That was a mighty impressive feat! I don't think I could have done it without commas. I get in so much trouble at work because my boss hates my wordy writing style. I hate the condescending, child reading level handouts they make for my medical patients who are apparently too ignorant to be given the respect to decide what they need to know or not about their condition because they are not a medical professional, and "No one reads handouts anyway!" Not those lame ones for sure. The story was also quite lemony good, as well.  Oooooh how they hate the "as wells"! 

This was very very lovely, and hot :)

Also, lol @ Lucius giving up on the hooker as soon as he realized there might be effort involved.

Very nice, but it left me wanting a bit more background on how things came to be between Severus and Narcissa.  I guess that's for the next installment!

Very erotic. Rather intriguing, indeed. I can certainly see Lucius enjoying the sight - of both of them. And I certainly hope to read more about the three of them..

scintillating

Fun read!  Lucius enjoyed watching them so much, I'm sure he'll want a nearer vantage point next time:)

Quite an image. Thanks :D  I wonder if voyeurism will evolve into active participation.... not at all a hint in any way shape or form that you should write something following on from this and along that theme :D

That was definitly hot! I enjoyed reading it very much!

Ooh, what a twist. I was actually looking forward to a confrontation, but voyeurism! That's hot, too! Now that we've had Narcissa's and Lucius's perspective, can we look forward to Severus's?

Now that is an interesting reaction! Not rage, not apathy, but....arousal. How unexpected. Hmmm...we shall see how this develops.

Only just saw this new category! I've read the counterpart of this, too. Nice! Great solution to a boring sexlife. But by whom exactly is Lucius turned on here: his wife, or Severus?? Or both?

At first I thought it was Severus too, heh.  I had to go back, and then I saw all the little things that made it decisively Lucious from the beginning.  That was cool.  A very interesting look into his mind.Should I feel corrupted, cuz I feel almost naughty for enjoying this, lol.Cheers,Stef =o)

So Lucius... so so Lucius

The lack of commas doesn't take away, though it certainly doesn't read as "NSS's" style.

Forget that, though. There was a lot to love in this piece -- the details of the whore's ill-fitting clothes and the bar of soap stuck to the sink, Lucius being asked to leave a restaurant, and most of all, his tone while describing all of this -- it's so, "I had a terrible day, and this is what happened," over cognac, except that it's about a disappointing sexual experience with a prostitute. !!!

And they were doing it on ol' Lucius' desk, eh? That made me snicker.

This was great, surprising in the details, actually, and the overall tone.

Author's Response: Thank you.

Yup, you take away my commas, and the prose just won't flow like it usually does.  But from all the little things you mentioned, I think I made up for it a little. :)

I am amazed at this delicious little story you created without the use of a single comma, dear.  It is the perfect accompaniment to A Wife's Needs.  Lucius' kinky side is always fun to read!  Well done!!!Beth

My, my, my, naughty Lucius. And don't even get me started on how naughty you are. Gee, i love you! ;-)Have a very, very nice weekend./M

I liked how you set up the story. I was surprised when the narrating character said Severus was fucking his wife. Like what? That wasn't Severus before? And I'm amazed that you guys wrote these great little one-shots with no commas! That takes some skill…

not only erotic, but provides an interesting glimpse into lucius's psyche - all with no commas! i'm impressed.

i think there's a little error: "The manager at the restaurant he was supposed to meet the rather expensive prostitute had asked ..." i think you are missing a "where," maybe?

*chuckles* Oh, you had me going there for a minute! I thought the narration was Severus, but you twisted it and made it Lucius! And what a delicious twist it was!I commend you for accomplishing this comma-less ficlet. I can't imagine writing without commas, as they are so handy. But not only did you manage it, but you did it very well.

Oh my  my naughty Lucius enjoyed the show. What will to do with this next?

Sounds like a win-win-win situation.  Welcome to the crazy challenges committee! :)

Kinky! I, of course, approve.

I understand better what you meant. Lucius the Voyeur. I think it fits his personality rather well.

Hot and sexy, thank you!

Wow! That was so hot.

I am actually a Lucius/Narcissa shipper and in my head they have always been faithful to each other, but on occassion for their sex games, something like this scenario would happen.

So hot!