Promises: Broken and Kept.

Chapter 6: Promises: Broken and Kept.

Hermione awoke to see the pale sunlight hitting her soft white duvet and the pine wood of her bedstead. She rolled onto her side, away from the light, in some futile attempt to stop this sun from rising. To stop this day from breaking. To prolong what this day meant.

***

Severus awoke to see the pale sunlight hitting his dark sheets and the oak wood of his bedstead. He rolled onto his side in some futile attempt to stop this sun from rising. To prolong the choice that today he must truly make.

***

In the gaps between their love, between his strengths and weaknesses, between her insecurities and stubbornness, they make a silent promise. A promise that speaks the things that their actions can't demonstrate and that no words can explain. A promise to give themselves to one another, to bind themselves to one another, to move the Heavens, to show the other nothing is impossible, to dream, to hope, to live, love and endure the world. This is their promise.

***

“Hermione, open the door,” Ginny shouted, hammering loudly on Hermione's front door. “I know you're here, just let me up, please!”

Ignoring the good intentions of her friend, Hermione sat on her bed, the feeling of anticipation mixed with guilt and self-loathing festering in her stomach for what she was considering doing. Finally, she rose and went to her front door. Ginny's worry- creased face met her downtrodden stare. A silent exchange of understanding passed between the two friends. They both knew what the elder wanted to do.

***

Severus Snape was a man who kept his word. He could never have lived his life as a double agent for so long had this not been the truth. He had made a promise to Dumbledore, to Lily's memory, and to himself a long time ago. He would dedicate his life to saving Harry Potter. He had never expected to live past that point. Never had his mind wandered through daydreams of idle happiness in days post-Voldemort. Snape had believed that, if it were possible, having a hand in defeating Voldemort would be his last deed. He had approached the shack that night like a man committing suicide, understanding that he would not wake up in the morning, that he would not see another sunrise, and that he would never be loved. The time he had spent with Hermione felt like time stolen, precious hours of happiness he didn't believe he deserved. They had been his chance for a new life, and like the fool he knew he was, he had let them go.

Severus Snape had made other promises. He had asked a woman to marry him. He had given her a ring and in that moment made a commitment to her that he knew not how to break.

But Severus Snape also knew the silent promises that had gone between himself and Hermione. Severus Snape had two doors open to him. Each one broke his word, and each kept it.

Severus Snape had a promise to keep.

***

Cecilia stood in front of an ornate, gold-framed mirror, contemplating her reflection. Her long, white silk gown flowed over her small, slender frame like a waterfall. It sat tightly around her torso and then fell lavishly to the floor, where it pooled in an extravagant train. She gazed at herself pensively, but with arrogant eyes. Her hair had been pulled to an elegant knot towards the back of her head, exposing her long, slender neck. Her dress and adorned jewels were perfect. She was ready.

Cecilia turned to the small room around her, to the table on which her beautiful bouquet of white roses sat. She could hear the guests gathering in the church that this room led to. She could hear the jubilant chatter of her friends and family. She felt a flare of excitement and anticipation in the pit of her stomach. She ran a hand over her dress nervously. There was a knock on the door.

***

Hermione sat on her bed for a long time with Ginny staring at her.

“Hermione,” Ginny began. “You know this isn't the way. What are you going to do, run down the aisle screaming 'NO'?”

There was a sense of desperate pleading in her voice.

“I can't let him marry her, Ginny.” Hermione's voice seemed to contain some of the fire she had once been so full of, but that had disappeared after Severus. “I should have fought harder, I shouldn't have let it get this far. If I don't do something, I'll never be able to live with myself.” Her eyes fell to the floor.

“Hermione,” whispered Ginny's petrified voice, “it's too late, you wouldn't even get there in time.”

“I have to try,” Hermione said desperately, rushing out of the room.

