. "I don't believe you do, actually. Or you wouldn't recognize him if you did... just someone who scurries in and out, once and a while." A far away look passed over her gaze. "He helped me... He tried."

"How?"

"It doesn't matter now. His help was detrimental... to him as much as to me. Just as yours might be... and just as futile." She struggled but managed to say, "These recent lashes were because I acted upon his help..."

"He tried to help you escape? You can't give me a name? Is he a member of the Order?" Remus demanded tersely.

She shook her head as he brought her the second goblet full and suddenly offered, "Try some. It's quite restorative. It'll increase your energy."

Flustered, he swallowed hard, noting her bare shoulders, and lowered his eyes to her breasts. He gave a fleeting glance to where the robe was barely covering her lower abdomen and thighs and felt momentarily lightheaded. "Perhaps a sip."

The elixir had a bittersweet taste, not unpleasant, but it seemed to course through him at an unnatural speed. "It's quite potent, isn't it?"

"Yes," she replied luxuriantly and slowly lay down on her side again, causing her robe and skirt to fall completely off, revealing her full form.

Remus slowly took in her breasts and ribcage, her lean abdomen all the way down to her soft, fuzzy triangle. "I think...," he attempted to utter hoarsely even as he took another deeper swallow of the drink, "I think you should get some sleep... and tomorrow..."

He was finding it hard to concentrate on what he wanted to say. He rubbed his forehead briskly. "Tomorrow, Dumbledore has his Wizengamot sessions as the Chief Warlock. Can you come there? Get away from the Department of Mysteries? It'll be crowded all day. I'll be there and can signal to you...we can accidentally on purpose meet."

She didn't reply, and he slowly lay down on his side beside her, face to face. He placed his hand delicately on her waist even as she mirrored him, her touch on his hip causing a tingling sensation to shoot through him. She closed her eyes as if riding a wave of pain, and he asked, "Nagini, will you meet with me? See if Dumbledore will help you? Please, I need... I want to help you."

"Helping me is futile... I told you, once touched, unredeemable..."

He bit his tongue. I don't believe that. I can't! "Nevertheless..."

"My ring." The deformed heirloom was glowing. "Someone is coming!"

Remus scooted off the bed just as he heard Sirius' laughter match with Rookwood's in the outer ensorcelling room.

Remus whispered fiercely, "Can you get away from Rookwood tomorrow? From the Department of Mysteries?"

She nodded.

Adamantly, he repeated, "Meet me. During the lunchtime breaks, level ten, the Wizengemot dungeons where the trials are held." He barely had got this out when Augustus and Sirius entered the bedchamber.

"Lovely news, Moony. We've been invited to a party tomorrow evening...a very special one."

Rookwood gave Nagini and Remus a smug smile as she covered her nudity with her robe, saying, "Sirius has told me of your interest, Lupin, in finding work as a liaison of sorts for your kind. There will be a gathering, a revelry of sorts of the Knights of Walpurgis in preparation of the upcoming Hallowe'en festivities," purred Rookwood. "Masked and cloaked all must be. Anyone can show up, perhaps a very special guest of honour."

"Voldemort?" quipped Remus brashly.

"The Dark Lord," corrected Rookwood. "You will need to mind your manners, Lupin, if the Dark Lord will make an appearance; rumour has it he doesn't take kindly to rudeness... Don't speak unless spoken to, yes? And if you still wish to offer your services perhaps... Well, is that still your intention, your true intention, Lupin?"

"Lots of ifs and perhaps, aren't there?"

Rookwood smiled coyly. "Yes. Makes life more interesting, doesn't it? All sorts of scenarios could play out... depending on your true intention, Lupin," he repeated slyly and gave Nagini a look.

Remus cleared his throat and answered humbly, "Yes. Yes, it is."

Augustus sniffed and smirked. "Very well. Tomorrow evening. Nagini can bring you with her from the Ministry, and then we'll all Floo together."

"To where?"

"Oh, dear, that's for me to know, and you to find out. Don't you trust me, Lupin? Your mate, Sirius, does...implicitly."

