Dangerous Decisions

Disclaimer: These characters belong to J.K.R. I'm just using them and not making money whilst doing so!

I want to thank CocoaChristy for helping me dust this off to make it presentable, and I'd also like to thank my original beta, Charmed Nay.

Draco felt that the last few weeks had changed him somehow. He found himself speaking to people he'd never liked before, and he'd learned that some of them weren't all that bad. It was true that most came from homes that were inferior to his family, but he didn't mind conversing with some. Dating Hermione, unfortunately, meant studying often. Though his grades had never been all that bad, he'd never received better marks until he'd started hanging around with her. There was no denying that he wanted her to remain in his life. That became apparent with each day he spent pretending to be her lover.

How could one not grow to care for someone that was always with him? He'd kissed her each day, he'd held her each day, and he'd taken to sleeping in her room often. Although they had never done anything more than a few caresses and some heavy snogging, they'd nearly lost control a couple of times. He made certain to take advantage of every moment they had alone together, claiming the need to fool his father should he pop in. His parents' owls were no longer filled with their disappointed words. They seemed to be relaxing and giving him space. Finally. He felt that he could pursue her without worry of their demands if he wanted to.

But how exactly did she feel? Draco knew that she was attracted to him. Who wouldn't be after spending each day of the past couple of months pretending to be in love? Weasley had backed off immensely and was even on speaking terms with Draco, mostly. Potter paid them no mind, dating the littlest Weasley. Pansy was seeing more of her secret boyfriend. Would Hermione turn him down if he asked her to truly have a relationship? She'd likely toss him aside as she did with Weasley. He snorted. Hell, she might make a deal with some other bloke to pretend to date her to be rid of me.

Draco grinned when Hermione edged closer, breaking into his line of thoughts. "Tired of reading, are you?"

"It's a bit noisy in here," she said.

"Let's go for a walk," Draco suggested, realizing that this would be a perfect opportunity for him to ask her about her feelings. If he only ended up straining things between them, he would simply have to live with it. He took Hermione by the hand and led her up to the Astronomy Tower. When they came out onto the roof, they saw two figures in the corner; they seemed to be enjoying themselves...snogging heavily. He pulled Hermione back through the door, not wanting to disturb whomever it was.

Laughing, they hurried down to the first corridor off of the stairway. "Guess someone's having a right good time."

"Definitely," he said, easily pulling her into his arms and leaning back against the wall with her. He couldn't wait any longer to tell her how he felt and what he would like to develop between them. Softly, almost shyly, he stated, "It's Christmas next weekend."

"Yes, and finally a break after our exams. I can't wait for some of Mum's pumpkin pie. Nobody makes it like she does!" Hermione exclaimed excitedly.

"I'll owl you every day," he said, wondering how to voice his feelings. He knew she'd be uncomfortable joining him at his home, but Draco hoped he could get Hermione to invite him to hers.

She pulled back, looking at him suspiciously. "Why?"

Damn. Looking her in the eyes, he said mockingly, "Well, because I will miss you. Why else?"

"Draco, you don't have to do that. I mean... I'm not really your girlfriend." She moved away from him and eyed him expectantly.

That stung him more than he would have liked to admit. He'd never before been so open with anyone, much less a girl, much less someone like Hermione. "Right," he said, but he couldn't hide the hurt in his voice. "I'm nothing... not really. Only someone you're using to get one over on Weasley." He knew that he'd used her for the same reason, but that had changed. He truly wanted to be with her. It simply hurt that she didn't feel the same way.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. "That sounded horrible. I didn't mean..."

He became angry. "You know, I don't want your pity. Don't look at me like that. It was just a nice gesture, nothing more." He brushed by her, walking down the dark corridor, pausing when she asked him to wait. When she didn't speak, he said, "Think I'll be off now to get in a good shag before the holidays. Just make excuses for me in the common room. Night." He glowered at her for a moment, pleased that she seemed as stung as he'd been. With that, he stalked off, leaving Hermione with her mouth open.

She replayed the conversation in her mind over and over. Were her words truly so hurtful that he'd turned them about and hurt her with them? Why did it bother her that he was going to go shag someone? Why did he seem so hurt when she'd told him not to bother owling? Had he fallen for her? Her heart began beating wildly. She'd been falling for him a little each day over the past couple of months. If he would really want a relationship, then she'd definitely... No, he had as much as told her that he was just being nice.

The door to the Astronomy Tower opened and steps sounded. As the couple made their way down the stairs, Hermione ducked into the shadows just in time to see them pass. It was Pansy and Ron that had been up there snogging! Well, this was a turn of events. If it was Ron that Pansy wanted with the affection being mutual, then she and Draco were in the clear. They could end this now. End it now before she fell in too deep. As much as she hated to admit it, Harry had been right. She had gotten used to having Draco there for her. Even that bit of Malfoy display he'd just had didn't change things. They had been "dating" far longer than their planned month, and she realized that neither of them had seemed in too big a hurry to break things off. She wanted answers, wanted him to explain his emotions just now, and wanted to know if he truly wanted to end things.

