Chapter 7

An Unexpected Baby Boom...

It had taken Bernice's father and uncle only a few days to get the ingredients they needed, but that delayed valuable time needed to brew the potion before Hermione had wanted to leave for Christmas. Bernice had included lots of additional ingredients to her list so that her inquisitive father wouldn't figure out what they were up to and had doled them out to her friends to replenish their potions kits. Nevertheless, Hermione planned to brew the Pseudopregnancy Potion first, since she'd have to make several cauldrons at a time each month, and then brew the Pseudocyesis at the end of the school year so the girls would have it before they would need it to fake the third trimester of their pregnancies.

Draco had taken Hermione to an unused classroom in the dungeons, and he had promised her that she'd be able to brew the potions undisturbed and with the protection of Slytherin House. Ginny and Hermione had discussed it, and they had decided to Apparate to the Burrow for a brief visit on Wednesday the twenty-fourth as soon as the potions were completed. The girls had sought out Professor Podmore, as Head of Gryffindor, to get permission for Ginny to leave the castle with Hermione so she could spend the two days with her family. He had asked why, and Ginny had explained to him that she had too much revision to do to leave for hols, but she missed her family too much not to go. Sturgis took some convincing, but he relented in the end after the girls promised to bring him some of Mrs. Weasley's Christmas biscuits.

The potions were extremely time sensitive and had required steps that took a long time to complete. At different intervals during the brewing process, the potion had to be stirred slowly and in a particular motion for a long time. Hermione had had to either skive off lessons or arrive late a few times during the first three days she started brewing the Pseudopregnancy Potion because she'd wanted to have the potion in its final stage before Christmas Eve.

The students going home for Christmas had left Hogsmeade on the twentieth of December. Mrs. Weasley had sent a letter to Hermione, inviting her to the Burrow for Christmas hols, but Mr. Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt had both sent her and Ginny warnings to stay at the castle. The good news was that with Hermione's status as an eighth-year, she and the other eighth-years had been given the option to come and go as they liked over the hols, as long as they all returned by the fifth of January for lessons.

The day before Draco left school for Christmas hols, he wrote to the Aurory to request visitation rights to see his father in Azkaban for Christmas. The first request was denied. Since he was only allowed to send one request a day, he hurried to the owlery the next morning and sent off another request before leaving for the train station. His notification of denial was waiting for him by the time he arrived at home. He sent the family owl off with his third request the following morning. The Aurory once again denied his request. His fourth was denied also.

Draco sent a deeply emotionally written letter to the Sun and The Quibbler, expressing his concerns that the Ministry of Magic would not allow family members to visit their loved ones in Azkaban, even at Christmas. Both papers ran his letter in the public opinion page. That afternoon, Draco received confirmation that he would be granted a Portkey to visit his father for half an hour on Christmas day.

Draco Apparated to the Apparation site on the cliffs of Dover to take the eleven o'clock Portkey to the visitor's waiting area. The Auror going with him checked Draco's bag thoroughly for any contraband, removing everything but the bar of soap, shampoo, conditioner, clean flannel and the small jar of toothpaste. When he arrived, he waited forty-five minutes for the receptionist to call his name, even though only three other people sat in the waiting room.

Draco was led up several flights of stairs, through three heavily warded steel doors and into a room where his father sat waiting at a table. Two guards stood by the door as Draco walked up to Lucius and sat down. "No touching," one of the men shouted and turned to smirk at his co-worker.

Draco shrugged. "I brought you what I could," he said, looking Lucius in the eye. He nodded once and held eye contact.

Lucius shook his head slightly. "I appreciate anything they would allow through, thank you. How is your mother?"

"She's well," Draco said, nodding slightly, hoping his father would take the hint. Draco smiled at the invasion of Legilimency. He carefully pulled forth the conversations he'd had about the current goings on in the wizarding world as he fidgeted with his fingers nervously on the table. Lucius frowned occasionally when Draco showed him Hermione's Muggle Studies group and the meetings in the Room of Requirement. "Not much has changed at school. Ministry is trying to rattle things up," he said as Lucius fished around in his thoughts to try and piece together what was happening.

"Ain't you gonna talk at all?" the other guard asked.

