Slytherin Tactics

"IT looks normal," Severus said aloud to himself as he held his penis, made fully erect by his practiced hand.

He was showering after a difficult night of much contemplation and little sleep. Frustrated with IT's lack of performance, he lay in bed thinking of how to manipulate the situation to his satisfaction. His priority at the moment was to get IT working again. Hermione was the only solution he had at present, unless he wanted to bind. And that was one thing Severus knew he would never do. He was forty-six years old and had no plans on being manipulated, controlled, hoodwinked, ramshackled, instructed, commanded, directed, ruled, dominated, swayed, demanded of, or made to obey. He was his own power, his own authority. He was independent and relied on no one.

He was a Slytherin... the Head of Slytherin House, and he would never disregard the Slytherin tactics he agreed to abide by. They were his mantra, his code for living, his philosophy, and his rules of engagement. He was a one-man army, armed to fight the world against complacency, normality, and commonness. His trademark scowl, his domineering attitude, even his clothing down to the color of his socks was significant to him. He was unique. He was his own man. He was a Slytherin!

He was down, but he was not out! Severus knew that he would survive this personal attack. Whether by God's design or by the chance elements of the universe, he was destined to outwit life's cruel turn of events. No, he would have to take control of this situation and develop and carry out his battle plans. After all, Severus felt as if he were in the battle of his life. Granted, not having an erection was definitely not tantamount to a death sentence, but why would he want to live if he could not feel the depths of a woman again?

With his attitude firmly in charge, he successfully completed his ministrations and was pleased with the outcome. 'So, IT isn't dead after all,' a satisfied Severus reflected. It seemed the damned thing was unpredictable to say the least, even by his own hand. He was relieved nonetheless to be able to find release after a frustrating two weeks, memories of which were best left to the breath of a Hungarian Horntail than to the safe confines of a Pensieve.

The night before, Severus had returned to his chambers and been rather pleased with himself for deceiving the sensuous wench. He thought he'd done a rather good job at making her believe he was attached to another witch. It had been a little tricky convincing her of that while also leaving the door open for a possible future encounter. But he was certain of his victory.

Regardless of his certainty, one thing he knew for sure, though, was that his head was pounding--surely due in part to last night's overindulgence--but he also knew that it was due to the stress and frustration that had been building up in his system and was never released... well, at least until this morning, thank God! And even then, he would prefer to experience relief while enjoying the body of a sensuous woman than by his hand. But relief was relief and as it stood, or didn't, in his case, he would take it any way he could get it... by a woman, his hand, and even by the aptly named blast of a Blast-Ended Skrewt to bring IT to life.

Bath towel firmly in place and wrapped around his waist, Severus went to his lab, just off of his chambers, to work on creating the Hangover Potion he was so desperately in need of. It wasn't a difficult potion to make, but it was a bit tedious, as it needed to be consumed fresh. This wasn't a potion that he could make vats of and store for later use. If that were the case, he would gladly be a drunk.

He felt masculine and virile. 'Nothing like an orgasm to start the day off right.' As Severus maneuvered around the lab creating his potion, his heightened senses were aware of the sensuous feel of the now damp towel wrapped around his body and the sexual stimulation he experienced as his movements caused the towel to brush against his flesh.

'This is the way a Snape should feel.'

Not emasculated, weakened and powerless. That was not a position he liked to be in, and he would do anything and everything in his power to make sure that it didn't happen again. He was a Snape and a Slytherin! He would maintain his independence and his bachelorhood and not bind just to fix this problem. No, he would make sure that Hermione would do whatever it was that she now does to help him REGAIN CONTROL OF HIS SEX LIFE. But without her knowing that it was he who needed this treatment. He wasn't foolish after all.

'That wench really has a flair for fitting slogans,' he thought as he completed his potion and left it to cool while he went to his chambers to dress.

He had meant to go to the Great Hall for breakfast, but with waking up late and having a headache the size of Hagrid's arse, he decided that staying in and creating a Headache Potion would be the best way to use his time. He only hoped that he would be ready in time to meet with Hermione immediately following breakfast.