Rookwood gave another glance to Nagini laying on the bed. "But, no promises. One can never tell what kind of mood it will be or what sort of turn of events will occur at these gatherings. And the Dark Lord... Well, he may be feeling quite patient and generous, or he may not. He has been known to have quite sadistic tendencies, and rumour has it that he indulges behaviour of that sort." He gave a knowing look to Remus, saying, "But this is something that you know about first hand, isn't it, Lupin?"

Was he there when Nagini and I were tortured that night so long ago? Remus raised himself to his full height, his fingers itched to pull his wand out and hex the ever-living shit out of Rookwood, but he took a deep breath and merely nodded.

"Very well, gentlemen, let us let Nagini have her rest; it'll be a long day and evening tomorrow. And I have my other guests to get back to here. Unless you want to stay for the full evening soirée, boys?"

Sirius gave Augustus a cheeky grin. "Absolutely! Are you game, Remus?"

"No, I have to... I thought...Sirius, I thought we'd be leaving together."

"Now, now, Moony. I'm a big boy; I can get home by myself...or not. Might have to sleep over. Augustus?"

"Plenty of room for you, Sirius. Sleep with whomever you like, right?"

What's he playing at? Remus' thoughts raced. I need to find Dumbledore, and I need to find him now!

"Be good lads, and just wait outside." He motioned to the outer room. "I need to speak to Nagini privately for a moment."

As they shuffled into the ensorcelling room, Remus gave a heavy look back to Nagini, who gave him a small smile, and then she turned her head away, giving her full attention to Rookwood as he closed the French doors.

Remus turned on Sirius, snapping, "You trust him?"

"As I trust you."

"Really, Padfoot? How the fuck can you say that? You're saying you don't trust me?"

"I'm saying that anything is possible."

"What?"

"I know in your heart... in your heart there is good... always good." Sirius touched Remus on the chest, apparently for emphasis. "But... there is also emotion, passion beyond control... and no, I don't trust that. Nor should you."

"Thanks for nothing."

Sirius grabbed Remus by the face and gave him a fierce kiss on the lips just as Rookwood was coming out of Nagini's room.

Augustus seemed highly amused as Remus shoved Padfoot away, whispering huskily, "Fuck you."

"Later, Moony. For now, you were leaving, yes?"

Remus gave a terse look towards Nagini's chamber. Something was off. He didn't want to leave, but... He had to find Dumbledore, and Sirius wasn't helping, acting like a prick, more than usual.

As they slowly followed Rookwood back to the front entrance, Sirius said in a low voice, "Don't worry about her, mate. You're too close... too vulnerable. And you wonder why I suspect you of being a spy? Why you're not Secret-Keeper material?"

Remus flicked his wand discreetly, non-verbally casting a Muffliato.

"Don't...don't you fucking dare bring that up now!"

"Now, now, don't get your knickers in a twist..."

"You're intentionally pissing me off when everything is hanging by a fucking thread?" Remus felt like he was about to explode; he could feel his veins and muscles pulsating. "Are you fucking mad? You're not here just to wank off with your old flame Augustus, right? Don't talk to me about who is the least trustworthy. Wasn't very hard to switch sides in the second, was it? Missed your old posh cuss after all?"

Sirius snorted and grabbed him. "The moment you saw her again, you were utterly whipped, untrustworthy, mate! Were you about to screw her while Rookwood and I watched? Who's calling the kettle black?"

Remus shoved him, but Sirius only held on to him and jibed, "Voldemort uses tricks, jinxes, and blackmail to get people to join him. You really think you're strong enough to face him, mate? Pussy whipped as you are?"

"Shut it, Sirius!"

"Just find Albus or Alastor and update one of them, you bloody berk."

Remus whipped his wand sharply, releasing the Muffliato and roughly shoved Sirius away in his frustration. Fuck you, Sirius!

He heard Augustus' amused laughter as he exited, slamming the door behind him.

* R *

It had been a miserable remainder of the night.

