Chapter 18

Chapter 18 - Epilogue

Eugene received his Hogwarts letter just as Severus and Hermione had promised. He also had become their son in the eyes of the magical world. Eugene reckoned he had no real use for the Muggle world. It had not given him any favors, except his new parents. He took the name of Eugene Severus Snape, and after Severus and Hermione had taken him to King's Cross, Hermione was ready to have the baby any day now.

"Mum," he said as Hermione brushed his hair with her fingers and slid her hands to brush out imaginary wrinkles from his crisp, new robes. "Why can't I just wait until the baby comes? I don't want to miss out," he whined.

"Eugene," Severus replied. "Either way, you would not be allowed to be a part of the process. Only husbands or adult friends of the family are allowed."

Hermione smiled at her son and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll be brilliant. And I swear I will have the headmistress collect you as soon as the baby arrives."

Eugene placed his hand on his mum's belly and whispered, "Hey, you. Don't forget you have a big brother! I'll take care of you. If you're a boy, I'll teach you wicked hexes Dad probably won't let you know about, but I'll know them because Uncle Harry's already taught me a couple! If you're a girl, I'll take care of you. Any bloke that's mean to you, just tell me, and I'll jinx him for you."

He threw his arms around his dad, and Severus squeezed him tightly. "Owl us as soon as you can. I want to know which house you're sorted."

They waved him off as the train left. Hermione turned her face into Severus' robes as she began to cry.

"I have to give him up, and we just got him," she said through her muffled cries.

Severus wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "We actually had him longer; it just hurts that he just now got to take on the family name."

Hermione nodded as she wiped her nose with her husband's proffered handkerchief.

Sunday came, and the Snapes were walking home from morning mass at the old Catholic church Hermione had been attending since she had first come to Grasmere.

Neither of them was in a good mood. First, Severus had nearly suffered a fit when Eugene owled them, letting them know he was in Gryffindor, and Hagrid was now his head of house. He had gone on for an hour-long diatribe about how Hogwarts was scraping the bottom of the barrel to have Hagrid as head of Eugene's house. He very nearly left to retrieve the boy and take him out of Hogwarts, for fear of his life, but Hermione said that it had only been a temporary position for the semester and that McGonagall was going to be on the lookout for a more proper head of house.

Secondly, Hermione was in a foul mood because it was still bloody intemperate and was not happy Severus was forcing her to walk about all the effing time! Then, there was the fact of his grousing and disrespect for Hermione's religious beliefs.

"If you think that bag of wank they sell you every week about God and Jesus is true, I believe you need to be taken to St. Mungo's to see if you are delusional," he spat.

Hermione had largely ignored his skepticism and his ranting because there was obviously something that was urging him to go with her each week. She rose up on Sunday and went to Mass, never once asking Severus to join her. Nevertheless, he came, and they never spoke about what he felt about religion or if he even believed in God.

But the ranting had started to wear on Hermione's nerves. When Eugene had still been with them, eager to get out of his Sunday clothes (as Hermione started ordering him to wear more decent attire for the sake of respect), he'd always dashed ahead and never heard Severus ravings.

Today, Hermione decided she'd had enough.

She stopped walking and said, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you? Why even go with me if you hate it so much. I have never asked you or forced you to join Eugene, or me, yet you stubbornly insist on going! Why?"

Severus looked around and saw they were alone. He Apparated them to Garden Cottage and led her inside. Hermione slipped off her shoes and sank into one of the dining chairs. She was nauseous, exhausted, and more than ready for this baby to be born.

Severus brought her some lemonade and took his handkerchief to dab up the sweat that had collected on Hermione's forehead and neckline. As he focused on his task, he said, "I hate that you have something that is so apart from me. I want to be a part of what you care about."

Hermione frowned. "If that were true, Severus Snape, you would then respect my feelings and stop acting so meanly about religion. I happen to find it rather comforting in having faith in a God that cares about me. It's important to me!"

Severus sat next to her, slumping down into the chair. "After everything we've been through, I still feel an emptiness, a vast hole inside me that refuses to be filled. I hate that it exists. And most of all, I resent some idea that a God can take that away," he whispered.

