The Conspirators

George woke up startled, jumped up quickly from his bed, grabbed his wand, and pointed it at the first person he saw other than his brother. The problem was that the only other person he saw was Dylan, still sprawled out on his brother's bed. "Whoa, what's up? Why is she... on ... are you? What'd ya wake me up for?"

"Oh, just thought that you'd like to be in on this one," Fred replied with a mischievous edge to his voice.

George had been staring at Dylan, gaping at her lying sprawled out on Fred's bed, checking out her pajama bottoms, little tank top, and her dressing gown, which was flung wide-open. His eyes grew large as he looked back at Fred. "Really? She's up for it?" he asked, stunned.

"Sure," Fred said calmly. Dylan was stunned; certain that somehow her visit had been grossly misconstrued, as she stared up at Fred then looked back at George. "Considering it was your idea after all."

George stared at Fred, completely confused. His attention was riveted on his brother, so he missed Dylan's stunned expression all together. "My idea? What are you talking about?"

Dylan suppressed a giggle. So they like playing their tricks on each other, too. Well, Fred did say he was going to strangle him... This is ultimately far funnier to witness.

"You made her a promise – so now she is here to collect up on it. You could have warned me!"

"So, who is going to be on top?" George asked hopefully.

Boys! Do their minds always run on a single track? If he thinks that I'm going to shag both of them... Dylan struggled to sit up and sit cross-legged on Fred's bed.

"Neither," Fred said firmly.

George's mouth dropped and then quickly snapped closed. "So why did you wake me?" He turned to look at Dylan. "This isn't about a nice little shag, is it?"

"You tell me," Fred insisted. George simply shook his head confused. "Okay, it's like this, dung-brain. You said you would help her get back at..." He turned to look at Dylan quickly. "What did you call her – oh, yeah," then turned back to George, "the Toad – Umbridge. Personally, I like your plan. So how exactly did you want to carry it out – and why didn't you include me in on it?"

Dylan could actually see George's train of thought come to a complete halt as he mulled over what Fred said. "I'm lost on this one." He looked at Dylan, completely perplexed. "I'm sorry if I made a promise to you... but I don't remember what it was – or when?"

"I'll tell you when you made the promise, if you can guess what she wants to do," Fred said, as he crossed his arms and regarded his brother with a grin.

Dylan had to cover her mouth to keep from her laugh silent enough so as not to wake up their dorm mates. She moved over, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "Do you remember that day you saw me walking back from class with the jar of pond water?" she asked. George nodded, and Fred sat down next to her and grinned. "I have been raising grindylows in my room, on the windowsill. I have about ten tadlowogs in a tank and about a fifteen that recently hatched. They will develop their tentacle fingers and teeth in a few weeks."

George slid his trunk closer to Fred's bed with his wand and sat down. "All right – still don't know what exactly I promised you," he said, still baffled. Fred on the other hand managed to hide his amusement rather well.

"Give him a moment... He just woke up – brains not working yet," Fred said. "Come on – it's really rather a good one. We should have thought it up ages ago."

"Tadlowogs, huh?" George said, as he reasoned out the possibilities. "Let's see... water glass or pitcher, tea cup, tea pot, sink, bath... loo... can't put them in her bed – that won't do much, they need to be in water... am I close?"

Dylan nodded surprised at the options he ran through. Those are brilliant, and if it could be pulled off – so much better than just chucking one in her water glass every class for several days in a row.

"You pretty much got it," Fred stated.

"The glumbumbles; you remember? You got them into her quill cup and no one saw you do it, but I know you did. I just cannot figure out how you managed that," she explained. "So, I have a proposition. One prank – you help me with one prank, and for each one we do, I will pay you with a container of an element that you have on your list." Fred passed the list she'd returned to him over to George.

"She said that she has the ones crossed out in yellow," Fred stated.

"Two and it's a deal!" George said as he read down the list.

