Back to Reality

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing here except the plot. Happy reading!

I'd like to thank my original beta, Charmed Nay, and CocoaChristy, who is now helping me dust this off and making it presentable.

Hermione woke up a few hours later. Even though the candle next to her bed was nearly burnt out, she could still make out Draco's features on the form lying near her. Bits and pieces came back to her. She remembered sitting at the lake. She remembered crying. She remembered Lavender... and Draco. What was he doing here? He could have easily told everyone that they had broken up. Maybe it was guilt. I guess I might have stayed out a bit too long, which was very foolish, but I needed someplace private to sort my feelings out.

Suddenly, she remembered something. I love you, he had said. They were here... alone. He'd seemed sincere if her memory served her correctly. Surely it wasn't just a dream. If he could possibly love her and want a real relationship, then she would want to try to make things work. She had to tell him how she felt and why she was upset. If he taunted her, so be it. At least she would know that she'd honestly tried. "Draco?" Her voice sounded a bit weak, even to herself. She had no idea how it managed to wake him, but he jolted upright.

"Hermione!" He hugged her instantly. "I've never been so worried before. Pomfrey and Dumbledore said you would be all right, but I just couldn't stop thinking that..."

"I'm all right. That was really stupid of me to venture out in such weather, but I needed time to think... about us." She felt his arms tense around her. Apparently that's not what he wants to hear. I don't care. I'm going to say what I have to say whether he likes it or not.

"I'm so sorry. I know you have every right to hate me for what I did. I was just so dis..."

She interrupted him, saying, "Draco, I had no right to be so upset about that. I'm not truly your girlfriend. I hurt your feelings, and you did only what made you feel better. I suppose I can understand that." She sighed. "But when I saw her with you, I was just so jealous and hurt. It felt as if something sacred had been tainted."

"Hermione, how do you really feel about me? Our little deal aside, I'd like to know." He gazed at her evenly.

Here goes nothing. "I have fallen in love with you. I didn't mean to, but you turned out to be someone that I honestly believe I can spend my life with. We get on so well. Everyone accepted us, though we've deceived them all. It seems such a shame to... end things." She bit her lip and looked down.

Placing a finger beneath her chin, he lifted her face up so that he could look into her eyes as he said, "I love you. All of these weeks that we've spent pretending have enabled us to grow closer, and it's allowed me to see you as you are. I really want us to be together. I need you."

Hermione hugged him tightly, tears shining in her eyes. Those words had been what she'd wanted to hear for a while now. Only a couple of months before, she'd never have believed that she and Draco Malfoy would be lovers, nearly. "Ca-Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"You and Lavender... What, I mean, how did that happen?" She looked away again, not wanting to meet his eyes. He had caught her spying after all. She felt her face heating.

Draco sighed, and when he spoke, his voice was hushed. "I was angry because I was about to ask you to truly be my girl and tell you that I love you when we argued. When I left, I was angry and wanted to do anything to make myself feel less... ridiculous or in control of my feelings. I don't know what came over me, but when she bumped into me, I told her she owed me one for putting her filthy hands on me. She simply backed me to the wall, dropped to her knees, and asked if I would allow her mouth on me. I... ah... accepted." He forced her to look back at him so he could see her eyes. "I feel rotten about it. I'm sorry, and I do wish I could change things."

"I don't like it. I'll admit that, but I had no say so either way. You weren't mine, not really."

"But I was yours, Hermione. You did have a say, though you didn't know it. It was you I wanted. That's what makes it all the worse." He looked away. "I should have said something sooner, but you were always going on about how "fake" we were. I didn't want you to reject me. I do love you." He smiled and faced her again. "You make me want to be good. I want a chance to show that I can be."

"And you make me want to be bad. Maybe we should start anew." She grinned wickedly before pulling him to her for a kiss, firmly pressing her lips to his and prodding with her tongue for entrance. It was the first time that she'd completely put all of her feelings into her kiss. What made it better was that she knew for a fact that he wanted her and had feelings for her...had chosen her and fallen in love with her. They were both breathless when they broke apart.

"Holy shite," he said, as he quivered. "I felt that everywhere without you touching anything else."

"Me too," she agreed, thinking of the feelings the kiss evoked, causing a shiver to pass through her body. He mistook it for her being cold. He pulled her back onto her pillow and pulled the blanket back up around them.

Satisfied that she was comfortable, he eased up on one elbow to look at her, but he kept a hand on her body, not wanting to lose contact with her just yet. "So, what now, Hermione?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, we've been doing good as we were, haven't we? Need we change anything?"

