Offering Olive Branches
Chapter 2 of 6
blackeyedlilyOriginally written for 2008 SS/HG Exchange. Severus Snape unexpectedly survives Nagini's attack due to the aid of Lucius Malfoy. Now that he has outlived both his Masters and the promises that drove his life for the past 18 years, what is his purpose? How does he find meaning in life and learn to love beyond his previous life of guilt and penance? A special thanks to Little Beloved for lending her beta skills.
ReviewedOriginal Prompt: Snape still has some lingering side effects from Nagini's bite. One of them is that he loses his voice easily and often. He and Hermione are having a conversation, when his voice goes out at a very bad/frustrating/dangerous moment. What are they talking about? Why are they even having a conversation? It's all up to you!
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Once Harry learned that Severus Snape had actually survived, he knew he would do everything in his power to clear him of the charges being leveled at the surviving Death Eaters. He owed this man more than he could ever repay, and yet, he had left him for dead on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Guilt did not sit well with Harry Potter.
Between Harry's testimony and Severus' memories, all charges against Severus Snape, the war crimes and the murder of Albus Dumbledore, were dropped. In fact, the Wizengamot was recommending Snape for an Order of Merlin, First Class, for Outstanding Bravery and Lives Saved. It made Harry grin to think about it. That was, until he thought about how Professor Snape would feel about having his memories made available for the Wizenmagot and other Ministry officials to view.
It was for this reason he was currently urging Hermione to accompany him to Malfoy Manor, to return Snape his memories. They were sitting in the kitchen of Grammauld Place where Kreacher had taken time from his dinner preparations to serve tea. The old elf practically glowed with joy now that Harry had taken up residence there. He had even found a way to get past his prejudice of Hermione's background, treating her with almost as much deference as he did Harry.
"Come on 'Mione," pleaded Harry. "I need to do this before I lose my courage."
"Are you sure you shouldn't wait? Give Professor Snape some time to adjust to all of this." Hermione gestured to the copy of the Daily Prophet lying open on the table.
The front page showed a prominent picture of Snape scowling up at them. It was the same picture the Prophet had used last year when they had announced that Snape had been appointed headmaster of Hogwarts. The caption under the picture read: All Charges Dropped: Severus Snape - Latest War Hero of the Wizarding World. The accompanying article highlighted the outcome of yesterday's trial, including the lifetime love Snape was alleged to have for the deceased Lily Evans Potter. It was due to this love, the Prophet continued, that Snape had begun to work for Dumbledore as a spy against Voldemort, so he could protect Harry. It included Harry's quote, "Professor Snape is one of the bravest men I've ever known," and mentioned the campaign to have Snape awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class.
"Harry, he is going to be furious about having his private life so publically revealed," Hermione exclaimed.
"I know," Harry whispered, looking contrite. "At least he's going to get the Order of Merlin!" Harry brightened, and his voice gained strength at the hopeful thought.
"That's what has me worried. Remember how furious he was when Sirius escaped and he lost his chance of getting a medal? He was so angry that he outted Remus as a werewolf. You are well aware of his temper. He is such a proud man, and so intensely private," Hermione emphasized, gesturing toward the paper on the table again.
Harry shot the paper a disgruntled look. "I have to return these memories." Harry's voice had a whining edge to it. "It would be rude to just drop them off. I have to let him know how much I appreciate everything he did, even if he did hate me, and resent having to do it all."
"Okay, okay, you need to return the memories as soon as possible. Tell me why you need me, instead of Ron, to go along. I really don't fancy a visit to Malfoy Manor, especially to visit an angry Professor Snape," Hermione questioned.
"You know Ron always hated Snape, almost as much as I did. Well, his opinion hasn't really changed much, even knowing the truth of Snape's allegiance. One day during the hearing, he even told me he didn't know why I was trying so hard to defend him," Harry explained. "When I asked him if he didn't feel bad about us leaving him for dead in the Shrieking Shack, he said, 'No, I don't.' He said there was so much blood coming out of Snape's neck, and since we still had to figure out how to get a clear shot at Nagini, why would we have stopped to try and help the git? Plus for all we knew Snape WAS a bloody traitor."