Lucius nodded, still maintaining his contact with Draco. "They censure our post," Lucius uttered, almost losing his contact with Draco's memories.

"The Daily Prophet is reporting all kinds of things," Draco said and quickly started summarizing what was happening until he felt a hand clasp his shoulder, which made him turn his head.

"Prisoners don' need to know nothin' abou' wha' goin' on ou' there," the guard said gruffly. "Stick to personal an' family stuff."

Once again, Lucius entered Draco's mind, and Draco tried to push forward all the information he could, as he babbled about school, studies, and Quidditch. Lucius broke contact and sighed. "Your mother's last letter was vague. She apparently spent her time after her release at the beach."

Draco smiled. "I know; she has a healthy glow about her. I think the salt air did her good. I had a talk with our solicitor, and things are stable enough. I signed the papers, and the mortgage is paid up. I had been hoping you'd have advised me...but you haven't written any requests. I miss the fun you usually add into your letters."

"We get dull quills," Lucius replied, tapping his finger lightly on the desk. The surly guard admonished him for the tapping.

Draco nodded in understanding. "I have a girlfriend now."

"Anyone I know?" Lucius asked, smirking slightly when Draco had swept his eyes side to side to indicate 'no.'

"Miss Greengrass," he said with a slight nod. "But the way things are now, I won't be able to marry her."

Lucius nodded in understanding. "You treat her right, Draco. I will not have you besmirching the family name of Malfoy by getting the young lady pregnant, you hear me?"

"Yes, father," Draco said as piously as he could.

"Time's up," the guard announced.

"I should be finished giving my testimony in a week," Lucius said as Draco stood to go.

"I'll inform Mother," he said, looking at his dad one last time before the guards hauled him from the room.

Mrs. Weasley was delighted to see the girls, but Mr. Weasley pulled them aside and scolded them for risking leaving the safety of the castle. Ginny emotionally protested that he'd not given them any reason not to spend at least Christmas with the family, and Hermione, feeling hurt and confused, told him that this was the only family she had to spend Christmas with since her parents were still in Australia. Mr. Weasley was so touched, he hugged both girls tightly and kissed their foreheads, saying he understood, but he'd only wanted to protect them. He then adamantly made them promise to return to the castle the day after Christmas, but he wouldn't elaborate as to why. Ginny and Hermione both reluctantly agreed.

Mr. Weasley made a long Floo call to Professor McGonagall that evening, asking Professor McGonagall permission to Floo the girls back the day after Christmas. Afterwards, he pulled Mrs. Weasley over by the pantry to talk. Mrs. Weasley kept shooting furtive glances at the young people gathered around the kitchen table. Whatever Arthur was whispering to his wife, she apparently finally agreed. However, when Mrs. Weasley joined the group, she was all motherly smiles as if nothing was wrong, which made Hermione wonder what Mr. Weasley was keeping from them.

Ron and Harry were delighted to see the girls, nevertheless, even if it was only for a day and a half. The first night, Christmas Eve, Hermione stole up to Ron's room and knocked on the door. As per the girls' plan to claim that the boys had gotten them pregnant, Hermione had decided to sleep with Ron and Ginny with Harry. All it took to get Harry to cooperate was for Hermione to say that Ginny wanted to be alone with him for a bit. Harry tried to brush his hair and changed into a jumper before he crept down the stairs to Ginny's room.

Ron was shy at first. Hermione kicked off her shoes, winking at him and telling him to do the same as she removed her socks. He stood up after tossing them aside, and she pulled his jumper off, sliding her hands on his skin as much as she could, smiling at his look of total disbelief. She ran her hands down his body and kissed him. "It's your turn," she whispered in his ear.

He got her head stuck in her jumper as he tried to pull it over her head, and he fumbled with her bra hooks while kissing her until Hermione simply removed her bra for him. At least when they kissed, he wasn't trying to suck her tonsils out like he used to with Lavender. Ron's appreciative stare at her breasts when he said, "You are so beautiful," as he tenderly caressed her helped Hermione relax and enjoy his touch. She slid her hand down his body, cupped his crotch and slowly felt his length through his trousers, nodding once when he gasped at her brazenness. He managed to get her jeans unzipped okay, but Hermione slid them off and smiled at Ron's amazed stare as he removed his trousers and pants while gaping at her. Hermione took his hand and guided him to his bed before she lost her nerve.

