Chapter 9

Hermione barely spoke to Severus over the next few days. She was hurt by his complete change in attitude towards her. He had initiated the kiss, and he had been the one to speak those sweet words to her. The child in her wanted to yell at him, "You started it," but she held back and tried to go on with daily activities. She didn't know where she stood anymore. She had hoped that maybe he would want her around for longer than just her pregnancy. She had hoped that maybe he was feeling paternal towards her baby. The longer the silence, the less she had hope.

She was attentive to caring for Draco and was with him when he stood up and walked around the room for the first time since his injuries. He was recovering quickly, thanks to their constant care and his determination. He was still a stubborn prat, even though he didn't hate her anymore.

"Can I go outside?" Draco asked one morning as Hermione helped him put his shirt on.

"If you are up to it, sure. You'll have to walk down the stairs though."

"If I go slowly, I should be able to do it. Will you walk with me?"

"Of course. Let's get your shoes on." Hermione kneeled in front of Draco to slip his shoes on and tie them. She knew he couldn't bend very easily, and if truth be told, she was getting to that point herself.

"Thank you," Draco said with a soft smile. "You've been kinder to me than you should."

"You're right. You made my life miserable for several years." She looked up at his face and smiled. "I think we are past all of that, Draco. You stood up to the Dark Lord, and I know how difficult it must have been." She struggled to get back to her feet. "I think you might be tying my shoes before too long anyway. We'll be even." She laughed.

Carefully and slowly, the pair made their way down the stairs, and Draco got his first look at Severus' home. He still didn't know he was in Spinner's End. He had visited Snape's home before, but it didn't look like this. Severus was letting him assume he was in a different part of England at a second home. She led him toward the study and out into the gardens.

"Do you want to walk or sit?" She could tell by his face that he was already tired from that short walk down the stairs.

"Let's walk for a little, and then I'll sit before I try to get back up those stairs." Hermione nodded and linked her arm through his to give him more support. She guided him around the path, pointing out her favorite features of the beautiful grounds.

Severus watched them from inside the library. He had been skimming a book when he happened to look out the window to see them walking arm in arm. He was hit by a slap of jealousy that almost made him lose his balance. It was only when they passed closer that he realized she was holding him up and that there wasn't any intimacy between them. They were still struggling to become friends. He watched her guide him back toward the shaded patio and settle him into a chair. It was clear that Draco was worn out, but the fresh air was probably good for him. When Hermione sunk into a chair across from Draco, Severus realized that she too was exhausted. She grew bigger every day, and he knew it was taking a toll on her small body.

He put down his book and headed for the kitchen, asking Mosey to bring cold drinks outside. As he walked out the door, he was shocked at the look of anger that came his way from Hermione. He knew he had behaved badly, but he wasn't expecting her reaction.

"Hello. Draco, it's good to see you up and around."

"Thank you, Uncle Sev. I'm feeling better. Thanks to the both of you and your good care, I'm going to be back to normal in no time." Draco took the glass offered to him by the small house-elf and took a sip. "What are you working on? I saw you through the window, and you looked deep in thought."

"Actually, I was reading a bit on a few herbs that I haven't worked with before. I'm working on a few experimental potions this summer, and I'm using some new ingredients. For me at least."

"Maybe you could allow me to help sometime. I'm not bad at potions. I had a good teacher," he said.

"Maybe you could. I'll gather some books for you to look over. When you are strong enough, you can join me in the lab. I would have loved to have Hermione join me, as she is quite adept at potion-making, but I can't risk her pregnancy should something go wrong." He purposely looked at Hermione, who glared back.

"Well, I've been busy with my own research, anyway. I don't know that we'd work very well together," she said coldly, sipping her drink. She wanted desperately to slip inside and get away from the man, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction either.

"I think we'd work beautifully together. Eventually we will; I have no doubt. Just not now," Severus said as he continued to stare in her eyes. "It's not the right time."