"What can take it away?" Hermione asked as she reached for his hand.

"I don't know," he whispered softly, his head bent low, hiding his face from hers.

Hermione got up. "Severus, take my hand."

"What?" he said as he looked at her.

Hermione held out her hand. "Just have faith, Severus," she said as she smiled.

She led him outside where she Apparated them to Godric's Hollow. Severus was incensed. "How dare you take such a chance on Apparating that far in your condition!" he roared.

"Severus," she replied as she led him by the arm into the nearby cemetery, "I didn't know if you knew where we were going."

She led him slowly towards James and Lily's grave site. Severus saw it ahead and shook his head. "No. I will not see this. I am resolute, Hermione," he warned her.

"What are you afraid of, Severus?" she asked him. "What frightens you so?"

"The finality of it all. I hate death. I used to wrap myself in it like a warm blanket. Now it is repulsive and... sad," he said lowly.

"There in lies the promise, Severus. Come and see," she implored him.

She led him to the grave, and Severus looked down at the tombstone that bore the names of James and Lily.

Hermione wrapped her arm tightly around Severus'. "I was here with Harry when we were on the run. He had never once seen his parents' graves. He was confused by the inscription."

Severus peered closer and read aloud, "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."

He snorted.

Hermione looked at him. He looked away into the distance, refusing to meet her eyes. "So fucking trite," he spat.

Hermione drew from her pocket a small bible. She turned the pages to a passage, and Severus turned his eyes sharply to her.

"Here," Hermione said. "Read."

Severus took it and read the verse Hermione pointed to. "Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.

"Though he were dead..." he mused.

"... yet shall she live," Hermione finished.

Severus looked at Hermione and saw her bright brown eyes awash in tears.

"Death, where is thy sting?" she whispered softly.

"I don't know if I can believe this... won't it be as if I were going back into my delusion?" he asked coolly.

"No," Hermione replied. "It's hope. The hope that one day you will see her after this life has ended. There is still a chance for wrongs to be made right. Just that hope lives is life-giving!"

She looked at him pensively for any reaction.

"Hope," he repeated as his eyes drifted towards hers. "Hope is good."

"Hope is everything for people like us," she whispered. "We've lost again and again. We know we have nothing more to lose than we haven't lost already. We've been alone and frightened. Unloved, unwanted, unheard... we've lived through it. So, what can be wrong with a little hope?"

Severus wrapped his arms around his wife. "I love you," he said as he bent to kiss her chastely on the lips.

"Let's go home," she said.

"I'll Apparate, if you don't mind," he sneered.

Two days later, Hope Anastasia Snape was born. Hermione couldn't believe how fair she was.

"I was positive she would have come out with black hair and black eyes!" she declared.

Severus was smiling broadly in the privacy of their room. He took his daughter and held her to him.

"Little lovely," he murmured. "She will look just like her mother." He gently stroked the soft skin of her face and drank in the sight of her curly honey-brown hair and blue eyes.

"Those eyes will change," she whispered. "Look how dark they are. They'll be brown."

Eugene took his turn to hold his sister. "Why 'Hope'?" he asked his parents.

Hermione laid a tired hand on Severus' arm as she looked lovingly at him. "It was your father's idea," she whispered. "Hope, meaning, obviously, hope, and Anastasia was the name of a saint. It means, 'to rise again.'"

Hope started to cry, and Hermione sat up to feed her. Eugene excused himself to get a drink from the cafeteria.

"It's impossible not to believe in second chances when I look at her," Severus whispered as he watched his wife feed their daughter.

"It's good not having to worry about what others might say or think, isn't it?" Hermione asked.

"Mmm," he replied. "I never thought I would escape from the hell inside my head or rid myself of the need to be accepted and forgiven. Now I have been. Three times over." He looked into Hermione's face and kissed her lips tenderly, delicately savoring her bottom lip for a moment as he released her.

"Three times?" she whispered.

"First came Eugene, then you, and now our daughter. I've been more than forgiven. I've been blessed."

~The End~