Doubt and Trust

A/N: Thanks to my beta, not_london. I just LOVE this chapter! It pulls at so many different emotions I was exhausted afterwards. Please review!

***

Genevieve and Severus went back to his rooms for the night. The young woman was relieved to be out of the manor. She was right knackered. All she wanted to do was sleep, forget about being a spy, and what she had to accomplish in the next 72 hours. But she was restless and irritated. She eyed Severus. He seemed to be at ease. No look or air of being careworn or anxious was on his face. The foul words of Bellatrix came bubbling up in her mind.

"Now listen, you little whore, because that is what you are...a whore! Severus has fucked every woman in the Sisterhood, has even carried on with some of them for a long time before turning his back on them. You are a distraction, a toy, he may tell you he loves you, but it's a lie...a LIE!"

The words reverberated in her mind until she could feel her face hot and her eyes thick with tears. She had to get this over with.

"I know about you," she announced coldly.

Severus snapped his head up from his desk. "What?" he snapped.

She stood up, her tears flowing down her cheeks. "Bella told me that you've fucked every woman in the Sisterhood...that I'm just a temporary whore for you, and you're going to throw me away when this is all over."

He reclined back in his chair with a smirk on his face, but his eyes looked murderous.

"This, coming from the same woman who claimed I had a "lasting" problem?"

Genevieve worried her hands as she often did when anxious. "Please don't lie to me. I lived my whole childhood based on the lie that one day, my father was going to make an honest woman of my mother...and he never did. He kept her dangling and waiting. He used her and I WILL NOT BE USED!" she screamed.

Silence reigned. Severus had a choice. He could either be the man she needed him to be and relieve her doubts, or to cling to his wounded pride and hide behind his sarcasm. He chose sarcasm.

"Well, you don't seem to mind being used by the Dark Lord, or Bellatrix, for that matter. You don't mind placing yourself on display for all of the Death Eaters! So, what exactly is it that I have done that was so horrible to your delicate sensibilities?" he said silkily.

"You were the one that got me into this," she accused as she rushed over to confront him face to face. She pointed her finger at him and continued her argument. "I came to you suffering and in pain. My father was dead, and there I was, vulnerable and weak, asking 'what am I going to do now?' You took advantage of me!"

Severus' face was whiter than she had ever seen it. His nostrils flared, and he brought his white knuckled fists up to her shoulders. She winced; she had never seen anyone so angry.

"HOW DARE YOU!" he roared. "You wanted me...you choose me! I did not choose you. You came to this school to claim ME. I invited you into my most intimate places...I shared my soul with you, my most intimate thoughts. You told me you would never judge me for having the Dark Mark, or my past. Well, the past will never be over until this fucking monster is finally dead! If you want me then you'll have to take all of me...not just the parts of me that are romantic and convenient for you. You act as if I personally orchestrated this whole sordid business!"

Genevieve stood silent. She didn't know what to say.

He walked over to the door and flung it open. Then he whipped around and said, "Do you have any idea what happens to me when I know you are in the arms of another, especially another woman? The Dark Lord taunts me that you'll leave me...you'll decide women are better. I hurt every time you go there, knowing you are naked and having orgasms that are MINE! Mine alone to be giving you! And you accuse me?" He was crying now. His face was like stone, but tears were streaming down his face. He turned sharply on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

Genevieve stood dumbly in the middle of the room, her hand covering her mouth in horror. Finally, she bolted out of the room and ran after him. "Severus!" she called out. It was dark, her wand only lit up so much around her. She walked along the corridors that she knew he usually stalked, desperate to find him. A part of her wanted to apologize and another part of her wanted to hex him for walking out on her!

Suddenly, she was grabbed from behind. A hand clamped over her mouth and a hand clenched her wrist so tightly her wand slipped out of her hand. She realized it was Severus as he began to hiss in her ear, "Do you know how much anguish I endured having to hurt you that night? I had to look at your horrified face, and I was so scared you were going to never forgive me. I am in pain every day. EVERY DAY! Because I have to watch you go back again and again to that blasted house of horrors! I ache for you and then you are not here and I never know if you will ever come back to me. I love you so much I can't even tell you. I have no words. All I want is you. You are all I can think about. Yes, I've fucked a lot of women in my past, but since you have come into my life there has been only you. ONLY YOU!"

He whipped her around and forced her against the wall. He forced his thighs against hers, pinning her so hard she couldn't move. She turned her face from him...his breath was hot on her neck.

"What did that bastard do to you?" he demanded as he held her to the wall by the pressure of his chest on hers. His hands were on either side of her head. She was humiliated and scared. This was something she didn't want to tell him.

"TELL ME!" he roared.

"He made me give him oral sex," she whispered as she hid her face. "I-I didn't want to...I didn't!" she cried

"I understand," he said calmly as he backed off from the wall, releasing her in the process. "I've had to do things sexually I didn't want to do either. I just hate that you wouldn't or couldn't tell me." He took her face in his hands. "I promise you, when this is over I will marry you. I hated that your father flaunted the fact you were illegitimate. I want you, the woman who has shared in my pain and sufferings, who knows my darkness, to be my wife. I swear on my life, on my very soul." He kissed her then and she responded passionately.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she breathed as they embraced. "Please don't let me go! Wherever I am, you are on my mind. Only you, I love you, please love me, hold me!"

"Shh, I do and will never stop," he said huskily. He grabbed her again and kissed her passionately. She reached up her dress and stripped off her knickers. He grabbed her thighs, and she allowed him to ravish her against the wall. Genevieve thrust her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. She wanted him to crush her, to dominate her, to eradicate all the hell that had become her life. They moaned and screamed into each other's mouths to keep their pleasure quiet. When it was over, they fell to the ground panting and laughing, remembering the last time they were passionate against a wall.