Draco looked between his godfather and Hermione with an amused expression. He could see that whatever attraction they had had initially was still there; they were just fighting it. He wasn't sure why, as they had already created a child, but he knew that for some reason, they were holding back. He never thought he'd be seeing sparks of a romantic nature flying between Severus and anyone, especially not Granger. With a smile, he broke into their staring contest. "Sev, I'm worn out; would you help me back upstairs? Granger was kind enough to help me down, but going up might be more of a challenge."

"Of course. Hermione, I would like to talk to you a bit more. Would you mind waiting?"

"Sure." She turned her face out toward the garden. She knew his meaning when he said that eventually they'd work beautifully together. She once again let a bit of hope bloom in her heart. She sat quietly while she waited for him to come back and thought back on her history with her former professor. Her first encounter with him had been her first day of Potions. She was eleven years old, almost twelve, and thought she knew everything, even though she'd only known she was a witch for a few short months. He had been terrifying, dark, and mysterious. It had only gotten worse as she had become friends with Harry and Ron. She had now been one of "them," and no matter how smart she was or how good at Potions, she had been associated with his least favorite students.

Harry hadn't helped matters any. He had continuously accused Snape of all manner of foul deeds. Hermione herself had set the man's robes on fire when she thought he was cursing Harry's broom. She'd become less afraid of him as time went on, and they'd managed to show some mutual respect in the classroom.

It had been only this past year, after they had forgiven him for killing Dumbledore, that she saw him in a different light. He was flawed and very human to her. When he had agreed to this act they were playing, she had admired him more than ever, and now, after spending the last month in his home, she considered him a friend.

She wasn't sure when she had started to feel more for him than friendship. It might not have been until he kissed her the first time. She wasn't ready to admit that she was in love with the man, but it wouldn't be too far of a stretch. Hermione turned her head towards the doorway when she heard him approach. He sat in the chair directly across from her and stared at her once again.

"You wanted to talk to me?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes," he said as he looked down at the ground. "Your feet are swollen."

"What?" Hermione wasn't expecting that. She looked down, and sure enough, her ankles were swollen. "Another of the wonderful symptoms of being pregnant."

"You should elevate them," he told her. He scooted his chair closer to hers and leaned over to pick up her feet. Laying her legs across his knees, he removed her shoes and began to massage her ankles.

"Oh!" Hermione was surprised by his actions. "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. I can go inside and prop them up on a pillow."

Severus ignored her and continued to rub softly. "I'm sorry I walked out on you the other day."

"I suppose you had a good and noble reason."

"Something like that," he chuckled. "I was scared, Hermione."

"Of what? I'm not going to hurt you."

"Not physically, no, but emotionally, maybe." He saw her confused expression and continued, "I've had a lot of people leave me. People I care about leave. My sister, my father, my mother, Lily, Albus. They are all dead. The only people I truly care about in this world that are still alive are you, Draco, and Minerva."

"So you think that if you allow yourself to feel something more than friendship towards me, I'll die?"

"Well your life is in danger, isn't it? Look at what Voldemort did to Draco! You are a target. You heard what Draco said. I think I can protect you better if you keep your distance."

"You just keep lying to yourself, Severus. You can't turn off emotions, as you well know. I could die just as easily if you hated me than if you loved me. The reason I am pregnant is because I thought I was going to die. I didn't care about the consequences; I just wanted to feel loved for one night. One night of love is more than some people ever get. You are a fool if you are going to give it up."

"What do you want from me?" Severus tried to control his voice.

"I want you to be honest about how you feel about me, and I want you to act on those feelings. I want to know what you envision for our future, assuming we have one. I want to at least be able to share a meal with you like we did. If we can't move forward, let's at least stay friends. I don't want to go back to fearing you."

"I don't know how I feel right now. As for the future, I just want to keep you alive. That's all I can think about right now."

"Can you be my friend?"

"Yes." He leaned forward and grabbed her hands. "I will be your friend. As for more, let's just get through the next few months."

"I'll take what I can get, Severus." She pulled her hands from his and lifted her feet off of his lap. "I'm tired; I'm going to rest before dinner." She leaned down and kissed the top of his head before walking inside. Her heart was heavy, but still that little hope hung on.