Hermione blanched as Harry recalled Ron's tirade. Her own guilt over leaving him for dead was one of the things haunting her nights. "Alright, I'll go, Harry," Hermione said in a rather shaky voice. "Let's just be quick about it, okay? If I have to go back to Malfoy Manor, I want the visit over as quickly as possible."
"Of course. I don't fancy going back there either. Maybe we can erase some demons today while we're at it. Just let me fetch the memories from upstairs, and we'll be off. I knew I could count on you, 'Mione. You always had something to say when Ron and I were bashing Professor Snape, even after Dumbledore's death. I remember when you had a problem with me calling Snape evil. Who would have known you were on to something there?"
Harry smiled as Hermione rolled her eyes at him. What he didn't see was how she dropped her head to the table as soon as he left the room. This was going to be a long day.
~~~~~~
Close to an hour later, Harry and Hermione Apparated to a footpath in the Wiltshire countryside, a couple of miles away from Malfoy Manor. The late summer morning was warm and lush. The country lane was alive with birds, bees and small animals. Bushes and brambles were filled with the riotous color of wildflowers, whose scents drifted through the warm, lazy air. The atmosphere lifted their spirits. They had agreed that the walk would prepare them for the meeting. It was after all likely to be a stressful event.
This was the first time Harry and Hermione had been completely alone in several weeks. A flurry of activity had taken place on the heels of the Battle of Hogwarts. This had included funerals and celebrations, plus a certain amount of accounting to the new Minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Others, including the Weasley family, Order of the Phoenix members, and Hogwarts staff, finally learned the truth behind the trio's exploits of the last year.
As soon as the most pressing of these activities were fulfilled, Hermione and Ron had traveled directly to Australia to locate her parents. Hermione had been so grateful when the Grangers were located quickly and their memories were restored. She had often worried that she had done something wrong in the memory modification, or that she would be unable to locate them when everything was over. It had been one of her greatest fears over the past year.
This wasn't to say that everything had gone smoothly. Once the Grangers knew their true identity again, they had become quite angry. They felt that Hermione was wrong to have not given them a choice in the situation. They appreciated the gravity of the danger and why Hermione had taken the actions she had, but they stood their ground on the idea that the ultimate choice should have been theirs to decide. Hermione promised that she would never again act in her parents' interests without their consent. Rebuilding trust in their daughter would take the Grangers time.
Then there was the matter of leaving their new practice and lifestyle in Australia, and re-building in England again. In her fear, Hermione had neglected to realize what a tall order that was. One does not simply sell off a dental practice, built up over many years, to leave the country and then return and pick back up where they left off. Luckily for the Grangers, along with the judicious use of a well placed Confundus Charm by Hermione, they managed to repurchase their old practice back.
Hermione decided to move back to her parents' home for the time being and rebuild her relationship with them, now that she was a young adult witch. She hoped this would help to rebuild their trust in her. After all, they had spent very little time together in recent years, and Hermione needed time to think about what she wanted to do next. Thoughts about her future had been overshadowed while Voldemort lived.
"Hermione, what is going on between you and Ron?" Harry's voice broke through her reverie as if he had been reading her mind.
"I wish I knew," Hermione stated in a sad, quiet voice. "I thought when the war ended that we were finally going to become a couple. He was so sweet about going to Australia and helping me find my parents, but he got so mad when I moved home with them. I explained to him that it wasn't as if he and I had planned to move in together, or get married straight away. Well, ever since then he's just been icy," Hermione sighed. "Then the two of you got those offers for the Exhibition Quidditch Tour, and I've barely seen him since then, EXCEPT in the Daily Prophet," Hermione finished. A glance over at Harry's red face told Hermione he knew exactly what she meant by that last comment.
"Harry, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know what's going on. Ron's a war hero, best friend of the Savior of the Wizarding World, and now a bit of a Quidditch star. Since the aforementioned Savior can't keep his eyes off a certain red-headed witch who seems to be at every game," Hermione stole another glance at Harry's blushing profile, "Ron has become quite a catch.