She had to find him right away and tell him what she'd just seen. It was only right. She went down the corridor that he had taken. It was a dark passageway and led to the dungeons. She came to a fork in the path and didn't know which way to take. The one on the left was very dark. The one on the right had a little light farther down. She could hear someone talking. Maybe it was Draco. She went silently in that direction.

Nothing prepared her for what she saw when she peeked around the corner. One of her Housemates, Lavender Brown, was on her knees in front of Draco. She had his penis in her mouth and her hands on his waist. He had his eyes closed and was pushing her head closer to him each time she pulled back. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she clasped a hand over her mouth, muffling a cry. Draco opened his eyes and looked at her.

She spun on her heel and ran back the way she had come. "Hermione, wait!" She heard him calling after her, but she wouldn't stop. She couldn't face him. When she got to their common room, she paused for breath. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks. She tried to sneak to the stairway that led to her dorm, but Harry spotted her.

"Oi!" he called. She tried to pass by, but he reached out to stop her. "Thanks for picking up that book for me at the library. It really..." He stopped abruptly. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not!" she wailed suddenly, unable to help it. Her hopes had been dashed, and the man that she loved was allowing Lavender Brown to do things for him that she'd not even done. I can't believe how badly this hurts. When Lavender had taken to Ron, it hadn't hurt this much. As if on queue, Ron was at her side in an instant, looking worried. Even Ginny came closer, trying to see what was wrong.

"Something has happened," Harry stated the obvious.

At that moment, the painting opened, and Lavender ran in. "Hermione!" she said. "Wait. I need to talk to you." She tried to pull Hermione to the side, but Harry clutched his friend closely.

"What's wrong with Mione? You've done something to her?" he asked tightly.

"No, of course not. Well, yes, Hermione, listen. I need to explain," Lavender said. "In private!"

Hermione reached back and slapped the girl's face as hard as she could, wondering how Lavender could possibly dare to face her after what she'd been doing. She instantly regretted it when Lavender stumbled back, holding her face. The entire common room was silent now, watching the two girls, waiting for something to happen.

Lavender tried not to cry. "I deserved that. I know it. I'm sorry. He's waiting for you. Says you know where." With that said, she went to the stairs that led to her room. The only problem was that she had the room adjacent to Hermione's. There was no way Hermione would go up there now and risk running into the slag...the girl who had just had oral sex with her boyfriend.

"I'll kill him," Ron was saying. Ginny was trying to calm him down. "Knew he was playing with Hermione all the while, but she didn't see it. Pansy thought he loved her though, but I knew better." He hit a nearby wall. "Damn!" he yelped, holding his hand close.

"Enough, Ron!" Hermione said. "I can take care of myself. I just need time to think." She ran out of the common room as quickly as possible. She needed to sort out her feelings.

This was ridiculous. How could she have allowed herself to fall for him? All of the days she'd spent reminding herself that it wasn't real and that he would be gone one day were for nothing. She felt as if that one scene had destroyed her world. Harry had it pegged early on. Draco's charm had done it, lured me in. He is still just Malfoy beneath it all. No matter what he said or did, Draco was all an illusion. But he couldn't be. She knew him better than anyone else at this school.

It was obvious to her suddenly. He must have only done that with Lavender because of what she'd said to him right before... about her not being his true girlfriend and rebuffing his offer to owl each day. He had been hurt and angry. He'd warned her that he would go off to shag someone. Somehow deep down she hadn't really believed he would. Am I just reaching here? Should I go to him? She supposed that they could stage their breakup now. It was the only thing to do... especially since their friends had witnessed what happened between her and Lavender. It would not be long before they forced the truth out of one of them.

"Mione?" It was Harry. She fell into his arms and sobbed quietly once again. He soothed her as best as he could. When the tears stopped, he spoke again. "You love him?"

She shrugged. "I think I do. This really bothers me. I've gotten used to him just like you said I would. Underneath, I didn't really want to break things off, you know? It all seemed to be going all right, and part of me hoped I would have a real chance with him." He kissed her forehead in an attempt to make her feel better. "I mean... I knew I wouldn't really be good enough, but I'd hoped."

"Mione, I'm sorry that you're going through this. What happened? What did he say to you? What has Lavender got to do with it?" Harry asked.

"Well, he... he said he would owl me everyday over the holidays. I told him there was no need as I wasn't really his girlfriend. Then, he looked so... hurt. I apologized, and he blew up. Said he was going to go shag someone and took off. Then..." She shuddered. "Then I saw Lavender. Oh, Harry, she had her mouth on his... you know." She blushed.