Remus had Disapparated to The Burrow in a desperate search for Dumbledore, only to find out that Albus had just returned to the Ministry. Fabian and Gideon Prewett were missing, feared dead. The Auror Department on full alert. Remus left a hysterical Molly with her husband comforting her and promised to return as soon as he made contact with either Moody or Dumbledore.

He Flooed to the Ministry, hurried to the Auror's office, and when entering, he came upon a dishevelled Alastor being calmed by Dumbledore.

"Remus, where's Sirius?" snapped Moody.

Flustered, Remus shook his head. "With Rookwood."

"Alone?"

Remus nodded. "He insisted. He wanted to, um, infiltrate the male pureblood gathering that's going on there fully."

"And you, Remus? Why would you leave him there?" asked Dumbledore, peering over his half-moon spectacles at him.

"I wasn't wanted. He wouldn't leave, and I need to speak to you, sir, privately. Urgently."

"Urgently? Fabian and Gideon. They've gone missing. That's what's urgent, lad, in case you didn't fucking understand," growled Moody.

"Yes, I've just come from The Burrow." Remus ran his hand through his hair in agitation.

"Minister Bagnold has given the go. Kill on sight," informed Albus quietly.

Moody briefed, "Five Death Eaters have been spotted in the north, near Hogsmeade. Near where the twins were last seen. One of Voldemort's top henchmen was clearly identified: Antonin Dolohov."

"Dolohov?" Remus scrunched his face in anger, registering the highly-skilled, sadistic murderer's name.

"Let's go, lad."

Remus couldn't help but to hesitate, repeating, "Albus, I must...I need to talk to you."

"Is it so urgent? More than Order members' lives, Remus?"

"It may cause harm to them and many others if not addressed...everything is culminating, sir, intertwining. Sirius and I are to be received at a Death Eater's gathering tomorrow night, a Knights of Walpurgis revelry, but Voldemort is sure to be there..."

Dumbledore's face grew grimmer, and after a few seconds, he said, "Very well. Alastor, go to the others. Remus will head north and meet up with you all at the Hog's Head. Leave word with Aberforth if plans have changed and where Remus should go."

Moody gave a grunt and left.

The older wizard watched the Head Auror leave and then said quietly, "Now, tell me everything."

As Remus gave details, Dumbledore listened, stone faced.

It seemed like several minutes went by before the elder wizard fragmentarily uttered that he would make contact with a Squib who sailed the SS Mediterranean, currently docked in London, or perhaps not. He would look into alternative possibilities and leave instructions by tomorrow noon, for Nagini's eyes only, in his Chief Warlock's chamber's at the Ministry.

But for now, Remus was much needed elsewhere. Duty called.

* R *

Outside the Wizengamot trials, Remus sat on a corner bench, fatigued, watching the crowded space full of wizards and witches scurrying to and fro from the courtrooms.

He was exhausted from the evening's patrol; he'd maybe slept two hours on some benches pushed together in Moody's office earlier before hurrying down to await Nagini meeting with him. Alastor had stayed north of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade with an Auror unit and sent Remus back to inform Dumbledore that they were holding their position and that neither Dolohov and company nor the Prewett twins had been found.

Just as he had given up on her showing up, Nagini appeared on the far side of the room. He stood and gave a sharp nod of his head towards the side hallway closest to him.

The dimly lit corridor led to the inner chambers for Wizengamot members. As he went further down the hall with the light sound of footsteps heard behind him, it led deeper and deeper downwards until he stopped at a corner door where the corridor then seemed to sharply turn upward at a steep angle, as if leading directly into a larger chamber far above. Remus didn't look back or speak a word, but instead pulled out an oversized key and opened the inner chamber, which was none other than the Chief Warlock's. He stood behind the door, holding it open until she entered.

He swiftly shut the heavy wooden door and locked it from inside. A golden light flared up and around the entrance, a Shield Charm of sorts, barricading anyone from entering. He looked around and waved his hand to light more of the sconces in the bare room, save for a desk and a large ornate chair, a wall bench, and shelves of parchments from floor to ceiling on two walls.

Remus and Nagini stared at each other; only their breaths were heard until he broke the silence.

"You look rested," he noted, surprised at how fresh and energized she appeared when compared to last evening.

