Hello, Insanity

Dedicated to Mr. Pokey, who requested more magic in my stories. Originally posted to the Live Journal community Dramionedrabbles, 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. Prompt: blizzard.

Draco was being driven insane one teensy request at a time, and he was deliriously happy about it.

After all, the fates had not been very kind to Moh these last five months; morning sickness, forgetfulness, extreme mood swings, and night time sweats had been the least of her trials. If it was in his power to ease her pregnancy a little, he would do anything she asked of him. As long as she let them keep Mipsy the house-elf for the duration.

At first, the random odd happenings had barely registered; a long lost locket reappeared, his best gloves were dangling from the atrium chandelier. They marveled when Narcissa’s prize roses turned blue and blamed an electrical storm when the telly played only Jerry Lewis movies for twelve hours straight. When pink elephants on roller skates had glided through the living room during a cozily intimate moment in front of the fire (holding signs that said “Ooo la la” and “Who’s Your Daddy?”) they accused George Weasley of testing new products without their consent.

Surprisingly, it was Lucius who finally solved the mystery. The anticipation of his first grandson had led Lucius to stroll down memory lane. Memory lane helpfully reminded Lucius of Narcissa’s eventful pregnancy with Draco. He actually forgot his beloved snake-head cane in his haste to warn his son against impending doom.

“So, what you’re saying, Father, is that pregnancy hormones cause a witch's magic to be unbalanced? The more powerful the witch… ”

“The wilder the magic. House-elves are especially capable of controlling wild magic. It’s why they make wonderful nannies.”

“And you would like to loan us a house-elf?”

“Yes. Just to make sure you still have a house. For my grandson.”

“You get to tell her.” Draco might be happily insane but he was no fool.

Lucius had needed to visit St. Mungo's, (they did a fantastic job, one could barely see where the extra nose had been) but Hermione had finally conceded the need for a temporary house-elf. She allowed Mipsy to perform magical damage control, but refused to request anything else of her. That was what Draco was for.

He fetched her furry cat slippers when her feet were cold. He massaged her back before bed each night. He eagerly listened to her obsess over the safety of cribs, bottles and prams; listened to her debate cloth versus plastic, when to give the baby solid food, play dates and home schooling versus Montessori.

Mrs. Clemson, their handsomely paid squib housekeeper, marveled at Draco’s fortitude and threatened to quit at least once a day. By this time, Draco was more insane and less deliriously happy. Things came to a head during Boxing Day supper with Ginny and Harry. Hermione was craving Fortescue’s gingerbread ice cream. Draco did not wait for the request. He dazedly walked out the front door to Apparate to London in the middle of a snow storm.

“Did you realize there is a blizzard outside?” Harry inquired gently, remembering Lucius’ extra nose adventure.

“No!” exclaimed Hermione. “What is Draco thinking?”

Ginny and Harry shrugged. Though they were sane, they weren’t fools either.

Draco returned safely ten minutes later, gingerbread ice cream in hand. The two couples settled by the fire after Hermione fussed over Draco’s well being. The women chatted pleasantly about Ministry events.

“Harry," asked Draco, “Ginny is a powerful witch. How did you cope when she was pregnant with James?”

There was silence. Harry looked up to find Hermione and Ginny regarding him suspiciously.

“You didn’t warn him,” Ginny stated with eyebrow raised.

“Oops." Harry grinned sheepishly. His green eyes twinkled mischievously. "I forgot.”

“You know,” drawled Draco. “I heard at the ice cream shop that Luna and Neville are expecting their first baby in September.”

“Are you going to warn him?” asked Harry.

“Nope,” replied his co-conspirator. “I’ve always wanted to see a Nargle.”

A/N:

Mipsy the house-elf borrowed from Scifichick774's awesome WIP "Repercussions" rated M. DM/HG, and I'm not saying it's awesome just because I'm her beta.

Pink elephants on rollerskates borrowed from LadyoftheMasque's fanfic - SS/HG. NC-17. Fabulous. All of it.