Harry blushed, too. "How the hell did those two hook up? I know Lavender likes boys...a lot! We've seen that when she went after Ron, but I would never have thought she would be with Draco. They don't even talk. I've only ever seen him sneer at her when she'd go round him."

"I don't know. Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to go on with our breakup. Ron and Pansy are doing just fine now." She remembered them earlier, all smiles and affection. "In fact, I think they've moved on together."

"I've seen them talking a lot lately as well. I figured that out. Are you going to be all right? I have to go to my meeting with Dumbledore right now," he said, but he seemed reluctant to go.

"Go on. I'll just have a walk." She smiled.

"Don't you dare go outside in this blizzard, Hermione. Stay to the castle." She nodded and turned away, heading for the library. She would go escape this mess by pouring herself into a book. She realized, though, that Draco would be there. Lavender had said that he would be waiting for her.

It was their spot. There was no way she could go there. She wasn't ready to see him just yet. She wanted to make sure she could handle her feelings first. She knew that she could pretend to have reacted with such disappointment as part of their staged breakup. It would be easier for her if he didn't know how she really felt about him. He would feel no guilt or embarrassment, and he wouldn't taunt her in front of anyone. She was dressed warmly enough, so she decided to have a walk out to her spot by the lake anyway, blizzard or not. When she looked out, the snow had stopped, but it was extremely windy. She wanted to have a look at the moon's reflection in the frozen lake, not that she would truly see one, what with the snow covering it. Just thinking of such a peaceful scene would put her mind at ease.

She giggled to herself as she spied Hagrid through his window; he was dancing round in his hut and holding a large cup. Hermione was sure he had some sort of mead in it. The wind blew her hair wildly as it howled into the evening, causing her to wrap her arms around her body for warmth. She finally made her way to the little clump of bushes by the lake. She Transfigured a rock into a large, plush cushion to sit on. The night was beautiful. The lake was frozen and snowy, the full moon was shimmering against the dark sky, and a few snowflakes were tossing about in the breeze. Nature seemed to be at its worst, all things frozen and dying out. It matched her mood. Her heart felt as if it were dying as well. Hopefully, it would begin to mend again. Nature would soon mend all that she had done this winter by springing new life into everything. Would she have new life? Could she go back to just daydreaming again? Or would she always compare everyone to Draco? These thoughts replayed in her mind continuously until she simply felt numb.

The next thing Hermione knew, the moon had shifted in the sky and more snow was falling. Her body felt as if it were freezing solid. She felt as though blood no longer flowed in her veins, as if only ice was within her body. She'd stayed out too long. She fumbled for her wand. How silly of her. She hadn't been thinking clearly. She could have easily chanted a Warming Spell. Even through her mittens, her fingers seemed frozen. They would barely close around her wand. She muttered her spell and felt a warm glow surround her at once. Instead of making her feel better, it made her want to sleep. She curled into the cushion and gave in to the desire to sleep. She would wake before the spell wore off. Just a little nap wouldn't hurt anything.

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Draco was pacing back and forth in the infirmary. He had found Hermione half-covered in snow with a small trace of a Warming Spell still clinging to her cloak. How could she have been so silly as to go out in such weather? Alone at that! He had waited for her for an hour before going off to see if she was in her room. He'd knocked on her door and waited for her for a few minutes before going back down to the common room to ask if anyone had seen her. He'd noticed right away that nearly everyone was glowering at him. He'd wondered if she'd already blabbed to the whole lot about what had gone on. Finally, someone had decided to approach him...someone with red hair and an attitude. Ron had glared at him hatefully and had seemed to be deciding on attacking him or not. His nostrils flared just thinking of the boy's words.

"I should kill you for hurting her. I don't know what you did, but I hope she never forgives you. You don't deserve her."

"Of course not. Left right after she slapped Lavender. What did you do to her now?" Ron wasn't as loud as he was before, a worried look passed over his face. "Blimey! We've got to find her. She was upset." Ron quickly fled the common room, Draco on his heels, but when he saw the boy going towards the library, he stopped. He'd just come from there and had even gone to the Astronomy Tower. He had a feeling she was out by the lake.

Draco sighed and looked back towards the bed she was lying in. Madam Pomfrey had said that he'd gotten to her just in time. His heart had nearly stopped beating when he'd found her. When he'd rolled her over to see her face, she'd simply seemed to be sound asleep. However, her lips had turned blue, and she'd had ice in her hair. It was as if she'd been slowly freezing. Pulling off his cloak and wrapping it around her, he'd held her close and summoned strength he hadn't known he'd possessed, running all the way to the infirmary with her in his arms. Harry and Ron had seen him run by with her and followed. They were told to wait outside while she was examined. Draco didn't want to talk to them anyway. Weasley started ranting about how he would kill Draco if Hermione didn't get better quick.