"Not a thing. I just meant... Will things change between us now that we are real?" He was uncertain if she'd understand exactly what he meant, but he had to know, not wanting to go too far and wanting to see how she felt about moving their relationship along. The sudden blush rising in her cheeks told him that she'd likely understood what he meant. He saw her swallow before speaking.

"Things will change for us I'm sure...for the better... in that way. I just need time to... Oh, please don't be angry with me, but..." Her voice trailed away as she closed her eyes.

His heart dropped. Was she changing her mind? "I won't be angry. Just say it. No more secrets," he encouraged when she didn't continue.

"I need to get the picture of her with you out of my head. Please, Draco, don't take this the wrong way. Although we are talking, that one scene keeps coming back to replay in my mind." She panicked when he turned away from her. She sat up quickly and clutched at his side to make him face her. "Wait. Don't be that way. I love you, and I forgive you. I just need to try to let that memory fade. Forgiving is not forgetting, if you understand. Not right away."

He shook his head sadly. "Hermione, she was nothing. That was just a bit of messing around. You are the only one for me, the only one I care for."

"Just messing around? I mean... something like that is sacred and not to be taken so casually, Draco. Not for me anyway." She let go of the hand that had found hers. "I always believed that to do that with someone you had to love him or at least care about the person. Then, here you come, saying that all someone does is ask to have sex, as if it were a bloody business arrangement!"

"Hermione, no, it's different with you. I have feelings for you. They meant nothing to me. It won't be that way with us." He had to make her understand that there was casual sex, the need to seek orgasm, but then there was what they had together, the need to share everything and seek things together. "It's not always like the books that you've read with the perfect romance and courtship. Sometimes things are different."

"Draco, I know it's not like in my books. You've told me that already. I just think of sex...in any form...differently than you do is all. I mean... Can I trust that you will only be with me?"

"You're all I want," he said honestly, feeling that they were finally getting somewhere.

"Just promise me that, and I'll promise to never leave you."

"Only you, always." He placed a hand on her cheek, and she smiled in return. "We can do this."

A thought occurred to her. "What of your parents?"

"They haven't disowned me yet, have they? I figure we can just keep things as they are. No need to tell them anything."

He seemed so positive about it that she would not worry on it any longer. No longer would she have to lie next to him each night, fearing that she would give her body to him for naught. It would be for love. If he loved her in return, she wouldn't simply be allowing him to use her while using him in return. She'd been so tempted as of late. His kisses and caresses had been getting bolder, and she'd been eagerly accepting them, doing the same in return. There would no longer be a line that they couldn't cross, keeping them from going further. The vision of his hands tangled in Lavender's hair while her head bobbed against his center came to mind. She pushed it away, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Choosing to smile instead, she said, "We will get used to this together, though it might take some time." She kissed him chastely and pulled away. "Oh," she said cheekily, "come here." She pulled him back to her again, kissing him again. This time, though, she hugged him more tightly and kissed him passionately.

"What of Christmas then?" he asked softly.

"Well, I will still be going home. I have missed my parents, and I would like to tell them about us...now that there is an us." She looked down shyly. "I could ask for you to stay over if you'd like." Part of her worried that he wouldn't want to stay in her home, as it was a Muggle home, but when she looked up, he was smiling.

"I think I would like that. I'll go home to see my parents first, but we can make arrangements via owl." He paused for a moment and asked, "Think they will like me?"

"Yes, I do. Will you feel strange being in a Muggle house?" she asked bluntly. There could be no lies between them. Mostly, she needed to know if he would accept her dirty blood...really accept it and realize what he was getting himself into.

"I think any place that you come from can't be bad. They've done a good job with you, haven't they?" He pinched her nose lightly.

She pushed away and giggled. Then, more seriously, she asked, "Does it not bother you anymore... that I am a Mudblood?"

"Strangely enough, no. I see you as only a witch, and I see myself as only a wizard. You've taught me that." He looked down for a moment. "You don't know how much I can feel myself changing. It's a good change though."

"I've noticed that you've changed as well, and I like that change. I think that I've changed also. Do you not see it?" she asked coyly.

"The only thing I see is that you are more beautiful every time I look at you."

She laughed. "What I meant was... do I still seem to be a pesky know-it-all?"

He thought for a moment. She had changed. She didn't annoy him any longer with all her facts and superior attitude. "Right. I did not notice until just now. You just kind of grew on me."

She playfully hit his arm. "My bad, naughty Draco," she whispered.

A voice drew them apart. "You're all better I see, Miss Granger!" Madam Pomfrey smiled softly. "I am happy to say that you can return to your dormitory as soon as you feel the need. I see my Thawing Potion has done the trick!"

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. I feel much better now." Hermione smiled warmly.

