Hope for Snape

Disclaimer: The usual "not mine, no money" goes here. You know the drill.

AN: And a great big thank you to my betas, JENGEORGE and NervousAboutAngels, for keeping me straight. I must also thank Sempra for her flawless taming of my errant comma usage and the occasional grammar mistake that my betas miss.

Chapter 24

Hope for Snape

Hermione watched her front door close as Professor Snape's invisible hand pushed it shut. One lone tear meandered down her cheek as his final words rang in her ears: "I'm not worth it, and I never will be." Was he really not worth her time or trouble? Although she knew the key highlights, the details of his life remained a mystery. For all the time they had spent together over the years, she really didn't know him that well. The largest percentage of that time had been in his tyrannically run classroom. And he had admitted tonight that the ugly words he had aimed at her back then were indeed spoken with malice, a realization that cut her to the quick.

But she continued to argue internally on his behalf. Their classroom time had occurred over twenty years ago. They had both grown and matured emotionally and mellowed considerably since then. Her stubborn streak had softened, and she more easily conceded an argument. And his words and actions had obviously become more kind and considerate. She thought about his reaction to her head-strong daughter's rude comments tonight and came to the conclusion that Professor Snape had let Rose off lightly. If the Professor Snape of old had been present to react to Rose's harsh insults, she would have been driven from the room in tears at the first sign of insolence, and he would have stormed out the door, probably reducing it to splinters in the process. Snape wouldn't be "Snape" if he was actually nice, but he had certainly evolved into a much nicer person than he used to be.

Perhaps Professor Snape's own assessment of his character was based on the few but very costly mistakes he had made in his youth that forever scarred his soul and tarnished his reputation: the verbal insult of Lily's heritage, joining the Death Eaters, and informing Voldemort of the prophecy that would later cost Lily and James their lives. But, like the teenage drunk driver who had killed Hermione's parents and walked away without any physical scars, Snape bore scars of a different type. The young man had done his six months for manslaughter and then gone on a crusade to lecture and educate young drivers of the perils of drunk driving. He had become the poster child of what not to do and what could happen if you did the wrong thing anyway. And although Professor Snape's repentance and crusade had been of a much more secret nature, he had risked his life every day and had been slapped in the face by the wizarding world for his trouble. After everything he had been through, it was no wonder he had such a low opinion of himself.

Hermione decided then that he was indeed worth loving.

Now came the hard part. Now she had to convince him.

*****

"Winky!" Snape called out as he let himself into the front door.

With a pop, the tiny elf appeared at his side. "Winky is at Master's service, sir," she announced with a low bow.

Snape chuckled. "Winky, how many times have I told you that it is not necessary to bow in my presence?"

"One thousand two hundred and seventy-three times, sir, counting this time."

Snape smirked. "Let's not make it one thousand two hundred and seventy-four, shall we?"

Winky giggled. "No, sir."

"Did you enjoy yourself with Tolky tonight?"

"Why yes, sir. Lucius Malfoy gave Tolky so many chores that Winky had to help him finish."

"You two got no free time whatsoever?"

"No, sir. That's what made it fun, sir. We house-elves love to do chores, sir."

Snape shook his head in bewilderment. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all it took to make me happy was to keep busy with chores. He gave Winky a forlorn look, which she picked up on immediately.

"Did Master not enjoy dinner at Miss Granger's house?"

"Oh, dinner was decent, although her cooking doesn't hold a candle to yours. But things went a bit awry when I let slip a small insult against the children's father. I'm afraid that Rose didn't take kindly to my comment, and we had a bit of a row."

Winky's tennis-ball eyes narrowed as she stared at him intently. "But that is not what is really bothering Master Severus, is it, sir?" It was more of an accusation than a question.

Snape made his way over to the padded arm-chair by the fire and fell into it with a thud. He gazed sadly into Winky's green orbs. "No, it's not." There was a long silence while Winky went to fetch him a glass of firewhisky. He gladly accepted the glass when she returned, and he directed her towards the couch. She sat dutifully and waited for him to speak.

Over the past twenty years, Winky had not only taken care of the house and the cooking and the laundry, she had become Snape's friend. He could tell her anything and knew that she would rather die than to reveal even a morsel of their conversations. She knew his darkest secrets, his worst fears; she could see into his soul. She probably knew him better than any other living creature on the planet, and he knew that she would be honest with him if he asked her a question.

"Winky..."

She could see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear of what her answer might be. She smiled reassuringly.

"... I know that I am a brilliant Potions master and a great spy. I am unsurpassed in Legilimency and Occlumency, but what do you think of me as... a person?"

"Oh, Master Severus is a great wizard, to be sure!"

