Chapter 2

AN: Written for the SeverusBigBangBirthdayBash (Jan. 9, 2010). Many, many thanks to my betas, Alley B and sweettiff_14.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP. It all belongs to JKR. I make no money here.

Hermione stood outside the gate at the edge of Severus' yard, wondering if the last message had been a mistake on her part.

Had she misunderstood his intentions? Had she made a fool of herself? Wanting to turn and run, she knew she couldn't since she had to carry out the job of delivering the packet along with an explanation to Severus.

He had isolated himself from the Wizarding world, but had he kept track of what was going on there? Would he already have heard the news? She hoped so; it would make it so much easier on her.

Severus greeted her at the door, directing her to the front room.

Hermione thought he hadn't changed much in twenty years; a bit of gray in his hair, a wrinkle or two, but all in all, he was aging rather gracefully.

Severus was thinking along the same lines: she'd aged well. She must be what, now? Thirty-nine or forty? She'd stayed in shape, looked quite good, and had managed to tame that wild hair he remembered from her childhood. “Let's enjoy our dinner first, my dear. We will conduct business afterwards.”

She could put it off a bit longer.

Their dinner went extremely well. For two people who hadn't met in such a long time, they got along fabulously. Everything seemed to click. They were no longer teacher and student, but simply a man and a woman who shared many of the same interests.

They found they'd shared the same favorite subjects at school: Potions, Arithmancy and History. They had read many of the same books and had a lively debate on several favorites. They also learned they shared the same tastes in music and a weakness for Muggle technology. Both were academics and bibliophiles with tendencies toward perfectionism.

After an enjoyable meal, they adjourned to the sitting room in front of the fire. After sitting awkwardly for a few moments, Hermione spoke, “Well, Severus, I'm sure you must be wondering what all this is about? I need to ask, have you kept abreast of news from the Wizarding world at all?”

“Truthfully, no.”

She sighed. “Then you probably haven't heard the news. Minerva is dead.”

Minerva McGonagall had been hounding him for twenty years. Tracking him down no matter how often he had moved, sending numerous notes and packages that he had returned all unopened.

The woman who had been not only a colleague and mentor but one of the few people he had ever called friend, was now dead and gone. He'd never made peace with her. He'd always thought that somehow there would be more time.

He knew she had hated him, vilified him, during his nightmare year as Headmaster under Voldemort's rule. But afterwards, once he'd been redeemed, lauded as a hero, she'd tried to contact him. But he'd been hurt and bitter and had wanted to wound her just as deeply. So he had, terribly.

“How? She was only ninety-three.”

“Curse damage, from the Battle of Hogwarts. She never truly recovered. She's lived the last twenty years in pain. It got worse with each year that passed. There was nothing the healers could do. In all honesty, Severus, her passing was a blessing. She's at peace now, finally.

“I don't know if you knew: I've been teaching at Hogwarts for the past eighteen years. Minerva and I became very close. That's probably the reason why she entrusted this to me. I know that she's been trying to contact you unsuccessfully for a long time. This is my task.

“I'm fulfilling a death-bed promise to her, to deliver this letter to you personally. Severus, I do know that it was her greatest regret in life that she never got to apologize for the things she said and did, most especially in that time following Dumbledore's death. She was truly sorrowful, and she never really forgave herself. She made me promise to see this through and make sure you received her letter. Knowing me, I guess she figured that I would be tenacious enough that I simply wouldn't quit until I'd carried out her wishes. So, here I am.”

Severus looked devastated. He sat holding his head in his hands. “I'm a bastard,” he growled.

Hermione moved to sit next to him, gently laying a hand on his shoulder. “She didn't think that, Severus. Honestly, she thought of you like a son. Just open the packet, read what she wrote to you. It was her last wish. Please.”

Nodding, he took it from her.

“Would you like me to leave? I can stay if you'd like, to try to answer any questions you might have. But if you'd rather have your privacy, I would understand that.”

“I'd actually like it if you stayed, Hermione. But if you wouldn't mind, I would like a few minutes alone, to read what she wrote to me.”

“I understand completely. How about if I go into the kitchen and make us some tea?”

While Hermione rattled around in the kitchen, Severus slowly tore open the packet containing Minerva's last words to him. Not entirely sure what to expect, he unfolded the parchment and with a heavy heart began to read the words of his one-time friend.

My dear Severus,

If you are reading this, I am dead.