"Well, yes, of course you do," she said self-importantly, but she then added chidingly, "if it wasn't for your young man there, I don't know that you would have gotten here in time for the potion to work."

Hermione blushed. My young man. That he is, isn't he? She grinned at Draco. He looked worse than she felt. He had bags under his eyes, hair disheveled, and clothes rumpled. "Draco, maybe you should be resting."

He was in the middle of a protest when Madame Pomfrey spoke. "Don't even bother him about it. I've been after him since he brought you in to be off to his room for some sleep. Hard head, that one." She scurried off to check on another patient.

He laughed. "Maybe we should go back to your room, and I could crawl in with you for a little while if you don't mind." He held up his hands. "I'll behave."

"All right. I need to get dressed first. Could you give me my clothes?" she asked, nodding to the pile of folded clothing on the stand next to the bed.

"Sure," he gave the clothes to her and turned away to allow her to dress comfortably. "I'm sure Weasley and Potter will be happy to see you."

"Oh... did they give you much trouble?"

Draco shook his head. "Not really. I think they'll just be glad that things have been sorted out for us."

"When I went to find you last night, I wanted to tell you that Ron and Pansy were the ones that were snogging on the Astronomy Tower."

"I gathered as much when she came in later to speak to him." He shrugged. "Good. Less trouble for us as far as I'm concerned."

"I agree."

He detected a change in her tone. "What is it?" he asked.

"We've only a few days before the holiday, and it's not that I don't want you to sleep in my bed with me..."

"But?"

"I'll admit that I keep thinking of Lavender."

"I won't ever speak to her again... or look at her. I promise," he said, turning back to face her as she fastened the last of her buttons on her blouse.

"Draco, stop. I believe you, but I want to be certain that I can deal with it before..." She blushed. "You know..."

"Before we make love," he finished for her.

"Yes."

"Hermione, I won't do anything that you don't want me to do. You know that."

"That's the problem," she whispered. "I'm confused. I find myself wanting to be with you in that way, and then, I find myself wanting to wait." She moved to stand next to him. "For now, to be safe, I think we should sleep apart at night to make certain that we don't go too far. I want to wait until the time is right for us... a time when the memory of that bitch isn't clouding my mind. I won't let her ruin my... er... our first time."

"Whatever you want," he agreed, not wanting to jeopardize anything. He'd give her all the time she needed, but he knew it would only be a matter of time before they would be together in every way, especially since she returned his feelings. I should have never talked to Lavender in the first place.

********************************************

"So," Harry ventured, "do you think that she should have forgiven him so easily?"

Ron shrugged. "I don't know. The git didn't leave her side the whole time, and he does seem to really care. I just don't want her to be hurt again... or used."

"Me either, mate," Harry agreed, "but I think that Malfoy is serious about her." He leaned forward. "I heard Zabini telling Bullstrode that his mother had heard that Narcissa Malfoy was beside herself over the relationship."

"Well, if he's told his parents and risked getting his inheritance taken away, I'd have to agree that he's serious."

"What of your new relationship? Is her father as upset as Malfoy's mum?" Harry asked, wondering if Ron would be welcome in the Parkinson home.

"She's not told them just yet, but she plans to over the holiday." He looked down. "I'm a bit nervous about that." His eyes narrowed. "You going to tell my mum about you and Ginny?"

Harry grinned. "She already knows. Ginny's told her."

"And?"

"She's happy."

"Glad to hear it," Ron said. "I think Ginny always knew you'd be the one for her, and I think Mum agreed with her. For what it's worth, so did I."

"What are you two sitting over here whispering about?" Ginny asked, plopping down next to Harry.

"Holidays."

"Quidditch."

Ginny giggled. "Right." She smiled at Harry. "I'm ready to go back to Gryffindor Tower. Will you walk me?"

"Of course," he said eagerly, knowing they'd stop a few times along the way for a bit of snogging. "Talk to you later, Ron."

"Yeah, sure. Go on and leave me here alone," Ron said, sulking slightly... until he noticed Pansy entered the common room. "Er... right. See you later." He stood and made his way over to her.

"Who would have thought?" Ginny asked in amazement.

"Not me," Harry replied. "Maybe I should bring my cloak. Snape or Filch has been showing up every time we stop lately and nearly catching us.

"Oh, so you're planning on having a few stops then?" she asked cheekily.

"Definitely."

Southern's Notes: That's it for Hogwarts. Next, we will see Hermione's parents' reaction to Draco, and Lucius Malfoy comes for a visit. Interestingly enough, he has plans of his own where Hermione is concerned.

Christy's Notes: I am so happy they made up, although I can see her point of view. That would be hard for me to get out of my mind, too. Seems like they are going to be fine though!