Beast or Nobleman

WARNING: This story is labeled Humor, Drama and Angst. The drama and angst are introduced in this chapter. There has also been a rape/abuse warning associated with this story and this chapter is the reason why. As a result, this chapter may be disturbing to those readers who are sensitive to rape stories; disturbing to those who want this story to remain fluffy; and disturbing to those who want Severus to be a sweet guy. No flames please as I have warned you.

Having been a Death Eater and a double agent, Severus felt that there was nothing in this world that could shock him. Well, there was that one time that a very tipsy Dumbledore had recounted a racy and lewd fantasy concerning himself, McGonagall, Fawkes and a transfigured bowling ball. That tale would've been enough to gross out even the late Dark Lord. Not to mention that Severus hadn't even been able to look at the headmaster for days. Yes, headmaster indeed. That racy account had given new meaning to his title.

And yet, he was astonished when Hermione and Remus invited him back to Remus' chambers for a nightcap. He hadn't needed to use Legilimency to know that there was more behind that invitation than just social drinking. No, they had been inviting him for a different kind of socializing, and he hadn't known that Remus was into that sort of thing, or that he was even willing to share his first evening with Hermione.

As for Hermione, it seemed like nothing she did anymore was going to surprise him. She was an enigma, a free spirit, and reminded him nothing of the Insufferable-Know-It-All he knew ten years ago. Well, she was still insufferable, and still a-know-it-all; add in a touch of 'pain in his arse', and you had a grown up, sexy version of the once-teenaged bane of his existence.

Severus couldn't immediately accept their invitation – it would show he was too eager, too interested. But upon returning to his chambers, he was concerned about a number of things. If he accepted, and IT did not work, he would place himself in a position to expose his dysfunction to not only Hermione, but also to Remus. If IT did work, he had no desire to entertain Remus, but every desire to take Hermione. He would have to share, and that had never been a part of his vocabulary. But if he chose not to participate, he would never know if Hermione and Remus had sex, and if they did, his cover would be blown. No, it was clear that he would have to attend.

Before leaving his chambers, Severus decided that a little preparation was in order. He bathed. Really bathed and washed his hair. During the past week, he'd washed his hair every day he would see Hermione. He'd washed it on Friday, the day of the Halloween ball; on Saturday before his meeting with Hermione; on Monday prior to their first session; and now, just before heading out to Remus' chambers. What was she doing to him? His usual monthly wash was always enough for him, and now, just because of this little chit, he'd taken to being something that he was not.

Severus felt that he was a man who really knew himself. He knew his Slytherin tactics like the back of his hand, he knew the rules of engagement, and he stayed true to himself regardless of what people expected or wanted him to be. He was cantankerous and he was okay with that. So why now, within the span of a week, had he been behaving different than himself?

It had to be that his mind had become befuddled due to IT's lack of performance and lack of consistency. He was weakened, and as a result he was compromised. Had this been a real engagement, his plan of attack would've been thwarted, and he would've had to call in for reinforcements. On the battlefield, that would work, but in his life, he was his one-man army, efficient and clever as ever, but still, only one man.

Severus had experienced many interesting evenings in his life, considering his involvement in dark revels, not to mention experiencing the chaos that was the Weasleys during evening meetings at Order Headquarters. But tonight was curious. Conversation had gone fairly smoothly, and he was pleased that he didn't need to overly participate. He planted a few questions here and there and allowed Hermione and Remus to move the conversation along. While they discussed, Severus examined the situation before him. The atmosphere had relaxed significantly since the awkward beginning when Remus had embarrassed Hermione. While Severus enjoyed Remus' observation of Hermione's sexual excitement, he was concerned that she would run off, as she was obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable with the situation. Well, then why did the chit invite him over? After Hermione's comment on not turning down a bite, Severus decided that he would be the one to take her, fuck Remus. He would do what he had to do and take all opportunities presented to him; either take them, or create them. He would determine which as the evening progressed.

