Chapter: 13, Oh, Dear, Where art Thou?

Disclaimer: Based on borrowed characters from HP world.

Acknowledgment: Tireless hardship and dedication are the two other names that could identify my beta, Writermerrin.

~*h*~

Hermione came out of the Floo of Harry Potter's office. She needed the key and the password to her home. Harry was looking after it. She knew that last week's password had been "Sheriff of Nottingham."

They had decided to use Muggle terms as passwords since magical people would rarely know of any Muggle references. However, Harry and Hermione could easily remember those, as both of them were familiar with Muggle culture.

She did not know if Harry'd have had any reason to change it since they had talked. She had her keys in her bedroom, but she was not going back there looking like a complete fool to Severus just because in her anger she did not remember that she didn't have the key with her... or anything else for that matter.

She had not planned to run away like a petulant child as she had. She'd hoped against all hope that he would stop her, tell her that her assumptions were false and he had been truly busy, but that had not happened.

They were fighting once again, but this time he did not end it with kisses, he just ended it. Otherwise, Hermione would be in Severus' arms instead of a Ministry fireplace. He had said, "There is no 'us,' there will never be an 'us,' ever." And she had thought that they were to cross all the bridges together.

She'd been a fool to believe in him. He must be laughing at her naiveté. All the names he had called her! 'Ridiculous' was how she looked to him. 'Disgusted' was how he felt about her.

She would never even be on the same continent with that insufferable man again. She would wait for Harry to bring the kids home, and she would leave for Australia to Mum and Dad. She would even raise her kids as Muggles if there wasn't a wizarding school in the Australian community. She did not want anyone to suffer her ridiculous presence and feel disgusted. Thank you very much!

However, Harry was not in his office. His new partner told Hermione that he had gone to the next level, so Hermione went to the lift. There was someone else in the lift, but in her distress, Hermione wasn't paying attention to her surroundings.

That was obviously another mistake, because the person behind her simply said, "Stupefy!"

~*S*~

Severus jumped up to catch her, but there was a table between them, and before he could reach her, she had gotten away.

That annoying, arrogant, impossible, insufferable witch! How dare she walk out on me! How could she leave all these children unattended? What if there was an accident?

At any time anyone could end up hexed or injured in a school full of magical teens. How could the only Healer be so irresponsible as to leave with a 'they have you' speech?

She had left...she need not come back. He could have her fired for her arrogant stunt and mockery anyway, couldn't he? He asked himself again, could he not?

Yes, he was grateful for his life, but that did not give anyone free range to mock him. Severus stormed out of the hospital wing.

Presently, he had a pre-scheduled meeting with Lucius Malfoy. He would send the termination letter when he came back from the mansion.

No, he would write the pink-parchment with his infamous red quill and owl it before his meeting.

True to his anger, he did just that. The owl and Severus left Hogwarts together.

~*S*~

His meeting with Lucius had a very surprising outcome. After the usual greetings and pretending that he, too, had been one of Voldemort's finest, Severus tried to get some information out of Lucius, as he had been doing for the last month.

Lucius had more than his usual drink tonight, and Severus had managed to slip three tiny drops of Veritaserum for the encouragement of the truth. It resulted in a miracle. In his moment of boasting and Potter bashing, Lucius had let loose the vital information to grant him life in Azkaban... if Harry Potter left him alive.

Severus came back to Hogwarts as soon as possible without raising any suspicion, and then he methodically preserved the memory of the conversation where Lucius told him about his hand in Ronald Weasley's murder in the Pensieve and Floo-called Mr. Potter.

Harry came in to witness the memory in the Pensieve, then said in a carefully controlled voice, "This is why I wanted you to lead the Order." And then he had left.

Severus waited until about twelve thirty-five in the morning for Potter's confirmation that they had arrested Lucius. When Potter had Flooed him, he went to the Auror office to hand in his vial of memory that would incriminate Lucius and saw the red wig in Potter's rubbish bin. So, she'd come running here... How predictable!

How will she take the news? The disobedient part of him had asked, but he ignored it.

At that moment, Potter chose show his Legilimency skill for the first time in his life. "I wonder what Hermione will do!"

"You will find out when you tell her the news yourself next time you see her." His anger, which he had forgotten in the excitement of the night, came back in full volume, and he rose to leave.

"Me? Why not you?" Potter asked, confused.

"Isn't that rather obvious, Potter?" He could not tolerate it any more. He left, repeating to himself, "Occlumency is the key word," over and over before his patience had a chance to leave him forever.