He was awkward at first as they lay touching, caressing, and kissing each other. Hermione reached down and started to stroke him, enjoying the silky feel of his skin on his hard member. Ron practically came in her hand, grabbing her wrist as he begged her to stop. It took some maneuvering, but she managed to roll and scoot onto her back as he touched and fondled her while adjusting his position over her, straddling her leg. At least his fondling her was amazing. Hermione encouraged him as much as she could while also trying to be quiet so as not to be overheard. But what he did with his fingers was driving her out of control. He smiled at her, watching her face as he brought her near orgasm, making her body pulse and quiver.

"Harry and I cast a spell on the room, Hermione, so we could talk and not be overheard," he said softly against her neck. "You don't have to hold back. No one can hear anything." He nipped her earlobe and stuck a finger in her. "Let go. Let it come."

Hermione sucked in her breath and tried to relax against the building sensations low down inside her. Her breathing quickened as Ron stimulated her beyond control. He was watching in smug satisfaction as she stammered out, "Ohmy, oh, my, gods, Ron," over and over, gripping the bed and his arm as she came.

As Hermione came down from her orgasm, Ron positioned himself between her legs and suckled her breast. He became too eager when he placed himself at her entrance, pushed in, and then froze when Hermione cried out in pain, only then slowing down enough to help her adjust to the intrusion.

In the end, they managed to try sex twice before Harry tapped lightly on the door.

The next morning, after unwrapping their presents, the girls went downstairs. The boys ambled in a few minutes later, looking sheepishly at them. The four of them were unusually quiet at breakfast. Apparently, judging by Ginny's smile and Harry's bashful glances across the table, Ginny had had a better time of it than Hermione had, but that was all right. She wasn't a virgin anymore, and Ron had come twice inside her, although he'd been considerate enough to use the Contraceptive Charm. It didn't matter, in three weeks she'd take the Pseudopregnancy Potion and claim Ron as the father anyway.

After lunch, the girls pulled the guys aside and told them what the plan at school was. Harry took the news much better than Ron did. "So last night, that was just so I'd get you pregnant?" he yelled.

"Shush, Ron, no!" Hermione said, trying to get him to calm down. "I wanted it to be you...no one else. Ginny wanted it to be Harry, and I wanted my first time to be you!" She was glad that they'd decided to sit in the orchard and away from the house.

"Sure, so you could get pregnant!" Ron sputtered angrily.

"The potion fakes pregnancy! But I was, as you know, a virgin! How would I be able to convince them I was pregnant if I was still a virgin?" she tried to explain, grabbing his arm when he turned away.

"Look, mate, they had their reasons. You hear the rumors, the Muggle-born Liaison Commission is gearing up, and pretty soon everyone is going to have to get married. I'm glad Ginny still wants me!" Harry said, trying to make Ron see reason.

"What do you know about what's going on?" Hermione asked as Ginny asked, "What have you heard?"

Harry pulled a leaf from the apple tree and began to tell them what he knew. Other than the fact that all eligible childbearing age witches were to be matched up with eligible and fertile wizards, he didn't tell them anything they didn't already know.

"Do you know when they are going to start matching everyone up?" Ginny asked.

"Yes, after everyone finishes the census forms," Ron spat. "They are going to force people to get married, and the Aurors have to arrest the ones that won't cooperate."

Hermione looked up at him. "Don't you see, Ron! This...us...it solidifies us as a couple. When I take the potion, no one can deny that the baby I'm supposedly going to be carrying is yours and Ginny's, Harry's."

"So you wanted to have babies out of wedlock! Is that it?" he asked, still being unreasonable.

Hermione explained the loophole she'd found in the Marriage Law. "This way, you and I are held in question, off the eligibility list. I don't want to be married before I finish school, and no, I don't want to actually be pregnant. I'm just going to fake it for a while. I do want kids, but not right away, and I do want them with you...if we decide to get married. But I want that to be our choice, not something shoved down my throat by a Ministry Yenta!"

"So you are just using me. That's it, isn't it! Great!" Ron sneered and stormed off.

