The Ghost Of You

"Lily?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"No, it can't be you. You're dead."

"Severus, it was very important that I come back and speak with you. I couldn't bear it any longer. I've seen you, watched what you've been making of this second chance you were given. A second chance that I pleaded that you get, and here you are wasting it!"

"Lily, why would I want to be here? The world has rejected me at every turn. I bring nothing but resentment and fear wherever I go." He took a deep breath, then muttered, "Why am I even bothering? I'm arguing with a hallucination!"

Severus abruptly turned away from the hearth and the image of Lily that stood there. He stalked into his kitchen, to the cupboard, and pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey and a tumbler.

Drink in hand, Severus turned back towards the hearth, and found that his hallucination was still there. Her eyes looked incredibly sad as she bowed her head and began to shake her head.

"You just don't get it, do you, Severus?" she said quietly.

He walked back across the room to stand right in front of the ghostly image of the long-dead Lily Potter.

"What, that I'm obviously going barmy, and I'm not even fifty?"

Her head snapped up, and she stared into his dark eyes. "That's it! We're leaving now, since you aren't going to even try to listen."

Lily turned back towards the hearth and threw some powder into the flames.

"Evans Residence, Christmas Day...1969," she called out as the flames turned green.

Lily turned and grabbed Severus' free hand and pulled him into the fireplace with her.

In no time they tumbled out of the Floo and into the living room of Lily's childhood home.

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus whispered at his companion.

"They can't hear us, Severus."

"Fine! What is the bloody meaning of this, Lily?" he snarled at her.

"Severus, come on, let me show you."

The duo walked towards the dining room, and Severus watched in wonder as his younger self smiled and laughed with the Evans family.

"You were so happy, Severus."

"I don't see the point of this. I'm not that child anymore."

"No, but you still could have that kind of joy in your heart, Severus! There's still so much to live for!"

Instead of arguing with her, he continued to watch the scene in front of him.

His younger self took the bowl of mashed potatoes from Lily, who was sitting on his right. As she passed the bowl to him, the young redhead leaned in and whispered something in Severus' ear.

"Do you remember what I told you?"

Severus smiled sadly at the recollection and nodded yes in response.

Lily leaned in close to Severus and quietly said, "I can't wait till we get to Hogwarts!"

Suddenly, there was a ruckus at the dinner table.

"Mom! They're whispering again! I know they're talking about me!" Petunia snapped.

"Speaking of Hogwarts, it's time for us to move on." Lily said gently as she began to lead Severus back towards the fireplace.

"Hogwarts: Slytherin Common Room, December 20th...1972," Lily called out to the fireplace.

They popped out of the fireplace just in time to see second-year Severus Snape leave the dorm room.

"No, Lily. I don't need to see this."

"We're following you, Severus. You have no choice."

They followed the young Severus through the dungeons and up towards the overly decorated entrance hall. As soon as he took a step into the hall, he was ambushed by none other than Gryffindor's golden boys, The Marauders.

"Expelliarmus!"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

There he was disarmed, petrified and surrounded by his enemies without a teacher in sight.

Suddenly, they heard someone screeching towards them.

"James, Sirius, Peter and Remus, stop that right now! He didn't do anything to you; leave him alone!" Young Lily Evans chastised the group as she stalked towards them from the moving staircase.

"Aw, come on, Evans. You just don't know him like we do," James Potter said sweetly.

"Yeah, Evans, he did do something to us. He knows more curses and dark spells than anyone in our year! He offends us, and we're only trying to protect ourselves from scum like him," Sirius Black added.

Lily only shook her head in frustration at the boys and put herself between the Marauders and Severus. She then brandished her wand towards her friend's prone form, and he was mobile once more. Once satisfied that Severus was okay, she turned to James and said, "His wand, James?"

As James handed Snape's wand over to Lily, he looked past her and into Severus' eyes and said, "This isn't over, Snivellus."

In no time the group of Gryffindor boys stalked off and left the young Severus and Lily alone in the entrance hall.

"You can't always protect me from them," Severus said sharply.

"I was just on my way to make sure you were still coming to dinner on Christmas. What did you expect me to do, just stand there?"

"Of course I'm still coming. When I'm with your family..." Severus trailed off, not wanting to put words to his feelings.

"I understand," young Lily said with a smile.

As the two second-years wandered off together, Severus and Lily looked on.

"Why did I need to see that, Lily? Why do you insist on continuing to torture me from beyond the grave? Haven't I repented? Haven't I proven how much I regret our past?" Severus pleaded with the apparition.

