The Proof of the Pudding
Chapter 9 of 12
duniazadeTrust Luna to marry someone who doesn't exist.
ReviewedThe Portkey had dropped them off directly onto the Persian rug in the Scamanders’ living room.
Sprawled on the sofa, glass in hand, Harry swirled the amber liquid, sniffed it appreciatively and let his eyes wander again over the place.
The room was of generous proportions and, despite the good amount of cosy furniture, chintz and china, looked airy. The large French windows, facing southwards, opened directly onto the lawn, letting the sun flood in.
Tea had been served for Hermione and Porpentina, while Ron and Harry had been left in possession of the vast sofa, the coffee table, a lavish assortment of sandwiches and a tall unlabelled bottle of what was... the best Firewhisky I’ve tasted in ages, thought Harry, taking another sip. Old Newt’s research on Fire Slugs is definitely paying off.
Ron, eyes half-closed over his own tumbler, was humming tunelessly, right forefinger tapping the rhythm on the arm of the sofa. At his feet, three Kneazles played with something that bounced, giggled and looked like a silky black Puffskein.
At the other end of the room, Hermione and Mrs. Scamander were bending over a thick sheaf of papers spread over the desk.
They must have been at it for hours, thought Harry. The light that fell through the great windows on the vast rug at his feet was already oblique and had woken up the figures in the thousand colours of the woven forest. Deer, rabbits, lions and stranger beasts slunk through the trees, while the hunters checked the strings of their bows and spurred their horses.
The Kneazles seemed to have noticed too. Their play was quicker, more excited and, between two gentle jabs at the black Puffskein, they tried to grab the animals in the rug. Finally, the Puffskein, still giggling, rolled at Ron’s feet. He bent, grinning from ear to ear, and tickled the soft fur.
An excited squeak from Hermione drew Harry’s sluggish attention.
“... so, in a topomantic approach of non-inclusive logics, he results from a double negation and so to speak, doesn’t doesn’t exist?” she said, beaming at Porpentina.
Tall, dark-skinned and wrapped in saffron robes, Porpentina Scamander looked both majestical and motherly. Her black hair was tied high on the head, but the forest of multicoloured quills pinned through the two-tiered bun trailed low on the nape of her neck, quivering at every movement. As Harry looked, she took out one of them and drew an intersecting circle through Hermione’s diagram.
“You could use that expression for a wider public and draw a parallel with the distinction between the unobservable-in-principle, or unobservable absolutely, as distinct from the relatively unobservable; it would perhaps be preferable to say “unexists,” though, of course, only the symbolic expression is adequate.” The older woman drew a series of scribbles under the diagram. “From a cosmological angle, it’s not so much a displacement in Riemannian space as a materialization of the piercing through folded multi-dimensional space and time; but it’s better to envision it as a congruence under certain assumptions taken in context, with a uniqueness quantification. As you know, with the advent of Kripke’s models, the law of the excluded middle is disallowed since one can construct, via Gödel’s incompleteness theorems, a mathematical statement that can be neither proven nor disproved. As realized in specific disciplines like Fuzzy Sets and Systems, this approach through Topomantic Logic is actually more rigorous than conventionally founded Arithmancy. I have to say that most Arithmancers, being ignorant of Muggle research, have trouble understanding these notions.”
“That’s exactly the problem with Wittgenstalt, Mrs. Scamander...”
“Call me Porpentina, dear. You’re the most gifted young Arithmancer I’ve seen since Perenelle Flamel.”
‘Thank you, Porpentina. As I was saying, Wittgenstalt has never accepted to consider combining Muggle and magical contributions to the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics, or he might have understood better the problem of Schrödinger’s cat. While your elegant solution to the question of quantum decoherence proposes a topomantic intersection of N sets of E with N+1 sets of non-E, meaning that your son could be considered as the scalar product of two vectors, or the vectorial product of two scalars, and he would both exist and non-exist depending on the state of the observer.”
“Definitely, my dear.”
“For any values of n in n+1 spaces.”
“Indeed.”
