Opening Night Jitters

Original Prompt: Snape still has some lingering side effects from Nagini's bite. One of them is that he loses his voice easily and often. He and Hermione are having a conversation, when his voice goes out at a very bad/frustrating/dangerous moment. What are they talking about? Why are they even having a conversation? It's all up to you!

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Saturday morning, Severus awoke from pleasant dreams that still tickled the edges of his brain. After the war it had taken several years for pleasant dreams to re-enter his psyche, and he savored them. He knew Hermione had been involved in this dream, but the details were growing fuzzy. As he lay there trying to capture the essence of this dream before it was lost, a sense of dread and foreboding washed over him.

He rose quickly and made his way to the bathroom mirror. What was wrong? He saw nothing to cause alarm, just his usual reflection looking back. Although he did notice that his expression appeared nervous, and he commanded himself to relax. He mused darkly that his normal visage should be enough to frighten Hermione and wondered again what she found attractive about him, aside from his voice.

Severus' lack of self-awareness had missed the subtle changes that had enhanced his appearance in recent years. No one would ever consider Severus classically handsome, but the same way his demeanor had changed after the war, shedding his vindictive, petty behaviors, so had his appearance.

Since he was no longer pulled in so many directions, he managed to take much better care of himself. The fact that he no longer played a role he dreaded and was no longer bent to the will of two masters had also made a difference in his appearance.

The distinctive contrast between Severus' pale complexion and his black hair and eyes had always been compelling. He had never realized that his intense black eyes were attractive, whether they flashed with anger or amusement, especially since he no longer required the use of Occlumency to keep his emotions hidden. This fact also saved him a tremendous amount of stress.

He was cognizant of the effect his voice had on members of the fairer sex. It had pleased him how Hermione had reacted to his voice last Sunday, when he had asked her to dinner. He fully intended to use this advantage tonight.

At that moment a realization struck him. The dread he was feeling was connected to his voice. His throat felt swollen and constricted, and when he tried to speak he found that his voice was quite hoarse. Then it squawked and broke like a hormonal adolescent. Of all the times for such a thing to occur, he hadn't experienced a return of the latent symptoms from Nagini's attack in ages.

Feeling a sense of panic, Severus quickly changed from his night shirt and Flooed directly to the hospital wing. The Floo to the infirmary was supposed to be for emergencies use only, but Severus wanted to avoid the possibility of running into Hermione in the corridor.

Madam Pomfrey rushed out of her office in alarm upon hearing the Floo. "Severus, what is wrong?" she exclaimed.

"My voice!" Severus managed to squawk out.

Poppy stood there for a moment while trying to process the situation. It had been at least two years since Severus had experienced any symptoms related to that wretched snake attack. It was certainly not an emergency deserving the use of the Floo entrance, and Severus was well aware that there was no treatment for this ailment, except to rest his voice. A couple of days, and his normal voice would return.

Poppy approached Severus and placed her hand up to his forehead. "Have you experienced any signs of a fever?" the Mediwitch inquired. A fever heralded more severe symptoms, including potential delusions, but that had been the rarest of Severus' infrequent, yet lingering, symptoms.

"No," Severus managed to say in a gruff voice. Crossing his arms and glaring he looked and sounded like a petulant child.

Most of the hospital wing beds were vacant, but Poppy decided that they needed some privacy and ushered Severus into her office. "Have a seat, Severus," Madam Pomfrey directed. Severus complied, but Poppy remained standing, because that brought her into direct eye contact with the Potions master. Putting her hands on her hips, Madam Pomfrey was beginning to make Severus feel like a child. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, as he realized that he was probably over-reacting. "Now, what is going on this morning? Perhaps you should start at the beginning," Poppy prompted.

He just glared at her, and she glared right back. In spite of his cracked voice, and in an effort to salvage what he could of his dignity, Severus continued to glare at Poppy as he spoke. "When I awoke this morning, I discovered that I had lost my voice, yet again. It has been a significant amount of time since I last suffered this indignity. I thought that, perhaps, there had been some new break-through in treatment that you were aware of. I know there is no such advancement in Potions, so perhaps you've heard of a charm...." Severus left the sentence hanging in the air and looked quite put out.

"Severus Snape!" thundered Poppy. "I have known you since you were a wee lad of a first year. Once a student, you are always a student in my book, young man, so you can drop your intimidation act, Severus. It won't work on me. You know quite well that I would have shared any news of magical medicinal advancements with you immediately. You come flying into my infirmary in a state of panic and causing an uproar. I have my suspicions as to the cause of your panic, but why don't you just humor me and give me your version? All right, young man?"

Realizing the magnitude of his misjudgment, Severus backtracked. "Forgive me, Poppy," he began. "It has been so long since I've had to deal with this indignity. I'd forgotten what it felt like to have my voice crack like some first-year," he managed to hiss out with an air of injury.

"Hmmm, this wouldn't have anything to do with not wanting to sound like some first-year, during dinner with Hermione this evening, now, would it, Severus?" Poppy inquired enigmatically.

Severus gaped at her. "Does everyone know my private affairs?" he final croaked out.