"One element off the list for each tadlowog we pull off," she countered.

"Deal, but we'll use them in pairs – at least. So you really have all this?" George asked, after he carefully scrutinized her notes on his list. "How did you get all this past Filch?"

"Really?" Dylan stared at George stunned, her mouth open. "You'll really help me?"

Fred handed his brother the container labeled shampoo and hairspray. "I don't think Filch's into hygiene products that much." He turned to Dylan. "Sure, we'll help. The first three times or so will be easy – but the next three or four will be trickier – the last ones will be tough, she'll be suspicious," Fred said. "You said you have ten and in a few weeks you will have fifteen more?"

Dylan nodded. "Fifteen of the eggs have hatched so far – there might be a few more, but not many. They are starting to eat the eggs that haven't hatched."

"Who knows that you have them?" George asked before she could answer.

"Hagrid knows I have a few, but I don' think he knows exactly how many," she replied. "My dorm mates know... and my best friends, Mary Ellen and Jolliet, they know what I intend to do... But no one else does – except you two. Mary Ellen and Jeanine would help if I ask them to."

"All right, just grab some sandwiches and meet us at lunch tomorrow, by the statue of Lachlan the Lanky, just to the right at the top of the stairs that lead down to the sixth floor," George suggested. "You will pass him on the way back to your dormitory."

Dylan nodded as she stood up to go, and she beamed happily. "Okay, tomorrow at lunch."

"So, now that you have us both wide awake," Fred interjected. "Don't suppose you'd be up for that shag?" She turned around to face him, completely shocked by what he suggested.

It took a moment before she could answer him. "When pigs fly, Dumbledore is Minister of Magic, and I finally can sort out which of you is which. I couldn't even dream of it, unless I knew who I was kissing!"

"I'm Fred, he's George," Fred said, grinning at her answer. "Hey, bro, you don't suppose Hagrid has any pigs, do you?"

"We could always conjure one up for her – complete with wings too!" George suggested as he looked at Dylan with an expression that combined both mischief and eagerness with a big grin.

"That just leaves convincing Cornelius Fudge to hand over the reins to Dumbledore..." Fred said, unconvincingly. "Would you settle for two out of three?"

Dylan nearly choked as she stared back at them. "You're joking?"

"No way! We'd be happy to oblige. However, you didn't give us much notice on the requirements," George stated.

~o0o~

Fred and George were not in the Great Hall when Dylan went in to nick some food. She had told Mary Ellen all about the encounter in their dorm room, and both girls laughed at how crazy it all sounded. "Cover for me," she whispered to her. "I have to meet them. I'll see you in the library later, okay?" She rolled cheese and grapes into her napkin, stuffing it into her pocket with a couple of apples.

Mary Ellen nodded and helped tuck eight chicken legs, rolled in a napkin, into her other robe pocket. "Just be sure that they're not setting you up. Remember that prank they pulled on us after the Quidditch game last year? It took Flitwick twenty minutes to remove all the charms and jinxes from the three suits of armor they placed in front of the entrance to our common room."

"Yes, but you have to admit – it was brilliant," Dylan replied. "The charmed armor didn't actually stab anyone, just swung the axe and lances around a bit to keep everyone out." She shook her head to put an end to any further warnings. "They don't like the Toad any more than we do. I'm going to trust them."

As Dylan ran up the stairs to the seventh floor, only one twin stood beside the statue. "Hi... Fred?" she said, biting her lip.

"No, George," he replied. She exhaled sharply, and shook her head annoyed with herself. "No, really... George," he said again.

"You would think I'd get it right at least once – if just by accident!" she exclaimed.

He laughed heartedly. "You'd think that, wouldn't you?" He led her down the corridor to where Fred was pacing. She turned to stare at a tapestry depicting a scene of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. She turned around and noticed the door for the first time when George touched her shoulder. "Come on then, we are going to use this room," he said with a jerk of his thumb, and she followed the twins inside.

