Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Severus waited at St. Mungo's for word on Hermione's condition. He sat in a chair in the waiting room, bent over, with his hands clasped in front of him. After a long wait, a mediwitch came up to him with news. She assured him that Hermione would be alright. She just needed to stay in the hospital for a couple of days to make sure that the spells and potions they had given her to repair her lungs had worked completely. The mediwitch told him that she would have trouble breathing for a few more hours, but that should subside with the potion's healing powers. She finished her report and told Severus where Hermione's room was so he could go in and visit her if he liked. Severus rose and made his way into her room. The curtains were drawn, and the room was gloomy and dark. Hermione lay in the bed, with the covers almost up to her chin. She looked small and vulnerable in the large hospital bed. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them quickly when she heard his footsteps coming toward her bed.

"How do you feel?" Severus asked her.

"Like a piano fell on my chest," Hermione rasped. "What was that he hit me with?"

"It's a dark spell that causes the lungs to disintegrate."

"I owe you my life, Severus," Hermione said hoarsely. Her breathing was labored and raspy.

Severus didn't say anything. If he hadn't requested she find the book, they would have never been in the situation that had hurt her. He felt incredibly guilty for bringing her into the whole affair.

"Thank you, Severus," Hermione whispered and reached out for his hand.

Severus looked down at it as if it were a poisonous snake. He looked back to Hermione, and she realized he wouldn't take her hand, so she let it drop to her side.

"I won't forget what you have done," she continued.

"You need to rest," was the only thing Severus could say.

"I am resting," she murmured laboriously. "I'm lying down, aren't I?"

Severus appraised the woman in front of him. Even in the face of disaster, she was trying to be chipper. He shook his head at her as he sat in the chair next to the bed.

"I'm sorry I got you into this mess," he said finally.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "I went into that house knowing what might happen, Severus. Don't blame yourself."

"If I hadn't asked you to dig up that infernal book, this would never have happened."

"Severus, that's my job. People ask me to find books for them." Hermione stopped talking for a minute to catch her breath. "Occasionally," she continued, "I need to do something dangerous. It just comes with the job. Don't think this is your fault. It isn't. If you hadn't insisted that we stay together, I probably would be dead now. Thank you."

Severus only grunted.

"When I'm out of here, I'll go back and get the book for you," she said weakly.

Severus' face turned into an angry sneer.

"Forget about the bloody book. I don't want it!"

Hermione shook her head. "No, you hired me to find it. I will find it."

"It has caused enough trouble already. The stupid book is not worth any more trouble!"

Severus didn't know why he was being so adamant. Just the thought of Hermione returning to that stupid mansion to look for a ridiculous book was enough to make him want to punch a wall. Why should he care if she wanted to risk her life in getting his book?

"You can come with me," Hermione offered.

"No, forget I asked about it. I don't want to talk about it any more. It is of no consequence to me if it is found or not, and I will not have you risking your life on my account again."

"Severus, Lestrange is dead. He can't bother us anymore."

"Drop it, Hermione. I don't want the infernal book."

Hermione sighed. "As you wish, Severus."

oooOOOooo

Hermione was released two days later. She was a bit weak, but her lungs were in perfect working order. Severus saw to it that she was settled into her bed at her home. He set a tray with lunch at her bedside before leaving her to return to his cottage.

He entered his home and sat on his couch. He had gotten some strange looks at St. Mungo's. He was unsure whether he had been recognized or not, but he had refused to leave Hermione alone. His feelings of guilt had made him stay at the hospital the entire two days she had been there. She had pleaded for him to go home and get some rest, but he had ignored her. He was now exhausted, having tried to sleep on the chair by Hermione's bed, but it had been a hopeless cause.

He was still angry with himself for involving Hermione in such a dangerous quest. He would have never consulted her if he had known what the consequences would have been. Now to top it off, he probably would see his name plastered across the front page of the Prophet proclaiming his return from the dead.

He got up and wandered over to his window. There were a couple of newspapers placed on the ledge, as he had not been there to receive them. He grabbed them, scowling, and opened the first one up. He quickly flipped through the rag. To his surprise, there was no mention of him anywhere. He examined the other papers, but found no trace of his name, or the fact that he had been out and about in the Wizarding world. At least his privacy had been kept intact. If anyone at St. Mungo's had recognized him, they had been quiet about it. He thanked Merlin for small favors.