"Better now?" he asked quite out of breath.

"Yes, I trust you, I love you. No more doubting." She replied between gasps for air.

"That's what Bellatrix has always wanted...my total and complete undoing. She wants to poison you against me," he warned.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing she only has three days to live," Genevieve replied darkly.

***

Genevieve sat looking out the window in Molly's kitchen enjoying the morning sun at Grimmauld Place. Everyone was anxiously waiting for Bill and Fleur's return from Gringotts. She felt a hand caress hers. She turned and saw Molly. She smiled weakly as if she felt responsible for keeping up the older woman's morale. But Molly was not fooled.

"It is a hard life you've chosen," she observed as she set two cups of hot tea on the table for them.

Genevieve looked back out the window. "Yes, but a necessary one. I tell you, I will be very relieved when this is all over, but a part of me wonders if it will ever be truly over?"

Molly sighed and took a sip. "Well, some things can never be Obliviated. Even if you put your memories in a Pensieve, they are always there. This war has defined so much of my life, I don't think I can remember anymore how I used to feel before... all of this started."

Genevieve turned to Molly. "How do you do it? I mean, how do you and Arthur keep your love alive? How have you not allowed all of this destruction to tear you apart?"

Molly pondered the young woman's face. "As I said, you have chosen a hard life. We aren't spies; we haven't had to test the limits and boundaries of our love in the ways you and Severus have...and so early in your relationship!" She shook her head sadly.

"Do you think it all fall apart once it's over?" Genevieve whispered.

"That's not for me to judge," she answered. "But one thing I do know is when I saw you with him that celebration night, I saw a look on his face I had never seen before. I don't think any of us had ever seen him remotely happy before! For the first time since I've known him, he looked truly happy. And it was you that brought him that happiness. Oh, you'll have a difficult time of it. You will have to learn to live life as normal wizarding folk. You'll have to come to terms with the deceptions and lies you had to do for us all to live in peace. But, if you can hold on to each other and comfort one another through the pain and the guilt, I think yours will be a union that will be the most envied in our world."

"I do love him, Molly," she said in a small voice. "I love him more than anything in this world. I'm just so afraid I will lose him before we can even begin a life together!" She broke down, sobbing hysterically. Molly held the sobbing young woman.

"Umm, Mum...is this a bad time?"

"Bill!" Molly shouted. She continued to hold the crying Genevieve. "There dear, all this tension and nerves, you go ahead and have a good cry."

Fleur produced a bag and smiled her most charming smile. "We 'ave zee cup!" she announced.

Molly screamed in delight. She jumped up and hugged and kissed the two thieves.

Genevieve tried to stop crying. Molly beamed at her as Bill took it out and showed the gleaming gold cup of Helga Hufflepuff. She started blubbering anew, but out of joy. Everything was falling into place.

She went for a lie-down after that and slept deeply, so deeply she didn't wake until the next morning. Severus was waiting for her while the Weasley clan, including Harry and Hermione ate breakfast.

"How are you?" he asked. He looked very concerned.

"Rested and starving! Molly, could I impose?"

"Of course, and you too, Severus! Boys, make room. Fred, George, bring over chairs. I forbid you both to leave this house until you've eaten every bite of food on your plates!"

Severus tried to evade eating, but the twins kept pestering him until he threatened to hex them with a curse that would make what happened to them when they tried to cross the age line in order to put their names in for the Triwizard Tournament seem like a minor spell gone awry.

Molly swooped and roughly grabbed Snape's wand out of his hand. "No wands at the table!" she chided him as if he were one of her own boys. He glowered at the witch, but Ginny spoke up over the roaring laughter of the twins.

"Don't vex her, Professor. You may be a scary ex-Death Eater, but she's had all of us to contend with. One against seven...she's pretty lethal."

Ron's mouth was full of food, but nodded furiously in agreement. Harry and Hermione sniggered behind their pumpkin juice.

Molly, after disarming the surly professor, ignored the table talk completely. She couldn't take her eyes off of Genevieve, who was shoveling food in her mouth at a pace that would make Ron a dainty eater. Snape's eyes finally rested on her as well. His eyebrows furrowed and he grabbed her hand just as she was about to shovel in another mouthful.

"Are you starving?" he asked sarcastically as he looked at her in disgust.

She swallowed her food that was still in her mouth and shook her head. "I'm just so hungry! I guess since I didn't eat dinner last night."

Molly came to her defense. "Leave her be, Severus. I've noticed she hasn't been well. Shirty and weepy as well."

Severus was confused. Molly thought it best to keep her intuition to herself. But if she were a betting woman, she would wager a little baby Snape would be on its way in about six to seven months.

***

Genevieve came back with Severus to the castle for one last time before she had to be at the manor in order to prepare herself for the Revel. She hadn't planned on anything other than preparing her body with a soak and a lotion up. Instead, she was unable to stay away from Severus. He smelled so good! He looked so scrummy in his black robes. She felt as if she were drunk and was insatiable. She shocked him with her rough handling. She begged him to take her on his desk in his classroom.

"Why? Won't that be uncomfortable?"

"Just. Do. It." she said through gritted teeth.

"Good Lord, who is this woman? he thought. But soon he was incapable of any type of coherent thinking, because she decided she needed to direct this interlude, so he went with it and spent two lovely hours completely under the influence of his Slytherin beauty.

Afterwards, as he lay on his bed, he felt there could be no more energy left in his body. He was totally exhausted. She, on the other hand, was humming and busying herself with packing for the evening.

"You will have my wand ready for me, right?"

"Yes. But you are not going to battle in the nude."

"Don't be obscene!" she snapped. "I'll be covered appropriately, don't worry." She smiled.