Lovely and amusing story.  Glad to see Hermione healing by Severus's hand.  Makes a nice change of pace.

very good.

wow, ok i have read it late, but here goesit is an awesome story and beautifully written, i agree with some reviewers that the end was hasty, too hasty, compared to the rest of the story, it was almost contrived.but i loved it, a beautiful story and really really well written

yes, i can see the malfoys being totally helpless in the muggle world.  wonderful story.  thanks and mucho smoochies

I think what I like best (of many things) about this story is at the beginning, we see Severus showing his true colours, taking care of the useless Malfoys, and sacrificing his pub night so Lucius can have his coffee, and not be too hard on Draco.  Severus could easily get by without them, but he has pity on them, (although I doubt he'd ever call it that,) One wonders if they will come to appreciate  his kindness,  One doubts.Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale with us.

You skill as a writer shows with so much feeling, character development, and plot with such an economical use of words.An enjoyable one-shot. Thanks for sharing.

Good story, I liked the fact that Severus got his wand back and it was amusing to see the Malfoys much like a turtle on it's back.

It's a nice change because that prompt is more rarely used than others. Well done.

Wow!  You've done a great job with the prompt, and I liked how you brought Hermione into the mix for Severus.  You showed his humanity and essential goodness as he took care of Hermione and the Malfoy (who would starve if it weren't for him).I love the scene when Hermione tells him that she feels free and doesn't want to be alone:  “I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered.“You don’t have to be.” He lifted the covers of her own bed in an inviting gesture and then lay down beside her, putting his right arm around her midst. “Don’t ever feel obliged.”  That gesture was as good as him telling her, "you don't owe me anything so don't feel like you have to have sex with me.  I don't want to be alone either."  Splendid!!!  She'd had enough of being used by Ron, and Severus wanted her to know that she would never have that kind of problem with him.I think my favorite part is when she casts her Patronus and realizes it has change.  A Bat Patronus can only mean one thing, and she isn't sure she wants to go there yet.  In response to her  “I… I… Idonwannaluvu," the Potions Master was wise enough to tell her "...if it helps, I don’t want to love you either, and yet…”  Perfect!I'm so happy that Severus and the Malfoys didn't have to wait for the full two years to be up before they got their wands back.  Yay! for Harry and the Order for taking the lead on vindicating them.  The icing on the cake was when Kingsley returned their wands to Severus and he told him that he would return when Hermione felt like returning, too.  Now that really put a smile on my face!  Great one-shot!Beth

Very nicely done, especially given the content. :) I'm glad there was a way back in for them after all.

What an intense story. At first I thought that it would have been better, had it been longer, but then it wouldn't have been all that intense.It was heartwarming to see someone like Severus, who has his own share of problems to deal with reach out and help someone else. In the end he was rewarded with love for it.