As the evening went on, Severus decided that he was cured! He didn't know how she did it, but IT was responding! He and Remus had moved to sit on opposite sides of Hermione while they talked and drank their several nightcaps. Feeling her sitting next to him was quite stimulating, and as he began taking liberties with his caresses, she was responding and leaning into his touch. Whether it was Hermione herself, or that in combination with knowing that he would take her in front of Remus, IT was responding, and Severus' plan of attack had begun to formulate. Severus decided that he would take Hermione, take her in front of Remus while ensuring that the werewolf did not participate. Severus does not share. He would put a full Body-Bind on Remus and prop him up in a corner of the room to watch as Severus took Hermione. Yes, that was a splendid plan.

Alas, Remus proved once again that he was a sheep in werewolf's clothing. Just when things were getting interesting, the wolf tucked his tail between his legs and chickened out. Severus would never have displayed such weakness. While he also had no desire to participate in a threesome, he would never have backed down. No, he would have overpowered the wolf and taken his mate. Remus was such a coward.

~*~

"Hermione," Severus said, "here is your tea. I hope you like it; it's chamomile, the properties of which I'm sure you know very well. What do you think of it?"

"Um, it's just delightful, thank you." Hermione took another sip and detected other flavors in addition to chamomile. "Severus, what is the base ingredient? I taste something quite smooth and fragrant."

"This is my personal blend, chamomile and lavender, that I enjoy drinking in the evenings when I'm in need of some relaxation after a busy day of dealing with dunderheads."

"Why, Severus, are you comparing Remus and I to dunderheads?"

"No, Hermione, I'm thinking solely of you and comparing Remus and I to dunderheads."

"Why?"

"Well, because Remus and I almost took advantage of you. Do you understand? Both of us," Severus allowed a moment to pass for this realization to sink in with Hermione and continued, "and if Remus had not had the foresight to end it, we would have both taken you."

"Yes, that was where it was heading, wasn't it?"

Severus couldn't keep his eyes off of Hermione. His gaze went from her eyes to her lips and further south to her cleavage. At her confession to the direction in which the evening had been progressing, he scooted closer to her, gently plucked her teacup from her hands, and placed it on the coffee table in front of them.

"Yes," Severus whispered in her ear, agreeing with her estimation. He leaned closer and restrained himself from jutting out his tongue and tasting the curves of her ear. "And I was an only child, Miss Granger, I do not share well."

Placing his hands on either side of her head, he kissed her fiercely, almost bruising her lips. He pulled back and looked into her hooded eyes, filled with both the effects of booze and lust. It was time to quit the bullshite and get back on target.

"Hermione, do you realize why you are here with me?"

"Yes, Remus decided he didn't want to have a threesome."

"But why not ask me to leave? You were, after all, his date tonight, not mine."

"Yes, well, I'm not sure. I guess..."

"Hermione," Severus cut her off, "don't you see? It's because he couldn't have sex with you. He wanted to, but he couldn't!" Severus leaned back into his chair, looked Hermione straight in the eyes and with his distinct brand of smugness, he added, "He took your test, Hermione, and failed; he is a weak and broken man."

Severus sat back to watch her reaction to his statement. He needed to reinforce his lie to her and, luckily for Severus, Remus had made it quite easy.

"How dare you speak of him like that?" Hermione screamed. "Severus, I am on to you! Remus is a nice man! A nice man! And you are nothing but foul and evil. Remus desired me and I felt his erection. When he took me to his bedroom, it took all of our restraint not to bed each other. I felt him, he was ready for me!"

Hermione continued to be full of surprises. Severus had not anticipated her strong reaction to his benign statements.

"You are the real patient, Severus! I know you are! It is not Remus; he is a Gryffindor! He is brave, honest and true, and he would admit if he were impotent! There is nothing wrong with that, Severus, nothing! But when you develop it, you act like an evil monster has invaded your body, and you go into self-preservation mode trying to cover it all up! IT IS NORMAL, SNAPE! NORMAL!"

"Madam, I assure you that ... "

"Don't give me any of your shite again, Snape! I don't want to hear any more of your lies!"

Severus noticed Hermione beginning to hyperventilate. She crossed the room to continue her onslaught after he had retreated from the couch to get away from the screaming beast.

"You are foul; you are evil! You are an evil little cockroach not worthy of my attention, Snape! I wouldn't cure you if you were the last wizard on earth, and I was the last witch! I wouldn't care for you to have the ability to propagate this earth with more slimy Slytherin creatures, let alone return to you the ability to enjoy sex! I hope your dick rots in Hades, Snape! I hope it rots from lack of use and lack of pussy!"