Draco continued to ignore his yelling and didn't notice when Potter pulled him off for a word. Instead, he dropped to his knees in the corner and said a silent prayer for her. He normally didn't pray, but he would try anything to help Hermione. She didn't look good, and it made him feel doubly worse for doing what he had with Lavender. He promised that he'd never hurt her again if he could see her smile once more. He would take her place if that were allowed. Hell, he'd do anything to make her better. He thought back to the conversation he'd had with Dumbledore right after he'd brought Hermione in.

The headmaster spoke with Madam Pomfrey before venturing over to talk to Draco. "Hermione ventured out during a blizzard and ended up causing herself harm. That was quite careless of her," he said kindly. "Are you all right? You seem rather distraught."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "You will have that chance. I do believe you should tell her as soon as she wakes up." With that, he walked away, leaving Draco alone to think.

Draco felt someone's eyes on him, causing him to look up. Weasley was standing there with his hand extended. Draco looked at it until Ron retracted it.

"Be that way then, but know that I am just glad that you found her." Ron turned to go back to Harry, who was watching the exchange intently.

"Wait," Draco said. He extended his hand. Ron hesitated, but he took it in his anyway. "I never meant to hurt her." It was all he could say. He didn't have to explain anything to Weasley.

"I know," Ron said. "Come on, Harry. Pomfrey is giving us looks again; we have to go. We'll come back first thing in the morning."

To Draco's surprise, Pansy walked in. She went to Ron and hugged him. "Is she all right?" Ron nodded. Pansy looked to Draco. "You going to be all right, Draco?"

"Yes," he said through narrowed eyes. So... this was who she was in love with then? Weasley. He almost laughed. How could she have chosen the red-haired prat over a life of luxury with a Malfoy? It doesn't matter. She's not what you want, imbecile. Never truly was. He would be happy for her, and he was secretly glad that Ron had another interest besides his girlfriend. Girlfriend? It slipped out so easily. Their fake relationship felt so real at times. He always woke up thinking about her. He'd fall asleep thinking about her, and he'd even dream about her. She was his girl in nearly every way.

When they finally left, Draco took to pacing the floor again while waiting for her to wake up. He had so many thoughts roaming through his mind that he hadn't heard the little cough at first. Suddenly, he realized she was moving, and he went to her side quickly. "Hermione?" he whispered. Her eyes opened. She gave a faint smile. "Thank God," he said and hugged her to him.

"What happened?" she asked weakly.

"I almost lost you," he replied. "You nearly froze to death. I found you... just in time. Another minute or two, and, uh, it wouldn't have been good." He pushed back a stray lock of hair from her face and looked into her eyes. "I feel so horrible about everything, and all I could think of was that I should have told you that I love you. Please don't ever scare me that way again."

"I love you, too," she said, trailing off to sleep once more. He wondered if it was an automatic response, or if she'd truly understood what he'd told her and admitted her own feelings finally. Those words had been exchanged before, but they were said only for the benefit of others. It was likely that she didn't quite remember everything. She'd only been awake for a moment. If Pomfrey wouldn't be bustling about and caring for two other students, he felt that he might cry from the immense relief that filled him. She would be fine. He would make her understand that Lavender meant nothing to him. She was only away to avenge what he'd thought was rejection.

When he had been in that corridor with Lavender, he had been enjoying himself and thought that it was all a form of paying her back for hurting him, but when he'd seen her there with tears in her eyes and her hand trying to cover her horrified expression, he'd felt so ashamed and guilty. He'd pushed Lavender away and ran after her, but she had gone too far by the time he'd fastened his trousers. Forcing Lavender to go to Hermione hadn't been the brightest thing to do, but he'd been certain that Hermione would find him. He was angry when she hadn't. He'd had no idea that she was out in the dark near death. His only hope now was that she would forgive him. He would make things work.

"You should be getting back to your dormitory now, Mr. Malfoy. She'll likely not wake tonight," the matron said kindly.

"I'd like to stay if it's all the same."

Pursing her lips, she nodded brusquely and pulled the privacy curtains round the bed. Taking that as approval, he kicked off his boots and crawled in next to his Hermione, gently holding her. "I do love you, Hermione. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Southern's Notes:: Ah... the realization that you love someone is sometimes bittersweet. I hope that she'll forgive him. After all, they weren't truly dating, and he did warn her. (No excuse though, huh?)

Christy's Notes: Pride! It's one of the seven deadliest! If they had both swallowed their pride and admitted things... Ah well. We all know they are both too stubborn for that! I hope she forgives him, too!