Chapter 7
Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner
Chapter 7 of 7
Southern_Witch_69A special Time-Turner helps Hermione go back and befriend young Snape. Together, they make a potion that will bring down the modern day Lord Voldemort once and for all.
Disclaimer: See previous.
Thanks go to litc for reading this shit story over for me.
The next day came upon them too quickly. The potion was ready to be tested. She took a deep drink, and after feeling dizzy for a moment, he stood straight.
Crack!
He Disapparated from the castle.
Crack! He Apparated back.
Sev looked at her and seemed to want to cry. "Stupefy!" he yelled. Nothing happened. "Are you all right?" he asked, coming to her.
"Your magic has been reduced! It works, Severus! You did it!" She began jumping up and down.
"We did it, Mione. I don't know how long it will last before it wears off though. I will test it again in ten minutes, but I won't test it on you again. That's just too dangerous. I will test it on myself. I should not have let you talk me into that. I could have hurt our little boy," he said excitedly.
They tested it in ten minutes. He tried to Stun himself and nothing happened. In another five minutes, he was able to give himself a bit of a Stun, so he made a notation in his diary that he had tested the potion. He was able to Disapparate and Apparate inside his dorm only once within three minutes. After that, the Apparation time passed, which was not true, but Voldemort didn't need to know that. They knew that the Death Eaters would start regaining their magic a little after ten minutes, so this would give Dumbledore and his forces at least seven minutes to take advantage of their weakened state.
She recorded all of these notes on parchment for Dumbledore. She told him the truth of exactly what happened. She hoped that she was doing the right thing. She also wrote him a second letter to tell him to be sure to put a Portkey within Snape's robes, else he wouldn't be coming back to them. She sealed up her parchments and put a time release charm. He would not be able to open either until the time and date she specified.
She then wrote Severus a letter as well. She knew he would read it after she left to go back in time. She hoped that he would not hold anything against her about the baby, though she did not mention it in her letter. She would leave that to Severus. She put the same charm on that letter as she had for Dumbledore's.
Severus and Hermione made their way into Hogsmeade where she met his cousin, Marilyn. She was a very nice lady, and Hermione really enjoyed talking to her. She promised them both that she would pack it away in a safe spot, and Severus would never get it from her unless he absolutely positively needed it.
After a light meal, they returned to the castle where she gave Dumbledore his letters. "I want you to know that I am very proud of you, Mione. You have apparently done our world a great service, though I won't know exactly what it is for years to come."
"Thanks, Headmaster," she said sweetly. "I couldn't have done it without your help."
"I fear I will have to tell everyone that I sent you back home for your own good. You've made quite a name for yourself amongst our staff and students. I will of course do what I can to ensure that people will not exactly remember you if I think it will cause any trouble for the future," he said wisely.
She nodded. On the way out, she saw McGonagall.
"So long, Professor," she said and brushed past her.
When she came back to her dorm, Severus was waiting there for her with cheeks dampened from tears that he was no longer crying. They simply held each other for hours until he finally spoke.
"It's time, Mione. I love you now, and I love you then. We were meant to be. I would like for you to do the honor of my memory charm."
"I am so in love with you, Severus. What if you don't want me anymore?" She wiped tears away from her eyes.
He kissed her softly to reassure her.
She watched him walk to the corner. He was doing something with his wand. Then he put something into a box and sealed it with magic. He turned back. "This is what you will instruct me to keep. Do a charm for just the right date."
Hermione quickly cast a charm on the box, so that he could open it when he opened her letter.
He lay back on her bed. "I'm ready, my love."
She began pacing back and forth.
"Mione..."
"I know, it's just hard. I'm afraid. I'm having your baby, and I don't know if you will want it." She went to him and kissed him. "I'll be waiting for you. Live your life as you see fit. The time will come when you will find out about me again. Be safe, my love."
Before he could reply, she pulled in her deepest thoughts about what he should remember. He should remember her as a French friend, one who did Potions with him, one who would give him gifts. Her face should be distorted so he wouldn't recognize her at Hogwarts. He should not remember he was in love with her, nor about the potion they had created... or the diary. With that in mind, she chanted a few charms.