I love the atmosphere of the story AND the style in which you've wrote it.The things I liked about it: * How their lives mirrored each other's: she in her self-imposed exile, he in his Ministry-declared exile; their preferences for coffee, even if it is her own preference versus his preference to keep his roommates sane; their proclivities for long walks and desire for the same types of food. And as always in the mirror, we see the opposite of our image: she shuns her wand, drawing away from magic because she blames it for what's gone wrong, while he's had his wand removed, his magic taken away, though he is trying to get it back. * The use of coffee in the beginning, which symbolizes their desire to wake up from their not-so-pleasant circumstances. * How neither he nor she were repulsed by each other (because that is so cliche, so thank you for avoiding that). * How they accepted each other's situations for what they were and accepted how they've changed because of these circumstances. * The way you took the beginnings of a plot bunny and turned it into life as it is lived. * The descriptiveness of the third section just drew me into the scene to were I was walking by Hermione's side.What I felt could be worked on (with the awareness that this was written spur-of-the-moment): * Even though this is a challege with a prompt, the reader should be able to catch on quickly without reading the prompt first. I liked how you put the prompt at the ed, because I wasn't aware of what it was, nor did I want to know.  I like to read the stories cold, with no idea what prompted them.  I felt the first two sections especially could have been rounding out a bit to give more clues as to their situation.  Such as,why were they feeling broken.  Not too much, because it builds as the story goes on and we want that.  But there was not enough in those first two sections, which made it slightly confusing, yet not too confusing because I was intrigued enough to go on hoping there would be more of an explanation. * I was confused as to how she was cheating the bus system.  Perhaps it is because I am unfamiliar with it. * I got the picture she was ill. As a matter of fact, I thought she was terminally ill and was getting worse, perhaps even dying.  Was this the picture you were trying to portray?  It made the miscarriage less important.  It almost didn't match the picture that had developed in my mind. Was she trying to miscarry by walking so much? Was she miscarrying and trying to hurt herself further by walking so much? Was she getting an infection from it being a mid-trimester miscarriage and getting no medical intervention?  This is probably where the story could be elaborated on here and there, carefully so that the tone of the piece is not destroyed of course. * I know this was a spur-of-the-moment piee and probably written quickly.  I can't tell you how many oneshots I wrote in a couple hours in a zone-out state-of-mind, almost as they were writing themselves.  Close to the end, I felt that you fell out of the "zone" and wanted to just finish it.  It was around the point where she discovers her Patronus has changed.  Then it loses the style you began with ... this sort of lazy, pillowy beginning romance ... and the dialogue bits became more prominent.  This always results in more "telling" than "showing".All in all, however, an excellent atmospheric story. I wanted more time taken at the end.  I suspect the wordcount could easily double were you to revisit it with these thoughts in mind.  I was a nice, relaxing piece to read, and I really did enjoy it.  (And now you have a taste of the professional editor side of me.)~T

I enjoyed this very much. I especially liked that you showed a totally different side of Snape that is still very much within the character we have been shown. And I can totally see the Malfoys being completely helpless in the Muggle world -- and arrogant enough to expect someone else to take care of them.I felt Hermione's pain, and I understand completely how she felt. You did a great job of conveying it.Thanks for sharing.

'Scorched' is an apt title. I find myself saying again what I have said to quite a few of the 'Variety Challenge' authors. This short story has LOADS of potential if you would think of turning it into a novelette. It's very simple and matter-of-fact but would be even more enticing to those of us who are more than ready to gobble up something different like this with real meat in the plot. Wonderful job and best wishes to you in the voting!

Splendid take on the prompts - well done.

Nice fic with a satisfying ending! :)

I love that Severus, who is broken in his own way is able to reach out and help someone who is more broken than he is. They fix each other. I love how the Malfoys are so helpless, and yet still so arrogent, they expect Severus to serve them!

I really enjoyed this story. I had the honor of pimping you for the challenge and am so glad that I did. I love the idea of how they met and how the relationship grew. Good luck.

What a magnificiant story, I really liked it. It migth be wrong of me to say so since Hermione miscarried, but I don't care, I really liked it. I liked that Severus took care of the Malfoys and Hermione, I liked that Poppy was loyal to Severus and Hermione, I liked that Harry obviously was on Hermiones side, and I loved that Hermione and Severus had a happy ending together:-))

This was nice, and this could have been the outcome of the war had things gone a little differently.  So sad that she is blaming magic and living such an isolated existance.  Good that she had someone to bring her back. I'd say "poor Malfoys," but I wouldn't really mean it.   Thanks for sharing.

Wow, angsty. Not sure I buy the characterizations, but it's well written.

I really liked this. Such a nice view of Severus's humanity, and his heart as well. Really well done. *snerk* - I can totally see the Malfoys being totally helpless as muggles. I bet they couldnt even boil water. Lol!

That was great. Any chance of a follow-up?

Phew!  Thank you for getting the boys released sooner.  I'm glad Severus was able to help Hermione.  Now to think of a creative hex for Ron....

A lovely story..are you sure it's finished there?? I'm sure you could dregde up a few more chapters to keep the readers happy!!