"Yes, yes, I'll concede that I am a very powerful and talented wizard." He rolled his eyes in an attempt to play down that statement. "But that is not the question. All of my magical talents aside, what do you think of me?" He clutched at his heart as he asked the question.

Winky finally understood. "What is in Master's heart?"

"Yes," he whispered with a nod.

Winky thought long and hard about her answer and chose her words very carefully as she spoke. "Winky watched closely as Master performed headmaster duties at Hogwarts for He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named. Never once did Winky see Master harm a student or order a student harmed. In fact, Master prevented such things on many occasions. Master even helped Harry Potter several times. These actions and decisions could have cost Master his life if found out, but he did them anyway. This showed Winky Master's brave heart.

"Winky has watched Master Severus treat the Muggle neighbors with kindness and respect, especially for the young man that helped with Master's first computer. Most wizards look down their noses at Muggles and treat them like dirt. But not Master Severus. This showed Winky that Master's heart is of good character.

"Winky has watched Master come from Azkaban where they should never have sent him. Even with all of his powers, he has not sought revenge. He has lived a quiet life, working on a book that will improve the quality of life for wizards, a book that he will never be able to get credit for, but he finished it just the same. He could have kept his improved recipes to himself, taken them to his grave, but he wished to share them with the world instead. This showed Winky that Master's heart is full of forgiveness and generosity.

"Winky saw Master come to Miss Granger's rescue when her son needed a potion and she had nowhere else to turn, even though there was nothing in it for Master. That showed Winky that Master's heart contains selflessness and compassion.

"And Winky has seen Master Severus suffer great emotional pain after things went awry with Miss Granger and his desperate need to make things right again. This shows Winky that Master's heart is full of love.

"Winky knows that Master Severus has a short temper. Winky has felt the sting of Master's words spoken in anger. But Winky has also seen the true nature of Master's heart and soul." With this last statement, Winky pushed herself off of the couch and walked over to Snape's chair. She covered his free hand with hers and gave him a light pat. "Winky loves Master, and Winky will do everything in her power to help Master find happiness. Master deserves that much and so much more."

Snape pursed his lips and furrowed his brow as he tried unsuccessfully to blink back his tears. "So you believe..." He choked on his own words and could not continue.

"... that Master is worth loving? Of course. Master deserves all of the goodness that life has to offer. Master has made up for his past mistakes ten-fold."

"But I'm still a convicted felon. I cannot, I will not sully her reputation..."

"Be patient, Master Severus. Do not lose hope. The future looks bright."

"The near future?" he asked hopefully. Winky's predictions almost always came true.

"Not as near as Master's heart desires or deserves, but near nonetheless."

"Thank you, Winky." He sniffed, then he stood up and threw back what was left of the firewhisky. "I'll be upstairs if you need me. Goodnight." He wanted to look over Miss Granger's case file tonight and see if he could figure out a plan to help things along. He wasn't sure what Winky could see in his future, but if it involved Miss Granger and happiness, he had a pretty good idea. Perhaps he was being too hard on himself. To hear her tell it, he deserved sainthood. He figured that reality probably lay somewhere in between. Perhaps Winky was right. He had repaid his debt to wizarding society. Was it so wrong to want happiness?

*****

At 8 a.m. Monday morning, Hermione found herself sitting next to Harry in the Minister of Magic's office. As Kingsley Shacklebolt leaned back in his posh desk chair she and Harry took turns explaining their discoveries and suspicions in the hope that he would allow Hermione's continued employment and regular visits to the Records Office.

"... And you suspect someone from the Ministry to be behind this?" Kingsley asked, disgusted at the thought that someone he probably knew personally would abuse their power in that way.

"Perhaps even a member of the Wizengamot," Harry admitted sadly.

"The Wizengamot?!" Kingsley shook his head slowly in disbelief. "I can certainly understand your need for secrecy then. And how much longer do you think before you can gather enough evidence for a conviction?"

Hermione shrugged. "With only one day a week to research at best, it could take months – if not years."

"Well, I'll be glad to approve it as long as I am Minister of Magic, but under the circumstances, I think you should know something."

"What's that, sir?" asked Harry as he and Hermione shared a quick worried glance.

"If you're not finished with your research by the time the new Minister takes office, you'll have to get his or her approval as well."

"New Minister?" Hermione's voice became rather shrill with alarm.

"What are you talking about?" asked Harry warily.

"I plan to resign on September first."

"Resign?" they both exclaimed at once.

"Why?"

"How can you do this?"

"Who could possibly replace you?"

"Now, now..." Kingsley held up his hands to quiet them both. "If you recall twenty years ago, I was only supposed to be a temporary replacement for Scrimgeour."

"But you've been the best Minister we've had since I've been a wizard!" Harry insisted.