"I'm sorry, Hermione, but he'll come to his senses. You'll see," Harry encouraged.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Harry. I know Ron thinks I rejected him when I moved home, which is just silly. And we both know how much he loves to be the center of attention, and I...," Hermione broke off. "Mom saw how unhappy I was and introduced me to a good friend of hers. It seems that Mom and Dad have an informal network with other Muggle parents. Mom's friend is a psychologist with a daughter in Ravenclaw."
"I've been seeing her these past couple of months, and it has been a big help. I've talked to her about the war, and I've talked to her about Ron, too. I'm starting to think that Ron and I were never very well suited. We just wanted to think we were. It's probably better this way." Hermione sighed. "I just want us to remain friends. Both of you are family to me."
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry stated. "I had hoped this walk would give us a chance to relax before we arrived at Malfoy Manor."
Hermione looked up to find that the gates to the Manor were looming right ahead of them. She stopped and turned to Harry. "Just answer me one thing, Harry, before we head in there," Hermione queried. "How are things going with you and Ginny?"
Harry gave Hermione an ear-splitting grin, which put the sappiest expression she had ever seen on his face and was all the answer she needed. "Oh, I'm so glad, Harry," Hermione exclaimed. "You both deserve so much happiness together."
"Thanks, Hermione," Harry replied. "Whether things work out between you and Ron or not, you deserve someone worthy of you. Don't settle for anything less, okay?"
"Yes, Harry," Hermione assured him. "I know you're right." She stepped forward and gave Harry a quick, tight hug, to show him that she appreciated his concern. "Let's get this over with."
Hermione approached the gates, intent on figuring out how they opened, but they simply melted away. "I'm not sure if this is a good omen or not."
"Think on the bright side. At least there will be no Fenrir or Bellatrix today," Harry offered.
"That's the silver lining I've been looking for," Hermione said as she shook her head.
~~~~~~
Harry and Hermione were both quiet and reflective as they walked up the manor drive. They each had their own demons regarding their previous experience at the manor to battle. On reaching the entrance, Harry reached out to grasp the ornate silver snake-shaped door knocker, but before he could knock, the door was wrenched open, and they found themselves facing an elderly house-elf with a rather fierce expression on his face.
"Welcome to Malfoy Manor. May Baggins help you?" the elf bellowed out in a voice not unlike Kreacher.
"Yes, Baggins," Harry replied to the elf. "We have an appointment to see Professor Snape. My name is Harry Potter, and this is Hermione Granger."
"Follow me, please," Baggins commanded as he turned and trotted down the hall leading away from the foyer.
Harry and Hermione followed the elderly elf down a hallway and away from the drawing room, which was located directly across from the foyer. The drawing room had been the scene of that night of terror, torture and fortuitous rescue. Harry saw Hermione glance across at the closed door, which led to the drawing room, and gave an involuntary shudder. He was relieved that they were not headed in that direction.
The light in the hallway they were traveling was muted, and the walls were lined with the portraits of Malfoy ancestors. As Harry and Hermione continued to follow Baggins, they heard the low rumble of the portrait occupants muttering to each other. It gave them a feeling of unease and discomfort. At last, Baggins stopped outside of an open door, which was flooding the hall with natural light from exterior windows.
"Master Harry Potter and Miss Hermione Granger have arrived, sir," the elderly elf announced, bowing low as he signaled for the guests to enter the room.
"Welcome to Malfoy Manor. It is not every day that we have the pleasure of hosting such lauded war heroes. At least . . . not lately," came the greeting from a chillingly familiar voice.
Hermione had taken several steps into the room and then found herself taking a step backwards, right into Harry, as she realized that Lucius Malfoy was the man addressing them. The room they had entered was a spacious library, light and airy, with floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with leather-bound tomes. It was the type of room that would normally bring Hermione pure joy, expect for the man standing in the middle of the room next to an antique burled walnut desk. While Harry was used to seeing the senior Malfoy at many of the war trail hearings and was well aware of the details of his probation and house arrest, Hermione had not had such an adjustment. It felt wrong to see a former enemy, member of Voldemort's inner circle, standing there in his immaculately tailored robes as if no ill had befallen him.