Severus was no longer amused. No, he would teach this bitch not to be insolent and obnoxious. Who the fuck did she think she was to scream at him? He was Severus Snape, the head of Slytherin House, Potions master extraordinaire, a double agent who had risked his life for the last twenty years! He'd defeated the Dark Lord! He had! Not the Potter brat and not anyone else! He deserved respect! He deserved reverence!

Without saying a word, Severus slapped her across her face, and in the moment between shock and action, Severus picked her up and brought her to his bed. He threw her onto the middle of the bed and was upon her before she could fathom what was going to happen. Lifting up her skirt and pinning her down with his body, he reached underneath for her panties and ripped them off. Severus was not himself anymore. He had not felt this rush of lust and violence since his early days with the Dark Lord. He had not raped anyone in a long while, but he was on a roll. His anger was extreme and he was running on instinct.

Severus reached for his wand and used a Binding Charm and bound her hands and feet to the bed, keeping her open for him. She began screaming, and he placed a Silencing Charm on the room as well so that her screams could not escape the room. Though, the noise she was making was beginning to bother him.

He kneeled in between her stretched out legs, ready to forcibly take her. With his flaccid penis in his hand he placed it at her entrance and stopped. He looked up at her face; her screaming obscenities at him didn't bother him as much as seeing the pain and the pleading in her eyes. Severus immediately backed off, tucked his limp member away, leaned back on his heels, brought his two hands to his face, and cried. He cried for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality, Severus knew it was only a few moments. He instantly cast the spell to release Hermione from her binds, and as she retreated to the headboard, she quickly covered her exposed flesh with her dress.

"How dare you?" She was whispering after having lost her voice to the exertion she put it through while screaming at him for the past five minutes.

Five minutes, that's all it really had been since he was with her in the living room. Five minutes between being a normal man and being an animal. That's what he had been when he was young and stupid. He'd enjoyed raping and torturing along with the rest of the Death Eaters. That had been so long ago.... It was another time, another place, as if the experiences he recalled belonged to another person. But tonight, he'd learned that the animal lay within, dormant no longer. God was indeed cruel. He had thought his past was just that. The Dark Lord was dead! But the beast remained within him. He had believed Dumbledore when he'd told him that he was honest, true and trustworthy. He'd even begun to believe the lie himself. But tonight the fates had chosen to teach Severus Snape a lesson he had long forgotten.

He was, and would ever remain, an animal.

And with that realization, Severus knew that he could not move on with his life with this animal exposed. While he would not forget, should not forget, he needed Hermione to forget.

Severus moved toward Hermione and tried to gently grab her face despite her fighting him. He was able to keep her head level, and he quickly delved into her mind through Legilimency. Finding the horrific memories easily, he cast an Obliviate charm and removed them.

He then cast a Stupefying charm to ensure that he had time to create his story. He levitated her and returned the bed to its previously tidy shape. He moved Hermione back to the lounge and placed her on the couch. After reversing the Stupefy spell with 'Ennervate', he sat down, waiting for her to come to.

That was it. It was done.

Severus did not want to be in the room alone with Hermione when she came to. He was nervous, though he would've been hard pressed to admit it, had he realized it for what it was. He hadn't done anything to anyone in a very long time. Now, he had gone and let the beast loose on someone that he cared about.

Yes, he apparently cared about the chit. Had he not, he surely would've taken her, regardless of how he'd felt. He reached out to her, smoothed down her face, and then, just as he was going to walk toward the Floo to get Remus, he remembered that he had ripped off Hermione's panties. Severus ran toward his bedroom chambers, found the garment, repaired it, and then, running back toward the lounge, he saw Hermione stirring. She was not fully conscious yet, but he couldn't chance it. He placed another Stupefy charm on her and lifted her dress and with much difficulty, replaced the item on her body.

He was miserable. Here he was with a woman that he had been playing cat and mouse with, and he'd never expected things to get this far. All he'd wanted to do was get IT working and to possibly be able to get the girl too. Wasn't that what every man wanted? He looked at Hermione and reached out to bring her dress down over her panties. In his despair, he let his head fall onto her pubic bone, and he cried. He could smell the evidence of her arousal earlier that evening, and he felt anguish at what he had done to her. He wanted her the right way, and although he had erased her memory, he had to live with himself now. He'd thought he had gotten rid of this monster.