Exhaustion finally hit him, and he decided to go to bed, even though it was still mid afternoon. He hadn't slept in almost two days, after all.

oooOOOooo

The next day, Hermione entered Severus' cottage with a large book in her hand. She smiled at him and handed the book to him. Severus reached out and took it, eyeing the cover. It was the book they had been seeking at the Lestrange Mansion. Severus' lip thinned into a slim line, and anger welled up within him. Placing the book down on the table, he looked at Hermione in fury.

"Didn't I tell you to forget about this?" he asked tersely.

Hermione looked taken aback. "It was really no trouble at all. I found it within five minutes of being there, Severus, and with the Aurors poking around and doing their investigation, I was completely safe. Harry and Ron were both there."

Severus slammed his hand down on the table next to the book. "I don't care if the whole bloody Ministry of Magic was there! I told you not to go back for this book!"

"And I told you, I don't leave a job undone!" Hermione said, in a bit of a snit herself.

"So, you blatantly disregard your client's wishes whenever you feel like it?" Severus shouted as he stood up in front of her.

Hermione drew up next to him. "It was a simple matter to get it. I even arranged for Harry and Ron to be there when I was there. Would you stop overreacting?"

"Overreacting?" He got within an inch of her face. "You weren't the one who saw you crash into the wall and then had to rush you to the hospital to save you from asphyxiating. You weren't the one who had to wait in the lobby while the Healers worked on you, not knowing if you would survive a curse that should have never been directed at you! How dare you accuse me of overreacting?!"

Hermione's anger softened a bit. He was only concerned for her welfare. Granted, he had an odd way of showing it, but that was Severus Snape.

"Severus, I know we were in grave danger before, but . . ."

"But nothing! You irresponsibly put your life in danger only a couple of days after it was almost taken from you."

He pulled back and sneered at her. How could she be so irresponsible? He had saved her life, and for what? The insolent, head-strong, chit had gone right back into that devil house and risked it all over again! Severus closed the distance between the two of them, placed his hands on her arms and shook her.

"How dare you!" he bellowed. "How dare you ignore my request?! How could you do such a thing? Why would you go back and risk your life after I told you to forget about that book? I told you not to go, but you ignored me completely!"

Severus shook her again. His eyes were filled with rage. There was a wild trace of fear in them also. "Don't you realize you could have been killed? What if Lestrange was in contact with someone? What if they chose to come investigate what had happened? They would have found you..." he shook her again, "and killed you..." another shake, "without batting an eye!" he screamed.

Severus was breathing heavily now. His fury and concern about her welfare had sent him into a crazed state. Hermione stared at him, not even knowing what to say.

"Severus... I'm sorry!" she finally said.

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. His hands still clutched at her in an almost possessive way.

"A partnership has to have a certain amount of trust in it, Hermione. You have just proven yourself untrustworthy."

Hermione stared at Severus as his statement sunk into her mind. She had taken his trust and stomped all over it. How stupid could she have been to misjudge him so badly? She had thought he would be happy that she had ultimately gotten the book. Of course, if she had thought about it for more than two seconds before rushing off, she would have realized that he would have done exactly what he was doing right now: blow up at her. She had run blindly and did what she thought was best, no matter the consequences.

She thought she had outgrown that little character flaw. It had plagued her throughout her school years. She had always been a thinker and a planner. Unfortunately, at times she would come to the wrong conclusion. She would think, deduce a plan, forget to think again, and stubbornly forge ahead, destroying whatever she had built up for herself prior to her stupidity. She thought she was done with such behavior. This little escapade, however, was utter proof that she was still a headstrong woman who didn't think of the consequences. She simply forged on ahead with what she felt was the right thing to do, everyone else be damned. She had been the one damned this time. She had acted foolishly.

"Severus, please..."

"How can I trust you, Hermione?" he sneered. "If you can't follow a simple request, how can I even think to trust you about anything remotely important?"

His statement spoke volumes. He wasn't talking about books anymore. He was talking about friendship and caring. He had let himself care for this woman in his arms, even when he knew it was against his better judgment. Every time he got emotionally involved with someone in even the smallest way, he paid for it dearly. They betrayed him in one way or another. Hermione Granger was no different. He had blamed himself for getting her into this mess, and she just ran right back and did it all over again! He had been a fool to let himself be coerced into helping her in the first place. It had done nothing but bring danger and exposure to his simple life.

