Chapter 11 – Severus Screws It Up

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

Thanks a lot to my beta-readers, saiyanwizardgurl and AmyLouise, for correcting my mistakes!

Chapter 11 - Severus Screws It Up

Only a few minutes had gone by when Minerva arrived. Poppy opened the curtains before she left for her office. Minerva was balancing a stack of books and magazines in her arms. "Merlin, what did you do to Irma that made her load me with this bunch when I asked her for something for you to read in the hospital?" She placed the pile unceremoniously on the bed and sighed in relief.

"Maybe she wants me to stay here for a month," Severus answered grouchily while he scowled at the pile of books and magazines on his bed.

His surly stare was interrupted by Minerva placing a quick kiss on his lips. "So how do you feel?" She sat on the bed and looked hopefully at Severus.

He tried to recover from the shock he got from her kiss. He could not believe that she really wanted him. I would have pretended that nothing happened, to give her the opportunity to back out of it. But she is acting as if she really wants me and that she is happy about what happened, Severus mused.

"Are you still with me, Severus?" she asked, amused when she did not get an answer.

Severus shook his head to clear it and stopped gaping at Minerva. "I'm fine."

Minerva's hand reached for his forehead to feel his temperature, but he jerked his head away. "Minerva," he said, annoyed. "You are not my nurse. And if you have to know, Albus says my temperature is already going down."

"Oh, so Albus is your nurse and is allowed to feel your forehead?" she said, grinning.

"Very funny, Minerva!" he said and rolled his eyes.

"It's good that you feel better. Christmas is in four days, and I hope Poppy will let you attend the Christmas feast in the Great Hall," Minerva explained.

Damn, I totally forgot about Christmas. I don't have anything for Minerva and Poppy. He only had a present for Albus. It was the ugliest pair of socks he could find in Hogsmeade. It was a running joke between him and Albus – during his first Christmas at Hogwarts as a teacher, Albus had given him a pair of green woollen socks with a pattern of red snakes that could slither across the fabric. From that year on, Severus made a point of giving Albus a pair of the ugliest socks he could find each Christmas.

Every year it was the same. Albus would make a big fuss about the gift and say how very much he liked it. And then, he would put them on immediately in front of the whole Hogwarts staff. "I hope you still enjoy your pair of Slytherin socks, Severus. Do they keep your feet warm in your cold dungeons?" Albus would ask mockingly.

Severus would then raise one of his eyebrow and reply, "Do you really want an answer to that, old man?"

"Of course I want an answer," Albus would reply cheekily.

"But you won't get one." Then Severus would stand up and leave the Christmas feast.

Later, when he was ready to go to bed in the cold dungeons, he would fish deep in his sock drawer for the green woollen socks. He would put them on, look at them closely, and say, "Happy Christmas, Albus." They kept his feet warm over the night. The next morning, he would cast a cleaning spell on them and place them as far back in the drawer as possible. "Until next Christmas."

He was deep in thought, reflecting on the previous Christmas, as Minerva arranged the pile of books on his bed. Coming out of his reverie, he watched Minerva silently. What would she like for Christmas? Will she be disappointed that I don't have something for her? Oh, Merlin, what if she has something for me? How embarrassing would it be if she gave me a present, and I don't have one for her!

"Everything okay, Severus? You seem to be lost in your thoughts," Minerva said, worried. The books and magazines were now nicely arranged in little stacks at the end of the bed.

"No, no. Everything is fine," Severus said, pushing away his thoughts. "Have you spoken with Mr. Weasley yet?" he asked Minerva.

"Yes, I met him while he was moving into the Astronomy Tower. He didn't want to live in the dungeons."

"Thank Merlin for that. A Gryffindor in the dungeons would be unbearable," Severus said theatrically.

"I can't blame him. It's cold and dark down there. I've never understood why you like it so much."

"Maybe because I'm also cold and dark," Severus said cynically.

"Don't be stupid, Severus. You are not cold and dark. Charlie wanted to visit you, but we told him he should wait until tomorrow. He'll be coming after breakfast."

Satisfied with her arrangement of the books and magazines, she now gave her full attention to Severus. When she took his hand in hers, he was startled.

He sighed, hoping that this would give him more strength to say what he wanted to, now. "Maybe we should talk about this, Minerva." He lifted the hand that she was holding.

Minerva was confused by Severus' sad face. "What do you mean? What is there to talk about?"