Harry hung his head. "Ron and I are both going to be on the first list. We've already had to fill out the census form, and we will be among the first to be matched up. I think I like your plan, it makes sense to me, and I trust you, Hermione. Let me go talk to him. He's just hurt and confused by what's going on, that's all," Harry said. He kissed Ginny and got to his feet. "You'll see. Things will be all right. It's just, well, guys don't like being used, that's all."

Hermione glared at him. "It was my first time, and I wanted it to be with him! Him!"

Harry held up his hands. "I got that. Every witch who is seventeen to forty-five is on the list, and I think they are looking for wizards up to fifty-five, but I'm not sure. I heard rumors that even blokes as old as sixty-five... As long as you are capable of bearing or producing kids, and there are questions on the census form for the guys...something about financial viability and owning a house... Those in their prime are on the first list, including Ron and me. You know Ron was looking to rent a flat. He's changed his mind and is living with me most of the time, now."

"Hermione and I haven't filled out the form yet," Ginny stated. "If you two are already on the Yenta's list, does that mean you'll be matched..." Harry turned his head and nodded and both girls gasped. "Then I'm glad I'm naming you, Harry. If I sue you for the paternity of my unborn baby, you're protected under the Bastard Law, too!"

Harry turned and made a half smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Even if I got you pregnant, I already promised to marry you. I still want to."

Ginny jumped up and hugged him, and Harry buried his face in her hair, squeezing her tightly.

"What about Ron? What if the Wizengamot says he has to get married to someone else? What then? What if I'm ineligible or on a second or third list, or something, and they simply match him up with someone on the first list? Or, they say I can't marry him and match me up to someone I don't know?" Hermione ranted, waving her arm, first in the direction Ron had disappeared and then in a broad sweeping motion. "Or someone finically viable...regardless of his age? I'm not even ready to get married! Let alone breed babies for the next generation of wizardkind! This should be my...our...choice, not some Ministry paper pusher with a God complex!" Hermione hugged her knees and rested her head on her arms.

Ginny sat down next to Hermione and put a hand on her arm. "Hermione, we're all affected by this nonsense. But so far we haven't been able to stop it," she said calmly.

"I think you should know that the Social Heritage, Marriage, and Registration Committee, the head of the M.L.E. Mrs. Hopkirk, the chief warlock and key members of the Wizengamot, and the Minister have all been flooded with letters and Howlers from angry parents and citizens alike, wanting an explanation about the questions in the census, and about the Ministry's arranged engagements. They had to hire loads of secretaries."

"Good," Hermione snapped. "About time they wizened up."

"Let me go talk to Ron. I'm sure things will work out," he said, turning to go.

"At least the parents are trying to do something," Ginny said, getting up. "I'm cold."

Hermione stood up and wiped the snow off her bum. "Gin, the parents who lost their kids under the Grandparent program haven't gotten their kids back. That program is still on, in full swing, just no more abductions and forced adoptions. This census; did you hear what Harry said about the questions? Did you hear him say forced engagements? That's what Draco has been saying all along. That's what's going on, and we're not in a position to stop it! All I can hope for is to find a loophole and get anyone who doesn't want to go along...out. If I can do that, then there is hope."

"Well, I'm with you," Ginny agreed.

That night, Harry snuck into the girls' room and asked Hermione if she wanted to be with Ron for a bit. Hermione agreed, more to give Ginny and Harry privacy. Much to her dismay, Ron mistook her visit to mean she wanted to have sex again. When he started to fondle her, she realized that she was still a bit sore. At least the second night hadn't been as painful as the first.

The next morning, Mr. Weasley insisted that the girls return to the castle. Hermione used the coin to find Draco as soon as she left the Headmistress' office. He responded, saying that he was at home, but he had to talk to her the moment he returned on Sunday. In fact, many of the students requested to return to the castle a week early, and the Hogwarts Express made a special run to Hogsmeade on Sunday the twenty-eighth.

Saturday night at dinner, the Great Hall was abuzz regarding the Muggle-born Liaison Commission's census form. All the students who'd spent the week at home had been required to fill out the long questionnaire. According to whomever Hermione asked that day, the form apparently took most of the students who'd filled it out an hour or more to answer all the questions, and many of the questions were repetitious or simply reworded. A lot of the questions had to do with choosing between options, like decision making and preferences, not so much as a normal matchmaker's inquiry.

