New Chapter for Eternity
Eternity
jmlane575 Reviews | 7.6/10 (5 Ratings, 0 Likes, 2 Favorites )
Harry and Ginny marry, yet he dies a year later in Final Battle (they had no chance for a wedding night). Five years go by and Ginny meets a strangely familiar young man very much like Harry in looks and personality and finds herself falling in love with him despite her best efforts. Could this be her lost husband somehow reincarnated? (Harry left her some of his DNA and she bore him two children, fraternal twins -- the original characters mentioned.)
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About jmlane57
Author
jmlane57
Member Since 2006 | 30 Stories | Favorited by 14 | 6 Reviews Written | 33 Review Responses
I have been a Potter fan from day one but just recently started writing fic for it. I presently have roughly thirty stories completed, at least four of them novel-length, and about eleven (yes, eleven) WIPs. I'm most into the canon pairings of Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione, but if a story is written well enough, I'll check out Harry/Draco, Draco/Hermione and even a threesome with Harry, Draco and Ginny.
Reviews for Eternity
Let's see. DNA is not the same thing as sperm. Sperm contains DNA, but if an egg is going to be fertilized just by DNA, the procedure is done outside the womb because the nucleus of the egg has to be removed first. You might want to rework that part a bit.
Also, I find it heard to believe that Harry and Ginny would have never had a night together in a year. If they're in the same country, there must have been times when their paths crossed. And, he had to sleep sometimes. It's not like he could take a potion and be awake 24/7 in search of Horcruxes. Their marriage wasn't a secret, so they could have found the time and a place to be together. Or perhaps you think that their marriage wasn't important enough to them?
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Eternity)
I’ll grant you the bit about DNA, at least up to a point, even though I’ve seen virtually all forms of bodily fluids and tissue referred to as DNA. I researched artificial insemination online and I incorporated the gist of the information on the subject into the story just the way I found it. And maybe it’s hard to believe that our couple couldn’t have had a night together in a year. Can’t blame you for that, but it can and does happen. Maybe I should have added something to clarify this, but they were not in the same country—one reason they were writing each other so much while apart.
And of course Harry had to eat and sleep sometimes, but there are also times he preferred to do other things in place of them, at least occasionally, which I have seen JKR portray in the books…and in this case, those “other things” usually meant writing Ginny. He definitely wasn’t close enough to her to simply come back and spend the night with her whenever he wished; that was the whole premise of the story, the fact that they weren’t able to be together.
And if they were together, one can guarantee that the last thing they’d be doing was sleeping! Of course their marriage was important to them; that’s why they wrote so much, pouring out their feelings to each other on paper. They had basically already decided it was best that Harry concentrate as much as possible on his mission to destroy Voldemort before they could make any concrete plans for their future. Let’s just say that writing Ginny and living as best he could was what he did half the time and the other half was concentrating on how best to defeat Voldemort the other half with Ron and Hermione.
Forgive me for saying so, but I just have to mention this. You tend to say the same things over and over in your chapter. She thinks something, and then she says it, nearly the same wording. I mean, we've just read it, you needn't repeat it again, and sometimes even again. It makes me think that you're just trying to lengthen your wordcounts in your chapters. Also, Ginny's characterization was a bit off here. Well, I suppose it depends what you like, but to just meet someone, a man no less, and start saying how you wished your husband could have been inside of you? how you gave him hand jobs? I don't know. That just seems out the box!
Well, after reading that other story of yours, the one I detested with the creepy Sirius and badly characterized Harry and Ginny, I decided to give this story a chance. It seems you are fascinated with pregnancies and especially twins. Do you always writing in pregnancies and go into such detail? Is this your line of work?
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Eternity)
No, I just like to see my favourite characters having children, the more the better. It probably stems from the fact that my mum worked in a maternity ward for over thirty years and loved working with the babies and mothers there. She always came home with various anecdotes, some of which eventually found their way into my fics. I hope you find this at least marginally acceptable.
WOW!! This is a great story! I can't wait for another chapter.
Beautiful story. Looking forward to updates