Three

Snape looked calmly at the student who sat nervously before him.

“Is that all, Miss Granger?”

“Yes, sir.” She would not look at him.

He considered the information she had just told him. There seemed to be something missing.

“And did you discover why the potion had no effect on you?”

“No, sir. The book did not have any information on that.”

“I find that hard to believe. Let me see the book,” he commanded.

She looked extremely nervous, and he wondered what she was hiding.

“Sir,” she said suddenly. “I confess. I made the potion. That is why I was not affected.”

“Really, Miss Granger.” He sounded skeptical. “Then why did you not pretend to be under the influence of the potion?”

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I was waiting to see how you would react.”

“Then please tell me, Miss Granger, what the next two parts of the potion will be. If you brewed it, then you will know.”

A look of terror came over her face. She had obviously not thought this confession through.

“As I suspected. You may go, Miss Granger. I will find the book myself.” He dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

*****

The Potions master sat at his desk trying to think. His third-year students were diligently working on their potions. He had gone to the library and fought off the attentions of Madam Pince, the librarian, just to find out that the book was not there. Miss Granger still had it in her possession. She would give it to him. She had no choice.

He was doing a better job of ignoring all the special attention he was getting. He would be glad when the whole thing was over with, though.

As he pondered this, he heard humming, and the sound annoyed him greatly. He was about to snap at a student in the first row when he realized the sound was coming from him. He stopped.

He never hummed.

It was associated with happiness and joy, and he refused to have anything to do with those types of displays.

He continued thinking about how he was going to find the person responsible for all of this when he realized he was again humming.

It was at that point that he remembered there were two more elements to this potion. This was obviously the second.

He had no idea what song he was humming, and that made him even more nervous. He would just have to be on his guard.

He looked up and noticed the students were all staring at him.

“Get back to work before you all get detention!” He was satisfied to see that he could still terrify them. However, he also noticed that most of the females were still smiling to themselves.

*****

“Severus, I am glad to see you in such a good mood.” Professor Dumbledore looked at him over his half-moon glasses. He had a twinkle in his eyes, and this did not go unnoticed by the frustrated professor.

“I most certainly am not in a good mood, Headmaster,” he replied darkly.

“But you are humming, Severus. And a most engaging song, I might add.” He was openly smiling now, and Professor Snape felt warning bells go off in his head.

He had to ask.

“What do you mean?”

“Just that the song you are humming is an old Muggle tune. And it makes me wonder, Severus. Do you really?” he asked mysteriously.

The bells were getting louder, and Snape felt as if he would snap at any moment.

“Do I really what?” he growled.

Then, to his horror, the headmaster broke out into song.

“Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I truly want to be. ‘Cus if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, then everyone would be in love with me.”

The bells in his head exploded. That was the song he had been humming all day.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He slumped forward and put his head on the table.

It only got worse.

“There, there, Severus.” Professor Sprout put her hand on his back. “I could help relieve that stress by giving you a back rub.”

He left the Great Hall as quickly as he could. Whoever was responsible for this was going to die a horrible death. He had been a Death Eater for many years, and he had the knowledge and skill needed to inflict a great amount of pain.

*****

Severus Snape hummed softly to himself. Every once in a while he would catch himself, but it was a great strain on him to try and control it. He had finally given up and dared his students to say anything. Thankfully, they had not heard the headmaster singing and since it was a Muggle song, he felt safe that they did not know the words.

Of course, there were always exceptions.

He stared crossly at Hermione Granger, who was obviously enjoying herself. She was raised as a Muggle and apparently knew the song well. He strode over to her, his robes billowing behind him.

“Miss Granger. Are you enjoying yourself?” His eyes dared her to laugh.

She did not seem to care about the consequences.

“Yes, sir, I am.”

“Then you should really enjoy having detention tonight.” He leaned in closer and whispered, “And bring the book.”