Professor McGonagall stood up before pudding was served. "May I have your attention, please," she called out. "If you are fifteen or older, or if you will turn fifteen this year, please remain seated. The rest of you may now return to your houses. Desserts and hot cocoa will be served in your common rooms."

Hermione and her friends sat nervously in their seats.

"If any of you have completed the census and have a certificate of completion, you may rise and return also. Your Heads of House will be by to collect your certificates," Professor McGonagall stated. "If you have not taken the census, you are to remain."

Hermione looked around the room to see who got up to leave and then turned her attention back to the Headmistress.

"Those of you remaining, you will be here tomorrow morning after breakfast to fill out the census. A parchment and quill is being placed on each table." She indicated to Professor Flitwick who was doing just that. "You will sign your name and then you may go to your common rooms." She stood a moment longer as if wanting to say more, but sat down after a lengthy pause. When the quill and parchment was passed to her, Hermione signed her name, then passed it to Ginny, and waited until her friends all signed it before getting up to go. At the other three tables, several of the students looked at her with mixed expressions of apprehension, confusion, anxiety, and sadness.

Hermione sent a message through the coins, asking the primary contacts of each house to meet in the library after everyone had finished the census. Hermione, Ginny, Cecil, and Luna finished first. It was the first time Hermione had ever rushed through anything in her life without really caring about the answers to the questions. Draco, Susan, and Thomas arrived a short time later, and Hermione filled them in on what had been discussed.

After spending nearly all morning filling out the dreaded census form, many of the students approached the group sitting in the library about taking the Pseudopregnancy and Pseudocyesis Potions.

Julianna Connery, a seventh-year Slytherin, brought Hermione a list of all the Slytherin girls who wanted to take the potion. "We had a meeting in the common room, and we decided to go along with your plan...all of us. It's better to make our own decisions than have them made for us...especially something as big as this. So, we're in. I have also gotten all our, er, everyone's dates, you know, for when we need to take it."

"Thank you," Hermione said, taking the list. She asked Julianna to tell the girls to meet in the Room of Requirement later that night to learn more about the potion and the side effects. She turned to Susan and Luna.

"I think the Slytherin girls are right," Susan stated. "I'm going to ask all of the Hufflepuff girls and see who's really in and who doesn't have the guts to do something about our situation and wants to take their chances with the S.H.M.R.C."

"I think it's good, asking them to decide. I don't want to force anyone into this," Hermione agreed. "Connery is right; it's best if they decide for themselves."

"I'll make a similar list and to try and get the dates each girl would need to take their first dose in my house as well," Luna said resolutely.

"It's funny, all of us banding together," Julianna stated, watching her finger as she made circles on the tabletop.

"Actually, I'm really glad we have Slytherin with us," Hermione said, and everyone, including Julianna looked at her. "I mean, Draco has been a huge help in planning and everything. Sure I have sources, but he saw what was coming before I did. I'm really grateful."

Julianna smiled. "You're all right, Granger. I'll let the girls know about the meeting."

Susan and Luna promised to pass on the same message and left quickly to find out who was really going to go through with this.

When Hermione entered the common room, most of the girls who'd taken the census were gathered together, talking about it. She asked them to find all the other girls who were being manipulated by the S.H.M.R.C. and bring them to her dorm room. The room was crowded only a few minutes later as Hermione asked them if they were really willing to take such a drastic stand. The pros and cons were discussed at length with only a handful choosing to bow out. Hermione told them they could change their mind at any time. The rest of the girls signed a list and indicated when they'd need their potion.

Hermione enlisted the help of her dorm mates and several other girls after the meeting to fill almost two hundred small vials filched from the Potions classroom.

That night, when the girls all started to arrive for the meeting, each girl was given a monthly dose, which had a small tag on it. Once again, the girls all discussed the pros and cons of trying to fool the Ministry. The Slytherin girls were staunch supporters of taking matters into their own hands, and the Ravenclaws debated the rational choice of thinking for themselves...not a Ministry Yenta. In the end, only a handful backed out. The others were resolute.