~*s*~

After Severus took off his day's clothes, put on his cozy black dressing gown, and washed the day off of his face, he reached for the towel. The soft, blue Turkish towel seemed to glare at him. She had purchased it for him! Hermione had wanted him to wipe his face on what could possibly be the softest piece of fabric in the whole world. Why?

He left the towel on the floor and went back to his office. Everything he was wearing was a gift from her; she had shopped for him before he had been released from the hospital wing. That could be easily rectifiable, he thought. He would purchase his own things in the morning and Incendio all of these. No, he would do better; he would Incendio, and then he would send the ashes to her by owl.

The owl! It had come back to his office. The poor thing must be exhausted from the flight. He had noticed the aging bird when he entered, but had not wanted to know what she had to say to him. Severus looked for something to offer it, but then again, he had never been the one to stuff his office with treats. Maybe he would read it when he was not so busy. He could make himself look busy a bit longer, but she wouldn't know that, would she? And the owl needed to go back to the owlery, too.

Maybe she would know if he'd let her know. He decided to read her letter and send the proper answer. He took the letter and...

It was the same letter he had written earlier that evening to let her know that her services at Hogwarts were no longer required. The owl had not found her.

How could the owl not find her? She'd received papers everyday; she was listed on the owl-post directory. Why then would this owl come back without delivering the post? Unless...

Unless she was in trouble! It hit him like a bludger to the face...Hermione is in trouble! She had been upset when she'd abruptly left, and he had no idea what had happened to her!

He knew she'd been in Potter's office...he'd seen the wig there. Then again, Potter had not mentioned anything about having seen her, nor had he blamed him for upsetting her, which was, even in his new found admiration for Severus, highly uncharacteristic behavior for Potter. Even though they had been very excited about doing right by Weasley, as protective as Potter was of his friends, he was bound to have mentioned an upset Hermione in the face of the man who had caused her distress. Why hadn't he? Potter was supposed to confront him, not be amiable as he had been. Hadn't Potter sounded confused when Severus had told him to inform Hermione of Lucius' crime?

Did he not see her? Had something happened to her when she went to Potter's office? Was there somebody else present who had forcibly taken her away and tossed that piece of rug in the rubbish bin?

She probably had been crying at the time and was caught off guard. Weasley's spirit had warned him that she was fragile. Had he listened? The spirit had pleaded with Severus to not hurt her. Had he cared? Obviously not. I made her cry once again.

He tried to remember what had happened in her office. When he had seen her, she had already been upset. He had ignored that fact because he had noticed she was dressing up as Lily. He had thought that she was mocking him, as James Potter used to. So he'd become angry and yelled at her.

She had said that she'd dressed like Lily to garner his attention. She had acted jealously to the fact that he still loved Lily and not her. Why would she do that if she loved Longbottom?

Why would she humiliate herself in front of him to make a point...that he should like her for herself, not as someone else's shadow, otherwise it would be this awful...if it weren't him whom she wanted?

Had she not said that she liked Longbottom as a friend? He'd chosen to ignore that fact and, without realizing that she had taken a Slytherin approach to convey her message, had berated her for her attempt to be noticed by him.

He had done the same thing he used to do when she'd wanted his attention all those years ago...he had insulted her. He had said that he was disgusted, but he had not told her it was because he could not believe that someone like Hermione would degrade herself by dressing up as somebody else.

Though he had never praised her in public like her other teachers had when she was his student, he'd always had a soft spot in his mind for her and her brilliance; and he just hadn't been in a position to show it like the others back then.

Dressing up as somebody else to get attention was a job for certain Knockturn Alley workers. She had not only insulted him but also herself.

He had said she looked ridiculous because she did. The fact that she looked different from Lily had not mattered to him. He liked her just as she was...as Hermione Jean, who was a witch in her own right... nobody's shadow.

But Severus hadn't elaborated as he had been trying to isolate... No, he had pushed her to the edge instead, and she had fled. She had fled from the sight of him because she could not take it anymore.

He had told her there could be no us for them, but she had wanted that us. Her last words to him had been "Every one else has you, don't they?" She hadn't said the students: she'd said everyone else. Everyone else except her, and she was the one who had wanted him.

The crumpled letter fell from his hand, worries rushing through his mind, What have I done? Have I once again lost my love due to my stupidity? Before even realizing it? How is she? What are those people doing to her? Who are they? Are they hurting her? Are they casting the Unforgivables? Is she even alive?

Severus went back to the bathroom, picked up the blue towel from where he had discarded it before, pressed it to his chest, and whispered as he sank down to the floor in his misery,

"Where are you?"