“And this means,” -- Hermione sprang to her feet – “that Wittgenstalt’s equations are proved defective!”
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Thin Man
68 Reviews | 7.91/10 Average
Severus was so gentle with the Runespoors, I'm sure they will find a way to get married, in the end.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Washing his hair in a pensive, that must have some kind of efect, trust Luna.
Lovely story. Thanks for writing this fic. I'll def. read whatever else you write!
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Thank you so much! I'm very glad you enjoyed this story and I hope you'll enjoy the others too.
Liked a lot, I so love how Severus and Luna got along. So sweet. Hermione just gave me a headache with all of her fancy talk lol
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.Hermione would give anyone a headache when she's in fancy talk mood. ;-)
Wow, I can't remember when I've read a ship other than SSHG. It feels like I'm cheating, or Severus is, but this is just delightful! You have quite an imagination.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Yes, yes, it feels like cheating! That's how I felt when I was writing it - guilty but excited. ;-)Thank you so much! I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story.
Poor Severus, what a time for an earthquake.
A great start , looking forward to more.
I like the rune painting; reminds me of henna for brides. And finally - physical contact; their first, I think? Two kisses, even. But do say it wont all be over with the wedding tomorrow! That would make me cry at this wedding for sure. So kind of you to post the day after I exhausted and confused myself doing my tax return; an equally strange universe but not in as good a way.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
I hope your tax return worries are all settled and forgotten!Nope, not first physical contact: she already washed his hair in a Pensieve. But, erm... I'm afraid we have just the wedding left for this story. However, I've just uploaded a couple of drabbles which are not directly related but have the same atmosphere and physical contact - even a tiny bit of kink. I hope they'll make you happy!
And now we come to the crux of the problem. I wonder who Aunt Fickle had to marry to inherit the house. Severus and Luna better figure something out so they don't all get eaten.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
I wonder who Aunt Fickle had to marry to inherit the house.Hee, that's a very good (and inspiring) question! *ponders prequel*Thank you for reading and reviewing.
He's clearly familiar with the home and it's inhabitants, yet he's still capable of being surprised. Wonderful!
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Fickle Mansion is always full of surprises. :)Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying this.
Anonymous
Uh-oh, did Hermione find something out? Suspect something? This bores no good, it seems! ;o)
Fascinating idea to have a "black hole" on the portrait. I asssumed so far that a portrait of someone still living simply stays inanimate.
Author's Response: On the contrary... if bossy Hermione is convinced, she'll do the convincing for the rest of the wizarding world - especially if she can discredit Wittgenstalt in the process.
Well, that's an echo of the "Snape-shaped hole" in canon - thought I'd put that cartoonish image to some use.
As always, your reviews are delightful. Thank you!
Alcina vom Steinsberg's response: Oh, I meant to ask you who that Wittgenstalt fellow is. It sounds close enough to an Austrian philosopher which could fit, but I suppose you invented your own magical fellow and probably close relation ;o).
The Snape-shaped hole has occupied my mind quite some time, too. It sounds so absurd in the book, but still, the image remains firmly in my head, if I want it or not *g*.
Author's Response: Yes, him. *g*
We'll probably never know if Rowling's Snape-shaped hole contained a cryptic message or was just silly... so let's enjoy the ambiguity!
Anonymous
all the colours of the known and lesser known rainbows
Oh what a lovely line that is.
The Shreks! The Proudfoots! The Baggins! *squees once again* And what a gorgeous idea, this Gobstone family tree...
Author's Response: Squee! I love your reviews, I truly do. I'm so glad you're enjoying this and so pleased that you've seen all the little details. :D
Anonymous
So Severus prepares for the inevitable. Poor him! It must be a dire life he is fearing right now.
I do love your Runespoors. And did I already say that I really, really admire and enjoy and delight in all yout details, usage of canon facts and beasts, particularly the rarely used, and all your inventions? This is so rich and entertaining!
Author's Response: Oh yes, poor Severus - a life without Luna, without Fickle House is a dire perspective indeed.
Thank you so much!