"Okay, you all have your first dose. Write the date on the tag when you'll start your next cycle and take the potion. Your cycle might stop, that's expected, but it's okay if it doesn't. When you break the seal of the vial and drink the potion, the date when you should take the next dose will appear. It should be approximately the date of the first day of your next cycle. Be sure to come see me so I can refill the vial and reset the charm before that date. You must take the potion each month for the first five months. Then we take the Pseudocyesis Potion on the sixth month thru your ninth," Hermione explained carefully before they all left. "Hopefully by that time, if not sooner, this horrible law will be appealed."

Ginny saw Draco in the Entrance Hall the next morning on her way to breakfast. "Harry and Ron said to send you their best," she told Draco.

"Oh, I just bet they did," he scoffed at her. "When do the girls start taking the potion?"

"It will vary per girl, but we have it all worked out," she replied. "Hermione was very clear about when we are to take it, and she's going to remind them again. By the way, she wants another meeting with all the girls in the Room of Requirement tonight."

"Good. Me and the guys...from all the houses...we had a meeting too. We've been making a list of who is willing to be sued for impregnating the girls. Nearly all of us have signed the form. Some of them are still hoping that they can marry their girlfriends, though, so they wrote down who they're seeing. Most of us are a little worried about how this will go, but you Dumbledore's Army lot...we decided to trust you. It's what swayed most of us...you standing up to the Ministry like you did before. I think it will work." He handed her a long rolled up piece of parchment. "Here, give this list to Hermione."

She started to unroll the parchment, looking at the names. "What if there aren't enough guys?"

"I'll deal with that when the dragon flames," he said with a smirk. "In a pinch, some of us can afford to have two girls sue us at the same time, might add to the confusion if we did. The parchment is divided into four columns: each guy's name, his signature, then a space for the girl's name, and her signature. That way there is no overlap unless we have to."

"Draco, that's brilliant!" Ginny beamed, rolling it back up.

"I do have my moments," he said, smirking. "This is to protect us guys too, all of us, so we have to be named, right? This way, every guy who isn't submitting a notification of a prearranged engagement is accused. As I said, lots of the guys wrote down their girl's name, hoping that the Bastard Law will enable them to marry their girlfriends."

"That's a good idea," Ginny said, stuffing the parchment into her bag. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Not if I see you first," he teased her, turning to go. "Tell Hermione we're standing with you on this."

"Sure."

At first, Madam Pomfrey simply smiled at the girls who came in asking for something to take for morning sickness and gave them the prenatal potions to take each morning. When more and more girls came in for the same symptoms, and none of them requested pregnancy testing, Poppy started to get suspicious, but kept her mouth closed. As March rolled around, nearly every girl, fifteen and up, were taking prenatal potions, and eighty or so were taking potions to relieve morning sickness.

Poppy remembered the special Valentine's Day edition of the Prophet, which listed of all the newly betrothed couples Mrs. Havershiems had successfully matched through her professional matchmaking skills with a snort of derision.

At the end of March when Edithe Havershiems of The Social Heritage, Marriage, and Registration Committee announced that the Ministry would begin matching young couples, based upon her compatibility profiling, Poppy understood what the girls were doing. For the first two weeks, Poppy asked all of the pregnant girls what they intended to do and told them what their options were. Every one of the girls said they were keeping their babies, even if the father wasn't supporting them.

Poppy wanted to scream at that point. As a Healer, and under the Bastard Law, every pregnancy in which the unmarried witch chose to keep the child, she was obligated to report it to the Wizengamot. The Wizengamot then sent a form, insisting that the date of conception and the name of the wizard, or father, be identified, and a paternity suit was filed. Then at the beginning of the third trimester, Poppy would have to perform a Paternity Charm to verify if the accused wizard was indeed responsible. That meant having the expectant mother and the accused, forcibly if necessary, in her hospital wing. At this rate, she'd be handling one hundred and five cases. One hundred and five! Oh, my... over a hundred... She looked at her log and started counting. Seventeen eighth-years, twenty-two seventh-years... twenty-five sixth-years and fifteen fifth-years... Oh, my!

Then it dawned on her just why none of the girls requested a pregnancy test. She smiled as she read the list while waiting for the Headmistress to arrive in her office.

"Minerva, I don't understand it," Madam Pomfrey said as she pulled a thick folder from her filing cabinet. "One hundred and five girls have come to see me regarding morning sickness and other pregnancy related issues."

