Under the circumstances I think Severus would have been within his rights,  to have kicked her arse out of bed.

bahaha, i love stories that turn tropes on their head.  people who reviewed negatively are dumb.  this is brilliant!

Ok, bossy woman or no, there is no way the Snape I believe in would take this "lying down".

Oh I think the next time he'd "rise" to the occassion - either with help or not. His Slytherin self would demand it!

I do like the reviewers suggestion that Hermione "wakes up" and now she has to seduce an uninterested Severus. (using a gag on her was also a good one).

Goodness, I just read the other reviews, and frankly, I'm astonished at some of them. Clearly, a portion of the fanfic reading populating comes straight out of the romance novel reading set, and anything that doesn't end in an engagement, multiple orgasms, society wedding and pregnancy is aesthetically disgusting. Good job on dumbing down your audience, Romance Cartel ;-)

On a side note, I adore how people think rape and consensual BDSM stories--even those where a super bossy 'Master' figure gets off on abandoning the woman right at the verge of climax--are 'hot', but once the genders are interchanged the same narrative becomes 'irrational'. The cuteness of our wonky gender perceptions, awww!

Finally, pay no attention frankly, I don't think you do) to patronising people who tell you you've "at least" got your English right. Some people, unfortuantely, still think an admission of living in Denmark means your English is automatically suspect. Sigh. You're very far from a mediocre writer, you've got a brill out-of-the-box imagination, and more power to fanfic writers like you ('cause I love reading stuff like that and there isn't enough around).

What an incredibly brilliant(ly written) story! I usually never comment, although over the last three years I've probably read every HP fanfic in existence, but this one was so sardonically different it compelled me to express my admiration. Very well done, Moreteadk!

Rimi

LOL, i loved this!! it was funny in a good way, poor Severus.awwwww hope he gets his erection back..lol

If it weren't for the fact that this story shows as completed, I'd be tempted to give you a higher rating, since maybe another chapter could salvage this mess. As it stands, however, this was an unpleasant, unhappy pointless waste of my time. The only positive thing that I CAN say is that you do have a good grasp of English and proper writing. Work on your plot and especially on your characterizations and I suspect that you'll get much more positive reviews. Cat

Good grief, man, tie her up! Gag her!

LOL

I think they would have more luck if Severus introduced Hermione to a gag lol.

This begs for the fireworks and ecstasy, you know. Without a sequel, this story is terribly sad and downright irrational. While there doubtlessly are people stupid enough to consider trash a fact, I don't see Hermione as one of them. She might be a person who would occasionally read a trashy novel, but foremost, she would research the mechanics. 

LOL - finally got a chance to come check this out.

Bossy Hermione came out loud and clear in this one. :) I do feel sorry for Sev though. I don't remember fireworks, but I don't remember being bored that first time either. Hopefully she's not frigid and they eventually have a long and happy (sex) life together. :)

Okay, you have to do another chapter because I was waiting for the moment for Snape to tell her to shut up and proceed to nail her into the matress or at least kick her ass out of bed for being such a whiny bitch! Bossy Hermione at the extreme. PLease, please another chapter? *big puppy eyes*
Livvy

Poor Snape.  I hope he finds someone else who might appreciate him a bit more.

Oh goodness. Poor Severus... poor Hermione...

I think you could do a follow up chapter.... one where Hermione discovers her libido and Severus doesn't give in immediately...making her wait will make her want him, right? Hunger is Good Sauce!

Oh, this was so very painful, but a lovely contrast to the usual blissful consummation with multiple orgasms.

Poor Severus. Awkward unsuccessful sex happens even with the most practiced of couples.... but what a rough first time.

Thanks for sharing this... perhaps there will be a second chapter in which Severus buys her an appropriate text and happiness ensues?

LOL. Poor Sev. *shakes head* really she could make an effort. After all, all good things take a while.

What a rag Hermione is in this - she got what she deserved.
But poor Severus, He didn't deserve such harsh treatment. He sould burn her romance books!

Dear god, a cynical Hermione and a lackluster Snape? Eeek! For the love of God, introduce her to whatever he was planning- bdsm? Something! Yikes!

*snerk* Hilarious and completely original. Poor Severus!

Wow. I never thought I'd read a story where I felt bad for Severus bacause of all Hermione's bullying. Very well written, and certainly unique.

Poor Severus! I cannot imagine anyone responding to the first time in such a manner.

Athough most first time encounters may not be as filled with ecstacy as is written in fanfiction, I can't imagine any lover being as callous and unloving as the Hermione depicted this story.  Wouldn't a lover keep such disappointment to herself?

Hi!

That was really funny! *lol*
Yes, Hermione was honest - but it was a brutal honesty, wasn't it? ^^
Did you think about a sequel? I'd like to read about their second attempt...

Poetica 

Oh my!  I don't know whether to say poor Severus or poor Hermione.

Wow poor Snape to have such a thing go to waste....