He had a decision to make. Would he embrace the monster or rebuke it? Could he even turn his back to this beast? He looked down toward Hermione, and she looked so peaceful, so beautiful. He then noticed that the side of her face was bruised from when he'd slapped her and, removing his wand, he began the magic to heal her face. He cast 'Ennervate' on Hermione again and looked around his chambers for any lasting evidence of what had transpired. He knew exactly what memories he'd erased from her. With his extensive double agent experience, Severus went about the chambers fixing things like they'd been before this ugly mess. He filled her tea cup full as if she hadn't drank any, and thankfully the tea in the pot was now cool to signify the passing of time that he would not try to cover up. He returned from his bedroom chambers, and with one final look, went to the Floo and contacted Remus.

"Remus, Remus!"

Remus came out of his bedroom, dressed only in boxer shorts, and said, "Severus? What's going on? Is Hermione all right?"

"Remus, Hermione has passed out and I would like you to be here when she awakens. Please pass through."

Remus arrived within seconds at Severus' chambers, having only spent enough time in his rooms to find his robe and place it over his body.

"Severus? Why, she looks so peaceful, like she's just sleeping."

"I haven't tried to wake her, but I did perform a medical diagnostic charm on her, and she's only passed out. I have not attempted to wake her. But I think that she may not appreciate waking up in my chambers, so I've asked you here to help me see her awake."

"Sure, but, Severus, what happened?" Remus asked, quite confused.

"We arrived at my chambers so that she could Floo to her flat from here." Severus noticed the look Remus gave him, and he raised his hand for Remus to allow him to continue. "About a week ago, I opened up my Floo to allow Hermione access to and from her flat. Well, once we got here, I asked her if she wanted tea, and she agreed. I prepared the tea and returned to find her like that," Severus said while pointing to Hermione's sleeping form.

"Severus, if you've opened up your Floo to allow Hermione access, then surely your relationship with her is such that if she woke up in your chambers, she would not be alarmed."

"Remus, I refuse to discuss my personal life with you! Suffice it to say that had that been the case, I would never have asked you here! Now if you would prefer not to be here, I can easily contact the headmistress..."

"No, Severus, I care for her, and I'm not bothered in the slightest, and I am actually grateful that you've contacted me."

"Yes, I'm sure. You and Hermione were quite close tonight. I would imagine that had it not been for my presence, you and she would've enjoyed one another tonight."

"Severus, I asked her to leave with you because what was about to happen was not to my taste. Had I only been interested in Hermione in that way, I would've sent you away, and not her."

"Just what are your intentions, Remus?"

"My intentions? Oh, my, what are you? Her father? My intentions are none of your business! And what are yours, Severus? You've opened up your Floo to her for a week now, you say? And why?"

Hermione began to stir. Both men forgot their arguments and turned their attention toward their sleeping beauty.

"Hermione? Hermione, wake up."

Hermione woke up to the sound of a man calling her name again and again. She regained consciousness and found herself lying on someone's bed with Remus and Severus on either side.

"What happened? Severus?" Hermione asked while looking at the two men.

Severus replied, "You passed out."

"I... I passed out? Whose bed am I on?"

"Hermione, you are on my couch in the lounge," Severus said. "I went to fetch us some tea, and upon my return, you were asleep. I merely allowed you to sleep for a little while, but then decided that you would be happier in your own flat, and I summoned Remus to help me wake you."

"Why would you need help waking me, Severus?"

"Hermione, I did not think that you would feel comfortable waking up in my chambers in the morning. I thought you would feel safer if Remus were here as well."

"Yes, of course."

"Hermione, how are you feeling? Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, Severus, I think I could use some, thank you."

Hermione drank the cold tea until Severus returned with a fresh pot of the same blend. They all drank, and after a while, they laughed at Hermione's falling asleep.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I know that we could've had an..." Hermione paused, looked sheepishly at Remus, and continued, "excellent evening, but I guess I was more tired than I realized. If you don't mind, may I use your loo?"

"Of course. In through the bedroom, to the left."

Both men watched as Hermione walked toward the bathroom to freshen up.