"One...how long has this been going on, and why wasn't I told immediately?" Minerva said in shock, plopping down into the chair in front of the Healer's desk.

"I have been tracking the girls for several weeks now. Nearly all the fifth- through seventh-, excuse me, eighth-years seem to have gotten pregnant...on purpose," Poppy said calmly. "If I didn't know better, there is a plot afoot. Didn't you tell me that Mrs. Hopkirk sent you a letter informing you that the students were to be given suitable matches? If I didn't know better, I'd say we have an activist here at Hogwarts who is engaging all the girls who are susceptible to this infernal Marriage Law in a rebellion against the Social Heritage, Marriage, and Registration Committee's newest development." Poppy handed Minerva the heavy file.

"The Ministry's Marriage Law," Minerva said thoughtfully, accepting the folder and reading down the list of names. "Nearly every eligible girl in school..."

"Correction, every eligible girl at Hogwarts is now ineligible for matching from this Ministry Yenta under the provisions of the Bastard Law."

Minerva dropped the file on the desk. "All of them...suing for paternity...you cannot be serious!"

Poppy sighed. "Oh, but I am. Ever since the Daily Prophet announced that the Ministry was going to matchup the female population based upon this compatibility profile they arranged by means of the Ministry's census, the girls have all come forth and announced intent to keep their babies. All one hundred and five, and they gave me the names of the ninety-six boys who impregnated them. Apparently, nine boys impregnated two girls each."

"And they are all suing for paternity?" Minerva asked.

"Each and every one," Poppy replied, turning the folder so she could read it. "Miss Granger claims Ronald Weasley as the father of her child, and Ginevra Weasley has claimed Harry Potter responsible! Draco Malfoy is claimed in two suits as is Cecil Benders, Thomas Knightly, Anthony Goldstein, Terry Boot, and Ernie Macmillan, to name a few."

"Messers Goldstein, Boot, and Macmillan were in Dumbledore's Army; Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Benders, they've been seen with the girls in Gryffindor quite a bit this year..." Minerva said, her voice trailing off as she stared at the potions cabinet behind Poppy. "I have no idea why Mr. Malfoy or Mr. Benders would be so reckless as to purposefully impregnate not one, but two girls, other than to assure they are ineligible for forced engagements... But the other boys, they are defenders, brave lads; they may have done it at the girls' requests."

"Minerva, I never said that the girls were, in fact, pregnant," Poppy stated, enjoying the confused look on the Headmistress' face. "I said they seem to have gotten pregnant. I never confirmed any of them."

"What?" Minerva gasped in shock.

Poppy smiled and nodded. "Yes, not one of them wanted to confirm their pregnancy. They dutifully reported it, but not one girl asked to have the Pregnancy Charm done."

Minerva swallowed and adjusted the broach at her throat. "All of them."

Poppy nodded. "All of them. Seems to me that they knew they were, without any doubts, pregnant; or there may be another explanation. It's farfetched, considering that Hogwarts doesn't have the directions for the potion in the library, but the symptoms are all there. The Pseudopregnancy Potion."

"But... How?" Minerva stammered in total disbelief. "How is that possible?"

"One Draco Malfoy is my guess; or Cecil Benders possibly. Both the Benders and the Malfoys have rather expansive libraries," Poppy said, folding her hands on her desk on top of the folder. "I don't know how, or when, but it fits with the why. And I can't say I blame them for trying."

"So what do we do?" Minerva asked. "The girls, they are not harming themselves with this potion, are they?"

"Oh, no. I'm not concerned in that regard. But my guess is that Edithe Havershiems is going to be quite upset when she discovers that every young girl that Graceilla Warblock and Charles Polister tried to wrangle in for her to play matchmaker for is ineligible. This is going to really upset that witch. The Ministry may demand I make the girls submit to the Pregnancy Charm."

Minerva smiled. "But of course, you cannot unless they consent."

"Exactly," Poppy said with a sigh.

"Are you ready to face that?" Minerva asked. "I'll support you, if you are."

"It's the least I can do," Poppy said resolutely.

Minerva nodded and stat up straighter. "Then you will have all the support I can give you."

"Thank you, Headmistress."