A Birthday Suggestion

All of the characters and their world belong to the amazing J. K. Rowling. I make no money from this endeavor.

Many thanks go to my wonderful betas, JENGEORGE and NervousAboutAngels, who help to keep me in line.

A/N: Some of my friends felt that Arthur Weasley acted a bit out of character in this chapter, but I blame it on the excessive alcohol. How many of us are guilty of doing or saying things while under the influence that we regret later?

Chapter 5

A Birthday Suggestion

The remainder of the week crawled by for both Hermione and Snape. Their e-mails kept strictly to the subject of Hugo's health, almost as if they both felt that to mention the luncheon would jinx it somehow.

On Friday, after conveying what little new information she had on Hugo, Hermione informed Snape that she would not be able to correspond with him over the weekend due to family obligations.

His only response was: Then I'll see you Monday at noon.

Saturday happened to be Ron's birthday. As usual, his mother baked him a huge cake, and the immediate family all descended on the elder Weasley household. Harry and Ginny were there, of course, along with little Lily. She was Hugo's age, and they happily ran out into the garden to chase gnomes and talk excitedly about Hogwarts. "Keep Lizzy out of the mud, please," Hermione called after him, referring to the stuffed toy lizard which had lately become his constant companion.

When it came time for Ron to open his gifts, they all seemed very predictable to Hermione. His parents gave him a pair of khaki slacks, a white collared shirt, and dark blue robes for the office. George gave him one of his latest inventions, a blanket he could throw over himself that would take on the colors of his surroundings. Although it didn't work as well as Harry's Invisibility Cloak, they all decided that it would make great camouflage for covert Auror operations. Harry and Ginny renewed Ron's subscription to Quidditch Weekly, and Hermione gave him a Muggle electronic organizer, something Ron desperately needed but which Arthur quickly snatched up with a desire to have a "closer look." Hermione sighed. She knew the device would never make it home and would probably end up in pieces on Arthur's workbench.

After cake and ice cream, the liquor began to flow freely, but Hermione had only one drink and nursed it slowly. She knew how these things always went, and she had to stay sober if she was to keep her wits about her. She noticed that Harry wasn't drinking much either, and hoped that, if things got out of hand, she would find an ally in him.

Eventually, Molly brought up the notion that Ron and Hermione should consider expanding their family. "What if something were to happen to one of them?" she asked. "Hugo's health is improving, thank Merlin, but one never knows what the future might bring."

"I've tried, Mum," Ron professed. "But her career is more important than children." His condescending glare was almost more than Hermione could endure.

Ginny put a reassuring hand on Hermione's shoulder and proceeded to come to her rescue. "Oh, give it a rest both of you! Kids are a huge responsibility, Mum. You, of all people, should know that! She wants a career, so what? Let her be!"

"But it's her duty to have more children," Arthur joined the fray. "Our numbers were decimated during the War. The wizarding world still hasn't fully recovered. We need to repopulate."

"The government should require each couple to have at least four," Molly insisted. "Arthur, can't you introduce legislation?"

Arthur nodded. "Great idea, Molly. I'll take care of it first thing Monday morning."

Hermione looked at them all in disbelief. Harry and George remained silent. They could see the storm brewing in her eyes but didn't want to get stuck in the middle of it all. Ron's face grew smug at the thought of the government forcing them to have two more children. She would have to stay at home then, and he would have the upper hand again, once and for all.

Finally Hermione could take no more. "Fleur and Bill only have one child," she blurted out. "Now I know why they moved to Egypt. They couldn't stand listening to YOU LOT!"

As she stormed out the back door, Molly turned to Ron. "Don't just stand there, go after her and set her straight!" Then Molly stood and retreated into the kitchen with a growl. Ginny followed her in the hopes of calming her down.

Ron moved forward to obey his mother's order, but Harry stepped in his path. "Let her go, Ron. She needs to cool off."

Ron's face produced a scowl, but he sat back down on the couch. He knew Harry was right.

Only the men remained in the room. After a long and heavy silence, George's curiosity got the best of him and he asked, "What happened to you two anyway? Did you lose that book Fred and I gave you just before Bill and Fleur's wedding?"

"I didn't lose it," Ron said, a bit puzzled. "The charms just stopped working on her. I don't know why. I know I was doing them right. They had worked great for years."