Kingsley chuckled. "Well, almost anyone would have been an improvement over Fudge, and Scrimgeour didn't hold the post long enough to prove himself. Pius Thicknesse had been under the Imperious Curse, or so he claimed, so there really hasn't been anybody decent to compare me to."

"But why are you leaving? You're not being forced out, are you?" asked Harry suspiciously.

"No, no," Kingsley stilled his fears. "I'm tired. Politics is a nasty business. I just need a change."

"So what will you do?" asked Hermione curiously. "You're too young to retire."

Kingsley grinned and placed his hands behind his head as he pictured his "retirement." "I don't know for sure, but I've been toying with the idea of opening a restaurant – ethnic food with magical qualities based on cuisine from cultures around the world." He suddenly threw his hands down on the desk and leaned forward towards Hermione. "I hear that you and Severus Snape have become friends. Do you think he would consider helping me come up with some recipes? I would need a good Potions Master to help me incorporate magical qualities into the food. He would only need to help with the initial creation of dishes. I would never expect him to actually work in the restaurant."

"You would want to employ a known Death Eater, a convicted felon?" Hermione inquired sardonically.

Kingsley scowled. "You know that conviction was a farce as well as I do. Besides, I would love to work with him. He's a brilliant and talented potioneer, and I'm a fabulous cook. I've travelled the world with this job – one of the perks that I'll really miss – and I've gathered my favorite recipes along the way. With Severus' help, I could come up with unique and delicious foods that satisfy the most discriminating palette that can also add a bit of adventure and excitement. I have so many ideas on how we can enhance the food magically. He's the perfect person to help me figure out how to do it."

"As long as nobody knows he's helping you?" Hermione's eyes narrowed accusingly.

Kingsley dipped his head and shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess that would have to be part of the deal. The conviction is a farce, but most people still believe he's guilty."

"Well," Harry replied with a melancholy smile, "at least you're willing to give him a job. More than I can say for anyone else for the past twenty years." Then he started laughing. "I've never seen you so excited, Kingsley," he admitted. "You're like my son James on Christmas morning."

That got them all laughing.

"But seriously," Kingsley focused on Hermione again, "do you think you could put in a good word for me with Severus?"

Hermione smiled. "Of course, Minister. It sounds intriguing, and he's got more than enough free time." She stole a quick and knowing glance at Harry.

"So, do you know who's in line to replace you?" asked Harry as he attempted to steer the conversation back to the business at hand.

"Someone young and full of fresh ideas, perhaps?" Hermione suggested hopefully.

Kingsley rolled his eyes ruefully. "Don't I wish! Then I wouldn't feel so guilty about leaving. I put feelers out, hoping to find someone who wasn't already on the Wizengamot. But no one seems interested. This job pays fairly well, but most of the younger possibilities who would qualify already own successful businesses and would either be taking a huge pay cut or creating a major conflict of interest that the wizarding population wouldn't tolerate. No, unfortunately, it looks as if only the usual gray talking heads seem interested."

"Talking heads?" Harry's brow furrowed as he imagined the possibilities.

"Yeah," Kingsley laughed humorlessly. "Fudge would love to get his old job back. Seems he's not well suited for business."

"Fudge!" Harry objected strongly. "No WAY! After the way he ignored Voldemort's return and almost lost the war for us – he was a disaster then. He'd be a geriatric disaster now!"

"Don't worry," Kingsley tried to placate him and Hermione, who, by the look on her face, objected just as much as Harry did to the prospect. "After his performance leading up to VWII, he would never be able to get the votes. But the only other person who seems interested is Dolores Umbridge."

"UMBRIDGE?!" They both yelled in unison. "She's WORSE!"

"She's evil!"

"She's horrid!"

"Not her!"

"Anyone but her!"

"Fudge would be better!"

"Well in that case, Harry, perhaps you would consider running?"

"Oh, right, I'm the consummate politician."

"I could almost guarantee you'd win, even against Umbridge."

Harry shook his head adamantly. "No. My kids are still young, Kingsley. I'm already too famous as it is. I want them to have a normal life, or at least as normal as possible. When they're grown and on their own, I might consider it if there's no one decent willing to step up, but not now. We don't even have a house-elf. Ginny would kill me."

Kingsley chuckled as Hermione nodded her head adamantly to back up Harry's statement.

"Assuming no one of merit runs against her, when would Umbridge take office," Hermione asked with great trepidation.

"Well... there would be some campaigning involved to gain public support, but it is ultimately the Wizengamot's decision. I imagine that a vote for my replacement would take place by mid-January, and the winner would take office by mid-May."

"So we have nine months to build a case," Hermione reflected ominously.