It was an old classroom, that was arranged exactly like the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The teacher's desk that stood at the end of the room was exactly like the Toad's desk, with a pitcher and glass of water on the surface. Fred produced a bucket of small balls that looked like hackey-sacks. "So let's see your aim," he said, giving her a soft, squishy ball. Her aim was dead on with each try.

"Impressive, but yes, too obvious," he finally stated. "Incedo vado," he said clearly, and the ball zoomed away from him in a straight shot, so fast that it almost appeared to just materialize in the glass with a splash. "Incedo as you know means enter into; vado is go, hasten, rush. Combine them. That's what we used. Unlike the ball here, the tadlowogs should slide into the water without a splash – it's the slimy skin they have. Give it a go."

The new spell and wand movement was harder to aim, but with Fred's patient help, she quickly managed the spell, although her accuracy was off. "I'll have this down by the next class," she said determinedly as the ball glazed off the pitcher. George caught it and tossed it back to them.

"And we will handle the cover," George stated. "When her back is turned..."

"Get them into her water glass before everyone has taken their seats," Fred finished the sentence. "That would be the best time to do it."

~o0o~

Dylan and Mary Ellen practically ran to the classroom and were the first ones inside. Umbridge looked up and glared at the girls suspiciously. They took their seats without comment and pulled out their essays as the class filed in. Just as Fred and George entered the room, Mary Ellen nudged Dylan, but she had already reached into her bag for the small jar, which held the first few tadlowogs. Suddenly one of the twins tripped on a desk and knocked it over. "Mr. Weasley!" Umbridge admonished him. "Set that desk upright at once."

"Incedo vado," Dylan hissed and flicked her wand in a sharp, quick movement from the tadlowog in the jar to the water glass on Umbridge's desk. The tiny creature shot from her lap, almost imperceptibly, into the water glass without making any splash. That worked beautifully, she thought with a sly satisfied smile. She casually laid her wand on the desk and put the lid back on the jar in her lap. The tadlowog had slipped into the water in a silent swoosh, with barely a ripple in the water. And if anyone saw me, hopefully it appeared as if I was simply setting my wand down. The tiny grindylow maneuvered in the new glass then settled on the bottom.

Dylan purposefully avoided Fred's gaze and flipped through her textbook as she tried to appear bored. She had, in fact, placed several pages in her book copied from a charms book in the library that had intrigued her.

About halfway through class, the Toad picked up her glass of water to take a drink. The tadlowog, unhappy at being disturbed and tipped, rushed at her face; its tentacle fingers grasped her upper lip and its sharp teeth clamped down on her nose. Umbridge let out a loud shriek and threw the glass across the room. The glass shattered, which caused several students on that side of the room to duck. "Messrs Weasley, which one of you did this?" she finally yelled, after she finally managed to dislodge the small creature.

"I didn't do it," they both responded as Lee piped in, "They didn't do it – honestly!" simultaneously.

"Professor, they never went anywhere near your desk," Dylan stated, trying to force herself from laughing with her most innocent expression. "Mary Ellen and I were sitting here the whole class, and neither Fred nor George went anywhere near your desk."

Umbridge dabbed at the blood on her nose. "Uh, Professor, your nose – maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey," Jolliet suggested from the third row.

"Yes, yes, I... all of you go. You're all dismissed," she said as her nose began to swell up and turn a rather ugly shade of purplish blue.

As the class began to collect their books, Fred nudged her. "You did bring more than one – right?" Dylan nodded and took the small jar from her bag. He flicked his wand and flung the tadlowog into the pitcher that sat on the corner of the desk.

"Dylan, you'll get caught!" Mary Ellen admonished her, as they left their desks.

George casually bumped Dylan's shoulder playfully. "That was brilliant! Did my eyes deceive me, or did you use two?" he whispered.

"Yes, I figured that way she would have another surprise next class, and she can't pin it on us," Fred admitted as they left the classroom.