"Minerva, you cannot really want this. What do I have to offer you? We should end this before it goes too far. If it's just out of pity, then..." He could not even finish his sentence because Minerva jerked her hand out of Severus' grasp.

"End it before it goes too far? Pity? " She stood up from the bed and looked at Severus in shock. "How can you say things like that, Severus?" Tears were running down her cheeks.

That was not the reaction he had expected, and he immediately regretted his words. But it was too late; he could see it in her eyes. "Minerva, I –"

"No, Severus, I don't want to talk with you right now. I'm tired and much too hurt, and I fear I will say something I would regret later. It's better if I leave now."

"No, Minerva, please, I'm sorry!" he shouted desperately after Minerva, who was already leaving the hospital wing.

"Damn! You are such an idiot! Why do you always have to screw things up?" he growled angrily to himself, hitting the back of his head on the headboard and punching his fists into the mattress.

Poppy, alarmed by the noises, entered the hospital wing the moment Minerva stormed out of it. She immediately made her way to Severus' bed and heard him cursing and shouting at himself. When she saw him hitting his head and pulling violently at his hair, she quickened her pace to reach him faster.

"Stop, Severus!" She lowered the headboard and restrained his hands. When he became aware of Poppy's presence, he stopped and looked at her. "Severus, whatever happened right now, you have to calm down. The potions accelerate your heartbeat when you are under stress. Please breathe slowly."

Severus screwed up his eyes desperately. She will never speak to me again. Nothing ever works in my life like it should. Why can't I just be normal? He felt the familiar tingle of a diagnostic spell being placed on him.

Poppy sighed over the results of the diagnostic spell. Severus' heartbeat was much too high, and he seemed to have worked himself into a depression. She placed her right hand on his chest and let calming, healing magic flow into him. "Calm down," she said softly. "Look at me, Severus," she ordered in a gentle but firm voice, and he responded immediately. Satisfied by his reaction, she smiled at him, never stopping the warm flow of magic into his chest. "Whatever happened, Severus, you can handle it. You are not alone, and we can help you with whatever problem you have with Minerva. And I'm sure Minerva will come back when she has cooled off, and you can both discuss everything calmly."

Poppy's gentle voice and the ongoing flow of warm and calming magic made Severus feel drowsy.

Satisfied to see his eyes becoming heavy and his heartbeat slowing down, she eased the magic flow. "That's my boy."

"I screwed up. She will never speak to me again," he said in a hoarse voice.

Poppy increased the flow for a moment. "Not now, Severus. We can talk about it tomorrow. You have to rest and sleep first." She placed a hand on his forehead and whispered a sleeping spell.

Severus' already heavy eyelids closed completely, and his whole body fell limp. Another diagnostic spell, and Poppy tucked Severus in. I have to speak with Minerva about what just happened. She made her way to the fireplace to call for help.

Only a minute later, Alastor was standing in the infirmary. "What's up, Poppy?" he asked, worried.

"I don't know. I came in when Minerva was storming out of the wing, and Severus was cursing and trying to hurt himself. I calmed him down and placed a sleeping spell on him, but he was very agitated. I really want to speak with Minerva and find out what happened before Severus wakes again."

"Maybe it's something personal between the two, Poppy," Alastor suggested.

"Don't try to stop me from speaking to her. She is my best friend, and Severus is my patient. You should have seen him," Poppy hissed angrily.

"Yes, he is your patient, Poppy, but he's not your son. I won't stop you from speaking with Minerva, but you should speak with her like a friend, not a furious mother. Whatever problem the two have, they have to work it out themselves. If you need to know what the problem is in order to figure out the right medical treatment for him when he wakes up, then you should speak with her. Otherwise, you should let them work it out alone, Poppy," he said sternly. It was very seldom that he spoke to Poppy like this. Normally, she was the voice of reason, and he was on the receiving end of a scolding. But he knew how Poppy might react when it came to Severus' well-being and that she sometimes crossed the border of professionalism when it came to him.

Poppy calmed herself down. "I know you're right. But I have to speak with Minerva. As a friend. I'll remember that." She shyly smiled at him in hope that he would become his cheerful and friendly self again. It worked, and he embraced her and kissed her forehead.

"I'll stay and watch him," Alastor said as Poppy let go of him.

"Call me if he wakes up, but he should sleep until tomorrow." She gave him a short kiss and left to meet Minerva.