Pale-Pink #3

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Pale-Pink #3

April 1st, 3:26 pm

Quite a bit in common? Whatever does that mean?

His eyes continue to bore into mine. I’m almost concerned that he’s become so skilled at Legilimency that I might not even be aware of his intrusion.

Lee clears his throat, and Snape looks over before saying, “Yes, well, back to the matter at hand. This may very well be the event we have been waiting for. Decree 309 is so exceedingly restrictive about Proper Smiles that even the pink-draped, sheep-like beings parading the streets outside will have to take notice.”

“Eh, Snape, that’s what –”

“– you think, you wanker. We still say that –”

“– it’s going to take something bloody big –”

“– something showy to get their attention.”

Snape turns to me. “And what do you think, Ms. Granger?”

“Me? Why should you care what I think?”

“Because, as I have already informed you, you are now a part of this organization.”

“But, but …”

He cocks an eyebrow at me, but I’m at a loss for words since my hither-to-now protests have gone ignored.

I’ve spent the last three years fighting to suppress my constant inclination to speak my mind freely. I never thought it would actually turn into difficult conditioning to break.

The twins join in. “Yeah, Mione, how about it?”

“What do you think?”

“You always were a smart one.”

“Now Snape here, he’s bloody clever, but –”

“– two swots are better than one, just –”

“– as long as we don’t have to be –”

“– in class with you or shag you.”

Goddess – they’re constantly using Inappropriate Language – that was banned with Decree 5!

Snorting loudly, Snape replies, “I can guarantee that I will never lower my standards to such an extent that sexual relations with either of you could ever be a possibility.” He turns to me and smirks. “As a fellow ‘swot,’ as it were, would you agree with me, Ms. Granger?”

Is he flirting with me?

Then he winks.

He is flirting!

I’m gobsmacked. No one has flirted with me in over two years. Such is Mis-Behavior of the highest sort. Any interactions that could be construed as vaguely sexual are sure to get one sent straight to the camps. The Decrees about such are numerous: Number 23 – no public kissing, 31 no public hugging, 47 – no public hand-holding, 49 – no public touching of any sort that conveys affection, 54 –

“If you will allow me to explain.” Snape interrupts my mental list making. “Within these walls, we are Back in Black. This is more than a mere fashion statement.”

Lee, having just come from outside, wears the darkest medium brown allowed for men, but both twins are dressed in a green so dark as to almost appear black – a hue disallowed since Decree 124 went into effect thirteen months ago.

“We make every conscious attempt to break and subvert all Behavioral Decrees made by that pastel menace who happens to presume to rule us all.

“By winking at you in a suggestive manner, I have just violated Decrees 54, no public winking, and 57, no flirtatious behavior of any sort.” He smirks. “I must admit, they are two I have been unable to violate hither to now. We are, as you have so aptly noted, unfortunately something of a boys’ club.”

“Hey, now – don’t forget Ginny!”

“Our sister is definitely worth flirting with –”

“– even if we’d hex you blind if you –”

“– ever attempted to do so!”

Snape turns back to me. “I rest my case, Ms. Granger. You are the first female I’ve come into contact with within these walls that I’ve felt free to enter into a flirtation with. Forgive me if my attempts are therefore somewhat clumsy – it is not a skill that I ever valued, or thought I would ever value, until Umbridge outlawed it that is.”

Lee chimes in. “Snape here, see, he keeps a list of the Decrees and is trying to break them all. Me, I go about it with a different approach – I’ve picked my favorites and try to break them as often as possible. I mean, the very color of my skin is too dark according to the Pink Lord!”

“Us, too,” says George.

“Yeah, we’ve got our favorites –”

“– right, and we stick with them, such as –”

“Inappropriate Language – we’ve been –”

“– effing breaking that one since the first week.”

“And Lee here, the tosser, he’s been practicing –”

“– and he’s bloody excellent at saying normal things –”

“– in a tone that makes them sounds as –”

“– effing dirty as possible!”

More snickers.

I’ve had enough of this!

“Why are you doing this?” My voice sounds cold and disapproving, even to my own ears. “People out there are miserable, and you’re making rude jokes. Is this all just a lark?”

Facial expressions around me sober.

Snape is the first to respond. “My motives are admittedly selfish, Ms. Granger. You see, I am the antithesis of everything the Pink Lord deems appropriate, whether it be matters of behavior, dress, facial expressions, etc. There is no place for me in such a society. I was forced into hiding the very first week.”

“The twins and I are walking advertisements for Mis-Behavior if we let ourselves go,” explains Lee. “We’d have been shipped off to the camps within the first year if we hadn’t found old Snape here and a way to have hope.”

“And for us, it’s become much more personal –”

“– than that. Percy may have been a wanker –”

“– of the highest sort, but bloody hell, he was still –”

“– our brother, and she had him Pinked as soon as –”

“– he did the smallest effing thing wrong.”

When they released him, Molly and Arthur took him back to the Burrow, where he shambled around mumbling “Good day” and repeatedly opened doors for imagined guests. But Percy was Pinked using a new procedure that had yet to be perfected. He went into convulsions and died a week later.

It turns out that blood splattered on Pale Pink #1 stands out in gruesome, color-coordinating contrast.

The Morgue Wizard who came to collect the body almost reported Molly for failing to maintain her Proper Smile, but Arthur was able to persuade him otherwise.

And since that day, I’ve never seen her Smile slip – not even once. But her eyes …

I look back up to find them watching me.

“So, will you join us, Ms. Granger?”

“I … I’ll think about it.”

Snape watches my face for a moment. “Reasonable enough under the circumstances. After all, you’re intelligent enough to know that merely admitting you’d spoken to us would get you sent to the camps as well. Reporting us would be folly of the highest sort, and you are not a foolish person, Ms. Granger.

“Trust me when I say that we are deadly earnest about bringing down the Pink Lord.”

Lee and the twins nod, serious expressions still in place.

“However,” Snape continues, “I will not divulge anything further unless you choose to become a member.”

Pulling a lace doily from his pocket, he waves his wand over it. “Portus.” Handing it to me, he explains, “We use their own items against them, Ms. Granger. Not only do they not suspect anything covered in gewgaws and lace, I also find it brings me a certain amount of amusement.”

I meet his smirk with one of my own. I think it’s the first time I’ve smiled in years and meant it.

It has the added benefit of being nowhere near a Proper Smile.

AN: Please review – it’ll save me from Thinking Pink!