Anonymous
Elves reproducing vegetatively! *squee* That was the best of all your wonderful inventions and introductions this chapter has, too. Such a delightful read!
But the future seems to look rather dire for Severus and Luna.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you've enjoyed the vegetative reproduction of elves - I'm rather fond of that little idea.
Trust Luna - she'll find a solution. :)
I assumed you had made up the name and character of Porpentina until I looked it up to see if it came from some where and found she's a Jo Rowling (very bit) character. But the name seems like one you would make up, it's so well suited to your story. Almost as if Rowling invented it for this fanfic, even though she could never have known it would exist.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
What a lovely compliment! Thank you so much.No, I didn't invent Porpentina, but the best detail I've found is about Rolf Scamander. When I checked the Lexicon, I saw he's identified once as the Scamander's son and the next time as their grandson - hence the idea of the "existential instability."
I love the female Runespoor. I am trying to imagine a world where the planner and the dreamer can gang up in the critic, In my experience, it's usually the critics who manage to prevent almost anything from getting done!
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Oh, yes, you're right about the critics (and in this world the planner and the dreamer just had enough of the nay-attitude), yet poor Snape rather identifies with Sally. :)
Anonymous
So Severus plans to travel, packing all the necessites - Sally, of course, and "Spare wand, liquorice allsorts, spare silver dagger, reading glasses..." - sums it up SO nicely! :o))))
Rolf Scamander - now THAT is a great idea! I'm just wondering how Severus would fit into "Rolf". *g*
Author's Response: He's very organized. *g*
Hehe, we'll see how Severus fits into "Rolf" - Luna and her godmother have more than one trick in their bag.
Shhh, Hermione! At one point, I wished you would move the plot along in each chapter, then I realized what a mistake that would be. This story matches perfectly the little dollops you give us. If you released more at a time, I might read faster to see what would happen, rather than absorbing each exquisite little tidbit you've invented.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Oh, what a lovely thing to say! *clutches review to heart*Thank you so much.
Response from luminosa (Reviewer)
Where was the snape-shaped hole in the books? I missed it.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
It's in the Sacking of Severus Snape in Deathly Hallows. Minerva and Harry are pursuing Snape and he escapes by jumping through a window of the castle, leaving a "Snape-shaped hole" in the glass pane, then he flies away.
This gets more and more convoluted, with more and more delightful and completely believable details.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Thank you so much! I hope you'll continue to enjoy it. We'll be back to Severus and Luna in a little while.
Ohh, dear. Is the cat about to be let out of the bag?! Can't wait for the next bit.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Well, not exactly... The cat is rather about to be stuffed in the bag. Trust Luna and Porpentina. :)Thank you for the lovely reviews!
Response from mimmom (Reviewer)
Poor Severus.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
No, no, it will be alright for Severus. I wouldn't do that to him!If we keep to the cat simile, let's say this is a Schrödinger's cat, both in and out of the bag. :)
Response from mimmom (Reviewer)
LOL. I love it. You must be a Ravenclaw.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
You've guessed it right! Ravenclaw to the point of my beak. *g*
Just found this little gem and have read it in one sitting. What a delight! Reminds me of Terry Pratchett. Every chapter is like a chocolate bar packed with hidden fruit and nuts.
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad you're enjoying this.The next chapters are already in the queue. :)
Marvelous tale. I don't even get irritated with the short chapters because they are so jam-packed with madly brilliant stuff.-Wahoo
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Thank you! I'm sorry about the short chapters - that was a kind of experiment, but I thought they would go up faster (the story is already finished). It seems the queue is slower than usual. For the next story, I'll do it differently.Anyway, I'm glad you're still enjoying the story!
Mathoms, ha! and Proudfoot and Baggins, LOL. Still, What an imagination you have! You have no need to borrow even names from others. You have a real way with words, to use a terrible cliche. -Wahoo
Response from duniazade (Author of The Thin Man)
Hee! I borrowed for the LOLZ and it seems it worked. Wasn't it wonderful, the way Tolkien gave a name to that universal and obscure practice of circulating unwanted gifts?Thank you so much for the lovely compliments!