"Severus, you need to see this. You need to see that you have been loved, and cared for. You are not unlovable."

"I..."

Just then the year changed, and an older Lily Evans and James Potter came into the hall from the moving staircase.

The older Severus instantly recognized what was about to happen and turned sharp, angry eyes to his ghostly companion.

"No, we aren't doing this. Take me back to the present. I don't need to see this."

"You do need to see this, Severus. You need to remember the path that you've taken was your own doing."

They watched as James handed Lily a long, skinny, brightly wrapped Christmas gift.

"Happy Christmas, Evans," he said triumphantly.

"James, you shouldn't have! I... I didn't get anything for you," she responded quietly.

"I honestly just want to see you open it and love it. That will be my gift from you."

Young Lily looked down at the package and began to unwrap it. She began to blush furiously as she gazed upon the diamond and ruby bracelet the box held.

"James... I... I can't accept this!"

"Yes, you can, Evans. You deserve this, and many more gifts like this one. When you wear it, think of me."

As James Potter leaned in to kiss Lily on the cheek, Severus looked over towards the stairway that led to the dungeons. There he found his younger self, wearing a look of utter hatred.

The younger Severus looked down at the small gift he had made himself for Lily, then over to where James was helping Lily put on her new bracelet.

Young Lily heard the sound of something hitting the stone floor, and caught the sight of Severus' dark head stalking down the stairwell.

"Severus!" she called out frantically.

"Let him go, Lily," James said softly.

"No, I can't... he doesn't understand. I need to explain!"

The observers continued to watch the scene play out in front of them.

The young Lily caught up to Severus finally and spun him around to face her.

"What?" he said snidely

"Severus, I... James, he was just..."

"Yes, I noticed. When were you going to tell me? You're such a liar, Lily. Accepting fine presents from that prat; I expected better of you. I thought our relationship meant something to you! Apparently, I was wrong."

"Severus! You do mean something to me! You're my best friend!"

"Maybe you should find another friend if you're going to keep fraternizing with the enemy."

Young Severus attempted to turn away from Lily, but she stopped him once more.

"No, no, you can't do this! Come to dinner on Christmas, just like you used to. It'll be like old times, and you'll see..."

"Yes, I'm sure I'll see. I'll see you taking pity on the poor, abused kid from the wrong side of town. I don't need your pity. Why don't you invite Potter to dinner? I'm sure he's the sort your parents hoped for."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means! Go on, Evans. Your destiny as the next Potter princess is waiting."

"Severus! Stop being so unreasonable! I'm not dating, Potter! He gave me a gift, that's all!"

"But you accepted it."

"It's rude to reject a gift, Severus."

"It's also rude to pretend to be friends with someone while stabbing them in the back."

Severus yanked his arm from Lily's grasp, turned and began stalking towards the dungeons once more.

"Severus! Severus, please..." Lily cried out as tears streamed down her face.

Just as the young Lily Evans collapsed on the hard stone floor in grief, so did the forty nine year old Severus Snape.

"Lily, please... I'm sorry. Please, you have to forgive me. I was an idiot, you weren't... I was such a fool," he cried at the ghost's feet.

She reached out a pale hand and touched his cheek.

"Severus, there is nothing to forgive."

"Yes, yes, there is... I destroyed our friendship over a bracelet. I was so upset at my own lot in life... I took it out on you. Then, I continued to drive the wedge between us to the end six months from this point. You would have forgiven me for this... If Only I would have..."

"This is the path you've taken, Severus. With this moment, you not only gave up on our friendship, you gave up on yourself. You withdrew so far into yourself and gave up on the possibility of ever feeling loved."

"How could I trust anyone else after you?" he pleaded.

"Severus, please listen. It's too late for us, but it's not too late for you. You can change. You've got to reconnect with your mortality. You've got to make your life worth living."

"What can I do, Lily?" Severus bowed his head and continued to weep at her feet as he asked for direction.

"Live... feel something other than anger. Feel the joy of love and the solace of friendship. Please, Severus... Live."

When Severus looked up again to respond to Lily, she was gone. He looked around and found he was back in his sitting room, kneeling in front of the hearth.

"Lily!" he yelled out to the empty room

When a reply didn't come, Severus Snape broke down in tears once more.

A/N: Thanks for Reading! Much love goes to karelia for the beta work! Up next: The Ghost of Christmas Present! ~ Brena