Kingsley knitted his brow. "Now I know you don't think much of the woman, but I'm sure she would be as anxious as the next person to bring the blackmailer to justice."

Harry and Hermione exchanged wary looks but remained silent.

Kingsley put two and two together and his jaw dropped. "You don't think she's the blackmailer?"

"She's our leading suspect, I'm afraid," admitted Harry quietly.

Kingsley shook his head in dismay and then buried his face in his hands. "If you're right, it will take a mountain of evidence to convict her. And she will have to be taken completely by surprise. Otherwise, she will work covertly to discredit you and send your investigation in the wrong direction. You may end up looking guilty yourselves if you're not extremely careful."

"She would stoop that low?" Harry realized the ridiculousness of his question immediately as Hermione snorted so loud that she hurt her sinuses.

"She's the most cut-throat politician I have ever met," Kingsley admitted. "She almost managed to get my seat twenty years ago, but the Wizengamot decided that she didn't have enough public support because of her part in the Muggle-born Registration Commission. It had become too closely identified with Voldemort's destructive philosophy."

"Thank Merlin for small favors." Hermione sighed. "I guess memories fade over the years."

"Perhaps enough for her, but not enough for Fudge," Kingsley replied.

They both nodded in agreement.

"Well, then..." Kingsley stood and extended his hand to Hermione first. "... now that's settled, you'd better get to work."

"And this conversation never happened," Harry reminded him.

"What conversation?"

***

As Hermione and Harry made their way through the maze of cubicles and offices of assistants and secretaries that aided the Minister, Harry couldn't contain his curiosity. "So, how'd it go last night?"

When his question was met with a silent but sorrowful look, he knew that he would have to wait for the privacy of an empty lift for his answer.

Luckily, no one else met them as the lift doors opened, so Harry turned his full attention to Hermione the minute the doors closed behind them.

"Oh, Harry, I don't know. It didn't exactly go well, but it wasn't a complete disaster either."

"Tell me what happened," Harry insisted with raised eyebrows.

"Well, like an idiot, I brought up the incident about my teeth when you and Draco got into the duel in the hallway outside of potions class our fourth year."

"Oh, yeah, I remember. He reduced you to tears with one short sentence."

"Reminding him of his cruelty didn't exactly do wonders for his self esteem."

"No, I imagine not."

"And to make matters worse, at dinner he made some snide remark about Ron's lack of gentlemanly conduct, and he and Rose got into a row about it. He tried to apologize, but she was headstrong and rude and he lost his temper."

"Oh, for the love of Merlin – what did he do?"

Hermione chuckled slightly. "Don't worry, Rose is still alive and well and got to keep all of her appendages."

Harry simply shook his head in amazement. "Lucky girl."

"Lucky, indeed. But he did pull up his sleeve and show her his Dark Mark. This horrified her, which was his goal, I suspect. He always ruled his classroom with an iron fist, striking fear into our little hearts from day one. But I had so hoped that Rose would grow to care for him like Hugo does, not fear him."

Harry sighed and placed his hand reassuringly on Hermione's shoulder. "This is Severus Snape we're talking about, Hermione. He's not a nice person."

She shrugged his hand off of her shoulder and glared at him. "He can be when given half a chance," she retorted sharply.

Harry's head dropped in embarrassment. He knew Snape had changed for the better. He had seen it himself. "Sorry. That was uncalled for... So then what happened?"

"Well, after Rose went upstairs, things calmed down a bit. But when he was getting ready to leave, he said that he didn't understand why I would want to waste my time with him because he wasn't worth the trouble."

"Not worth the trouble? After all he's done for the wizarding world?"

"He doesn't have a very high opinion of himself, I'm afraid. It tears me up inside when he says stuff like that. He's not used to being treated with kindness. He doesn't know how to react to it, although he does a pretty good job with Hugo."

"Yeah, I noticed that the day we kidnapped Ron. I could see by the way he looked at Hugo that he held a deep affection for him. And Hugo looks up to him, or he did. Did that change last night, too?"

"No, in fact Hugo came to Professor Snape's defense after Rose left the table."

"Well, that's one good thing then."

"What am I going to do, Harry? How can I convince him that he's lovable?"

Harry laughed out loud. "A lovable Snape! You sure know how to give a fellow nightmares!"

"Oh, come on, Harry, you know what I mean!"

Harry tried in vain to quell his laughter. By the time he finally calmed down, they had reached the floor for the Auror Department. He turned to hug his friend, then he gazed sweetly into her eyes. "Just be patient with him. Make sure he knows how much he is appreciated. He needs to feel needed. It's been over twenty years since anyone has needed him for anything. No wonder his self esteem is non-existent. Give him time, Hermione. If anyone can convince him, you can."