"Is the sex still decent at any rate?"

"George!" Arthur glared at his son's inappropriate question.

"Sex? What sex? I haven't gotten any for months."

Arthur seemed even more alarmed at this confession than the question that produced it. "Sounds like it's time you took a little something on the side then, son."

Ron, George and Harry all stared incredulously at Arthur. "Dad!" Ron and George said together.

"All the purebloods do it," he confessed with a shrug.

"You mean to say that you cheated on Mum?" George whispered.

"Oh, Merlin, no. For one thing I value my life." He chuckled briefly. "But I never made enough money to keep a witch on the side. Too many mouths to feed."

"Hey, bro," added George philosophically, "if she's not putting out, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"You know," Ron admitted, "she's gone to her parents' empty house every lunch hour this week. For all I know, she's shagging some bloody bloke on the side already!"

Harry remained silent as he stared in disbelief at the male contingent of the Weasley clan. Would Ron actually cheat on Hermione? Was Hermione already cheating on him? The thought turned his stomach. Even if she was holding out on him, he felt that cheating was not the answer. Perhaps, with some counseling, they could get back on track. He would try to talk some sense into Ron at work on Monday.

*****

After Hermione had stormed out the back door of the elder Weasley house, she grabbed Hugo by the hand and marched past the non-Apparation perimeter to Apparate home. "Wait!" cried Hugo. He broke free of his mum's grasp and ran back to the garden to retrieve Lizzy, then returned to her side.

But no sooner had they arrived at their house than Hermione realized that this place no longer felt like home. She quickly gathered Hugo's potion, some toiletries, and a few days worth of clothes for the two of them. Then, with Hugo and his favorite stuffed toy lizard in tow, she Apparated straight to her parents' home.

As they materialized at their new location, she let out a huge sigh of relief. This was where she belonged. This was home now. She realized then that, from now on, she would find it very difficult to live under the same roof with Ron, and that their continued cohabitation would only be for Hugo's sake.

About two hours later, a very drunk Ron came stumbling out of her fireplace demanding to know what she had done with his son. Seconds later, a sober Harry appeared and tried to calm him down. Hermione tried to keep her voice steady and choose her words carefully. Thank Merlin Harry was there to help her.

"I just needed some space, that's all," she tried to reassure them.

"Where's my son?" Ron bellowed.

"Our son is upstairs getting ready for bed."

"Wha' – you thin' you're spendin' the night here?"

"The next two nights, actually," she stated defiantly. "I'll see to it that Hugo gets to school Monday before I go to work, and I'll pick him up at Molly's after work as usual. Then we can talk at home Monday night when you have a better chance of remembering the conversation."

"What'd ya mean by tha'? I'm perfectly calp... cab... caffable to remember..."

"Come on, Ron, let's get you home." Harry led him gently by the arm back to the fireplace.

As he looked over his shoulder to give Hermione a reassuring glance, she mouthed the words, "Come back."

Harry nodded discretely, then pushed Ron into the fire and quickly followed.

A few minutes later, Harry returned through the Floo and gave Hermione a much needed hug.

After Harry swore an oath not to tell anyone, not even Ginny, they had a long discussion about the book she had found in Ron's dresser, and what she had done to counteract its spells, and the many doubts she had had about Ron over the years. She ended her tale by voicing her inner doubts about how much longer the marriage could last under the strain. Harry was disappointed but not surprised and admitted that he always felt they were mismatched. He did not admit that Ron had given him a copy shortly after the twins had given him one, but he also silently thanked Merlin that he had never felt the need to use the spells it contained on Ginny.

Harry passed the notion of counseling by her but somehow knew that the idea had fallen on deaf ears. So he screwed up his courage to ask the next question and hoped he didn't get slapped in the face for his trouble.

"Are you cheating on Ron?"

"WHAT??" Hermione was obviously shocked at the question. "What would possibly give you that idea?"

"Ron thinks you might be. He says you've been coming over here at lunch every day... alone."

"Oh, please! Harry, you know me better than that. I'm sure if I'm ever free of him, I'll see other people, but I would never cheat on my husband." Her demeanor became indignant. "I can't believe you would think such a thing."

"I didn't. But Ron seemed convinced, so I figured the best way to find out was just to ask. Sorry."

"It's OK. I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle again. I know you feel like you've spent half your life as peacemaker or go-between for us."

