Chapter 46
Chapter 31 of 31
JackieJLHDuring the second war against Voldemort, Petunia Dursley spent nearly a year in hiding with her family. This is her story.
ReviewedAuthor's Note: Sorry for the long delay! Between the holidays, being incredibly sick for half of January, and work, I didn't write a single word for weeks. But I'm back now, and will try to update more quickly from this point on! :)
Many thanks to Pyjamarama for her fabulous beta work!!
A knock at the bedroom door wakes Petunia the next morning, and she gets out of bed, rubbing sleep out of her eyes and blinking wearily into the darkness of the room.
"Petunia?" Vernon's voice calls, and then the door swings open. "Are you ill?"
She frowns, lighting the candle on the bedside table. "No. Why? Is everything all right?"
"It's after ten," he says, turning and disappearing down the dim hallway.
In disbelief, Petunia reaches for her watch where she'd left it on the table, tilting the face toward the candle so that she can see the hands. It's closer to eleven than ten, and she nearly leaps out of bed. It probably shouldn't surprise her that she's overslept; after all, she and Hestia had been talking until four-thirty, when they'd both finally glanced at the clock and realised that Hestia had to be to work in less than four hours. But still, Petunia's been up by six every morning for nearly twenty years, and that hadn't changed even though her alarm clock had sat in a box since the day they'd come to this house, useless due to the lack of electricity.
Pulling on her dressing gown, she hurries out of the room, rushing through her normal morning routine. She pauses in Dudley's doorway on her way downstairs, and he glances up over the top of his Game Boy.
"I'm sorry I overslept," she says, and he shrugs. "Did you eat breakfast?"
"I was going to make toast, but… did you know that we don't have a toaster?" Dudley asks, pausing his game and setting the Game Boy down on the bed.
Petunia suppresses a smile. "I'd noticed, yes."
"Dad didn't know how to make toast without a toaster either, so he made eggs." He wrinkles his nose. "They were kind of… gooey."
"Your father cooked?" Petunia asks in surprise, already dreading what her usually-immaculate kitchen must look like if Vernon has been in there.
"He said maybe you weren't feeling well 'cause you never sleep so late unless you're ill." Dudley looks her up and down critically, hints of concern in his eyes. "You're not, are you? Dad says the wizards don't know anything about medicine, and that if anything happens to any of us, they'll leave us to die."
Carefully keeping the exasperation with Vernon out of her voice, she answers, "I'm fine, sweetie. I was just up too late. Besides, Hestia wouldn't leave us to die. And wizards know plenty about medicine; they have their own hospital and doctors and everything." Even as she says this, though, she wonders what would happen if any of them did fall ill or get hurt; they can't go to a wizarding hospital any more easily than they can go to a Muggle one, and the books Petunia's read didn't actually state whether or not wizarding medicine will work on Muggles in the first place. She resolves to ask Hestia the next time she sees her.
"Can we have lunch early?" Dudley asks. "I didn't really eat breakfast…."
She nods, shaking her head and smiling as her son's attention drifts back to his game.
Making her way down to the kitchen, she pauses in the doorway, surveying the scattered pots and pans and food with a sigh. How on earth such a mess could have been created by simply making eggs? She has no idea, but there really isn't any point in complaining. If nothing else, Vernon had tried to let her sleep, which is a marked improvement from his general attitude toward her lately, and not something she wants to discourage in any way. Besides, cleaning will give her something to do for the rest of the day, since Hestia will no doubt opt out of their usual evening chess game in favour of collapsing into bed and making up for the lost sleep from the previous night.
Gathering up the dirty dishes and cooking utensils, she dumps them into the sink before beginning to clean the countertops, trying to clear a space where she can begin making lunch.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Filling in the Spaces
119 Reviews | 8.21/10 Average
I'm so sorry to have missed this update! I haven't been feeling well, myself, so I'm finding several stories I've missed.
On to business. This was lovely! That slight hint of, dare I say, "warming" from Vernon was just about right. He didn't actually have to do anything he had not done before. He was acting on his own self-interest in getting himself fed - something he'd have to get used to if he were going to throw Petunia out at the end of this, anyway.
I find myself honestly coming to feel for Dudley. After DH we find that he has the capacity to care for those near him, and this trait is blooming nicely in this story.
*smiles - A wonderful addition to the story. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Truffles - Sara
She should feel proud--it's that first little step that's the most important of all! I get the feeling that Petunia's never taken any risks for herself before, that her whole life she's made the choices that felt "safe" to her. Choosing Vernon as a husband because he was so emphatically "Muggle" in every sense of the word, with no imagination whatsoever; living in a subdivision where almost nobody is different (well, except for old Mrs. Figg and all her cats, but even that's to be expected in a way). Every day is the same, and every day she is the same--no worries, no surprises.Hopefully Petunia will learn that surprises can sometimes be wonderful, and not always a trial to be endured.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I agree--I think Petunia can be very brave and take risks, but has only ever done it for someone else. She's slowly beginning to learn that it's okay to be brave just for herself. She may not realize it, but slowly she's beginning to find that she can be happy--happier, even--if she lets herself open up to the possibility that people different from her aren't automatically evil or freakish.
