Part 4: The Partners

Part 4: The Partners

‘Come on, admit it. You are interested.’ Fanon-Snape is waving a stack of fan fiction in front of Canon-Snape’s nose, his eyes glittering mischievously. ‘You want to know all about those women, men, witches, wizards, Muggles and randy werewolves.’

Canon-Snape’s eyebrow shoots up. ‘Randy werewolves?’

Fanon-Snape smirks, amazed that he had to mention that twice for his counterpart to react. ‘Oh, yes. It turns out that dear Lupin can be quite kinky at times.’

‘And wizards?’ Canon-Snape seems appalled.

‘Especially dear Lucius.’

‘Lucius Malfoy?’ Now Canon-Snape isn’t appalled anymore. He is downright shocked!

‘I know!’ Fanon-Snape shudders theatrically. ‘I was kind of shocked myself. I mean, we know Lucius. Who knows where that cock has been? But then again, there is something called a Slytherin Sandwich. Not the worst thing you can have for breakfast.’

‘Slytherin Sandwich?’

Once more, Fanon-Snape smirks, this time at his counterpart’s temporary inability to form coherent sentences. ‘Unlimited varieties,’ he starts to explain. ‘There are uncountable witches who’d love to be caught between fair Lucius and dark Severus. Especially Miss Granger.’

‘The insufferable know-it-all?’ Canon-Snape snatches the fan fiction from Fanon-Snape. ‘Who writes this nonsense?’

‘Oh, come one. Hermione is a lovely little witch. Smartest of her age, warm hazel eyes, curly silken hair. Her charms make Lucius forget that she is a Mudblood, and she has even healed your heart.’

Canon-Snape throws the stack of fan fiction onto his desk. ‘I would never touch a student!’

‘Trust me, you’re missing out.’ Fanon-Snape leafs through the now scattered stories. ‘Let me show you. Where is it? Ah, here! A favourite of mine at the moment: The Star Sisters.’ He thrusts the story into Canon-Snape’s hands. ‘A Ravenclaw and a Slytherin, seventh-years, both lusting for you ... me ... us. Damn, this is confusing.’

‘Both?’

‘Well, Lucius is desperate to shag one of them. But hey, we get to watch. And who knows, maybe we will manage to win her over in the end. Nothing like a little challenge, no?’

‘We get to watch?’ Again, Canon-Snape’s eyebrow is threatening to disappear under his hairline.

‘And a good show it is. Lucius possesses skills, you know. And the girl makes such delicious noises.’

‘And the other one?’

‘Oh, that one makes delicious noises, too. We taught her a lesson in lust, lately. Chapter nineteen, I believe.’

Canon-Snape looks totally impassive, but Fanon-Snape knows his counterpart well enough to know that he is making a mental note. Looks like he’s finally interested.

‘Well, read it or don’t, dear Professor.’ Fanon-Snape fastens his cloak around his shoulders and strides towards the door. ‘I for one have some fan girls to please. And you, I believe, have dunderheads to teach.’

A/N: I apologise for the shameless pimpage and offer my thanks to sevibaby, who requested a chapter for all the different lovers Snape is supposed to have. Sorry for only having mentioned some of them. But I couldn’t make this a 50’000 words chapter, could I? :P