As Remus heard her enter the bathroom, he asked, "Severus, did you and she have sex tonight?"

"If we had, she'd be walking funny." Severus was pleased with his quip.

"Please, Severus, would you for once just drop down your personal wards and answer a question!"

"You are asking me a very personal question that is absolutely none of your business, Remus. No, you know what, I've changed my mind. If I answer your question, you will need to answer one of mine. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Hermione and I did not have sex tonight. We kissed and fondled, and then I went on to make tea, and well, you know the rest. Now it's my turn. If you want Hermione, why did you let her leave with me?"

"That's easy. I'm a decent human being, and I want her to be happy. I happen to know that she desires you, Severus. That is what we were doing tonight. We were talking about her interest in you. That is why she invited you over to my chambers, not because she was interested in bedding the two of us, but because she is interested in you. I just thought that things had gotten out of hand, and she was so drunk that her body was in control instead of her mind, so I made the decision for her, knowing what her intentions were when she was sober."

"You may leave with her, Remus."

"What do you mean? I just told you that she...."

"Remus, I said leave! Take her with you and make love to her! Give her what she needs, and what she desires. She deserves love and friendship in addition to sex. I may be able to give her what she needs, but I don't know if I can give her what she deserves."

"Okay, boys, I'm ready! So, who's going to take me home... Severus?"

"No, Remus will be," Severus said to Hermione, then turned toward Remus and said, "Remus, feel free to use my Floo to take Miss Granger home, and you may return that way as well, if you wish."

"Hermione," Remus asked, "if you don't mind, why don't we Apparate? I could use a walk in the cool night air."

"Okay, Remus, I think I could use some cool air, too. Severus, I'm really sorry about tonight," Hermione said as she walked up to Severus and held him tight about the waist. "I really was hoping to be able to have a different ending to this night."

"Your ending will be as it was meant to be. Your date was with Remus, and he shall see you home. You can still make your evening as enjoyable as it was meant to be, Hermione." Severus gently touched the side of her face, and his lips followed his hand, gently kissing her.

"Good night, Severus, and thank you for the lovely tea. It was Chamomile and something else, what was that? It was wonderful."

"The base has a strong infusion of lavender... I'm glad you like it. I usually make this blend in the evenings when I need to relax after a day filled with dunderheads."

Hermione smiled and said, "Goodnight, Severus."

Severus closed the door after Hermione departed with Remus and quietly said, "Goodnight, Hermione. I'm sorry... I'm so very sorry. I will miss you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Hermione and Remus walked toward the edge of the property in preparation to Apparate, they didn't speak. Hermione held onto Remus and Apparated them both safely, as Remus was not familiar with her flat's location. Once safely in her flat, Hermione maintained her hold onto Remus and began crying. Her arms found their way around his waist, and she realized he was not wearing anything but his boxers underneath his robes.

"Remus?" Hermione asked, forgetting her need to cry. "Why are you only wearing your robe and boxers?"

"When Severus called me over, I didn't think it necessary to get completely dressed. After all, I didn't think that I would be going to London!

"Hermione, why are you crying?"

"I heard it all, Remus! I heard Severus say that you should take me home tonight and make love to me. He has given up on me, and I don't know why!"

"If you heard him, then you also heard that he apparently does not feel worthy of being with you."

"No, I did not hear that. I heard him say that he could give me what I wanted ... I'm assuming he meant sex ... but not what I deserved... love and friendship."

"Yes, Hermione, from Severus, that means the same thing. He does not feel worthy of your love. He does not feel capable of giving you that, for whatever reason. What is clear is that he was thinking of you, not of himself. He wants you happy, and does not believe that he can make you happy."

"I've never asked him for love, or even friendship, for that matter."

"Hermione, look at me. You can get a shag from anyone! Anyone!"

Hermione looked away from him, tears forming in her eyes.

"But you deserve so much more than a shag. You are beautiful, Hermione, inside and out, and believe me, many men would fight tooth and nail to get their talons on you, but would they know the beauty within? The way your eyes shine when you read a book; the way you smile when someone you love is near; the way you laugh, snorting and all, when someone you love makes you laugh.... You are beautiful, Hermione, and I love you, all of you." Remus realized all that he had said, and while not lying, he was concerned that he'd let out too much too soon. Trying to reel himself back in, he continued, "Enough to allow you to lead your own life and make your own decisions."