"Record keeper" huh? I wonder if that's a euphemism for "fudging the paperwork" so it doesn't show any improprieties? That would be a hard thing to do, even if you had to do it in order to keep your position as a spy within the organization...in a way you'd feel as though you were actually helping the bad guys to win.Sounds as though both ladies have a lot to unburden.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
She's definitely not enjoying her job--it involves a lot of things that she'd never imagined herself doing. : ( I think that for all Petunia needs Hestia, Hestia needs Petunia just as much right now.
Poor Petunia, but if this experience doesn't kill her then it will make her stronger.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I agree. If she can make it through the war, she just might discover that she's become a better person.
I'm willing to bet that some 'girl talk' will happen on the roof. I think Petunia is learning the valuable lesson that women need women friends.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Definitely! Petunia really does need a friend--everyone does, I guess. I can't imagine having gone through nearly my entire adult life up to this point without having had any real friends. :(
I loved the information about Hestia, you gave her some depth that was missing in canon.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I'm glad you enjoyed it! If you feel so inclined, you might want to check out a story I just posted--Missing Spaces. It's a missing scene told from Hestia's POV. If you like background on Hestia, you might find it interesting. :D
I am continuing to enjoy this story. Please update soon.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I'm so glad you're enjoying it! :D
Stepping out into the unknown...how appropriate! Petunia needs to learn how to be brave again, for her own sake and not for someone else. And if she's brave, Dudley will follow her example and be brave also, which is a Good Thing. I'm not sure if Vernon can learn to be brave, because I suspect he never was to begin with.Can't wait to read about the conversation up on the roof!
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
She really does--I think she has a lot of bravery inside of her, she just doesn't really see that. Her bravery only becomes apparent when she's doing something to benefit someone she loves, and I think if she could realize that she's worth taking a risk for sometimes, she'd be a much, much happier person. *hugs Petunia*
Now that's the mark of a true friend...someone who will come over at Oh My God In The Morning with little to no advance warning just because they know you're hurting. I'm so glad that Petunia has found someone like Hestia to comfort her during this trying period in her life...The awkward conversation with Dudley was well done also. I think Petunia worries too much that her son will turn against her, but since Vernon is doing that very thing, I really can't blame her for being paranoid about it. I wonder if he'll try to ask his dad for his version of what's going on, and if so just how badly will he feel about the answer?
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
*grins* Everyone needs a friend for those late-night moments when you feel like your world is turning upside down. :D Dudley's not done with his questions, though we still have a few chapters before we hear from him. :)
The proverbial leap of faith. I am liking this story more and more with each update.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Yes! *is heavy-handed with the symbolism in this chapter* Lol.I'm glad you're enjoying it!! :D
Great chapter, I think Dudley is coming around as well.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
He is! :D I'm glad you enjoyed it!!
I think everyone should have a friend like Hestia. I enjoy watching Petunia's relationship with her grow.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I think so too! Lol. She's really the friend that everyone could benefit from, I think--not perfect, but still perfectly understanding and caring. :D
Oh, honey... Going outside- how exciting! Hopefully nothing's wrong, but it seems more likely (at least to me) that Petunia's about to get a breath of fresh air. Last two chapters have been pulling at my heart more than usual. Hestia's very careful circumlocution, to avoid mentioning Tonks' first name, and to not assign blame to Petunia for pureblood prejudice- though Petunia's realization made something inside me >squeeze<.You're really good at that.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Yep, a trip outside!! :D Some fresh air might do Petunia some good. Lol. And I think poor Hestia is (a) too painfully nice to point out Petunia's part in furthering attitudes of pureblood prejudice, and (b) too afraid to test the limits of their newfound friendship with information like, "Oh, by the way, I date women"--especially since she knows Petunia can be an uptight pain in the butt about people who are different from her. This may not be something she'd freak out over, but it might be, and since Hestia doesn't know, she's not quite willing to take that risk at this point. Can't say I blame her. Lol. Petunia doesn't have a reputation for being very accepting. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story!!
Petunia is learning more than one lesson today, it seems. Her and Vernon's treatment of Harry was abominable, and while I think she realized it on a vague superficial level before, it's really been driven home to her in a more profound way now. What will she do to try to make it up to Harry in the future? Hopefully not start treating him like Dudley and calling him cute names like "ickle Harrykins" or some such! 