"You look exhausted," she replied softly.

"It was a long night. A bloody, hard night." He blinked at her and swallowed hard. He caught sight of her décolleté blouse. Her chest was heaving up and down; she was breathing fast, as if she'd run a great distance. She's crackling with energy!

"Dumbledore? What did he say?" she asked breathily, snapping him out of his gaze.

He became overwhelmingly aware of how fagged and mesmerised and muddled he felt and tried to keep focused. Accio message!

From the shelves and shelves of ancient and more recent parchments, a small scroll flew forward. Remus caught it and slowly handed it Nagini.

"Just give it a tap and it'll unscroll for you. But don't...don't tell me a word that's in it or show me the content."

Nagini did as instructed and read:

There is a golden Horklump in the heart of the Blackthorn tree near the fairy circle of yew trees in the Forbidden Forest where as a student you picked Horklumps for Herbology class.

Tap this parchment to confirm that you have read and understood the content.

Nagini placed the parchment on the bare desktop and tapped it. She gave a startled cry as it crackled in flames and burnt itself to nothing.

She turned to Remus, who had sat on the old wall bench and was rubbing his face, as if to keep himself awake. She thought about how intensely and thoroughly Dumblededore had used Legilimency on her the night before.

Dumbledore knows my Animagus form...he has seen all from his penetration of my mind, my memories!

"Is it acceptable? What he proposes?"

She nodded slowly, sitting down beside him, still mulling over the message.

Yes... transforming into my Animagus should be the cleverer way to sneak out... but I've already tried once, just two days ago with the futile help of Peter... Her back twinged at the memory of being caught and lashed by Malfoy in front of the Dark Lord in the ensorcel circle at Rookwood's until she couldn't move. She had a vague foreboding and closed her eyes to search deeper into her psyche for any imagery, any clear clairvoyant sign.

"What is it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"You seem," Remus hesitated, "you seem more like your old self today. Fresher, sharper, somehow." Even in his tired state, he couldn't help but add huskily, "Beautiful as ever."

"The magical wonders of a peaceful sleep." She gave him a small smile. "And thinking of you, waking or dreaming."

He took her hand in his and gently rubbed it, trying to keep a dull but quickly growing awareness of how turned on he was around her at bay. Still. In spite of everything. In spite of all the madness we're caught up in. It was beyond his control.

"And then, the Dark Lord, he is distracted...," she whispered dreamily. "His attention is released from me temporarily. I have more freedom of mind, of action, peace of mind...I feel...I see things clearer."

Whimsical ideas ran through Remus' mind; he huffed and said bitterly, "Shall we make a run for it? Or take me to him now; I'll duel him to the death for you. For your freedom."

"He has an army of quite devoted followers. I would not have you sacrifice yourself so when my brave Gryffindor deserves a fair fighting chance." She gave him a soft peck on his cheek, and with a sad smile, she touched his face, stroking his hair lightly. "You're delirious, exhausted."

At her touch, he shut his eyes and winced momentarily. "Not much sleep. I was searching all night for..."

"Shhh," she whispered and reminded him, "Don't tell me anything."

They pressed their foreheads together.

He suddenly felt a weight leave him and had the impetus to say, "My whole world is unravelling before me, crumbling around me; everything and everyone I was certain of, I now doubt. Only you seem clear to me. But I'm in the dark, a dark place, and incapable of helping you how I wish..."

"You've helped me so much, Remus." She shushed him again and began to place soft kisses on his face. "You've given me a chance. Another chance."

She was unnerving him. Am I trembling? He was so very much starving for her touch, her kisses, yes, for her, but he tried to maintain control. "You'll definitely take it? Whatever Dumbledore has offered?"

"It's conditional... but yes, if opportunity arises, yes."

Conditional? What condition? He looked at her tensely and suddenly had a wild impulse and felt like he was never going to see her again. "If we made a run for it, how far could we get?"

She gave him a tight smile. "Not very far."

