Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hermione eyed the black tulip in the vase on her coffee table. She had just gotten home from work and was taking a quick break before heading over to Severus' cottage. She mulled over the fight they had had the day before. She was happy that everything had turned out alright in the end. The possibility that after such a battle they should not even be speaking at this time loomed in front of her. Severus had given her a second chance, and she was truly grateful. He had even given her a flower as a peace offering. Now that had been a surprise.

Nonetheless, she had some trepidation about returning to his home today. She knew things would be awkward. They always were after two people had a huge row. She also would have to deal with her embarrassment. She still felt awful for betraying Severus' trust the way she had. Her actions had been foolish, and she was lucky he had forgiven her.

Maybe Severus would be nervous too. He was probably embarrassed about his part in the argument. Of course, he'd probably never show that embarrassment. He'd probably just be gruff and aloof. Well, more so than usual.

Hermione mulled over the upcoming situation. She should do something to ease the embarrassment for the both of them. She felt she owed him anyway. Perhaps she could give him something? That would show him she appreciated him letting her continue to work with him. Quickly coming up with the perfect gift from one bookworm to another, she hurried out the door and headed back to her shop.

oooOOOooo

Hermione knocked on Severus' door and heard him yell to her to enter. She had a strong feeling of déjà vu as she opened the door, expecting to see Severus bent over his desk at Hogwarts, grading papers in his classroom. Instead, he was bent over his table, studying the diary. She closed the door and joined him at the table. She gave him a tentative smile.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hermione," Severus said shortly.

Hermione sighed. She had been right about this meeting being awkward. At least she had come prepared.

"I brought something for you," she told Severus as she handed him an oblong box.

Severus looked up at her curiously and then at the extended package. It was a small gold box with a golden ribbon around it. He continued to stare at it without taking it from her hand.

"It won't bite, I promise," she assured him.

Severus narrowed his eyes at her and took her gift. He undid the ribbon and opened the box. He looked into it for a moment before reaching in and lifting out its contents. It was a very flat phoenix rimmed in gold. He turned it over and examined it curiously.

"It's a bookmark," Hermione explained. "It's enchanted to adhere to the page where you place it. It can only be removed and placed by you. It will magically underline the place on the page where you stopped reading. When you remove the bookmark, the line will disappear also."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her explanation. He examined the bookmark closely. The phoenix was a dark red, its wings extended as if it was about to take flight. Severus ran his fingers over the smooth surface. He was surprised at the gift. It wasn't as if he had never received a gift before, but usually gifts to him came from people who were obligated to give him something. His mother, of course, had given gifts from her heart and for no reason except for the fact that she liked to see him smile. With their financial situation, the gifts were usually something simple. A small note or a hug was the extent of them usually. But Severus knew they were gifts from her, and he had treasured them.

Lily had given him a gift once. It was a birthday gift for his 12th birthday. It was a quill. He still had it, kept safe in a box in the bottom drawer of his desk. Occasionally he would pull it out and hold it reverently. Visions of the past would fill his head, and he would wonder what his life would be like if Lily had had feelings for him as more than a friend. Usually those trips down memory lane would end up in his slamming the quill back down into the drawer while tears fell down his cheeks. The quill would then not be unearthed again for a long time.

Most of the gifts her received, however, had been obligatory. Mostly he received Christmas gifts from colleagues that he would burn in the fireplace unless they caught his fancy. Occasionally, Lucius Malfoy had sent a gift on some occasion or another. He had received the odd gift now and then from someone who wanted to get on his good side. They learned swiftly that gifts were not a payoff to him and would never repeat the mistake again. But truthfully, no one ever gave Severus a gift simply because they just wanted him to have something.

He had lived all his life with the knowledge that no one liked him well enough to give him anything out of friendship. He was destined to be an acquaintance to all he knew. No one cared enough about him to do anything out of the ordinary. He was used to being looked over and forgotten unless there was some emergency only he could rectify. He didn't care. It didn't bother him that no one felt strongly enough about him to give him a small token of that esteem. He was used to being ignored.

But here was a gift without strings attached, given simply out of generosity. Severus didn't know what to make of it. There was no special holiday coming up, and Hermione had no ulterior motives in giving him the bookmark, save perhaps as a peace offering. She had given it to him nonetheless. Small as the gesture may seem, it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him. He felt himself get choked up and fought with his emotions to not show her his weakness at her generosity.

He finally looked over at her.

"Thank you," he said simply.

Hermione sat down next to him and looked over at the diary that sat open on the table.

"You've gotten a head start," she mused.

