kittylefish – Supernova Seeker

If we do not know ourselves to be full of pride, ambition, lust, weakness, misery, and injustice, we are indeed blind. And if, knowing this, we do not desire deliverance, what can we say of a man...?

~ Blaise Pascal

Pride

Severus awoke the next morning, wondering how things had gone so terribly awry. One evening, he had thought himself on the brink of ... well, of something, and the next, he had found himself alone, with nothing but a bottle of liquor and his own left hand for company. How it had all gone so terribly wrong, he did not understand.

Well, maybe he understood a little. His ferocious, foul temper had once again got the better of him. And now he had likely ruined everything. Again. And he had no idea how to fix it. He had apologized to her. What more was he expected to do? Surely that should suffice.

He determined to go about his business in his usual fashion, avoiding any thoughts that might distract him from his work. He found himself unable to focus on the new product he was developing, so he left his workroom and settled in his office. However, the current issue of Potions Weekly was clearly substandard, filled with tripe that failed to engage his attention. He turned to revising an article he planned to submit to that publication, but it, too, failed to hold his interest.

Several days passed in this fashion, with him never seeming to actually accomplish anything of substance. He resolved at least to sort through his correspondence, which had piled up a bit while he'd been distracted by ... other matters. He found an envelope bearing the seal of the Order of Lao Tzu and wondered how he had overlooked it. He opened it, removed the heavy sheet of parchment, and read the missive. Well. It had finally happened. He had been admitted to the inner circle. He had worked tirelessly towards that goal for months, had longed for nothing else. Why then did he feel so empty? With a growl, he crumpled the letter and threw it on the table.

It was no use. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He grabbed a blank piece of parchment and began to plan.

*******

Hermione awoke with a vague feeling of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. Then she remembered the events of the previous day and groaned. As if the argument with Ron hadn't been bad enough, now she had no idea whatsoever where things stood with Severus. And she had been so excited about where they had seemed to be heading.

A flush crept over her face as she recalled her wanton activities after he'd left. How she could be so furious with him and yet still want to do ... that, she did not entirely understand. When she and Ron had been together, she'd certainly never found anger to be an aphrodisiac, but last night, her ire had only fanned the flames of her desire.

She got out of bed and prepared for her day, resolving not to think about the irritating man. How dared he break into her home and proceed to level accusations at her? And then just to leave so suddenly, not even giving them a chance to come to any kind of understanding. She could have forgiven the rest, but leaving her high and dry like that...it stung. Her pride was wounded, and she found it impossible to get past it.

Unfortunately, her resolution not to think about him proved hard to keep. Throughout her day, as she went about her business, she found herself remembering the sweetness of the kisses they had shared. Again and again, her thoughts returned to that long moment when he had stared into her eyes, and for a moment, she had believed he would grab her and snog her senseless. She had wanted him to snog her senseless, dammit! Why hadn't he? What was wrong with him! Or is it me?...she glanced at her rear end to ensure it had not expanded beyond reasonable proportions...No, she dismissed that thought. It was him, of course. Just the same, she resisted the temptation to drown her sorrows in ice cream.

One day slipped into the next as she waited for him to come to her, to apologize, to make things right. But he didn't.

After a few days, resentment eased its hold on her heart enough so that she could think more clearly. As she pondered Severus's history, things began to shift into place. She had been furious with him...justifiably so, she still believed...but he had apologized to her for trespassing. She supposed that from his perspective, for all he knew, she was still furious. Since she doubted he had much experience with women, he probably had no inkling she was more upset at this point about him leaving so hastily without resolving anything than she was about the initial cause of her anger.

It began to dawn on her that perhaps he was waiting to hear from her that he was forgiven. While part of her wanted to hold onto her grudge and wait for him to come crawling back to her...after all, why should she be the one to relinquish her pride...she realized her desire to be with him trumped her need to be right.

Once she came to that understanding, she saw no need to dillydally. Without further thought, and with no plan in mind, she Apparated to his door and rang the doorbell. Twice, for good measure.

*******

Severus was inspecting an item he had just received through Floo delivery when he heard the doorbell's demanding summons. Twice. "I'm coming, hold your hippogriffs," he muttered under his breath, his fingers absent-mindedly stroking the leather binding of the volume he held. He set it on a table in the entryway and opened the door. "Hemione."

"Severus," she said, seeming nervous. "May I come in?"

"Of course." He stood aside to allow her to pass.

Her gaze landed on the book on the table. "Is that ...?"

"A first edition copy of Hogwarts, A History."

"Really?" Her face lit up. "May I?" She reached for the book.

"Of course," he repeated, mentally cursing his rapidly dwindling vocabulary.

He watched as she examined the book, caressing the binding before carefully turning the pages.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"Yes," he agreed, his eyes not straying from her face.

She glanced at him standing stiffly in his hallway, and the sight of him seemed to recall her to the matter at hand. Reluctantly, she returned the book to the table. "Why did you leave so hastily the other night?" she asked.