"What would it matter if we did, Severus? You want to know something else I know? Hermione has been hoping you would ask her out for ages. She told me so herself. So don't you even think about canceling tonight on account of your voice," Poppy finished.

"She likes my voice," Severus stated dejectedly. Poppy could feel the petulant child returning in Severus' whine.

"Who doesn't like your voice?" Poppy responded to an incredulous Severus. "Oh, come on now, I might be old enough to be your mother, but I'm not dead, Severus. You have a voice that could melt chocolate. That is when you're not cutting those around you to shreds with it. Be assured that Hermione sees far more to you than your voice. Now go... do whatever you had planned for today. Make time for some extra rest and then enjoy your evening, the same as you had already planned. Consider that my professional advice. And Merlin help you, Severus, if I have to lend a kind ear to Hermione because you canceled dinner all over your embarrassment about your voice. That would be just ridiculous of you."

Severus stood up and glared down at the Mediwitch. "Poppy, it seems that both you and Minerva are much too concerned about my friendship with Professor Granger." Severus' voice cracked worse the angrier he got.

"Severus, stop acting like an arse! Haven't you learned by now that your pride is a costly extravagance?" Poppy snapped back.

"I'll keep your advice in mind," Severus spat out with a less than intimidating squeak. With a heavy sigh, he exited Madam Pomfrey's office, headed out the main doors of the Hospital Wing, and ran directly into Hermione, literally. Grasping her by the arms in order to keep them both from stumbling, he looked her in the face with consternation written on his own.

"Severus, it seems you are always there when I least expect it, these days." Hermione managed to say, in spite of her genuine surprise at running in to him.

She hadn't expected to see him before that evening, and Hermione was mesmerized as various expressions passed across Severus' face. He was normally so guarded, and it often took time for Hermione to read his mood. It was obvious that he had left the Hospital Wing in a huff. Their head-on collision seemed to cause Severus surprise, embarrassment and then fear, before he managed a more familiar, if rather guarded expression.

"Is everything all right, Severus?" Hermione asked with concern.

"Just fine," he expelled, while his voice managed to both squeak and crack. Severus felt his hands ball up in fists, and he squeezed his eyes shut with frustration. He knew he had to calm down or it would only get worse and last longer if he didn't.

"Severus?" He heard the concern in her quiet question and forced himself to open his eyes and look directly at Hermione. "Are you ill?"

Rather than answer verbally, he shook his head no. Hermione now looked puzzled as well as concerned. With a sudden flash of understanding, Hermione knew exactly what the matter was.

"Severus, you're having one of those episodes where some of the symptoms from Nagini's attack return. Aren't you?"

He nodded his head in affirmation this time, and the corner of his mouth quirked up a bit in amusement. He knew it wouldn't take Hermione long to figure out what was going on. Hermione's quick mind was a major part of her appeal to Severus. And he had spoken to her about these relapses quite some time ago.

"Are you in any pain?" Hermione queried with a look of concern again. Shaking his head in the negative again, Severus was pleased by the full wattage smile she flashed him. It appeared that Hermione was quite concerned for his comfort and that gave him a feeling of pleasure. "That's great!" she continued. "So there is no need to change dinner plans?"

Well, perhaps Hermione's concern was not totally altruistic but, Slytherin that he was, Severus couldn't fault Hermione's self-serving angle. Plus Hermione's desire to keep their dinner plans told Severus that she was looking forward to the evening he had planned. Still, he felt that Hermione should have the opportunity of a graceful exit, as the dinner circumstances had changed due to his current ailment.

"I doubt that I'll be a good conversationalist tonight. I'll understand if you would prefer we reschedule our dinner." Severus managed to get the words out amongst all the squeaks and squawks his voice was making.

"Nonsense," Hermione retorted. "As much as I love debating the finer points of almost anything with you, Severus, for tonight we will just have to keep the conversation to a minimum." Hermione blushed a deep pink upon realizing the way her comment may have sounded to Severus. In turn this brought a knowing smirk to his face, causing her blush to deepen. "We'll manage just fine, I'm sure. I'll see you at seven."

Severus gave Hermione what he hoped was a warm, sincere smile as his answer. Hermione continued on into the Hospital Wing obliously a little flustered at their exchange as Severus headed back to the dungeons. He briefly wondered what her business was and whether it was with Poppy. For his part, Severus knew that he was returning to the dungeons far happier than when he had left them. He also knew that Hermione was entirely to thank for that.

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Seven o'clock found Severus at the entrance to Hermione's living quarters, which were located on the seventh floor, close by the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. Just as he raised his hand to knock, the door opened, and Severus found himself face to face with none other than Neville Longbottom.

"Hello, Professor," Neville greeted in a cordial manner. "Hermione told me that she was expecting you. I was just leaving. Goodnight then." With that Neville took off down the corridor, not waiting for a reply from Severus.

Severus watched Neville disappear down the corridor as he headed around a corner that led to a staircase to the lower floors. He still envied Neville his close friendship with Hermione and was glad that Neville had not expected a verbal response to his greeting. He really didn't want that particular dunderhead to hear his currently impaired speech.