Then he felt the touch of her lips again. This time on his lips. He was so bloody exhausted of everything, mentally and physically, except for a sharp heaviness, an aching in his groin, which...as he reciprocated her kiss hungrily...exploded like crackling flames throughout his body. He was groaning, "Oh, god"...Or is she moaning as well? Together?...as he groped and clasped her to him. Everything was in a blur; he could only register that she had curled around him, clinging. Oh fuck, she's straddled me? Yes!

His hands were feeling downward, shimmying over her curves to under her buttocks; he firmly grabbed hold of them and held her in place, welcoming her grinding movements on his cock. She was holding his face as their tongues searched and explored each other.

His erection was hardening, the acute pain growing, needing release. He broke away from her lips and clumsily reached up to unclasp the frontal buttons on her blouse. He nuzzled her breasts with his lips and mouth, desperately seeking for a nipple to suckle. Finding one, he swirled and teased it until the rosebud formed a sharp point, and as he swiftly nipped and focused and sucked on the other one, Nagini's writhing and undulating was beginning to make his breathing hitched and erratic.

"Nagini?" he rasped.

"Remus?" she whispered.

He waited in excruciating expectation. A spasm ran through him as he felt her slowly unhook his belt buckle and pull the leather apart from the metal. As she kissed him, panting hard in between each contact, her hands continued to undo his trousers, and then he felt her fingertips pull down his underpants and guide his hardened cock out. She gave him a juicy kiss and slinked downward between his legs. He was gasping in irregular breaths as he watched her take his cock in her mouth and lick and suck and swirl her tongue around and around. She began to take him deeper and deeper, only to pull her head away and then tease him again, increasing her sucking tension in between nipping and licking his bent-up cock.

He felt his balls begin to tighten. No!

In a flash he had pulled out of her mouth and swooped down to the floor beside her, on her. He was searching her mouth with his tongue, guiding her downwards, pressing his full weight down on her, placing himself between her legs, grappling with her skirt, raising it, lowering his trousers, tearing her knickers aside, his cock at her entrance, pressing as gently as he could, entering her, probing slowly in and out. But as she wrapped her legs up and around his waist, the heels of her boots digging into his lower back, he lost control, sensing an overwhelming need to rut, urged on by her clasping him to her and whispering heatedly in his ear, "Please, I need you inside me. Fuck me."

He pushed and pressed himself deeper and deeper inside her, sheathing his rod to the hilt, her wet folds and heat squeezing him so tightly he felt he would explode inside her there and then. No! He wanted to savour this as much as possible. He slowly pulled out of her; she whimpered, and he sheathed himself again halfway in her hot cunt only to then take his thumb pad and determinedly tease and rub her sensitive nub in circular motions while fucking her playfully, as best he could control, for he had the impulse to ram her hard and deep and mercilessly.

But first he wanted her pleasure; he wanted her to come with raw need from his haptic ministrations. He lowered his head and whispered, entreating her, "Release yourself."

As his thumb pad pressed against and around her swollen clit harder, her vaginal muscles were clenching his cock tighter and tighter, pulling him into her, demanding he fill her fully and fuck her. She began to grind her cunt against him in harder and more articulated undulations as he kept his pressure on her clitoris steady and rhythmic. He watched as she suddenly froze, her face an exquisite moue of orgasmic intensity. He caught her mouth with his as he thrust his cock further inside her, thrusting upward and deeper. A frenzy took over them, and they both began to grind and fuck each other in a wild and delirious state. "Fuck me, Remus!" He felt her fingernails digging into his back. "Dominate me!"

He immediately complied, unleashing his instincts; his torso's full body weight pressed upon her pinning her down, and only his rhythmic thrusting into her cunt increased in speed and force. He lost himself in her tight heat and wetness, pumping in and out, faster and deeper with each thrust. Her encouraging moans caused his own deep guttural utterances to usher forth in carnal bliss. He was grinding into her in circular, sharp motions, screwing her cunt deeply, pounding her fast and hard. Then she convulsed in pleasure, crying out his name in orgasm, her clenching quim squeezing him so fiercely that he jerked sharply, ramming in and out of her until, in blind ecstasy, he spilled his seed deep within her.

* R *