He felt uncertain as to how to answer her. "I did not know what else to do," he said.

"You could have stayed. We could have talked about it ..."

"If I'd stayed, there would have been no talking." His gaze caught and held hers.

"No?" she questioned, the ghost of a smile hovering about her lips.

"No," he repeated. "Hermione, I know we said we would take things slowly. Hell, it might even have been my idea, but..." Now, how am I to finish that sentence? 'But I wish to carry you into the bedroom and thoroughly ravish you post-haste?' I think not.

"But what, Severus?" she asked, moving closer to him.

"But I no longer wish to take things slowly," he whispered.

"Nor do I." She stood in front of him now, looking up at him, lips slightly parted. Then she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her soft lips to his.

With that, Severus's tenuous hold on his self-control began to slip. His arms came around her, crushing her to him as his mouth plundered hers. As she responded to his passion, her tongue tangling with his, he felt like a starving man who found himself invited to feast with royalty. When they came up for air, he looked down into her face flushed with desire, her lips slightly swollen from his kisses. He wanted her with a fierceness he hadn't expected. He could tell by the look on her face that he'd surprised her when he swept her up in his arms and began to carry her to the bedroom.

"Really, Severus?" she giggled.

He shot her a look that quelled her giggling and caused her eyes to narrow with what he hoped was arousal.

In his room, Severus dropped her onto the middle of the bed and stood for a moment to savor the sight of her there. Then he followed her down and took her into his arms to kiss her again. He felt like he was pouring his soul into her with his kiss and drinking in her soul in return...though he had never believed such romantic blarney when he'd heard others spout it and was a bit taken aback at having such thoughts.

His hands roved over her body, and this time she did not stop him when he cupped her bum and then her breasts. He tugged at her jumper, pulling it up, and she willingly allowed him to pull it over her head. He stared appreciatively at her lace-clad bosom before palming both of her breasts. When her nipples hardened beneath his touch, he felt triumphant and bent his head to flick at them with his tongue through the flimsy lace.

Her sharp intake of breath as she arched into his touch fuelled his passion further. He felt greedy for her, gluttonous even. He wanted not just to taste and to savor, but to devour her whole, to claim and possess her. As he sucked her nipple, he slipped a hand over her ribcage to her abdomen before insinuating it between her thighs. He could feel her warmth through her jeans. As her legs fell open slightly, her hand traced over his chest, down his arm, to his belly where she hesitated.

His fingers deftly unfastened her jeans, and he slipped his hand inside, exploring her soft, heated flesh.

Her hands unbuttoned his shirt, brushing it off his shoulders, and Severus muttered a quick spell that divested them both of their clothes. She pulled him down on top of her, into her kiss, legs parted to receive him. As he positioned himself at her entrance, rubbing his tip against that tiny bundle of nerves, he looked into her face and was overcome with a rush of tenderness. He pressed into her, feeling her warmth envelop him as he sheathed himself in her fully. He had not believed two people could fit together so perfectly. He began to move, forcing himself to go slowly, and she wrapped her legs tightly around him as she moved in the same rhythm.

Perhaps a moment or a lifetime later, he felt her tremble and shudder around him. His mouth swooped onto hers to devour her cries of satisfaction as he thrust powerfully into her, feeding her with his own inarticulate utterances as he spilled his seed inside her. He felt like he was losing himself in her and finding himself at the same time.

Afterwards, they lay together, her head cradled on his shoulder. He brushed her tangled mane out of her face, then kissed her forehead, and she sighed, a tiny smile curving her lips.

"It's for you, you know," he said.

"What?" She looked at him through drooping eyelids.

"The book. It's for you." He kissed her forehead again.

Her eyes flew open. "What?" she screeched. "Really?"

"Have a little consideration for my ears, please. Yes, really." He watched, amused, as she jumped out of bed and ran from the room.

She reappeared moments later, the book cradled gently in her loving hands. She set it on the table by the bed, then jumped on top of him. "Thank you, thank you!" she cried, straddling him as she kissed his face and neck and lips.

Holding her, caressing her, he realized what they'd found together was worth more than money, power, or fame. Pride be damned, he'd make this work.

Author's Notes:

We get points for every review we get, so please take the time to leave one! Love it or hate it, please tell us! And please go vote in the poll at The Petulant Poetess's LiveJournal site: http://community.livejournal.com/petulantpoetess/

Thanks to my team, especially astopperindeath for a pivotal conversation that helped me make a key decision about this chapter, as well as LadyTuesday and Clairvoyant for betaing.

Word count: 1982.

Prompt words used are in bold: 1. Dillydally 2. Traduce 3. Blarney 4. Probity Probe 5. Quod 6. Tripe 7. Pillar box

UPDATE: We came in second in the challenge and so will be going on to the final round! If you liked this story, please read and review the sequel, Is a Virtue, found here: http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=16392