"Just great, just fucking great! The two men that I care about are both throwing me to the other, and for what? For the good cause? Because little ole' Hermione Granger can't get a man? Let me tell you, Remus Lupin, that I can have any man that I want! Do you know that? I go after Severus, and he nobly hands me to you. You have feelings for me, and you nobly shove me off! I am no one's property, Remus! For Merlin's sake, I'm a doctor, Remus! I'm not a child anymore!"

"Hermione, please, listen to me. I care for you deeply, but if you want Severus, then you have to go after him. Don't change your mind because I happen to have feelings for you."

"So you have feelings for me? A moment ago you said you loved me! Those are very different, Remus! So, which is it?"

"Hermione, it is late, and you have had a difficult night. Please, calm down. I'm here with you because I care. I don't want to see you hurt. By the same token, I want you to be happy. I have always wanted you to be happy. The way I've kept you happy is by staying away. Hermione, look at me, please. I'm a werewolf. Why would I want to inflict my life upon you? Severus does care for you in his own way. I've known him for a long time. He is who he is. And what he said tonight is the closest thing to love that I've ever heard or seen from him. That was a selfless act on his part. He cares for you."

"Yes, enough to let me go. Just like you. What if I don't want to be let go of?" Hermione asked, finally looking up into Remus' eyes, looking for a fight and finding none.

Remus gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and got up to leave. Straightening his robes, he said, "Hermione, I love you. Please go to Severus and do what you intended to do with him. He needs you too." And with that, he Apparated and was gone.

~*~

To say that Hermione was confused was the biggest understatement in the world. It was like saying that Voldemort had been a bad boy.

Thankfully, her first session the next morning was scheduled for 11:00 a.m., and she made good use of the extra hours in the morning. When Remus departed, it had been about 3:00 a.m., and she'd had little sleep the entire night. She tossed and turned, thinking of both Severus and Remus. Part of her wanted to cry and the other part wanted to scream. Why the hell was she attracted to noble men? And when the fuck did Severus get hit by a nobility curse? She'd Avada Kedavra the bastards that had done that to him! She loved the self-serving bastard. She wanted him to take her, all of her, hard and fast. Since seventh year it had been her fantasy. She'd never asked him to develop feelings for her. She'd never asked him for friendship or love. She'd thought she had been fairly clear with him during her obvious flirtation with him at the staff Halloween party last Friday, and then the little bit the next morning. It was just enough to make him think. Then, of course, there was Monday! Nothing in what she'd done had made him think of anything other than sex. She was sure of that.

Either he'd turned noble, or he honestly didn't want her in any way.

No, she had clearly heard what Severus had shared with Remus. He was being noble.

Stupid git.

To Be Continued...

A/N:

I struggled over the path this chapter led our characters, wondering if I should trash it and start again or to just let it be. Believe me, while I know the ending, the path we take to get there is up to my muse and Beast or Nobleman is what I came up with. I know some of you may not be happy with Severus' actions but I need to be true to me, and to what comes out of this brain as I write.

I have added an entry into my blog www.gryffindorknowitall.blogspot.com (June 2006 Archive) detailing my reasons for doing this and delved a little deeper into my understanding of Severus Snape and why I believe what has transpired in this chapter is as much in character as my Snape can be.

Please know that I DO NOT condone rape of any sort. Enough said.

My friend said that after she read this chapter (she gets first dibs) she "hated" Snape. That actually upset me. I don't want people leaving this chapter hating him. If that is what happened, I apologize for not being a good enough writer to get you to where I felt we needed to be for him.

Mucho THANKS to Jackie for the amazing beta work. You really are wonderful!

Mucho THANKS to Warty for the once over. You ROCK!

Mucho THANKS to SiriusWoman for helping me to process what I had written, giving me great ideas, and helped with organizing my thoughts for future chapters.

So, this chapter was angst and not the snorting laughter that I like to inflict on my readers. Hopefully, I can make up for that with a funny and rather decent story in the end.

THANKS to YOU for reading and reviewing. Especially a humungous THANK YOU to all of you who are supporting me during the wonderful life this story is living! YOU ALL ROCK!

~Ruthie