"Not much of one," Severus replied, pulling himself together finally as he placed the bookmark down on the table next to the diary. "I just started about five minutes ago." His voice was as strong as it usually was again, but it had more warmth than it had when she had first entered.

Hermione and Severus buried themselves in their research. The awkwardness fell away, and they worked amiably for the rest of the evening.

oooOOOooo

It had taken them another full week to get through Sutton's diary. Hermione marveled at how extensive it was. Severus and she had worked well together. They each skimmed the same page of the diary at the same time, catching things the other would miss. Of course Severus had snapped at her now and then, but Hermione counted it as a win when he snapped less and less each day.

They now sat at Severus' table eyeing the stack of copies they had made from the diary.

"Now what?" Severus asked.

"Now," Hermione sighed, "we read each one of these carefully looking for clues to Horatio Holt's whereabouts at the time, or any other clues that would be helpful."

They each took a paper and began to read and look for clues. After two hours of steady concentration, Hermione looked up at Severus.

"Look at this," she requested as she pushed a paper over to him.

Severus picked up the copy and read it.

Today Master Holt has left me to my own devices. He has to make a trip to Italy for the weekend. He has a summer home there and needs to make it usable for the upcoming season. Perhaps when I am a great Potions master like him, I too will be able to summer in Italy.

Severus looked back up at Hermione with an arched eyebrow.

"Italy," he mused. "But where in Italy?"

"We'll have to continue digging. Perhaps Sutton will mention it again."

They continued for another hour before ending their day. Hermione had yawned about seven times in the previous two minutes, and she knew that it was time for her to get to bed. She stood to go.

"Severus, I'm a zombie. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll keep searching," he told her.

She bent down low and looked into his face.

"Get some sleep, Severus. You don't want to miss something because you're nodding off in the middle of reading."

Severus scowled at her. "I am perfectly fine!"

Hermione stood up and gave him a dubious look. "You're as tired as I am, Severus. Get some rest."

With that she turned and let herself out. Severus' scowl grew deeper. How dare she tell him what to do! He was used to being up at all hours of the night! If he wanted to be up doing research, he would darn well be up doing research. He grabbed another copy with a sneer and began to read it. He could not concentrate; his mind kept going to Hermione. She was a bossy cow. Ordering him about like that. Of course, when she had gotten so close to him, he had noticed her eyes were quite pretty. Severus' jaw tightened. Now he was thinking of Hermione Granger as a pretty woman, instead of the child she was.

But she wasn't a child anymore, was she? Hardly... she was a beautiful woman. The buck-toothed, bushy-haired, know-it-all girl had transformed into a beautiful, shapely, knowledgeable woman with hair that was angelic and eyes that matched.

He put his head in his hands. What was he doing to himself? He should not think of a business partner like this. She was just another woman. A woman who certainly would never be interested in the likes of him! He definitely spent too much time cooped up in his cottage. He was making up romantic situations where there were none. He lifted his head and dragged his fingers along his face.

The thought of spending more time with Hermione was not unpleasant to him. She had a stunning intellect, and she was incredibly witty. He even thought she liked him a little bit. She at least tolerated him and perhaps thought of him as a friend. She seemed to laugh at him often, but he wasn't sure if that was because he was funny or because he was predictable to her. He assumed it was a bit of both.

He thought about her laugh. It was almost musical. It lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle. He had to admit, he tried to make her laugh. He would say something snarky, and she would crack a smile. He would purposely scowl at her for smiling, and her grin would grow wider. He would make himself look extremely put out, and she would burst into laughter. Secretly he was congratulating himself for making her laugh, but his exterior showed nothing but frustration with her for making fun of him. It worked every time. He grinned to himself as he thought about it.

How had this woman become so close to him, especially in so little time? Was he really so lonely that he would grasp at any show of friendliness and cling to it? He didn't want to be close to anyone, let alone her!

His desire for solitude was one of the reasons he had left his job. The other, of course, was the desire to not surround himself with dunderheaded students. But the desire for solitude was why he had decided to become a recluse. He didn't want to look into the faces of people, whether he knew them or not, and see pity in their eyes. He didn't want to always wonder what their motives were. Were they being nice to him because they actually felt something akin to friendship for him, or was it just all an act?

He was the master actor and knew that it was easy to fool others into thinking what he wanted them to think about him. He was sure others would do the same. Who would truly want to be friends with him? No one. They would just pretend to be something they weren't. He couldn't deal with that. He resigned from his position and kept himself company. At least he knew that Severus Snape would never treat himself improperly or with secret disdain. It had been for the better. He had not had to think about another person or their reaction to him for quite sometime. He had not needed to worry about being close to people.