At that moment, Hermione appeared at her door. "Severus, I thought that was probably you. I heard Neville speaking to someone when he left. Will this be warm enough for our mystery location tonight?" Hermione held open her arms so Severus could see the lovely dark green, velvet robes she was wearing. A thick wool cloak in a deep grey color was draped over one arm, and an ivory colored cashmere scarf and matching gloves set were held in her other hand. But Severus' attention was drawn to her hair. She had left most of it down, and it fell in a riot of soft unruly curls. A section of hair from either side of her face had been secured in the back with one of her sturdy hair pins, keeping it from falling forward to obscure her vision, as well as the view of her face.

Severus hoped his smile spoke of how lovely he found her appearance. He fully intended to use as few words as possible tonight. "Indeed," he answered her query.

"Are you going to tell me where we are headed now?" Hermione asked as she slipped a hand through the offered crook of his arm.

"Patience," was Severus' one word reply as he gave her a cheeky little smirk. Enjoying the feel of her hand on his sleeve, he used his other hand to pull her arm through his until they were linked arm in arm. Then he proceeded down the corridor at a much slower pace than usual.

Severus led Hermione toward the north end of the castle while he listened to her one-sided dialogue. Apparently, she would be true to her word from their meeting outside the infirmary earlier that day, and she would do her best to provide all the conversation for the evening.

"Neville just had to bring his latest letter from Luna to share with me. She has been awarded funding from the Ministry to conduct research in the Forbidden Forest. The project will involve Hogwarts quite heavily. Luna will be provided residence here at the castle, and she will work directly with the Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures departments. The Ministry wants a complete catalogue of all the flora and fauna of the forest. Luna is thrilled to have the opportunity of identifying new species through the process.

"It is really quite interesting, don't you think? I wouldn't be surprised if you don't benefit from some of her discoveries, Severus." Hermione looked up to find Severus looking at her with amusement. He raised an eyebrow to communicate his opinion to her. "Oh, you be that way. Just wait, you may find yourself having to take that smirk back," Hermione admonished.

Severus longed to tell Hermione that he doubted anyone could completely catalogue the Forbidden Forest. Only the Ministry would have the presumption to try. Plus he thought the veracity of some of Ms. Lovegood's discoveries would certainly bear a second opinion. Wrackspurts, indeed.

They had progressed through the castle far enough for Hermione to realize that they were not headed for Entrance Hall with its main exit of the castle. With a curious look, she stopped Severus to inquire, "We're not headed for the Astronomy Tower, are we? Even with these cloaks we'd freeze trying to have dinner up there at this time of year!"

This earned her a raspy little laugh from Severus. "Patience," he repeated. A few minutes later found them at the base of the Astronomy Tower. "Trust me," Severus stated as Hermione again gave him a questioning look. He hadn't realized until that very moment how much her trust meant as he followed her up the tower stairs.

Most people might wonder that Severus would want to use the site of one of the greatest tragedies of his life for a romantic dinner. Severus knew that Hermione Granger was not one of those. Shortly after they formed a friendship, Hermione sensed Severus' aversion to the Astronomy Tower during a shared evening patrol. Hermione had been methodical in facing her post-traumatic war problems and had learned many tools for addressing them. She doubted her chance for success in getting Severus to a psychologist's office and decided to share what she had learned with him, if he would ever let her.

Hermione shared the Muggle concept of post-traumatic syndrome with Severus, and she told him about aversion therapy. The mere fact that Severus had listened to her, even under the context of learning what Hermione had done to move past her war scars, showed her a degree of trust she hadn't expected.

Eventually, Hermione upped the ante. On an evening patrol she had confronted Severus about how she suspected the Astronomy Tower affected him. When he started to bluster and blow, she had reached out to place a hand on his arm and effectively stopped his tirade mid-stream. "Severus, nothing will ever erase what happened that night, or what you were forced to do. You are free, however, to create your own future. You can build new memories on the Astronomy Tower. Good memories. I'd like to help you, if you'll let me. In time you will have both the good and the bad memories, and the tower itself will, hopefully, lose the power to invoke just one emotion in you."

Severus gave Hermione no response that night. She took not hexing her as a positive sign. A short time later, Hermione noticed that Severus was finding many reasons for going to the Astronomy Tower, both with and without her, during the day and at night. Even Minerva picked up on the change. Hermione heard her asking Severus about his new routines. "I thought you avoided the Astronomy Tower, Severus?" Minerva queried one day at lunch.

"Lately, I've found an appreciation for the view, Minerva. Did you realize how well one can follow Quidditch practice from that perspective? You might want to consider looking in on the Gryffindor's practice sometime soon. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I was quite appalled at their efforts last week."

As was his aim, Minerva became indignant at Severus' criticism of her team and took to arguing their merits, the Astronomy Tower completely gone from her mind. Severus turned toward Hermione at that moment to share a small smirk, and she knew that he had taken the matter of the Astronomy Tower into his own hands. It made Hermione's heart glad to see Severus letting go of past demons.