Malfoy's upper lip curled, and his cold grey eyes narrowed momentarily as he noticed Hermione's reaction to him. Yet, he quickly regained the composure of a perfect host. "You have nothing to fear, my dear. I swear I mean you no harm. After all, you won, we lost. It is time to move on and let bygones be bygones. If it is any comfort to you, I couldn't harm you if I cared to. As Mr. Potter is more than aware, I am under constant supervision by the Aurors." At that statement, Malfoy looked up and around the room as if he could see invisible specters watching him.
"We are here to see Professor Snape, Mr. Malfoy," Harry intervened. "I did receive a reply to the owl I sent. It told me that we would be able to meet with him this afternoon."
"Of course, of course," Malfoy continued. "I am ever so grateful to have been of service to dear Severus. He is just like a member of our family to us. It was truly quite a miracle he survived at all, having been left for dead like that. My private Healers have been quite industrious on his behalf. However, his recovery is painfully slow, I'm afraid. Nasty beast, that Nagini was." Malfoy shook his head, looking quite solemn.
"Can you believe you are Severus' first visitors? It's almost as if the entire wizarding world left him for dead, and after all he's done. Well, I expect that will change now." Lucius indicated the current Daily Prophet on the desk beside him. "Do you think we will be flooded with invitations for the new War Hero?"
"Mr. Malfoy," Harry spoke up again. "We really can't keep you any longer. If you would just direct us to where we can find Professor Snape, we won't take up any more of your time."
"Certainly," Lucius answered smoothly, as if oblivious to Harry's obvious effort to quit his company. "Baggins will show you to the conservatory."
The house-elf entered the room at the mention of his name, as if he had been waiting for them just outside the library.
As Harry and Hermione turned to follow Baggins, Malfoy had one parting shot. "Harry, when next we meet, I insist that you call me Lucius. You are no longer a boy, now, are you? Ms. Granger, an honor as always."
~~~~~~
"What a horrible man," hissed Hermione as she and Harry followed Baggins yet again. "How could you listen to him and respond without exploding?"
"I've had too much time in his presence lately to let him ruffle me. He is desperate to find a way back into wizarding society right now. He'll say or do anything he thinks may help him, and it wouldn't do any good to rise to his bait about the Professor, either. He just wants us to remember that he rescued Snape."
"Why, Harry," Hermione exclaimed. "I think you are growing up!"
Harry gave her a smirk and rolled his eyes.
Just as they were beginning to wonder if the hallway would ever end, the old elf turned to them and pointed. "Just through there, miss, master." Baggins gave another bow and was gone in a pop.
The conservatory they entered was warm enough to be almost oppressive. The room was so filled with greenery, they saw no sign of human life. Then, from the back of the room, a young woman in Healer robes rose from a wicker rocker.
"May I 'elp you?" she inquired, an air of surprise evident in her decidedly French accent.
"We are looking for Professor Snape," Harry informed her.
" 'Vell, you have found him." She indicated with a nod toward a reclining chaise lounge a short distance from the chair where she had been sitting.
As Harry and Hermione crossed the room, they envisioned the last time they had seen their professor, lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. The invalid before them was pale and gaunt with sunken eyes. In spite of the warmth of the room, he was surrounded with pillows and covered with several blankets.
"Severus," the Healer spoke as she laid a hand on his arm. "You have guests."
Snape opened one eye, focusing it on Harry. He closed it again and rasped out "Potter," in a hoarse whisper, so unlike his customary velvet voice.
"Good to see you too, sir," responded Harry in a friendly manner. Hearing this, both of Snape's eyes flew open. Once properly focused on Harry, he raised one eye brow in such a patented Snape mannerism, Hermione had to fight the urge to laugh out loud.
Instead, she found herself exclaiming with enthusiasm, "It is good to see you, sir."
Snape's focus shifted to Hermione. His voiced squeaked out a surprised, "Granger?"
After a few moments of simply staring at them, Snape managed a raspy, "Where is the third member of the Triumphant Trio?"
"We are not attached at the hip, Professor. Ron is currently touring with a Quidditch Exhibition on the Continent," Hermione stated, a decidedly bitter edge to her voice.
Snape gave her an oddly appraising look before rasping out, "Perhaps you do have the brains everyone credited you with, after all."
Unsure of how to response to this odd praise wrapped in an insult, Hermione stared at the floor to avoid further eye contact. Snape's words were as mean as ever, but they lacked any real edge of anger. Perhaps he was just too weak for such strong reactions, Hermione mused.