There was a slight lull in the conversation; then Harry decided to focus on something more cheerful. "What a change for the better in Hugo, eh?"

"Yes, he's doing much better. If he continues to improve, I think there'll be no problem with him going off to Hogwarts in a couple of years."

"Ron told me you're trying a new potion on him. Where on earth did you finally find something that worked?"

Hermione hesitated. In a way she was dying to tell someone about Snape; on the other hand, she wanted to keep him all to herself. "I found a new supplier."

"New supplier? In Britain? Anyone I know?"

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. If she couldn't trust Harry, who could she trust? "Yes, but if I tell you, you must promise not to tell a soul. If Ron ever finds out, he'll make me stop, in spite of the fact that it's obviously working brilliantly."

"My, my, you are full of secrets tonight, aren't you?"

"Swear you won't tell."

"Alright, alright, I swear I won't tell a soul."

"Think about it," she giggled like a school girl. "St. Mungo's was no help, and I read every book I could get my hands on, but nothing worked."

"Yeah, Ron told me how hard you had been searching to find something to help the little guy. So who is it?"

"Can't you guess? Who's the best Potions master in all of Great Britain?"

Harry's eyes narrowed as reality set in. "You can't mean Snape?"

"Professor Snape," she corrected him.

"Merlin's beard, you're joking?!" Harry's look of surprise was mixed with amazement.

Hermione beamed at him. She was really enjoying this.

"So when he was spotted in Diagon Alley last week that had to do with you?"

"Yes," she laughed. "He was trying to owl me the first version of Hugo's potion."

"Poor bloke, he's actually trying to help someone and Rita Skeeter turns it into a scandal."

"You know what they say, 'No good deed goes unpunished.'" She and Harry both laughed out loud.

"I sent old Rita a Howler over that article, reminding her that he was a War Hero, and that the Ministry should have been hung up by their toenails for sticking him with that Manslaughter charge," Harry said. "I also wrote a letter to the Editor of the Prophet reminding everyone of Snape's sacrifices during the War, but they chose not to publish it."

"That's a shame, but not a surprise... I've been toying with the idea of sending her a cursed box of chocolates. She would suspect the chocolates to be laced with something, and would most likely toss them into the nearest rubbish bin, but by removing the box from the owl's leg, she would activate the curse when she touched the box."

Harry was intrigued at this point. "And what would it do, exactly?"

"Every time she publishes a story containing gross exaggerations or falsehoods she would break out in hives for a week. And the curse would last a whole year!"

"Oh, that's brilliant! You should do it!"

Hermione started laughing.

"I'm serious! I'll even help you. I'll pick up the box of chocolates tomorrow and we can meet here on Monday at lunch to work out the curse. I've got loads of books from the restricted archives at work that we can use to come up with something really dreadful."

She shook her head, still laughing. "I'm sorry I can't, at least not on Monday. I'm having lunch with Professor Snape. He's bringing me the next version of Hugo's potion. Besides, if we do something right away, she'll suspect us. We need to wait at least a month, so the fuss you made about it will be long forgotten. That way she'll figure it could have been sent by any number of people."

Harry nodded his head in agreement, but then his eyes grew wide with anticipation and he grinned. "So what's he like now? The Prophet article didn't describe him. Did he ever get married? Is his hair even greasier? Or did it all fall out like old Slughorn's?"

"I have no idea. I haven't seen him since his trial almost twenty years ago. I don't know what to expect, really."

"Well, I expect a full report. Let's plan to meet here on Tuesday to see what we can come up with for our dear Miss Skeeter. You can tell me all about it then."

"I'll probably be dying to tell someone about him, so sure. Sounds like a plan."

They both laughed again as Harry got out of his chair. "It's getting late. I don't want to worry Ginny."

Hermione's tone grew somber. "Thank her for me. She stood up to her family for me. You guys are real friends. And I need all the friends I can get."

"I know it may not be easy with a scary Monday looming large, but try to have a nice Sunday."

Hermione gave Harry an impish grin. "Monday won't be scary. I'll be reacquainting myself with Severus Snape. Monday will be wonderful!"

With a bewildered look, Harry gave his old friend a warm hug and disappeared into her fireplace. He wasn't sure how anyone could use the word "wonderful" to describe an encounter with Severus Snape.