Final

This is the end! Thanks for sticking with me through it. I don't own anything except the sheep and the wheel of cheese.

Thanks to ScatteredLogic for her insightful beta skills :)

~~~~

Severus spotted Ronald Weasley across the village green, being herded by his mother on some errand. He strode purposefully across the lawns, peeled off his glove, and threw it unceremoniously at Ron’s feet.

“I am honor-bound, Mr. Weasley, to address your accusations of impropriety regarding Miss Granger. A duel it must be.”

“Name the time and place, Snape. You don’t deserve her anyway,” Ron sneered, kicking the glove away.

“Two o’clock this afternoon, Hogwarts lawns.” Severus then turned to a speechless Molly and sketched a bow. “Madam Weasley, a pleasure as always,” he intoned before stalking off toward the jeweler’s.

~~~~

The two men drew their wands, but Ron had never quite grasped nonverbal spells. He was on the ground in a full Body-Bind before he could get the entire “Tarantallegra” out of his mouth.

Severus strolled over to where Hermione had been watching and bent his head close to hers.

“I know how much you care for him, and I do not wish to cause you anguish. He’s unharmed, but his pride is bruised,” he said quietly.

“Thank you for not killing him; although it will be a long time before I wish to speak to him again.” Hermione frowned.

~~~~

Hermione and Severus Apparated back to Grange House and settled themselves in the drawing room for an early tea.

“I suppose now is as good a time as ever for you to tell me what you expect of me as your wife, Lord Snape. I do wish to make an informed decision.”

“Miss Granger, I expect that you will tell me what you still wish to accomplish in life – I do not wish to hold you back from your aspirations.”

Hermione reached for a small notebook on the side table. “You’re going to be quite sorry you asked me that.”

~~~~

After laying out her plans for continued education, freedom of movement, and fiduciary concerns, Hermione noticed that Severus’ eyes had glazed over a bit.

“Are you quite well, sir? Shall I have Tissy bring you something stronger than tea?”

Severus set his teacup down, sat back in the chair, and laughed – a full, hearty laugh.

“Your father warned me you would have a pile of stipulations. You’re quite lucky that I have a secret passion for Gryffindor bluestockings! Yes, I agree to most of your terms. Arithmancy mastery, teaching if you like. However, I insist that you use ‘Snape’ socially.”

~~~~

“You’re quite all right with waiting for an heir for another few years, then?” she asked, looking a bit worried.

“Hermione...I shall require that long to get used to being married to such an intelligent, lovely woman. I’m rather sure our children will be mischievous at best and hellions at worst – I’m fine with putting that off for a while.”

She smiled, and took a sip of her tea. “I suppose that’s settled, then. Er. Are you sure you won’t want two sheep and a wheel of cheese as well?”

He chuckled, and she blushed, prettily.

“Oh, never you mind.”

~~~~

The wedding was billed as the social event of the season. Invitations were delivered, and there were no regrets. The wedding day arrived, sunny and gorgeous. As the guests waited for the ceremony to start, an otter Patronus scampered up the aisle and spoke with Hermione’s voice.

“The bride and groom are delighted to inform you they’ve gone to Gretna Green. Enjoy the banquet with our compliments.”

None of the guests could figure out why the head table was occupied by two sheep and a wheel of cheese; but the sheep were well behaved, and the cheese was delicious.

~~~~

Somewhere in Iceland, the bride and groom were relaxing happily in a private hot spring behind their Unplottable honeymoon chateau.

“You truly didn’t mind eloping?” Severus asked, nudging her leg with his foot.

“You agreed to so many things in our negotiations, I couldn’t refuse you this one thing,” Hermione replied, a grin on her face. “Besides, I’d still be in that ridiculous corseted ball of frilly fluff if we hadn’t. Naked in a hot spring with my surprisingly fit husband is a far more satisfactory way to spend the evening.”

The rest of the evening was rather satisfactory, indeed.

~~~~

Hermione did indeed become a top-notch Arithmancy mistress. When not doing contract work for the highest bidder, she spent her time chasing two darling curly-headed girls.

Severus continued to research and perfect experimental potions. He spent his off time entertaining Sophie and Sigrid and teaching them the finer points of Slytherin cunning.

Both parties were of the opinion that they had each made a very good deal. If they occasionally hexed each other during a heated academic debate, it was hardly worthy of notice, and they always made up afterward.

All reports indicate that they lived happily ever after.