"Sir," Harry spoke up. "I've brought your memories so that I can return them to you." With these words, Harry held up the glass container Hermione had Conjured that day in the Shrieking Shack.
If it was possible, Snape paled even further and blinked rapidly several times. Recovering quickly, he responded with, "No one left to share them with?" Yet the remark lacked the caustic sting Harry had expected.
Placing the flask of memories on the table next to Snape, Harry plunged forward with what sounded like a well-rehearsed speech, intent on getting through it as quickly as possible.
"Professor, I can never thank you enough for sharing your memories with me. Without them, I would never have known what I had to do. I owe my defeat of Voldemort to both you and Dumbledore.
"I understand that I had no authority to share your memories, but I couldn't let them convict you of war crimes, or of Dumbledore's murder. I know now how you have constantly put your life on the line for me, for us...," Harry gestured between himself and Hermione, even though Snape appeared transfixed by the memory filled flask, "for the entire Wizarding World.
"You were in no condition to speak on your own behalf. I had to decide if honoring your privacy was worth the price of letting the Ministry send you to Azkaban before you even regained consciousness. Public pressure was calling for the blood of any and all surviving Death Eaters. I doubt you would have survived one night in Azkaban. I'm afraid you have enemies on both sides, Professor."
Upon hearing this last statement, Snape, who was still staring at the glass-encased memories, let out a soft snort.
"I had hoped to share your memories only with Minister Shacklebolt," Harry continued. "He was able to stop all the action the Ministry was taking against you. However, several committees of the Wizengamot insisted on a personal viewing before they would formerly drop all action to convict," Harry finished.
Snape finally drew his eyes away from his memories, looking Harry directly in the eyes. Much to Harry and Hermione's surprise, Snape quietly uttered in his raw voice, "I'm sure you did everything you could."
At that moment, the Healer stepped forward and spoke to Harry and Hermione, who had forgotten her presence. "Mister Snape must rest now. Perhaps you could return another day?"
"I would like to meet with you again, sir, once you've had a chance to gain more of your strength," Harry stated.
"Is there a chance I can stop you?" Snape quipped back, but his barb lacked venom.
"I doubt it," Harry replied with a grin.
Hermione looked from Harry to Snape with disbelief. It was as if the two had forgotten their well-defined roles and gone off script. "Have I entered some parallel universe?" Hermione queried.
"Grow up, Granger," Snape retorted. "The war is over, and I'm tired." Closing his eyes, Snape effectively dismissed his guests.
Harry and Hermione quietly exited the room, resolving to find their own way back to the main entrance so they could avoid any further contact with Lucius Malfoy.
~~~~~~
In the conservatory, the Healer retrieved her wand from her pockets and ran a series of diagnostic spells over Severus. Believing him asleep, she left the room to retrieve various potions for when her patient woke.
After listening to her retreating footsteps, Snape opened his eyes and reached for the container filled with his memories. He examined the swirling mists for a few moments. Then, with all the strength he could muster, he threw the glass container. It landed on the marble floor with a satisfying smash. The glass was splintered into shards, and the gaseous liquid spread quickly, with a portion of the contents evaporating straight away.
Lucius Malfoy raced into the conservatory through a doorway on the far side of the room. Severus realized in an instant that Lucius had been listening to his meeting with Granger and Potter. "Severus!" he exclaimed with alarm. "Aren't those your memories?" It was obvious that there would be no way to salvage the silvery mess on the floor.
"Those damn memories have run my life for too many years," Severus stated with obvious bitterness. "I'm far better off without them." Severus closed his eyes again, and this time drifted right off to sleep.
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Latest 25 Reviews for An Unexpected Purpose
50 Reviews | 7.1/10 Average
Wonderful story, glad to have run across it.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Well, thank you very much! It is fun to get a review from something that's been done a few years now.
Moar fluff! Moar fluff! Lol. Very cute little story, I enjoyed it. I'd love one more chapter though! LOL.
I'm glad he got rid of the memories. From what I understand they are not truly gone now anyways, but much more faded and fuzzy. Anyways, onward!
EXCELLENT!!!
