Damned House-Elves!
braye2768 Reviews | 6.49/10 (68 Ratings, 0 Likes, 28 Favorites )
Severus Snape finds himself drawn to the new Charms Mistress. Unfortunately, he also finds himself repulsed by certain circumstances not under his control. What do Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, and house-elves have to do with Friday nights at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
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About braye27
Author
braye27
Member Since 2008 | 1 Story | Favorited by 11 | 4,232 Reviews Written | 396 Review Responses
Big fan of Alan Rickman, the SSHG ship, and Harry Potter.
I love fanfic, LiveJournal, and TPP!!!
Reviews for Damned House-Elves!
This is absolutely hilarious! Thank you for the laughs
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I had so much fun writing this story, and it always tickles me when someone else laughs, too.Hugs, Beth
I love Winky, and House Elfs in general. Thank you for the best laugh I've had in ages. 
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
I love Winky, too! I'm so happy that you laughed. That's what I was shooting for, so I get all giggly when someone lets me know I hit my mark. 
Beth
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
I love Winky, too! I'm so happy that you laughed. That's what I was shooting for, so I get all giggly when someone lets me know I hit my mark. Beth
HAHAHA!!!! One thing I noticed though, Severus says " I can think of nothing nor no one" Nor no one is a double negative. Might read better if it was "I can think of nothing, nor anyone, save you". OR " I can think of nothing or anyone else but you" Other than that really funny and a topic that we have all experienced at one time or another!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you for reading my little story and for writing a reveiw. I had such a good time spinning this lover's tale. I'm very happy it made you laugh- that was what I was hoping for.As for the double negative... it's been a while since I wrote this, but if memory serves, I think I may have been trying to channel Shapespeare. Not very successfully. *grins*Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. Thanks again for letting me know you laughed at my attempt at humor.Beth
Response from deedeebug95 (Reviewer)
Well who am I to argue with Bill,eh? Funny stuff!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
I can't tell you how much it means when someone lets me know they enjoyed this story. It's the only one I've ever posted, and the reason I started writing it was that several of us had been working seven days a week for six to eight weeks... and I was so exhausted, and my brain was so tired and fuzzy, that I knew if I didn't do something that didn't have anything to do with technical stuff I would scream.I laughed my arse off the whole time I was writing it, and I think it was the best "mental health program" I could ever have had.Thanks again!!!
Response from deedeebug95 (Reviewer)
Well I hope to see more from you!!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you for reading my little story and for writing a reveiw. I had such a good time spinning this lover's tale. I'm very happy it made you laugh- that was what I was hoping for.As for the double negative... it's been a while since I wrote this, but if memory serves, I think I may have been trying to channel Shapespeare. Not very successfully. *grins*Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. Thanks again for letting me know you laughed at my attempt at humor.Beth
Response from deedeebug95 (Reviewer)
Well who am I to argue with Bill,eh? Funny stuff!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
I can't tell you how much it means when someone lets me know they enjoyed this story. It's the only one I've ever posted, and the reason I started writing it was that several of us had been working seven days a week for six to eight weeks... and I was so exhausted, and my brain was so tired and fuzzy, that I knew if I didn't do something that didn't have anything to do with technical stuff I would scream.I laughed my arse off the whole time I was writing it, and I think it was the best "mental health program" I could ever have had.Thanks again!!!
HAHAHA!!!! One thing I noticed though, Severus says " I can think of nothing nor no one" Nor no one is a double negative. Might read better if it was "I can think of nothing, nor anyone, save you". OR " I can think of nothing or anyone else but you" Other than that really funny and a topic that we have all experienced at one time or another!!!
I can't believe I've never read this. This is possibly the funniest thing ever!!! I loved it!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thanks! I have to say I laughed my arse off while I was writing it. I was very tired and in such a whacky mood at the time, and the words just came tumbling out. But the first draft looked very different. Thank goodness for Lariope and Irish!Thank you for this lovely review. Beth
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thanks! I have to say I laughed my arse off while I was writing it. I was very tired and in such a whacky mood at the time, and the words just came tumbling out. But the first draft looked very different. Thank goodness for Lariope and Irish!Thank you for this lovely review. Beth
I forgot how much I loved this story! I needed a chuckle tonight, and it was so wonderful!
Freakin' hilarious ending! I LOVE IT!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I had a really good time writing it, so I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.Beth
LOL, loved the ending. Looks like Severus got all his wishes in the end - without having to ask.
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thanks! I'm glad you had a laugh, and I'm glad for Severus that his wishes came true!Thanks for the shiny stars, too!Beth
Brilliant:-))
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you very much!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you very much!!!
OMG That.Was.Hilarious. It brought back 'fond' memeories of when my husband and I first got together (I'm sure we all have similar stories).I've been of two minds about Severus and farting (yes, I've thought about this before). I figure he either has the most awesome bum (from holding them in until he is behind closed doors, spells and wards) or he is the master of the 'drop and go'. When he is accused I suspect the look on his face matches the one in the GOF movie at the duel when he suggest Harry and Draco.Thank you for the laughs. You should write more. In fact, I think we need a whole new category for 'amusing bodily functions'.....