"It was his suggestion. We threw it in her water pitcher while she was holding her nose with the hanky," Dylan admitted quietly. "You said I should carry at least two or three in my book bag..."

"There is hope for you yet," George said, smiling. "So, I don't suppose you have any hair care products you'd like to give us – do you?"

"You already have four, and I have eight more tadlowogs to go. Not to mention the fifteen that hatched... remember?" she asked. "So until we get another in her drink..."

"We'll be in touch," Fred stated.

~o0o~

The following week, as the class filed in to take their seats, one of the twins gave Dylan a slight nod. She fumbled with her book bag, pulled out the glass jar and loosened the lid. Dylan sent the first tadlowog flying into the water pitcher on the Toad's desk as everyone was settling down at their desks. She had been so nervous that she hadn't realized that the distraction the twins created was to accidentally drop some stink pellets on the floor. She barely had time to do her Bubble-head charm when George pointed out that Umbridge was having difficulty opening up the windows.

As soon as Dylan opened up the jar again, he flicked the tadlowog deftly into the water pitcher. Halfway through class, Umbridge shrieked, making half the class jump in their seats as the tadlowog latched onto her face and bit her lip when she took a sip of her water. She managed to fling the tiny creature off her face; however, it landed on Mary Ellen's book as she sat reading.

Mary Ellen jumped up and crashed into the desk behind her as the tadlowog landed on her book. "Augh, get it off... get it off..." she screamed, and the class erupted in laughter. Thompson, who sat behind her, flicked his wand and flung the tiny creature onto the glass window, and it slid off the windowpane and fell outside.

"Who did this?" Umbridge yelled. "Settle down... in your seats – now! I want order in my classroom... Who is responsible for this – this... thing...?"

"It looked like a grindylow, Professor," Roseanne said, still standing away from her desk on Mary Ellen's right. "Only it was much smaller than the one Professor Lupin showed us."

"Do not mention that man's name in my class," Umbridge snapped. "Who put that creature in my water glass?" The entire room full of students looked at her unabashed and laughed, although nobody admitted anything.

At lunch, as Dylan entered the Great Hall, she was nearly run over by Fred, George and Lee as they skirted around her and her friends. When Dylan regained her balance, she watched them walk to the Gryffindor table to eat. Only when she turned to the Ravenclaw table did she realize that she held a note in her hand. She quickly made her way to an empty space at the table to unfold the small parchment.

Dylan,

We heard that the Toad got the other one in her second class. Bit her nose and set the class in an uproar.

Just thought you'd like to know.

That will be two you owe us.

George

Two days later Fred slipped her another note in class, which simply said, 'When the ink falls, be ready...' She looked at him, but he refused to meet her eye. Dylan pulled the jar from her bag along with her Transfiguration book, disguised as her Defense Against the Dark Arts book, and hid the jar between her knees. A second note, rolled up in a ball landed in her lap. 'Is that really where you want me to reach and get it?'

Quickly she wrote, 'Where would you like me to put it?' and tossed it back at him. He snickered softly. Within seconds the rolled up parchment landed in her lap again. 'Higher would be nice.' Dylan couldn't suppress the look of shock as her head snapped in his direction. Her cheeks instantly felt hot.

"Mr. Weasley, do you have something to say before the entire class?" Umbridge asked.

"No, Professor," he answered.

Dylan straightened up in her chair. "He was asking me what pages the theory for defending against the Impediment Curse and Imperius Curse are on, Professor," she lied.

Umbridge regarded Dylan shrewdly. "And why would you both need to know that? The Imperious Curse is an Unforgivable Curse – no one is likely to use it on you."

