Baby Steps

Chapter 5 baby steps

Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delay in the update, my personal life has been quite challenging. Also my previous beta had some issues and was forced to withdraw from beta reading. It is with much thanks that I introduce Charmed Force. She not only is a wonderful beta, but she took this story on well after it was started. Just to remind everyone, I'm a short, chubby Italian, not JKR. I do not own any canon characters, I am just playing with them. I will return them after I Obliviate and Scourgify them.

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Severus left the Headmaster's office. He was trying to decide what the best way to help Hermione was. Brute force may cause more damage than good, and most women weren't exactly friendly and open to men after going through what Hermione had. He finally decided that he would approach her as a teacher; perhaps Minerva would be of assistance as well. Having another woman around would certainly help keep her calmer if nothing else. Merlin, what a mess! Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

Minerva left the Hospital Wing after Hermione cried herself to sleep. Hermione never spoke of what had happened to her; instead she appeared to blame herself. Her only comments were related to her not staying with the boys and how much trouble she had caused everyone. Minerva tried to let Hermione vent, but she didn't know how to help her.

Severus had decided that the first thing he had to do was speak to Minerva. They might celebrate their houses and have an ongoing rivalry, but the reality of the situation was they were fairly good friends. He knew he needed her help and assistance. Minerva had a good head on her shoulders, was the contact for Drs. Granger and as Hermione’s Head of House would know more about her than the other teachers. He had already decided that he may not be the best person for Hermione to talk to; his image worked against him.

Minerva wasn't in her office, nor was she in class as it was her free time. Severus did not need Trelawney to predict Minerva's location and headed to the Hospital Wing.

Sure enough, Minerva was sitting with Hermione, stroking her hair as if she were a favored cat. Hermione was, thank Merlin, asleep. Her face was puffy with red blotches. He sighed. It was obvious that the girl had been crying; he didn't blame her, but Severus never could deal with a woman's tears. He had felt helpless many times when revels had destroyed Muggle women and the only thing he could do for them was put them out of their misery.

Severus saw his old Transfiguration professor and was startled at just how old she looked. One of her cubs had come to harm, and the grieving woman looked every bit of her age. He was suddenly sure he couldn't put her through any more grief. He would have to help the poor girl with his own less-than-pleasant demeanor. He was a good man but knew little of women, less of young ladies and nothing about how to help such a victim. He had raped women many times as a new Death Eater and killed victims of rape later as a mercy after Death Eaters were finished. That was the only comfort he could afford those poor women. He had no choice. He had saved more lives as a spy than he could have by any other action. If Voldemort ever discovered his true role, he would be killed slowly and with much pain. The Order needed all the information it could get about Voldemort's movements, and no one could replace Severus as a spy.

'Albus thinks I could help, does he? Experience with this, my arse!' Severus thought to himself. Unless Albus thought Severus was going to Avada the girl, he had no clue what to do. He did, however, have an associate who was a Squib working for a Muggle 'Crisis Center'. She dealt with this kind of thing often, and she knew the wizarding world, so she wouldn't need to be Obliviated. He would have to bring it up with Minerva.

He caught the Transfiguration professor's eye and jerked his head towards a few chairs on the far side of the Hospital Wing.

Minerva stroked Hermione's hair one last time and quietly left her bedside. "Severus," she said with a curt nod. "Why are you here?"

"I just left Albus's office. He wants me to 'help' Miss Granger." He sighed before continuing. "I don't think I can do much for her to be honest. She already scratched my face, and I have given her and her friends little reason to trust me. Do you have any suggestions?"

"She hasn't said anything to me. We could contact her parents--we probably should contact her parents."

"I have a friend who may be able to assist Hermione better than we can. Her name is Ursula; she is the daughter of associates of mine. She is a Squib so she knows of both worlds, and her line of work is dealing with..." his voice faltered a bit, but he continued, "with women who have been... assaulted. She is a counselor at a Muggle crisis center."

Minerva looked startled for a moment. She was quite curious about this woman and what she may be able to do, but Severus's demeanor did not suggest he was about to say any more about her. She didn't know what to say; this was new territory for them all. She didn't care much for the Potion master's cool exterior, but she did understand that it was very necessary for his survival.

This war was dragging on, and she was tired, everyone involved was tired, but they had to continue. Hopefully, Harry would be in the position to end things soon; she had to admit ever since the Triwizard Tournament, the year that Voldemort came back, they had been preparing for war. Skirmishes between the Order and the Death Eaters were becoming much more frequent, neither side gaining much ground. Severus's spying gave them enough information to stop some of the Dark Lord's plots, but he couldn't know everything, and he was balancing a fine line of negligible disinformation and gaining useful information without getting caught. The day Severus was found out to be a spy would be the day he died.

Whomever this woman was, Minerva prayed she could help. Severus could keep his secret on the how and when he met her; it just wasn't important in the long run.

Slipping into the Hospital Wing, Severus spoke briefly to Madame Pomfrey. She left the hospital to give Severus the privacy to question Hermione. She didn't like it, but the girl needed help she couldn't provide. She could only heal the physical; the emotional fallout landed squarely on the shoulders of a man deemed to have no compassion, yet witnessed and lived through horrors upon horrors. As she left the room she told him where the Calming and Dreamless Sleep Draughts were located.

