Memory Lane

Chapter Four – Memory Lane

"Now remember, boy, you do anything to embarrass us in front of the Malfoys and I'll make you wish you'd never been born. I'll skin you alive." The elder Snape glared at his son where he stood shivering in his worn cloak. "Take that cloak off! Now!" He fingered the heavy leather belt he wore, almost as if he wished his son would disobey.

The boys didn't wait for permission to be revoked, and dashed off to the broom stable.

~*~

Severus woke up with a jolt as something heavy landed with a thump at his feet. A hasty Lumos revealed a large black cat sitting on the end of his bed, calmly regarding him with glowing green eyes. He settled back under the covers as the cat curled up and began purring. Being at this Malfoy Manor had obviously triggered memories.

He remembered his second visit to that Malfoy Manor all too well. Another formal dinner party, with several other children this time. They were all the same age as Lucius - older than he was. He'd met them, shyly mumbling his name and trying to match their names and faces. Vic Crabbe, Gary Goyle, Ewen Macnair, and others.

Vic and Ewen had grabbed him and dragged him down to the dungeons - a part of the manor he hadn't seen on his first visit. Vic had locked him in one of the cells while Ewen read him a litany of all his "sins", starting with him being "too young" to be worth anything.

"So we'll just leave you down here, little boy," he'd said. "No one will miss you. And even if they do, they'll never find you!"

He'd believed it. But just before he opened his mouth to plead for release, Lucius had showed up, absolutely furious. He'd shoved Ewen up against the wall with one arm across his throat.

"What're you doing? Let Sev out. Now!"

"Aw, Luce, we was just havin' some fun!" Vic turned the key in the lock as Lucius glared at him.

"Sev is my friend. You be nice to him!" It would've sounded funny coming from anyone else, but it seemed strangely fitting from Lucius.

And so it had gone. Lucius had become his protector. If the other boys didn't like him being there, they were wise enough to keep their opinions to themselves. When Lucius had gone off to Hogwarts, he'd made a point of writing to Severus three or four times during the year, telling him all about the school. Severus' father had been very pleased at this, and ordered him to do everything he could to stay friends once he started at Hogwarts.

Lucius had changed during his fourth year - Severus' second. He grew disdainful of Muggleborn wizards, and had begun to use the word "Mudblood" more and more frequently - though he was careful that the staff at Hogwarts never heard him. During the summer following, he'd often voiced the thought that Mudbloods were second-class citizens, and Muggles were quite simply good for nothing but slaves. Except that they weren't nearly as useful as house elves. Severus didn't quite understand the change in his formerly good-natured friend, but he'd gone along with it, especially when those sentiments were echoed by Vic and Gary and the rest of the Slytherins.

Lucius had always been interested in the Dark Arts, but during his fifth year this interest blossomed into something bordering on obsession. With the interest also came the beginnings of a cruel streak, and even his Housemates sometimes found themselves on the receiving end of various hexes and sharp words. They learned to walk lightly around him.

Severus dozed off again, despite the disturbing memories.

~*~

Flickering torches cast shadows over us. Gary waves his torch around to make the shadows dance. Rough flagstones rub underfoot as we make our way into the dungeons below the manor. Light dances off Lucius' shining blond hair. We stop in front of the same cell that Vic Crabbe locked me in seven -- no eight, years earlier. The door is closed.

I remember that night eight years ago all too well. It was one of the first times I'd been to Malfoy Manor, and I was the youngest one there. I didn't know anyone but Lucius. That made me fair game and easy prey. Lucius stopped them. He wouldn't let them hurt me. They said it was only a joke. Gorgeous, glorious Lucius. He always protects me.

He doesn't need to protect me from Vic and Gary and the others any more. We're all friends now. I've spent most of the summer here at Malfoy Manor, and gotten to know them. Vic and Gary want my help with Potions when school starts. Ewen wants help with Defense Against the Dark Arts. He can't cast a Patronus to save his neck.

White teeth flash as Lucius grins, yanking me back to the present. "You didn't think I'd forgotten about your birthday, did you?"

I raise one eyebrow in answer. "You've never forgotten." And he never has. Not in the eight years since we first met. It's hard for me to buy things for his birthday, but he says he understands.

"Hah! Good answer, Sev! Your present's in there." He gestures with the torch toward the closed door. "But first!" A long smooth hand darts into a pocket and pulls out a bottle. "A toast! To Severus! Happy Fourteenth!"

Passing the bottle around. Take a drink and hand it on. Swallow hard. Ignore the burning in throat and stomach. It's a fine brandy filched from the wine cellar. Lucius has impeccable taste.

It's easier the second time the bottle comes around. The brandy doesn't burn in my stomach any more. Even easier, the third. The burning has turned into a kind of glowing warmth. Everything looks brighter, but kind of distorted at the same time. When the bottle's empty, Lucius opens the cell.

It's a small room, this cell. It was empty except for a thick carpet of dust six years ago when I was its occupant, for that little while. It's been cleaned sometime recently, because the smell of cleanser lingers. And now there's a bed in it. A bed... with a girl... What? Oh! Oh no! What? She's my present, this girl. My present from Lucius.

She's a Muggle... a Mudblood. I have to do this. They expect it. Lucius wants me to. I can't disappoint him. He's protected me! I owe him!

She has brown hair and eyes. Huge wild eyes, like a fox caught in a trap. Long brown hair - it would fall halfway down her back if she was standing. But she's not. She's just lying there. She's not screaming either. Must be a spell... I can't do this... I can't. Turn around to look at them. They're grinning and laughing. They're my friends! They thought I would enjoy this! Merlin's teeth!

Grin back at them. Then turn back and go over to the bed. I don't think about what I'm doing. I just do it. The brandy makes it easier to not think about it. I finish and roll off her. Lucius flashes me a thumbs up as Vic moves past me. I grin at him like an idiot, ignoring what's going on behind me. Vic is a grunter, and someone else makes a rude comment about him.

I respond with a ruder one, and everyone laughs. It's like I passed some kind of test. Maybe I did.

~*~

Severus jerked upright, groping for his wand in the dark before he realized he'd been dreaming again. Or rather, having a nightmare. No, it was worse than a nightmare. He shivered despite the Warming charm on his blankets. He hadn't told anyone else about that night. He cast another Lumos spell, and rubbed his face.

"Oh dear Merlin." He'd tried, really tried, to forget about that night. "They'll hate me here if they find out about that. I can't tell them. I won't tell them!" The resolution made him feel a little better, and he was able to doze off shortly after, into a rest untroubled by dreams, soothed by the purring of the black cat at his feet.