He looked up at her through dazed, suspicious eyes. She made sure to speak with a French accent. "Silly Severus. You didn't have to come in here to tell me good-bye."
He blinked at her oddly.
"I have this gift and this letter for you. Thank you for all the good times and the help you gave me while I was a Slytherin here. You can't open these until the date I have written right there. I'm going back to France now." She shrank her trunk and put it in her Slytherin robes. She held the time piece in her hand as she made her way to the lake, feeling as though she was doing the hardest thing in her life.
Severus hadn't tried to follow her.
She stopped right in front of the tree that she'd gone to with Severus so many times tears flowing freely. Before she could click the stopper and say the chant, James Potter put his hand on her arm.
"What are you doing? Really doing?"
She looked at him through teary eyes. "I am going home."
"Are you a Seer? I was thinking about what you said. You said one day I will be important to this world." He looked so unsure of himself, so much like she remembered seeing Harry, that she wanted to hug him.
"James, I can tell you this, but you have to promise to tell nobody."
He nodded.
"I am have just Oblivated my memory from Severus. He thinks that we were just lab mates. I did that so that he would not be haunted by memories of me. Dumbledore is sending me home now. Please remember your promise to me."
"I won't forget. We'll act as if he's not there for the remainder of the school session. It's not much longer after all," he pointed out. "Now are you a Seer?"
"In the not too distant future, you and Lily will have a son named Harry. Protect him at all costs. He is the future of this world. He will be the light in dark times. Tell no one, save Lily, what I've told you," she whispered.
She saw him smile.
"Harry... I like that. It's a good English name."
She clicked the time piece and whispered her chant. James Potter's face faded into darkness in front of her.
****************************** uh oh ******************************
Severus Snape sat in his chair, dumbfounded. She would be back in a few minutes from now. He had read her letter, and he had opened the package. Surprisingly, it was from himself. It was a Pensieve and his mother's ring. He'd wondered what had happened to that ring. His younger version didn't want to grow old without ever knowing everything, so he'd collected all of his memories about the days he spent with Hermione. He looked at the two pieces of parchment in his hands. One was from Hermione.
Severus,
We have been successful. I told you I would not let you down. Voldemort won't know what hit him. I must admit that I wish I could have gone to school with you at this time for all your years. I would have liked nothing better than to spend all of your life with you. I love you. I had these feelings before I came here, but while I was here, they grew on me. You've grown on me. I am an adult, and I will give you time. I want you in my life always. Please think on it.
Love,
Mione
The other was a note from himself.
Severus,
We have completed everything, and it will go well as I suspect she has informed Dumbledore. I have taken good care of her, though I do not like the thought of being Oblivated about certain things. I have put every moment we've shared together in a Pensieve. I couldn't willingly do this thinking that I would never remember the best times of my life. It is your turn to take care of her. She is very important to me. Give her Mother's ring.
Severus
The words were so familiar to him before he looked into the pensive, but once he looked into the Pensieve, he didn't want to come out. Each memory that he saw came flooding back to him.
He saw her as she swept into the hall behind Dumbledore. She was unlike he'd ever seen her. Hermione Granger, the perfect Slytherin. Who would have known? That flame she zapped over Sirius' head was quite impressive. He was very impressed with her non wand magic. And it had been her who'd taught him to wield it.
He thought she was very crafty the way she handled Narcissa.
He admired her bravery in the story that she told him. It was the thing that brought him to trust her.
When he saw them make love, it took his breath away. He listened to her stories about her life, and he felt guilty as she told him stories about how he treated her at times. She never painted him as a bad guy though, but he could see how he had hurt her so badly.
He watched their progress as they made the potion, and he was impressed at how well they worked together. He couldn't believe how often they had made love. It had to be nearly every day since the first time.
Then he saw that when she had drifted off to sleep one night, he'd cast a pregnancy test on her.
A boy.
He saw himself weep with joy. Then he saw when he told her. She was hurt, feeling that she had been tricked. Then she was worried that his older self would blame her.
At last he saw the one memory he had been able to conjure on his own. The last time that they made love. He even witnessed their last conversation, probably the day she'd done the memory charm on him. She was afraid that he wouldn't want her.