This story is fantastic...
I would love to read a sequel---
the end? are you serious? there was no conflict or anything. you should totally write more.
I'm glad you shared your story with this archive. I enjoy SS/HG stories with a happy ending and you did a good job with this one.
Thank you for such a wonderful final chapter. I see a great future ahead for Hermione and Severus (with several little Snapes along the way)!
Beth
I'm glad that Severus took Hermione's advice to built happier memories associated with the Astronomy Tower, and I'll bet the ones they make tonight will be the best of all!
Thank you for another great chapter.
Beth
Well it certainly looks like Severus is all ready to be the perfect host to Hermione.
I had to laugh at his childish taunting of James when he was at Harry's home. Old habits die hard, but perhaps after the help Harry has been to him, he will be more attuned to being around the Potters and able to let bygones be bygones. Little James is not his grandfather James, after all.
I enjoyed the give and take between Severus and Harry over a few glasses of Ogden's Special Reserve. And finding out that Draco was doing so well was nice, too, Great chapter!
Beth
"Ah ha, Watson. The game is afoot."
I'm so glad Minerva keeps an "amplified ear" out for the goings on in the school. Now Severus knows that Hermione is interested in him and only him.
Next up, find Potter and enlist his help with planning the perfect date. Will there be a few bumps along the way to bliss? Probably... this is Snape were dealing with here, and angst is his middle name. LOL!
I'm off to the next wonderful chapter!
Beth
I think destroying his returned memories may be one of the smartest things Severus has ever done... other than creating the antivenin to Nagini's bite. And Hermione seems to have been genuinely happy to see him. Good!!!
Beth
This is a great introduction to your story. I can't wait to see how everything works out with Severus, Hermione, and the Malfoys. I'm off to chapter one.
*grinning*
Beth
Aww, loved that last line. Such a romantic first date. Where can one find one of these Severus Snapes for oneself?
Perfect! I wouldn't have changed a single word:)
Brava!
Fizzabella
Perfect! I wouldn't have changed a single word:)
Brava!
Fizzabella
I enjoyed this. Thanks very much : )
LOL. "It was about time he found a good use for Potter!" ??? I bet Harry would NEVER have expected this!
This is terrific:)
Fizzabella
Brava!!!! The healthiest thing he could do!
Warm regards,
Fizzabella
this is going to be fun!
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
I'm so glad you think so! The next chapter is in the queue.
Great chapter, I like the fact that Severus is so gobsmacked with what Minerva is telling him that. We don't often get astonishedSnape.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Thank you! I always imagine that those two could have a good friendship, due to their respective personalities. Especially if the subterfuge issues of the war and spying weren't in the way.
Nice beginning of story so far. I really hope you'll continue. I loved DH but any chance I get to read an EWE which gives snape a better ending is always wellcome. And you've a nice writing style, which is great!
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Thank you for your generous opinion on my little story. It will go on to Chapter 5. I choose to believe Snape survived Nagini, as we have no body, portrait or burial in DH, and so many convenient ways to resurrect him!
oh dear, poor severus. stupid voldemort, stupid disgusting nagini. Excellent.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
yes, stupid voldemort, stupid, disgusting nagini, but severus is ALIVE!Thank you.
Response from mimmom (Reviewer)
YAY! I know. I just feel so angry that JKR would make such a great character and give him such a stupid death.
Oh, I love that he destroyed his memories! And Baggins... *snort* Great name for a Hobbit... I mean House-elf.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Really, who would want those memories! I'm afraid Baggins was the result of my lack of imagination. Some authors have come up with some very inventive names for house-elves. Alas I was clueless, but a hobbit seemed closer to a house-elf than Tolkiens elves, so...
Wonderful opening chapters. Really looking forward to more.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Thank you for your positive review. There are five chapters in all.
Sigh. Lucius really is not doing well playing Harry. And I'm glad Hermione realizes she is better off without Ron. Wow, I can see Severus not wanting those memories back.
Response from blackeyedlily (Author of An Unexpected Purpose)
Yes, Lucius is desperate to regain his status and going about it all wrong. I'm definately no fan of the Ron/Hermione pairing. And thanks, I thought Severus could make a better fresh start without the ghosts of his past.