"If you say so, Professor," Dylan replied. "However, it is in our book," she turned to Fred, "on page two hundred and seventy-nine. The assertive communication skills and proper defensive tactic for avoiding the Unforgivable spells. Proper communication skills for avoiding such spells as the Impediment curse are on page two hundred and seventy-four." Dylan pretended to return to her own book as nearly everyone in class turned to those pages in their books. "Although, I have doubts that these tactics will work against a Death Eater..." she mumbled. Apparently several students sitting around Dylan heard her, for they snickered.

Umbridge came around her desk, and stood directly in front of Dylan and Fred. "Why are you all worried about an Unforgivable that no one will ever use on you?"

"Because someone might!" said someone at the back of the class. Umbridge walked toward the offender. At that moment Fred elbowed Dylan, and she reached down to open the jar in her lap. Umbridge paced around the room between the desks. She reiterated the Ministry's position regarding the use of Unforgivables and how unnecessary the use of aggressive defense magic was as a way of defending against them.

"The water glass," Fred whispered, "on one... two..." Jacques, sitting at the desk two rows behind George, suddenly accidentally dropped his inkwell on the floor, and it splashed all over the Toad's shoes. "Three." Deftly, Fred flicked his wand and sent the tiny creature into Umbridge's water pitcher. Dylan hesitated. "Now," he hissed, and she sent the tiny creature flying, landing just on the edge of the water glass nearly toppling it over. Thankfully the tadlowog's movement as it slipped into the glass prevented the mishap. "Lucky shot," he said softly, barely discernable under Umbridge's angry retort to Anthony's inquiry in the fourth row.

The rest of the class passed without incident. However, at dinner as Dylan and her friends laughed about the latest articles in the Quibbler, she overheard some of the second years joking about the Toad finding a creature in her water glass and then getting bit by one that had been hiding in the water pitcher when she tried to pour herself a fresh glass of water. Dylan scribbled a quick note to Fred and George, to tell them what she had overheard and asked to meet them at the statue of Gregory the Smarmy in the east wing corridor, then used the Quick-zoom spell to pass the note to them across the Great Hall.

Dylan met up with Fred and George at the statue and gave them containers labeled sculpting spray, styling spray, shampoo and finishing rinse, which actually contained oxygen, hydrogen, the second bottles of brackish and fog.

Just as Fred was tucking the bottle of finishing rinse into his book bag, Professor Snape appeared. "What are you three doing here?" he snarled. He flicked his wand, and the bottles of hydrogen, and magically condensed fog, flew into the professor's hands. "Styling spray and finishing rinse..." he read off the labels.

"Yes, sir," Fred answered unperturbed, "for our hair."

George picked up his book bag, shouldered it, and faced Snape squarely. "A guy has to look good for the ladies, you know."

Snape glared at the twins. "If you say so," he said contemptuously. "Miss Avondale, explain yourself. Why are you here with these two?"

"They asked me what I use on my hair, sir, so I got them those," she answered. I cannot believe I am lying to a teacher! Snape stared at her while he obviously debated the validity of her statement. Oh, Circe, he can't read minds – can he?

"Hair care products?" he sneered. Dylan matched her breathing to the rise and fall of Snape's chest, unable trust her own breathing pattern, as she fought to stay calm. She was just about to panic when he handed Fred back the chemicals. "I am sure that there is somewhere you are supposed to be at this time. I suggest that you go there – now."

"Oh, yes, sir – right away, Professor!" Dylan stammered.

George placed his hand on her elbow. "Maybe you could tell us how to use this stuff in... the library," he suggested.

"Or we could go to the courtyard," Fred offered, and the three of them walked away. "Well done, pet. You're getting the hang of this quite nicely," he said as they descended a flight of stairs.

George laughed as he watched Dylan blush. "Of course, you have a long way to go to be a fully accomplished master of mischief and practical jokes – but given time you could become a consummate proficient..."

"Yeah, it takes years of training to be a professional virtuoso like ourselves," Fred added.

~***~

Author's Note:

I want to thank, Lumiere, Musci5 and Notsosaintly for their time and efforts in helping me shape this story up into something readable.