"Severus, I'm sorry! I didn't think! I just wanted you to have that book! I just wanted to make you happy! Please! Don't think badly of me because of a stupid, ill-thought-out action!" She grasped his arms and squeezed them, trying to make him understand.

oooOOOooo

They stood there, arm in arm, just staring at each other for several minutes. Severus was at a loss as to what to do or think. She had just been trying to please him. He had to admit that she had taken every possible precaution, even inviting her two sidekicks from the past to watch over her. Perhaps he was overreacting. Still, how could he trust her if she couldn't even listen to a simple request? She was ultimately trying to do something nice for him, and he had blown up at her and accused her of being reckless. It had been typical Snape behavior.

He squeezed her arms in frustration, then broke her hold on him. Stalking over to the window, he glared out into his back yard. He eyed the black tulips that he had enchanted to bloom during every season. His mood was just as black as the petals of the flowers.

Hermione was right, he had overreacted. But she could have gotten hurt. Hearing her sobs behind him didn't help his mood. She had tried to do something nice, but was rewarded by him going bonkers. Good show, Severus. You handled that famously.

How could he have lost control so quickly? He had thought he had abandoned such behavior with his resignation from Hogwarts. Granted, he would always have a quick temper, but one of the main reasons he had left the school was because he didn't like what he became around the students. He believed he had left such uncontrolled outbursts behind him at the school.

Did she deserve another chance? He never got a second chance, why should he give her one? Sighing to himself, he realized just how petty that thought sounded. He usually tried to not indulge himself in such drivel. Weighing his options and the pros and cons of each, he finally made a decision.

oooOOOooo

Stalking out of his back door, he left Hermione to herself. She stared after him, wondering why he just didn't throw her out instead of leaving himself. She should just turn around and go. He obviously was through with her. He didn't even glance her way before storming out of his own home.

All she could think of to do now was to go home and cry. Maybe she could take a bubble bath and have a good scream-a-thon in her enormous tub. Some picture perfect life she had! She had everything at her fingertips, yet the one thing she wanted the most was just beyond her grasp. And it was completely and utterly her own fault. She had blown it, and she knew it. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned and started heading for the door. She had her hand on the doorknob when she heard Severus' voice.

"Hermione, wait."

She dared not turn around. What other awful thing was he going to yell at her? She should just throw the door open and make a run for it. That would definitely be the mature thing to do. Hermione grimaced and waited for him to speak again. She heard him come up behind her.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you," he said simply.

Hermione's eyes widened. An apology? But she was the one who needed to apologize to him. She swung back around and faced him. He was holding a flower out to her. Hermione thought she would faint. She stared at the flower as if it was a creature from another planet. It was one of the beautiful black tulips that graced his back yard. He was making a peace offering. At long last, she reached out and took the tulip from his hand. She looked up at him. He seemed calm once again, if not a bit nervous.

"Severus, I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you. I'm the one who betrayed your trust. Can you forgive me?"

"You were just trying to be helpful. I overreacted, as you said."

"I didn't think. I just acted. It's an ongoing battle with me," she admitted, smiling ruefully at him.

"Well, I just lashed out without thinking too, which is an ongoing battle with me," he told her.

Hermione stared at Severus for a while. "Thank you," she said finally. "Thank you for caring enough to be upset."

Severus arched an eyebrow at her. "I was upset because... oh, just forget it," he said in exasperation.

Hermione smelled the tulip he had given her. It had a light, sweet smell. She looked back up at Severus, who had an intense look on his face. She wondered at his thoughts.

"I should go, Severus. I will come back tomorrow. I think we can both use a bit of a break from each other for a little bit."

Severus only nodded. His gaze pierced right through her. She felt a shiver run down her spine and hoped it wasn't evident to him. He seemed not to notice. Hermione smiled at him, turned, and left his cottage. Before Disapparating, she thanked Merlin that she hadn't blown everything and that he had been willing to forgive her and give her another chance. She definitely needed his help with the book, but she needed him for herself ultimately.

Next up: The diary search brings a clue.

As for you, dear readers, thank you so much for your support and comments. This chapter ended on less of a nail biter than the last one. I hope you enjoyed it.