Friendships like the one with Granger were what he had been seeking to escape. Friendships were a liability. Friendships required him to let his guard down. He hated letting his guard down. After so many years of having to be secretive and guarded, he found himself feeling very vulnerable whenever he had to put his trust in another person. It made him feel as if he was about to fall into a great chasm. The only people he had ever given any of his trust to were Dumbledore and McGonagall.

He was unsure whether he should have ever trusted Dumbledore. The man had only used him for his own purposes. Their relationship had left Severus feeling used instead of feeling trusted. He had killed the wizard, his 'friend,' and had felt incredibly guilty for years. Unfortunately, it had taken all of those years to realize just how manipulated he had been by Dumbledore. Certainly there could have been another way to save Draco Malfoy's soul. If the old wizard had just up and died, Draco's soul would have been saved, the Dark Lord would have been appeased, and Severus would not have been thought a murderer by the entire Wizarding world.

He was still feeling the effects of Dumbledore's murder. Every now and then a Howler would find him in his secluded cottage. They usually had ranted on about how he was nothing but a cold blooded murderer who was hiding behind the robes of Harry Potter, who, for some reason, was protecting him. As if he would ever allow Potter to cover for him in anything!

Other Howlers had said they believed that he was following Dumbledore's orders, but that he shouldn't have. He should have had the courage to not kill him. Imagine the audacity of people to measure the amount of courage that he had within him. He would like to see any of those nosy busybodies do what he had to do in just one day of being a double spy. They would most likely curl into a ball on their beds, shivering wildly, never to emerge again from their miserable existence.

Unfortunately, that was how people were. They thought they knew what everyone else was about and that they had the answers to everything. That was why he had chosen to barricade himself in his cottage until very recently.

Hermione Granger had seen to his reemergence in the Wizarding world. He supposed that a couple of excursions out of his cottage really didn't count as being reintegrated in the Wizarding world, but it was much more than he had done in five years. Besides, he valued his solitude!

Who was he kidding? He was a lonely man who had jumped at the chance for some outside contact. Sure, he had been reticent at first, but he found he enjoyed Hermione's company. He enjoyed having interesting conversations with her. He enjoyed her musical laughter. What had happened to his carefully constructed anti-social persona? Hadn't he wanted to be alone?

Now he had Hermione Granger in his living room on a daily basis. His carefully constructed life was beginning to become messy. He wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.

oooOOOooo

As for Hermione, as she settled herself at home, she thought upon the evening's activities and was ecstatic. They had found an important clue, and the day had gone by with Severus only being snarky at the end of it as she was leaving. At this rate he would fall in love with her in...she did the Arithmantic puzzle in her head...fifty years.

She rolled her eyes as she pulled her clothes off and changed into some satiny purple pajamas. He had to come around sooner than that! She was afraid to push him though. Hopefully, he had gotten over her betrayal of his trust. He had warmed to her in the past week that they had been searching the diary. His nasty comments had come at fewer times. She had not wanted him to suspect her motives. In reality, she hadn't even been sure if he thought of her as a woman, she had been his student for so long. It had been hard for her to not think of him as her professor, and she had thought about him in the past much more than he had ever thought about her.

How would he ever fall for her? He had thought she was a know-it-all for... well... forever. Perhaps she should be more forward? Maybe she should flash more smiles at him? A few gentle caresses of his hand might do the trick? Yes, that would surely work! Then he would storm out of her house or throw her out of his, claiming she was up to no good.

This was much harder than she had anticipated. He had been so solitary for so long. Now he was suspicious of everything. Could he ever let his guard down to trust another person again? Had he ever truly trusted anybody before now? She really wasn't sure. She could only hope and keep trying to get him to let his guard down around her.

She shook her head. She would just have to be patient. Hopefully it wouldn't take the full fifty years to turn Severus' heart to hers. She laughed as she imagined herself an old lady, finally getting an even older Dumbledore-like Snape to finally kiss her. The excitement of it would probably give them both heart attacks, and they would drop dead right there.

Unfortunately, the way things were going, that was what would really happen! She rolled her eyes and chided herself for her negative thinking. She knew that if she just continued to be chipper and not let his caustic attitude depress her, she would succeed. She had to. She knew in her heart he was the only one for her.

A/N: Next up: The return of Pierre, the creep.

It seems Severus, unbeknownst to Hermione, may be coming around. We can only hope it doesn't take the full fifty years to get him swayed. Lol.