Those were the memories he was dwelling on when he saw her appear again. She seemed disoriented for a moment. He'd never seen her more beautiful. She was standing there looking at him with fear, relief, and happiness in her Slytherin robes. He knew what every inch of her was like under those robes as well. He knew that she loved him. Not just the younger version of him, but him as he was now. His Mione. His child in her womb.
Merlin! He was going to be a father.
"Sev... Professor Snape," she said, clearly unsure what to call him.
He stood up then and walked forward slowly. "Silly... little... girl," he said menacingly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered and took a step away.
He grabbed her wrists. "How could you think that I wouldn't want you?"
"I have so many things to tell you. I don't know where to begin. I know you've read my letter. We did it. It works. You are brilliant! I am so glad that I got the chance to mee--"
He pressed his lips to hers to cut her off. Everything washed over him. The feelings. The longing. The need for her. The familiarity of her mouth and hands and body. His Mione. He broke away, and it left her breathless. He did indeed mature in the ways of sexual ability since his days of boyhood. He would be all too happy to show her, but within a few hours, there would be a battle here.
"I want you for all times. Apparently, nearly twenty years ago I wanted to give you this," he said softly, taking his mother's ring out of his pocket. "And I still want to give it to you, Mione."
She gasped and took the ring into her hands. "It's beautiful, Severus." He loved the sound of his name on her lips. "I'm afraid I... I have done something though. It was an accident, I swear, but I am... that is to say, we..."
Hermione couldn't say it.
He knew she was having a baby. But she wasn't going to blame his younger self or tell him that she was purposefully impregnated. And that made him love her even more.
"Hermione," he said softly. "I sent myself this ring and also a Pensieve. I saw and know everything." He placed a hand over her belly. "A son, is it?"
Tears of joy flowed from her eyes as she nodded. "I was afraid..."
"Shhhh, love, don't be," he said firmly. "I want to spend all my life with you. We will raise our son together. You will be my wife."
He smiled as he held her. How could fate have been so good to him? This changed his entire outlook on everything.
************************** woohoo!! **************************
Epilogue
Three years had passed since the final battle had taken place at Hogwarts. Voldemort and every Death Eater under him had Apparated into the castle. Instead of them ambushing anyone, they'd been the ones ambushed. They'd been defeated easily.
Harry Potter took his place in history by killing the most evil wizard of the age. Everyone involved received an Order of Merlin, first class.
Everyone easily accepted the new nature of Hermione and Severus' relationship, though McGonagall took to teasing her immensely. Their son, Ronnie, was born and healthy as could be. They still resided at Hogwarts though they went home during breaks to Snape Manor. Hermione was expecting a second child, this time a girl.
Nothing could have ever been better.
She was glad that she'd gone back to the past. It meant that she was the first true love of her older husband's life. They created life through that love. She knew that they would have been together eventually, but she didn't mind the help.
~insert fancy word that means The End here~
AN: LOL And that concludes our "old timey type" of fanfiction. All hail the awesome Time-Turner (goes off in search of a good one now).
Thanks for reading along and having fun with me. Good luck in your writing. May you do much better than this!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner
105 Reviews | 6.93/10 Average
You really have managed to include a lot of clichés in this story. Having read my share of Time-Tuner fics, I recognized them and was rather entertained. Good work, Sun.
The single room for Mione (LOL!) is very convenient. They couldn’t have shagged like bunnies otherwise. And not a thought about contraception in all those weeks? Not really very Hermione. Very Slytherin of Sev to make sure his older self will get laid by a pretty girl by making her pregnant. Hermione has accepted her fate as a soon to be teenage mommy rather readily. I’d have expected her to go raving mad. Soooo sweet!
A dark witch? Well, Sirius should recognize one when he sees one, with that cousin of his. Double-virgin double-orgasm - every teenager’s dream come true.And in the post coital bliss the Gryffindor in her can’t help herself but blurt everything out. This is very entertaining! I bet you had as much fun writing it as I have reading it.