Although the look on Harry's face would be priceless...I'm glad that she and Hestia are not only overcoming the Wizard/Muggle gap, but also the age gap! One of my best friends is about twenty years older than I am, and we've known each other for about...twenty years. I suddenly feel very old now myself. Anyway, it's certainly possible and very rewarding, and I think Petunia and Hestia have real "staying power" as friends. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Lol, I think I'd gag a little if she started treating Harry like Dudley. Honestly, it makes me a little annoyed when she's that way with Dudley, let alone anyone else. Lol.Like you said, friendships with large-ish age gaps can definitely work--one of the best friends I ever had was nearly 16 years older than me. In some ways, that age difference can be a benefit instead of an obstacle--you don't have the same life experiences, but it just gives you a different perspective on things, and sometimes that can be very refreshing. I can totally see Petunia and Hestia having the sort of friendship that could last for a really, really long time, given the opportunity. :D
Vernon truly is ungrateful. Probably he wants to drive them (=the wizards) to the breaking point so they would abandon them, which only would reinforce his bad opinion of them ...
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
I think there is a lot of that happening in his head. He may not consciously realize that's what he's doing, but he really emotionally doesn't know how to handle kindness from the world he despises and that he's only ever thought the worst of before. :(
Ah, Petunia learned that how she treated Harry is known in the wizarding world. I'm glad she felt ashamed.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Yeah, she's slowly beginning to understand exactly how awful her treatment of Harry really was, and how people outside her home look at it. And for the first time, she's in a position where she can actually understand those views and realize--and accept--that she was wrong. Maybe once she can come to terms with that, she can manage having a relationship with her nephew that is better for BOTH of them than the one they had previously--if he's still interested.
Oh, I bet there's a boggart in that trunk!
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
*grins* Shhhh... lol.
Vernon is dreaming himself away in his chair and Petunia is trying the best she can to occupy herself. By holding contact with the only one she has on the outside and reading everything she can get a hold on.And bit by bit her prejudices are melting away. Which makes her a traitor in Vernon's eyes.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
Right, exactly. Poor Vernon... I almost do feel bad for him, because he's just creating his own hell, not making anything better by refusing to acknowledge what's happening around him and alienating his wife in the process. :(
A longer double chapter - *huggles and truggles Thanks! Sara
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
*grins* You're welcome!! :D I felt like these two chapters really needed to be together--they're not as good split apart, somehow. Lol. I'm glad you enjoyed them! *hugs*
Such a sad situation to be in. I hope Petunia finds happiness in the end.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
It is sad--and the war's far from over at this point, so there's still plenty of story left to tell. *hugs Petunia*
Poor Petunia. And in a way, she's reaping what she herself had sown all those years ago...she deliberately chose a man who was dead-set against wizards and everything to do with them, who would vindicate her own resentment. Now she's changing the way she thinks, but Vernon is still the man he was when they married.I can't wait to see where Petunia's personal journey eventually ends up taking her.
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
You're exactly right--she chose him because he was this way, except she never thought that he'd ever have reason to be this way toward her. Suddenly she's finding herself not hating magic or the magical world, and in fact managing to find friends in that world, to find a place for herself among magical things, and he's not handling it well at all, but this is who he's always been. Unfortunately, Petunia's quickly discovering that she can't have both Vernon and the wizarding world without there being major conflicts.
If Hestia thinks telephones are confusing, wait until she encounters a Muggle with a bluetooth! She'll probably think he's crazy and talking to the air... 
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
LOL. I know I totally did. When those things first came out I spent half of my daily commute thinking the people walking past me were entirely out of their minds. Lol.
Oh man, I hope Dudley brought his Smeltings stick with him when they moved to the safehouse...I can think of some very satisfying things he could do to Vernon with it right now! 
Still, clearing the air like that might just possibly be what saves their marriage. Get rid of all that festering poison and resentment and maybe finally really talk to one another. One can hope.I still think Dudley needs to use that stick, though!
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
LOL! I agree. I'm sure Dudley could find a decent substitute somewhere. :D That chair leg Petunia was wielding in the attic, maybe. *is evil*
It's so sad that Petunia couldn't have made this breakthrough when her sister was still alive...they could have shared so much. And how interesting that Petunia "was told" that her parents died in a car crash shortly before Lily's death. What if they had been targeted by Death Eaters as well, and since Petunia had cut all ties with her sister she never knew what really happened? Or maybe it really was a car crash and I'm reading way too much into one little sentence. I do that. 
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
No, that's kind of what I wanted to imply--that she really doesn't know. She was told it was a car crash, but it came so close to Lily's death, and to suddenly be robbed of her parents like that when Lily is in the middle of fighting in a dangerous war against people who couldn't care less about killing a couple Muggles... well, I'd be pretty suspicious too. She doesn't really have any proof, but in my head, she's always suspected that wizards had something to do with it, and resented them all the more for it.
I hope Petunia will teach Dudley how to play chess! Not only is that little chess set very cool, but chess would be an excellent way to teach Dudley how to think. And it would be a way for Petunia to be close to her son without smothering him, very important when dealing with teenagers!
Response from JackieJLH (Author of Filling in the Spaces)
The chess set is going away for a little while, but it will definitely be back--those little chess pieces are really fun to write! :D