~*~

Severus became aware that even rushing to dress, he would not make it in time to the Great Hall for breakfast. Bewildered by his continued misfortune, Severus resigned himself to missing his appointment with Hermione and began to contemplate how he would find her, as she was probably on her way back to London. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his chamber door.

Relief flooded his body and his regulatory system went haywire as he felt simultaneously hot and cool. 'Strange feeling, really,' Severus thought to himself as he welcomed Hermione into his chambers. 'Really heady feeling....'

'Um, heady... I could use more heady.' Severus' salacious thoughts were interrupted by Hermione asking something about going somewhere else to talk. 'Wench is mad if she thinks I would discuss anything of this nature out of the confines of my well-warded walls.'

Quick thinking as he was, Severus put his Slytherin tactics into action and, using the illusion of honesty and sincerity, he welcomed her into his chambers and indicated in his best possible heartfelt voice, which was seldom used, that he was pleased she was there.

And, in his own way, he was pleased that she was there. But it was best to plan his movements tactically.

Severus was sure that she was engaging in her own brand of tactical maneuvers, with her chosen style of dress revealing her bosom for the all the world to see. Gryffindor tactics... sounded like an oxymoron. Honesty and tomfoolery bravery didn't have anything to do with strategy and manipulation.

'This is going to be so easy.' Severus was pleased with the task at hand and his success was on the horizon. 'She has no idea how to play this game.'

While engaging in some ridiculous and petty conversation about Muggle medication with a witch who had apparently forgotten that she was a witch, and ogling her cleavage as she surely intended him to, Severus noticed something on her bosom that was oddly similar in color to her skin tone, but whose shape seemed out of place to their distinct roundness.

Attempting to keep up with their conversation, yet fascinated by this mysterious discovery, he handed her a dose of the Hangover Potion. He prided himself on catching her in her vain attempts to use her measly Gryffindor tactics on him. She was so obvious it was almost pitiful. Her statement about making potions designed to increase sexual pleasure and stimulation...

'What the hell is she going to do with lubricants for a headache?' Severus boasted, realizing her poor attempts to get him sidetracked. 'Is she going to rub herself to climax every time she has a headache?'

Severus was interrupted by Hermione as he was lost in thought, sidetracked, if you will, imagining the chit masturbating. 'The bitch won't get me again!'

Unable to concentrate on anything but the mysterious object on her bosom, Severus decided that a closer inspection was in order. After retrieving the glass that held her dose of the Hangover Potion, he returned, handing her a cup of tea, and took the opportunity to investigate the mysterious object on her chest.

'Could it be a mole, an off-centered nipple... or possibly the Dark Lord is alive and living in Hermione's bosom? Well, it's got to be more comfortable than taking residence in someone's head.' After closer inspection, Severus realized that Hermione had a rather large piece of scrambled egg on her chest.

'Maybe she's saving it for later.'

Not caring for this unappetizing addition to her otherwise luscious breasts, Severus decided that he could no longer stare at her bosom, as he was concentrating on the egg instead of the roundness it rested between.

"Hermione," Severus said bravely, "you have some breakfast on your chest."

Severus was surprised when Hermione didn't respond by removing the offending item, as she seemed lost in thought. Not knowing what to do now or what to say, Severus chose to speak directly to her bosom. "Well, sorry, breasts, but it seems like you're destined to double as Hermione's plate."

The damned egg held his attention, and he was unable to concentrate on anything. Deciding to give it one more try, he cleared his throat so as to ensure his next statement was heard and understood.

"Hermione, as uncomfortable as this makes me..."

This raving lunatic, who just moments before was a normal, yet distracted Hermione, cut him off. 'What the hell? She seems adamant for the egg to remain nestled in her bosom... maybe she's into culinary sex?' Severus asked himself, not even fully understanding what the hell he meant by that.

Then Hermione graciously brought light to the otherwise darkened and confused game she was playing.

'Ah, yes, so that's it. Hermione was preoccupied with memories of us last night. Yes, she wants me. She wants this body. She wants IT.' Severus was in his element. This was more like it. Hermione had exposed herself and now lay bare before him, so to speak.