Now, I do see someone who is enjoying it immensely to act like a proper Slytherin. What fun it must be to impersonate Draco LOLI just wonder whether about the Sorting Hat. For the child Hermione it considered Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but let’s face it, the older Hermione got the more Slytherin traits she developed, so the Hat was able to put her in Slytherin as it saw the need for it in her thoughts. I doubt it would have placed her in a House just because the Headmaster told it so. Professor Odkins, oh my. I wonder about his drinking habits. So much for taking it slow. The Gryffindor in her comes through with that, isn’t it? Perhaps you should post this one at the pit of voles without the parody-warning. I’d like to see the raving fangurrls.
I have finally come around to reading this parody. It really is brilliant, Sun. You manage to pack so many overused plots iin this story, it should be declared an artform for itself. Your characters are switching from OOCnes to ICness in such a rapid succession that I'm nearly dizzy from it.
I loved this story!It was a great parody.I love time turner stories as well!
I loved this story!It was a great parody.I love time turner stories as well!
it was a fun ride! thanks so much
I was all right until I got to the part about "Snape Manor." *Snort!* Then the chuckles simply would not be denied.Good story. I do love a happy ending! Thanks for a fun read, Southern; good job.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! "Ronnie" Oh, gheez, no... Brilliant... and terrible, but that was the point was it not!?!
It was corny, it was cheesy- it was perfect! I do dearly love the SS/HG pairing, and this was a great parody of it!
Well now I don't know if this will help me in my writing, I'm worried that now I will write like this just because this story will stick in my head. If that happens I will just have to say that it is all my favorite author's fault. Brilliant work but that is expected from you.
Wow.... Wonderfull story
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Thanks :)
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Thanks :)
How's that for cornball?! LOL And I thought I was a sap!This was lots of fun. Thanks for the entertainment.
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Teehee You're welcome :)
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Teehee You're welcome :)
Well, any intentional goofs certainly didn't keep my eyes from tearing up at the end. I'm such a sap! Snape watching the Pensieve and then their reunion were both great! The Epilogue was hilarious!
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Thanks. :) I wish I could go back in time and change shit. hehe
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Thanks. :) I wish I could go back in time and change shit. hehe
Nice ending but I was surprised that they named their little boy Ronnie.All well, I'm a sucker for happy ending.
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Snerk. Poor Ronnikins. Hermione wanted to honor her dear friend who'd died in the war. LOLYeah, Snape would allow that. < /sarcasm> hehehhe
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Author of Parody: The Amazing Time-Turner)
Snerk. Poor Ronnikins. Hermione wanted to honor her dear friend who'd died in the war. LOLYeah, Snape would allow that. < /sarcasm> hehehhe
Classic!
I'm exctatic. It's just perfect. I loved the previous chapter so much that I read it THREE times and I nearly reviewed it as much. I probably will do the same thing with this one. Atlough it's a parody and BLA BLA BLA I love the way you wrote it and even more I adore sappy endings. I could read them forever. So I'm absolutely delighted with the whole story despite what everyone could thing of it. Again thank you for writing it.PS: if you find some Timer Turner story that you like, I'm sure I'll like it too. So please let me know. Again HUGE THANKS for everything.
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
And one more thing: what's that name Ronnie? (I told you I would read it more than once )
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
And one more thing: what's that name Ronnie? (I told you I would read it more than once )
Loved it. Thanks for sharing.
RONNIE?????Now, I believe you that this was a parody!!! I've really enjoyed this story, great work!gab
RONNIE?????Now, I believe you that this was a parody!!! I've really enjoyed this story, great work!gab
Ahhh, all's well that ends well. I think you've created the perfect Time-Turner fic here. Oh, and those chapter breaks... to die for. So much better than your average dot dot dot or dash dash dash.
I truly loved that part where Hermione tried to save him from himself by not telling the details about just how she got pregnant. The woman is a Slytherin at heart.So sad this is over. It has been a truly fun read. It literally 'had it all.'
I still say your writing made this parody almost a primer. Thanks for the fun.
of course, to be a proper parody she must be preggers. love this story. thanks
OK, that one was really full of pretty much every cliche I've read about her return. Hee. Yes, I'm enjoying this very much. Sev's son, which he decided he had to have.