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review. This was fun story to write, and think you're right about "I'm sure we all have similar stories." LOL! Love your comment about the look Severus would have on his face if he got caught Pheeewwwwww-ing anywhere by anyone. I think you're right about that, too!!!Thanks again.BethPS- I was blown away by Proulxes sequel! It is a very secial gift that I will treasure always.
Response from Phyllidia (Reviewer)
Proulxes sequel was awesome.I must warn you that you 'dropped' a plot bunny in my head after reading your piece...it involves a staff meeting. Now if only my fingers will do the typing.
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Squeeeee! Go for it! *iz grinning* I'd love to see what mischief you can create in a staff meeting... and I imagine Severus (and myabe even Hermione) will be right in the thick of things doing his best "who me?" impression.PLEASE, PLEASE WRITE THIS!!! 
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review. This was fun story to write, and think you're right about "I'm sure we all have similar stories." LOL! Love your comment about the look Severus would have on his face if he got caught Pheeewwwwww-ing anywhere by anyone. I think you're right about that, too!!!Thanks again.BethPS- I was blown away by Proulxes sequel! It is a very secial gift that I will treasure always.
Response from Phyllidia (Reviewer)
Proulxes sequel was awesome.I must warn you that you 'dropped' a plot bunny in my head after reading your piece...it involves a staff meeting. Now if only my fingers will do the typing.
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Squeeeee! Go for it! *iz grinning* I'd love to see what mischief you can create in a staff meeting... and I imagine Severus (and myabe even Hermione) will be right in the thick of things doing his best "who me?" impression.PLEASE, PLEASE WRITE THIS!!!
This was funny and romantic! Although how a story with this much farting in it could be romantic, I'm not sure. If you can do that, you are an astounding author! Good job, Beth!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Wow! Thank you very much! I wish I were a more prolific writer, but my muse visits only sparingly. I am so delighted that you could find some thing to make you laugh (because that was my intention) and see the romance in it, too (cuz that was my hope, as well).With many thanks,Beth
Anonymous
This made me laugh so hard Beth! Mia is right, you have invented a new genre - fartfic. :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing that, and Lariope helped me so much with the beta-ing, and Irish was the one who kept after me to do something with it!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Beth
alliean's response: Hope you right more soon 
"Pheewwwwwww!". Snort, chuckle, bwahaahaa!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Hello,
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
! Thank you for reading my story and for leaving a review. I'm very happy you found my silly sense of humor to your liking.Beth
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Hello,
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
! Thank you for reading my story and for leaving a review. I'm very happy you found my silly sense of humor to your liking.Beth
I started laughing when S vowed to raise 'immortal hell' with the kitchen staff... and didn't stop. I wondered if the house-elves had an insidious plot underway when they presented brussel sprouts, broccoli and green beans with dinner ~fear!!~ I've forgotten the Zulu word for green beans, but it translates to 'thundering buttocks' (my dad worked in South Africa for a while). ~still laughing~ At least the house-elves know better now! And beans were banned from Hogwarts for(happily)ever after :oD
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
'thundering buttocks' This is hilarious! I am tickled that my story made you laugh! When I wrote it I was looking to relax and get over a particularly long period of seven days a week work weeks, and this was the the result. I don't know if beans were banned from Hogwarts for ever after, but they would never be served on Fridays again.Thank you for taking time to let me know you enjoyed my take of love and farts. I've been enjoying your story A Place in the World, and I'm delighted to see there is a new chapter!
Beth
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
'thundering buttocks' This is hilarious! I am tickled that my story made you laugh! When I wrote it I was looking to relax and get over a particularly long period of seven days a week work weeks, and this was the the result. I don't know if beans were banned from Hogwarts for ever after, but they would never be served on Fridays again.Thank you for taking time to let me know you enjoyed my take of love and farts. I've been enjoying your story A Place in the World, and I'm delighted to see there is a new chapter!Beth
FARTS! I love it.
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you,
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
! I still laugh at the thought of Severus walking up and down those stairs! When I wrote it, I swear I was exhausted and a bit silly-brained. I guess it shows... who writes a romance about farts?Thank you for your kind words. Beth
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you,
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
! I still laugh at the thought of Severus walking up and down those stairs! When I wrote it, I swear I was exhausted and a bit silly-brained. I guess it shows... who writes a romance about farts?Thank you for your kind words. Beth
That is Sooooo funny, great story and an awesome job, you need to write more.
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it! Good luck with "From Death To Life Again." It's an awesome story.Beth
Response from gersknightlady (Reviewer)
Thanks, people seem to be enjoying it.
Raven too.
Brilliant! I'll say it again! SO DANG FUNNY!!!!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review! I had so much fun writing it!Beth
I don't know how I missed this when you first posted it, but I've just read it and have to commend you. If you hadn't prefaced the story by telling us this was your first foray into writing fanfic, I would never have known! It's very well-written, and you obviously had fun writing it (which, in my opinion, should be an author's primary goal).I hope to see more stories from you!!
Response from braye27 (Author of Damned House-Elves!)
Thank you! I did have fun writing this, and I am so pleased that you liked it. I am not a writer of fiction per se, in fact, I hadn't written any fiction since my creative writing class required of all college freshmen in the late 1960's. It tickles me no end that you enjoyed my story!Beth