"Madam," Severus said in his practiced sultry tones, "apparently I know what your mind is on." He had caught her in her meager attempts to beat him at a game she was poorly matched for, and he was absolutely pleased with himself!

~*~

Although Severus was enjoying having the upper hand with Hermione, he was eager for her to do her thing and fix his problem. Utilizing stealth and deceit as part of his Slytherin tactics, he introduced the situation to her as emotionlessly and uninterested as he could. To his dismay, she got up to leave after expressing her interest in helping his friend. She was leaving him very little wiggle room to maneuver. It was time to change tactics, get her to stay, and finally convince her to give him the treatment.

Hermione began talking about Muggle medication for this condition, and he was quite intrigued until she mentioned side effects--something about death and her not recommending it. If he were going to end up dead as a result of his condition, Severus would be damned if his death would not come by his own hands, even if he ended up strangling IT. There was no way he would use Muggle medication, as apparently their side effects were anything but benign. Asinine Muggles.

Hermione was definitely full of surprises. Next, she almost left again. 'It's like she's desperate to leave and get away from me,' Severus thought, and was astonished by a quick, yet all too discomforting, pang of jealousy, wondering who she was in such a rush to see.

He would need to be more direct with her to get her to stay with him. He boldly recommended that in order to help his friend, the only course of action seemed to be for her to give him the treatment, and he would pass it along to his friend. She didn't seem to like that idea either, and he was quickly running out of tactical options.

The next Hermione Surprise Special came in the form of her accusing him of being a homosexual! How dare that chit... that wench think anything of the sort. Severus was outraged! He took the defensive attack position and began explaining to the wench exactly what it was that he loved about women; in varying detail he outlined his preferences and his delights. Before he could stop himself, he was denouncing her ability to do her job accurately, and as the words were coming out of his mouth, he was anxious that she would walk away and leave him with IT as unpredictable as ever.

Now it was time for Severus to pull out the big guns and employ his most severe Slytherin tactic. He continued his deceit, but this time feigned the virtues of honesty, compassion, and human kindness.

"Hermione, I apologize for my attack on your profession. But please, Hermione, I want to try anything to help," Severus placed extra care to make sure the next part came out with deliberate ease, "...Remus. Oh, I'm sorry, I never should've said his name." Hanging his head low, he felt, added to the general effect. "He has misplaced his trust in me, and I will never feel worthy of his confidence again."

She just stared at him, and he was sure that he nailed his performance! He could tell that she was just taken aback by his sincerity and his eagerness to help his fellow man. This was going to work! He solidified it with one final plea, and she was like putty in his hands.

After some brief discussions of payment and his ensuring that all sessions took place in his well-warded chambers, he was ready for some fixing! But the wench pulled a Surprise Special again. While conceding to his many demands, she was adamant that she needed to leave and the sessions could not begin immediately. Again, Severus wondered whom Hermione was running off to meet. She claimed that she anticipated having many owled messages waiting for her. Severus didn't buy that lame excuse for one minute. She was escaping. There was no other way to describe it. She was definitely taken by his charms, that much was clear. During their discussion, it had also been clear that she had been daydreaming of their brief encounter the night before. She wanted him; he could feel it. But nothing he could think of, other than another wizard, could explain why she was so eager to leave.

After Hermione left via his Floo, Severus contemplated his next plan of attack. While not necessary, as he had already fooled her into giving him the treatment in order to assist his friend, he felt a new challenge coming over the horizon. He would get IT working again and have her. He would make sure that she would fall head over heels for him and leave this wizard who apparently held her attentions.

"Yes," Severus said aloud to no one, "I will make sure that by the end of every session, I have her drooling for me. She will not want to leave to go to him."

Unbeknownst to him, Hermione was planning her own offensive maneuvers.

To Be Continued...

A/N:

As always a humungous THANK YOU to Jackie, my first beta, and to the Mighty Wartcap for the re-beta!

No harm was meant to the poor scrambled egg. And my apologies for calling it "the offending item."

"Headache the size of Hagrid's arse." - HOW I LOVE THAT! Sorry, I'm my only source of entertainment sometimes.

Slytherin tactics were modified by Niccolo Machiavelli 's The Prince.