***

“Severus, what are you doing? You’re not supposed to see me before the wedding!” exclaimed Cecilia, when she had opened the door to reveal Severus, standing there in his wedding suit, his bow tie loose around his neck. There was a sense of panic in her voice, no doubt induced by the decided look upon Severus's face.

“Cecilia...” he began hesitantly.

***

One night, before he leaves, he falls asleep. Hermione lies awake next to him wondering if this will be the only time she will be the one awake, contemplating.

She remembers the broken person she was after the war and compares it to how alive she feels now.

She's never felt like this, like the person lying next to her is her reason for living. She knows she doesn't appreciate it enough, and that she should work harder to allow him to fully open up. But the truth is, she's scared. What would happen if he left her? In that moment, she could never have imagined how much losing him would destroy her.

You really never do know how much you need something until it’s gone.

***

A murmur ran amongst the waiting wedding crowd, anticipation mixed with something else. Something new. Something was out of place. They had been waiting for far too long...

***

Hermione left her house that day with unsure intent. An intent that somehow, some way, tomorrow would be better than today, that tonight she would not cry herself to sleep. Somehow, some way, today it would end.

***

Cecilia listened to him, unusually silent. She let the words rush over her as he told her the truth, the things she knew he'd kept inside. She sat down with a loud thud, one that seemed too loud for her slight frame, and as she looked up at his agonized face, she saw the pleading in his eyes. She met them and silently let him go.

***

The sun hit Hermione's messy hair as she ran towards the church, the breath catching in her chest and a stitch beginning in her side. She was almost blinded by her sweat and tears. The heat was beating down on her like a spot light, and her feet were slipping slightly on the cobbled streets of London. She rounded a corner at immense speed, leaning at a dangerous angle and almost losing her balance. Suddenly, so quickly she thought she might be hallucinating, a figure appeared before her.

***

Severus turned from his never to be bride with a strange, strangled emotion in his chest. Joy? Regret? Fear? He walked slowly down the church aisle. The guests noticed he was going the wrong way. The murmur became more pronounced, and then it was less of a murmur, more of a chorus of questions and outrage. He pushed open the heavy doors and was met by a sun that shone with such radiance, he needed no other assurance that what he was doing was right. He let out a broad laugh. He felt like he had left all of his anger and hate, and his jealousy and grief, behind him as the heavy doors closed. He ran. He ran until suddenly, something far too perfect faced him. Only two hundred yards stood between them.

***

They run towards each other then, after each has taken a moment to silently agree that there will be no more pretending, no more secrets, and no more quashed emotions. They fall into each other’s embrace with passionate longing. His hands pull her face to his with a love no man has ever had for a woman before. Or so it seems to the happy couple. He pulls her away slightly to see new tears upon her cheeks, tears of joy. He speaks softly.

“I'm here, and I'm sorry. I'm changed, and I'm asking you to love me.”

She gazes at the floor for a moment then she looks back to his eyes.

“I am yours.”

-End-

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AN:This fanfic has been over a year in the making. In that time I have moved houses, sat my A-levels and am off to uni in three weeks. A lot can happen in a year.

When I first started this fic, this was not the way I pictured it ending. It was going to be very tragic and heartbreaking. The happy ending has a lot to do with the influence of my most recent beta, Neelix. Her help on the last two chapters and previous reviews and support of the fic have really meant a lot. I have a lot of betas to thank, and my gratitude goes out to each one of them. The idea behind this fic was a very personal one to me; after a relationship that re-builds you ends, how do you go on? My ex-boyfriend helped me recover from depression and in turn helped me become the strong person I am today. He then left me. During writing this chapter, I learned that he and his fiancée are now expecting his first child. So in the end Hermione got the happy ending I haven't yet. The Harry Potter community means a lot to me, and putting out my writing like this has been an awesome experience. I apologise for the confusing time loops and for killing my betas with the constant change in tense. I promise that the next one will be more straightforward! Thank you very much for reading.

P.S. If anyone one wants either an Epilogue or how the final chapter could have ended, let me know and I'll post.