Severus sat on Hermione's bed, his weight depressing her mattress. The poor girl was frozen in shock and fear, her eyes rolling wildly, instinctively pushing the man away from her. He grasped her hands firmly together, preventing her from either pummeling him or hurting herself in her pitiful, weak struggles. He spoke to her calmly, with authority, telling her she was going to drink a Calming Draught. He held the vial to her lips, forcing her to drink it slowly and trying not to make her choke. He waited a few minutes for the drug to take effect.

"Hermione," he said. "I know you are upset. Merlin knows you have every right to be. I am trying to help you. Alright?"

Dazed brown eyes refused to meet his gaze. She had given up her struggling, though he couldn’t tell if it was from the Calming Draught or sheer terror from him restraining her. He slowly lifted her chin so he could see her face better. Her eyes tightly closed, she tried to turn her face and pull away from him. He realized that she had generalized her fear to all men and his heart broke. He wondered if she would ever be able to have a relationship with a man. She deserved a happy life in the future with a career and children if she wanted. So much potential that may have been ruined if her heart and mind couldn't be saved. Softly, he spoke again.

"Hermione, do you remember what happened? Can you tell me?"

Her reply was purely physical as she panicked and struggled for freedom. Being too weak to force him away, she tried to curl into a fetal position. Silent tears slid down her cheeks; her demeanor was defeated. He would get nowhere fast this way. He was forced into using his last resort.

Trying a different tack, her teacher used his best bat-of-the-dungeon voice and informed her that since she would not speak he would have to get the information without her participation. He was disgusted with himself, but to help her they needed to know what happened. He knew there was no hope of her volunteering the information. With the utmost care he pulled her upper body close to him, easily deflecting her attacking hands. He got her as comfortable as he could without risking either of their safety. He murmured an apology and made eye contact. "Legilimens!" he said.

He began sorting through her memories, sifting gently rather than forcing what was needed. He held her as gently as he was able, trying to use his body language to reassure her even if his actions wouldn't. He gagged at what he saw in the corridors of her mind and marveled that she had come back at all. He got what he needed and broke contact. Hermione curled into herself, whimpering in pain. He gave her some Dreamless Sleep Draught and stayed with her until it took effect.

He would see the bastards dead as soon as he could.

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Ursula was an intuitive woman, smart, caring and funny. She loved her job as well as despised it. Helping women survive the aftermath of rape was one of her greatest challenges in her profession. Getting the message across that rape is not a crime of passion, but one of subjection is the first step. Society had a tendency to make women feel guilty for being a victim; even worse, women were treated like they are the perpetrators.

Saturday, even though she was on call, was one day she didn't schedule sessions. As long as her phone didn't ring, she could catch up on housework and her friends. She saw women only if there was a crisis.

She was surprised to hear a tapping at her window and even more so that it was an owl.

"Well, well," she whispered. She rarely had communication with the wizarding world, and only wizards communicated by owl. She let the owl into her home, went to her kitchen for a small bowl for water and a piece of bacon leftover from breakfast. She gave the owl food and drink and relieved it of its letter. Her eyebrows shot straight to her hairline when she saw the Hogwarts Seal, recognizing it from her sibling's school days.

Ursula opened the letter. Recognizing Severus's cramped script, she eagerly scanned the contents. She had fond memories of him as a youngster; he had a gift for potions and would tell her all kinds of stories from school. She idolized him as a kid and never understood how he could follow a mad man. It was much later, after her family was warned about an upcoming attack by Voldemort, that the pieces fell in place for her. Her father didn't listen to the warning and her family was wiped out. It was the same script that she read as a child and later used in the letter that warned her family. She did not know why he tried to warn her family, but she was grateful for the effort.

The cramped, spiky handwriting was not difficult to follow. She read all about Hermione, her kidnapping, how she was found and how she was acting. The end of the letter was a plea to come and help the Muggle-born student.

Ursula needed no other prompting. She had heard of the Order of the Phoenix, how it was trying to stop Voldemort. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, employer of one Severus Snape and... leader of the Order. She mused over all the puzzle pieces. She suspected there was more to the story of Severus than what the world knew. She picked up the phone and called her employers; she had plenty of sick time and vacation time saved up. Her decision was a simple one. The war that had torn up her world was heating up again, and this time she was in a position to help, even if it was in a small way. She quickly penned a note and tied it to the owl's leg. She would be there in a week.

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Author's Note~

Rape is a common way to break a woman's spirit and has been used for eons in war and as a crime. It is a method that encourages the victim blame herself for what happened. The courts are of no help since the victim is the one on trial so to speak. The victim is cross examined and questioned about what she was wearing, if she drank anything, how she led the attacker on. She has to prove herself innocent. A rape trial is almost opposite to the trial of every other crime. Instead of the accused being innocent until proven guilty, it is the victim who must defend herself and prove she is innocent. Until society changes and people are educated about the true nature of this crime, I don't foresee a change in the American legal system.